Peaches, Puzzles, and Problems
by Cleopatra Antoinette
Summary: "Just find some info on this for me," April said. "It'll be easy," she said. A few bombings, crazed ninjas, multiple injuries, several assassination attempts and four anthropomorphic turtles later, 'easy' has a new meaning for me. It's a bad one.
1. Chapter One

HiHo everyone! I am very pleased to announce the launch of the first actual fanfiction that I have ever done that contains more than three or four chapters. I've worked long and hard on this and I hope you enjoy it accordingly.

A HUUUUUGE shout-out of thanks to my beta readers, Colonel Pop, GoodSmilesGirl and PitaFish! Don't know what I'd have done without you!

I don't own TMNT or any characters therein. So don't sue.

The story mostly fits into the movie universe. I haven't seen the 2003 TMNT cartoons, so I'm really only familiar with the films. I might incorporate things as the story goes along, but we'll have to see.

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><p><strong>Chapter One<strong>

My name is Irma Rose Langinstein. Up until a few months ago, I had a steady job as a librarian at a university and had a nice, cozy, two-bedroom apartment, with the spare one turned into an office. I've been married twice, both to guys who would win any Scumbag competition, and I have the emotional scars to prove it. I'm in my mid twenties and I have- had, I guess- one best friend who probably now hates my guts. I may or may not be in love with someone who is not exactly what I was looking for but has a heart of gold and an honest, kind soul.

Oh, and I may also be trapped in a cell with no discernable door while screaming at the people who put me in here.

It's a long story. I probably have to go back a ways to explain fully.

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><p>I suppose my initial trouble started in High School. My parents were both professors; my mother had doctorates in Gender Studies and History, and my father had doctorates in Religious Studies and Philosophy. My childhood could be defined by lots of books and parents who believed that celebrating holidays and separating the sexes led to the downfall of humanity. So basically I grew up wearing gender-neutral clothes and never had a birthday or Christmas. I got to skip four grades thanks to their influence, but it didn't really seem worth it to me at the time. Or now, for that matter.<p>

While in High School, I latched onto any guy that would show me any attention and did anything I could get away with. I graduated High School when I was fifteen, so you can tell that I had a pretty exciting pre-adolescent life. I went to college after that, met a guy, and married him shortly after I turned eighteen, which was also the year I graduated college top of my class. The marriage lasted about two years, during which time he took to beating me and spent our money drinking. The only escape that I had after that was grad school, and I buried myself in my work in an attempt to block out the misery of my home life. I wasn't about to get a divorce because I knew if I did, my parents would hold it over my head forever and use me as a classic example of why marriage should be outlawed for anyone under thirty five years of age. Luckily for me, it ended shortly before my last year because he got himself a bit too drunk and died in a fiery car wreck.

After that, I graduated top of my class again and went to work for my Alma Mater; there I met someone in law school who had a smooth tongue and clever fingers. I'm sure you can guess by now that my self-destructive attention-seeking habits landed me another winner. We had a Las Vegas wedding and (for me, another) two year-long marriage that could be defined by tons of excitement and crazy stunts. It ended when I found him banging a professor in our shower, although the divorce took ages to finalize. Fortunately, the settlement I got from it wasn't too bad so I guess it wasn't a total waste. Looking back on it, I probably shouldn't have been too surprised that it happened. After all, he was a lawyer.

Once that mess was over, I had a rather large check, a Ph.D. in Library Science, a family that was ashamed of me, and I still looked for attention in the wrong places. So I went to the Gazeling* University in New York City to become the Head Librarian in charge of acquisitions and purchases.

Honestly, I can't really remember how and when April O'Neil and I became friends. I do remember helping her research stuff for a story (she worked as a reporter at this point in time), but I don't remember meeting her. She says she asked me to find a book and when I asked her what it was for, I told her about five other books that would be much more useful. But I guess no matter how we met, we must have hit it off because we've been best friends for a few years now. We spend pretty much every Friday hanging out. Her boyfriend, Casey Jones, had to pass my approval before I would let her date him (she would have anyway, but it was fun for both of us to make him squirm a little).

I looked around and went on a few casual dates, but I was pretty leery of getting into a serious relationship with anyone at that point in time since I had already been through some pretty rough patches. Of course, I also dated mostly stable guys, which didn't appeal to my adventurous (reckless) nature, so I got bored fairly quickly.

Anyway, I guess this whole intro is to kind of show you that I have really, really bad taste in men.

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><p>The exciting stuff started about a year ago. I was working in the library, doing my own thing, when a familiar shadow covered my desk. I looked up to see my favorite redhead grinning at me.<p>

"April!" I exclaimed, and stood up to give her a hug.

"Hey, Irma! Looking good. How's things?" she asked as she hugged me back.

"I'm terrific! You don't look too bad yourself," I said, as I cast my gaze over her. She had gone on another one of her excursions to find an antique or artifact for a buyer. She had done pretty well for herself as a reporter, but she was doing even better as an antique dealer, although she still ran her business out of that old shop that had burned down a few years back. I guess she just felt attached to the place to abandon it, and had poured pretty much every penny into repairs. Personally I'd rather have crawled through five miles of mud than live anywhere close to where my parents had been, but I had unresolved child issues.

April sat down on the edge of my desk, which was her usual perch. I sat on the other side. "Yeah," she said. "Just got back from Kuwait looking for some old statue of a falcon. Apparently it was a lot more valuable than it looked since I got a good deal for it."

"Oh, was that what you needed that book for? On the-"

"Legendary treasure of Ajer Kalid? Yep."

I couldn't help but feel a little envious of my friend. She had such an exciting life with a good boyfriend, whereas I had a boring desk-job and a showerhead. Oh, well.

I was pulled back from my thoughts when April said "Actually, I may need your help again. I have a potential customer hinting at me getting something for him, but I was hoping-"

"To get more information on what he wants beforehand? Say no more," I held up my hands and went back to my computer, ready to type in whatever leads she had to go on. "What is it this time? A golden idol? A Mesopotamian crown? A piece of the Holy Crucifix?"

April hesitated for a moment before giving a short bark of laughter. "It may as well be. He's hinting at getting something called the Fruit of Seiobo."

I glanced up at her curiously before typing it in. I read out the results to her from my computer. "Umm, says here Seiobo was a Shinto Goddess who grew magical peaches that granted eternal life." I looked back up at her face. "Does that ring any bells?"

She stood and came to stand next to me, looking at what my computer had pulled up. "Well, it certainly matches the Fruit of Seiobo part. But maybe he's talking about a work of art or something."

"According to the database, there's several books on Japanese art and mythology, but nothing specifically on Seiobo, with or without fruit."

April looked a little disappointed. "Rats. I was hoping that this would be something easy."

I laughed. "Since when is anything you do easy? Besides, if it were so simple to find these things, you'd be out of a job."

"True enough," April chuckled. Her purse suddenly buzzed and she opened it to pull out her cell phone. She frowned at the screen and then turned back to me. "Hey, I have to run off now, but you wanna do something Friday? I'm missing our nights out."

"Sure!" I agreed. "Night out or night in?"

"Night in. I'll get the food if you get the movie and we do it at your place."

"Done. I'm thinking Ori Palace takeout." I cocked my head at her sudden expression that said "ick". "Not in a Japanese food mood?" I asked.

April shook her head, red hair flowing around her face. "Not at this very moment, but I'm sure I'll be craving it tomorrow." She started to walk away and waved back at me in farewell. "See you later, Irma!"

"Bye, April!"

I went back to my work, checking up on books and the status of things in the library, when I heard someone clear their throat politely. My gaze flew up and my heart stopped beating for a moment.

There, in the doorway, was one of the cutest guys I had ever seen. He had bright green eyes, slicked back black hair, a nice suit, and a smile that killed. He looked around six feet tall and though I couldn't tell for sure, I was fairly certain that he was toned under those clothes. He looked a little Asian, but I figured it had to be a couple generations back since he looked more Caucasian.

I suddenly felt very self conscious of how I looked. I had gone for comfort over couture in wardrobe choice that day; I wore a sensible but plain blue skirt and sweater-top, along with plain black heels. My only accessories were my watch and my earrings. My pink glasses didn't count. I knew I wasn't plain- although my brown hair and gray eyes didn't exactly help me stand out- but at that moment I was kicking myself mentally for not putting on some perfume and better makeup that morning. And a push-up bra.

I suddenly realized that I hadn't said anything for a few moments, and I fought back a blush of embarrassment before pulling out my Professional-But-Still-A-Woman voice with a smile of apology. "I'm sorry, my mind was asleep. Can I help you?"

The man laughed and walked closer. "No worries. I feel half asleep sometimes too." Good Lord, but his teeth were even whiter up close. "I was wondering if you could help me find a book. I tried looking myself but," he looked a little sheepish "I never have been very good at finding things."

I smiled reassuringly. "The only reason I'm any good is because I was trained. What were you looking for?" I was technically the head librarian, but we were short on help, so I also did desk work to keep things running smoothly.

"Well, I'm just starting at the University Art Department, and I'm planning to do a lecture on myth-based pieces of art. There was one in particular that I've been hoping to find out about- I believe it was called Seiobo's Nectar, by the artist Kaizo Shizumi."

I was surprised at the request. While it wasn't rare for people to sometimes look for the same topic, it _was_ rare for people to come in looking for almost the exact same book. Especially something as bizarre as Bobo's Apple or something.

He must have seen the expression on my face because he looked confused in turn. "Is something wrong, Miss…" He stumbled a little at my last name and had to look at the name plaque on my desk for help. Plenty of people did.

"Lang-En-Steen," I pronounced for him, "And no, I just had someone in a few moments ago asking for almost the exact same thing."

"Huh, no kidding? Small world." He smiled at me.

I couldn't help but return the smile. "Apparently so. " I turned to my computer and typed in Seiobo's Nectar. A few different results came up. "It seems that we don't have anything specifically on this piece of art, but it looks like we do have a book titled _Lost Treasures of Ancient Asia_. Maybe that will help you."

"Thanks very much, Miss- actually, may I just call you Irma?" The man sent another gorgeous smile my way and I was glad to be sitting down- I felt weak-kneed. Of course, I couldn't let a chance like this go by and not take advantage of it. So I sent him a brilliant smile of my own (or what I hoped was a close second) and said "Only if you tell me your name too."

He held out his hand for a friendly shake and said "Ken Shinobu." My earlier suspicions about his Asian background were true then. I gave myself a little mental pat on the back. I took his hand in a firm grip and shook it. "Alright, Ken. Very nice to meet you."

"The pleasure is all mine, Irma."

"I guess I'll be seeing you around then, since you're working here now."

"I certainly hope so," he said. _There is a God and He loves me_, I thought to myself. I dragged myself back to the present when he said his goodbyes and walked away from my desk to the front doors of the library. I couldn't help but watch him walk away. I was only emotionally scared, after all, not dead and blind.

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><p><em>*Author's Note: Yes, this is a fictional college. It'll make the story go easier, trust me.<em>

I do realize that there is a disturbing lack of turtles in this chapter. However, I want to put in some plot devices before they make their formal appearance. Don't worry, they'll be around soon. I hope you liked the first chapter regardless! Reviews and constructive criticism are welcomed and encouraged!


	2. Chapter Two

Special thanks to my beta-readers, Colonel Pop, GoodGirlSmiles, and PitaFish.

I don't own TMNT, just the story.

Author's Note: Yes, the character Irma is from the original '87 cartoon, but the story isn't based around that. I'm using Irma for reasons that I'll probably explain soon since it appears to be causing confusion. I honestly didn't foresee that happening because not many people know about the first cartoons, or rather, never watched it themselves. Irma is a rather obscure character in the TMNT universes, being in just the one series. She's largely the same in personality- just more mature. Sort of.

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><p><strong>Chapter Two<strong>

Things were pretty ordinary after that afternoon when April and Mr. Sexy came walking in, at least in terms of out of norm, but I was busy anyway. Being a Head Librarian didn't make things any slower than being a regular librarian. I made sure to make a note of whatever came my way that looked anything like something either of them would be interested in concerning Bobo's Grapes (I could only keep so many titles in my head, after all) and e-mailed them both with the ISBN numbers and names so that they could look them up for themselves if they wanted to.

Friday came quickly, which was nice since it meant I'd get to sleep in the next two days. I didn't work on weekends, which was fine by me. The librarian who did work weekends might get paid a little more hourly, but I preferred having a few days off.

I was just leaving the library to head home that afternoon when I bumped into Ken again, in a very literal sense. I was busy rooting around in my purse to make sure I didn't forget my university ID in my office (which I was occasionally prone to do) when I ran into a figure in front of me. I stumbled back in surprise, stuttering an apology when I heard "Irma?"

Quickly adjusting my glasses, I saw that, yes indeed, it was Professor Babe in front of me. I had mixed feelings about it, since I had just bumped into him and made him drop several papers onto the ground. "Oh, geeze, I'm sorry!" I bent down to help him pick them up.

He protested and knelt down too. "No, I should be thanking you! You…" His voice trailed off when his hand fell onto mine when we both reached for the same paper. I hastily withdrew my hand and handed him the other papers that I had grabbed and we both stood, laughing nervously.

Ken cleared his throat and then started again. "Like I was saying, I should be thanking you. Those books that you sent me the info on were very helpful."

I grinned at him and adjusted my glasses looking up at him again. "Oh, really? Great! I was hoping they would."

He nodded and gestured towards the direction of the parking lot. "I was getting ready to head out actually. Would you mind if I walked with you to our cars? If you're leaving too I mean."

_You might as well ask if I'd mind if you'd show up in my office to make out with me_, I said in my mind. "No, not at all!" I said out loud with a smile. We started walking together, and I noticed how I had to take an extra stride occasionally to keep up with him. Long legs, I noted. "So, have you given that lecture to your students yet? Did you get the information you were looking for?"

"Actually, I did give the lecture. It went very well, which is good since it was my first one here. Always nice to know you're interesting," he joked.

"Well, you'd sure be able to keep my attention," I said in a jokingly flirty way.

He threw his head back and laughed. "In that case maybe I'll start inviting you to hear me lecture. That way I'd know there'd be at least one person listening." His stopped laughing and looked a little disappointed after a moment though. "But I never did find out too much about Seiobo's Nectar. It's a shame, really. I was hoping to use it in the lecture to really emphasis how much can be lost if people aren't careful. You really have no idea how much humanity has misplaced or destroyed over the centuries due to one culture not valuing or understanding another."

"It is a shame," I agreed. "I think people would have gotten along better if they had just gone by the rule Make Love, Not War."

He grinned and winked at me. "Can't say I argue with that one."

We both laughed again. "I'll be happy to send you any more info I can find on it if you like," I offered. I was rewarded with another brilliant smile and had another mental-swoon.

We chatted lightly until we got to the parking lot and, not even thinking, I walked to my car and he followed. "Ah, here we are. This," I said gesturing to my 2000 Toyota Camery, "is my oldsmobile."

"I named him Gary," I grinned at Ken. He chuckled and gave a little shake of his head. "I swear, I'm not crazy. It just looked like a Gary."

"No, it's not that, it's…" Ken looked at me and gave a little half grin.

I quirked an eyebrow at him. "It's…?"

"Would you like to go out for coffee or dinner or something sometime with me?" he asked.

My mouth fell open for a second and then I think the biggest grin ever came across my face. "Was the original pyramid of Cheops four hundred and eighty one feet tall?"

He gave a mischievous grin. "Four hundred eighty feet and eleven inches. I'll pick you up Sunday at six if you like."

"Make it five thirty. I'm an early eater and we can see that new ninja movie out in theaters at seven thirty if we take our time talking."

He gave a little bow. "As you wish, m'lady."

I gave his shoulder a playful slap and wrote out my address and number for him. I got into my car and pulled out, watching him walk away backwards so he could watch me drive away. "Gary," I said to the steering wheel, "I freaking love Fridays." I found myself singing along with the silly romantic pop songs on the radio all the way home.

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><p>I had to tidy up the apartment a little before April came over that night. I've never been dirty, really, but I sometimes have the habit of letting the clutter pile up over time. Of course, the "over time" part depended on who you were and what qualified as "over time". Before my first marriage to Henry, "over time" meant over the period of a month. After he was done with me, over time meant longer than a few hours. I had gotten better with time. Now it was after a couple days. I still found myself scouring the apartment until it shone when I was worried about something though. Now I just did it without expecting someone to punch me in the face if I missed a spot.<p>

I was just setting up the TV when April came in. Her red hair was pulled back into two messy pigtails on either side of her head. She wore a pair of short shorts and a tank top with flip flop sandals. My hair, normally up in a bun, was down around my shoulders and I was wearing my flannel leopard-print pajamas and big fuzzy slippers. April lifted up a bag of take out and a two-liter of coke for me to see and put them in the kitchen. I gave a squeal of delight and followed her in, getting out cups for us to use.

"So, what's the choice film for tonight?" she asked, getting our food out of the bags.

"I'm voting for Overboard," I said, separating my order from hers. "Oooh, you got my favorite! Chicken and steak hibachi. With the extra pink sauce too."

April made a face. "I don't know how you can like that goop. It tastes funny."

"It tastes like God, only pink," I retorted.

April laughed and then started pouring drinks. "So what's with the movie choice? You only want to watch Overboard when you've got a date."

"That's riiiight," I said in a sing-song voice, grinning broadly.

"Uh-oh," April said, mischief in her voice. "Poor guy doesn't know what he's getting himself into.'' I flicked some of my fried rice at her, making her laugh again. "I gotta say, I'm really glad you didn't want pizza tonight."

"Nah, I ordered pizza a few nights ago. Why? I thought you liked pizza."

"I do, but not every night."

I looked over at her curiously and noticed she was biting her lip, as if she wished she hadn't said something. "What, is your stove broken or something? Have you suddenly started burning everything you cook? Is it some weird craving you-" My eyes widened dramatically at a sudden revelation. "Oh my god, you're pregnant! You have pizza cravings because you're pregnant!"

"I'm not pregnant!" April snapped, her face turning red. "It's just a bet Casey has going with some friends, that after a month of nothing but pizza he'll love it and not want to eat anything else."

I blanched. "For your sake, I really hope he wins that bet."

She snorted. "Yeah, me too. But," she continued as we grabbed our food and drinks and headed to the living room where the TV was, "even if he lost, I'd tell him tough luck and cook whatever the heck I wanted."

I nodded my approval and flopped down on the sofa, giving a hugely dramatic moan of ecstasy at my first bite of dinner.

April looked over at me amused. "Don't make that sound around your new guy, Irma. He'll get the wrong idea. At least," she corrected herself "not before the second date."

I rolled my eyes and turned the movie on. We had both seen it before so we were fine with occasionally making small talk, as long as there wasn't something dramatic happening on the movie.

"So," April said, not taking her eyes off the film, "what's with this guy? How'd you meet him? Is he cute?"

"He's gorgeous," I said taking another bite of food, also watching the screen. "And I met him a little bit after you came to ask me about that thing, actually. Oh, and you know what's weird? He wanted to know about that fruity goddess too." April, who had been taking a sip of her coke, started coughing violently. "Geeze, April, you okay?"

She coughed for a few more seconds and I started to whack her on the back, making her cough even more before she managed to push my hands away. She took a deep breath and looked at me. "The SAME thing? He asked for the exact SAME thing? Did he say what for?"

I was confused. April never got flustered like that- at least not without someone asking questions about her sex life. "He's a new art professor at the university. He just wanted pictures or something because he was going to mention it in his first lecture. I didn't think it was a big deal or anything. I just sent him the same stuff I sent you." I scanned her face for any hint as to why she was so upset. "Are you angry or something? I didn't think you would be. I'm sorry."

She shook her head. "No, it's not your fault, it's just not something that I… I didn't expect anyone else to have any interest in it."

"Is it because you think he might be competition in getting it if it shows up?" I frowned. "He's just an art professor. I'm sure he's no threat to your business or anything."

April sighed and sat back. "It's nothing, Irma. Don't worry about it. It's fine."

"Alright…" I said slowly, not really believing her. But I was hungry and I wanted to watch the movie and make comments, so when she asked "So how cute IS he?" I eagerly informed her of just how good looking he was, and then we both took equal delight in comparing him with Casey.

I've always said, you know you're best friends when you can compare your men's butts and laugh about it afterwards. Okay, not really, but I felt like it applied to this situation.

After the movie, she gave me advice about what to wear on the date, and I wished her luck on the rest of Pizza Month and promised I'd keep looking for information for her.

I thought it best if I didn't mention that I'd also be telling Ken too.

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><p>Reviews and constructive criticism are always helpful and let me know what kind of job I'm doing.<p> 


	3. Chapter Three

Special thanks to my great beta-readers, Colonel Pop, GoodGirlSmiles and Pita Fish. Thanks guys!

I don't own TMNT or any characters found therein. I DO however own Ken. Mmmmm…

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><p><strong>Chapter Three<strong>

I spent Sunday afternoon preparing for the date that evening, primping and mentally practicing small talk. For the date I put on a pair of adorable black heels, a yellow sleeveless summer dress and a little black cardigan sweater. I decided to let my hair stay down but pulled my bangs back with a hairclip that looked like a cheerful sunflower. I was thankful that it was in the early fall, so I could get away with wearing a little sweater.

At 5:30 I was waiting down in the hall, trying my best to look cute, but not _too_ cute, and mature, but not _too_ mature. I was busy trying to practice my flirty-but-not-_too_-flirty lines in my mind when I heard a wolf whistle behind me. I turned to see Ken standing there in a pair of jeans, a collared shirt, a jacket over it, and that impish grin of his. I gave a playful wink back to him and we walked outside arm in arm to his car, which was not at all what I was expecting.

"THIS is your car?" I said, gaping in shock at the sleek black Porsche in front of us.

"Careful, I think you dropped your jaw," Ken said jokingly.

I gestured towards the Porsche again. "That… is your car."

He raised an eyebrow at me as he walked to his side of the car. "You can even ride in it if you want. Or we can walk, but that's about four miles, so-"

I hurried to the passenger side of the car and opened the door, breathing in the scent of leather as I slid in slowly, luxuriating in the knowledge that I was getting to ride in a Porsche. "I think your car is worth more than I am. I'm afraid I'm going to ruin something in here." He shook his head and grinned as I continued to bask in the glory around me. "It's soooo neeeew and expensive!"

"I've had a trust fund set up for just this one baby for years." He patted the dashboard with fondness. "Since Freshman year at High School. Finally earned enough this summer. My one big birthday present to myself for the next twenty years." He glanced over at me as we got onto the road. "So, you like cars?"

"My ex used to have the cutest Volvo convertible. I used to love driving that thing around, but when we split, he got to keep the car. I still keep an eye out though."

He gave a playful derisive snort. "Volvos."

"Don't make me smack your arm with my purse here."

"What, that thing? It's tiny! You couldn't stun a toy poodle with it."

We bantered back and forth all the way to the restaurant, where we joked and flirted lightly through dinner. At a quarter to seven we decided to head out to the parking lot to his car so we could get to the movie on time. As he went for his wallet to pay for the meal though, he gave a frown and patted his pockets. "Damn it."

"What's wrong?" I asked.

"Nothing big, I just forgot my wallet in my car." He grumbled and shook his head. "What an amateur move."

I smiled reassuringly at him. "Don't worry about it. I can pay."

He held up a hand in protest. "No way! First date and all that. I mean, I guess you could pay me back later if you want." He got a goofy grin on his face and said "Wink, wink, nudge, nudge."

I did a mock face palm, but I didn't bother trying to hide my chuckles. Ken got up from the table with an assurance that he'd only be gone a minute at the most, so I sat back and enjoyed the rest of my drink and picked at the leftovers on my plate. I hummed along with the music that they were playing in the restaurant, but after I got through three songs I started worrying. I checked my watch and decided to wait another five minutes before I got out my debit card and paid for the meal myself.

I slid down in my seat a little and on a whim, looked out the window and saw a lovely view of the left side parking lot. Ken's car was on the other side, but I couldn't help the small spike of fear I felt when I saw three guys wearing black and very unhappy faces walking through the lot to the side where I knew the car was parked. They had jackets with big pockets and had their hands in them. _This does not bode well_, I thought to myself, and without another thought I quickly paid for the meal and hurried outside as quickly as I could, cell phone in hand to call the police if I had to.

There were muffled voices from where I was standing, and I decided that discretion was the better part of valor in this case. Making sure that I was safely hidden behind the side of the restaurant, I poked my around the corner to see-

Five men standing next to Ken and talking in… Well, I couldn't understand the language, but if I was hearing the tones and voices right, then they weren't happy campers. I reached for my cell phone in my purse, ready to dial 911 like there was no tomorrow. Then suddenly, they all seemed to come to some conclusion because the other men all suddenly turned to walk away. Ken stayed by the car looking growly, and so I stayed hidden for another minute until I saw him start to walk towards the restaurant. I decided to make things easier- I walked out from behind the building, trying to make my face look causal but concerned as I walked up to him.

"Hey, you okay?"

"Yeah, sure, I'm fine," he said, trying to pull a smile on. "What're you doing out here?"

"Well, it's just that you were gone almost twenty minutes and I got worried, so I paid and…"

"Aw, you didn't have to do that. But thanks anyway." He put an arm around my shoulder and we walked to his car. "I'm definitely paying for the movie and snacks though."

I nodded my consent and tried to put out the sight of him with those other guys from my mind. It wasn't my business, after all. I had no place asking him what he was doing with them. But at the same time… it was a little worrying. "I was afraid you were getting mugged or something," I said, trying to keep my voice light.

"Nope, just dropped my wallet where I couldn't find it. But I got it now, so it's fine."

"Alright," I said, and dropped the issue.

The rest of the night was great. We went to see a comedy which left us both cracking up (the ninja movie was full of obnoxious teenagers who kept texting through the whole thing), and when he dropped me off at my apartment, he escorted me to the front door where we stood for a moment.

"Tonight was really fun," he began.

"Yeah, I had a great time. Thanks so much for asking me," I replied.

"So…" he rocked back on his heels a little. "Would you… I mean, if you aren't too busy…"

"I'd love to have another night out with you." I wasn't sure if he had planned on being the one to initiate the kiss, but I decided that I might as well, and I stood on my toes to manage to place a brief kiss on his lips. From the look on his face when I stood back, it wasn't half bad, despite its brevity. "So, I guess just stop by the library and we can talk about what we wanna do."

He had a goofy grin on his face as he watched me. "Uh-huh…"

I gave him a little wave and walked inside, not bothering to hide my own grin.

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><p>There was a message waiting on my answering machine for me when I got out of my shower. I was wearing the flannel pajamas from the night before and I had my hair up in a towel so I didn't get them wet. I put my glasses on and pressed the Play button on the machine so I could listen to the message as I did some dishes.<p>

"_Hey Irma, its April. I was just calling to get some gossip on how your date went, and to also ask you if you could find me any books on this guy named Kaizo Shizumi. Apparently he worked on something that could be what I'm looking for. Thanks a lot. So, yeah, just give me a call back whenever and I'll talk to you lat- MIKEY! Don't touch tha-"_ There was a loud crash and someone swore before the message cut off.

I gave my phone a quizzical look. "The heck was that about?" But I shrugged and went back to washing, making a mental note of looking up anything specifically on Kaizo Shushi. I had a weird feeling on the back of my neck- where I always got my weird feelings- but I pushed it aside in favor of basking in the awesome date I had.

Maybe I'll do some reading on this artist myself, I thought. After all, wouldn't hurt me to become more cultured. Also I could surprise Ken with the fact that I knew something artsy. Pleased with my own cleverness, I decided to start right away and pulled out my laptop to find out more about this guy.

Initial searches didn't pull up much- just basic info. He was a guy who lived a long time ago, was never really popular, and supposedly died young. None of his works were big enough to be found just by doing a google search. _No wonder they need me_, I thought to myself. _A university information base really would be the only source of info on this thing._

I shrugged and went to bed after a couple hours of surfing the web, feeling excited for a new day.

* * *

><p>The library was quiet that day, so I spent most of it doing intense searches for the Sushi guy April asked me to look for. I was hoping a certain handsome professor would show up too- I had picked my outfit out with him in mind. A green flared skirt, green button down vest, white blouse with long loose sleeves, green strappy heels, white headband, and gold earrings and necklace. All in all, I thought I looked pretty damn good that morning. I even wore my hair down. But he never did show up. I was pretty disappointed, but I realized that he probably had professor-y things that he needed to do. So I just kept myself occupied with looking up the info.<p>

I came across something interesting in one of the academic journal articles that I was glancing over while I was eating some soup at my desk (we librarians had a code about this- don't slurp, don't tell) when I noticed that it mentioned that although he wasn't too well known for his paintings, he was actually one of the first inventors of the classic Puzzle Box- the kind that you had to slide panels around to get it open. Now that was neat. I loved puzzles myself. I decided to follow that lead a bit more and eventually found some stuff specifically on Shizumi and his puzzle boxes. It was actually really cool. He had made several for famous Japanese figures at the time, including a couple generals whose names I didn't recognize. Apparently he made his boxes so tricky that he put a prize on the inside for when you actually managed to open them. A fun birthday gift, I mused to myself.

On a whim, I decided to see whether they still made any of these boxes. I was lucky enough to come across a whole website dedicated to following Shizumi's box puzzle tradition, complete with prizes on the inside. With a grin, I put down an order for one. As I said before, I love puzzles. And once I managed to open it I could just use it as a fun jewelry box. _See if any thieves can get to my diamond earrings through that_, I grinned to myself.

I kept browsing through the site to see if there was anything else cool when I noticed a tab that said "About the original artist". I eagerly clicked it.

_Kaizo Shizumi was a Japanese artist and inventor who is thought to have lived in the early Sixth Century BC. Although he never became popular for his artwork, his puzzle boxes were well known throughout the nobility at the time. Wealthier members of society would commission boxes from him for what would sometimes be exorbitant prices with the hopes of impressing their peers with the intricacy of his designs. _

_Not only would they be very detailed in design and decoration, they would also often have gifts of valuable natures inside of them, usually jewelry or fans for women or daggers and other small weapons for men. _

_They fell out of popularity about twenty years after they surfaced when a daimyo (a noble lord) gave a very complicated box to a very impatient Emperor who took it as an insult to his intelligence when he could not figure out how to open the box himself. Shizumi and the daimyo were subsequently imprisoned and are believed to have been executed shortly afterwards, although due to lack of information available at that time, this cannot be verified. _

_However, there is a popular legend regarding Shizumi's supposed escape. It is said that the goddess Seiobo, the Queen Mother of the West in Japanese mythology, rescued him and offered to give him one of her fabled peaches of immortality if he would construct his greatest puzzle for her, so that she could store her peaches safely and not worry about them being stolen from her. He agreed, and constructed a box so clever and complex that he had to show the goddess five times how to operate it successfully. Convinced that her peaches would be safe, she gave Shizumi one of them and allowed him to return to earth, where he traveled the world admiring the art of all people._

I read the information excitedly, enraptured by it. This sounded very close to what April might be looking for. I stopped suddenly and then started laughing. THIS was what April was looking for? "Yeah, right," I snorted to myself. "You might as well look for the Holy Grail or something." But I forwarded the link to her anyway. Who knew, maybe it actually would help her. "Or maybe it'll help her realize her client is a crackpot."

Either way, I didn't really care that much. I had my puzzle box and I was looking forward to seeing what was inside.

* * *

><p>*Author's Note- Puzzle Boxes didn't come into prominence until the 19th century in Japan, but for the purposes of this story, I decided to use Author's License for plot.<p>

Next chapter should be fun. STUFF starts happening then. Hmmmm…


	4. Chapter Four

Special thanks, as always, to my beta-readers Colonel Pop, GoodGirlSmiles and Pita Fish. Also thanks to my reviewers. I hope you like this chapter too!

I have no claim on anything TMNT. I'm just borrowing the characters for personal delight.

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><p><strong>Chapter Four<strong>

A couple weeks after I e-mailed the link to April, I still hadn't seen or heard from Professor Now-Seriously-On-My-Bad-List. If it weren't for the fact that I had the hots for him, I would totally have written him off altogether.

Other than a Thank-You cookie basket from April, I hadn't heard from her either. That wasn't so surprising though. I just assumed that she was on another one of her adventures in some far-flung corner of the world. I wasn't too upset about it though. My first puzzle box came in a few days after I ordered it, and it was just as challenging as advertised. I found myself taking it to work with me so I could fiddle with it when no one was looking, and since it was a library, that was fairly often.

I finished the first box in a week, and when I finally got it open I was delighted to find a pair of earrings. They were dangly rhinestone ones that glittered very prettily, and I adored them, even if they were orange and I'd have to get a new top and shoes to go with it. Of course, maybe that's why I loved them so much- an excuse to go shopping.

I had ordered two more from the website (they had a sale going on), both of them increasingly difficult since I had ordered them from the medium section. They were very useful since it distracted me from my irritation at my errant beau and best friend. _See if I ever help THEM again_, I groused to myself as I carefully slid one square on the box to the left and heard a small 'click'. I gave a small cheer of victory and then put my head down to the level of my desk so I could carefully watch how the designs of the box could be moved and switched and turned and-

"Hi there."

I jumped back from the box with a scream of terror and my chair which had wheels on the bottom slid away from under me from the force of my movements. I fell clumsily to the floor behind the desk and quickly tried to stand up, slipping again on the carpet. "What the HELL?" I screeched as I jumped up to see…

Ken bent over double laughing so hard I thought he was going to cough up a lung. He looked like he was about to fall onto the floor with how much his body shook from his guffaws. "Shut up!" I snapped at him. "You jerk! What were you thinking, sneaking up on me like that! You almost gave me cardiac arrest, you twit!" He paid no attention to this and just kept laughing. I walked over to him and slapped his shoulder. He instantly stopped laughing and gave a small cry of pain.

My eyes widened and I jumped back. I didn't notice it before because he was falling all over himself cackling, but he had only the left arm in his jacket and his right arm was tucked over a sling. "Oh my gosh! I-I didn't see that! I'm so sorry!"

He shook his head. "No, no, it's my fault. I'm sorry. I meant to say something, but then you just… and then you… bwahaha!" His attempt at keeping a straight face failed miserably and I found myself with a laughing loon on my hands once more. But then again, it _was_ kind of funny once I thought about it. I felt a grin creeping up onto my face and when I got a good look at how hard he was biting his lip to keep from busting out, I couldn't help but start to chortle along with him.

After a few minutes (during which time we couldn't look at each other or else we'd fall out laughing again) we calmed down and took a few deep breaths.

"Okay… phew…" I focused on my Inner Peace thing, whatever the hell that was, and then looked over at Ken who was doing the same thing. "Alright…. It's obvious that whatever you've been doing these past few weeks, it hasn't been too pleasant. So… What _were_ you doing?"

Ken grimaced. '"Yeah, I'm sure I look great with this thing on." He motioned to his sling with his good hand. "I really did mean to call you about that second date, but…"

"Hmm, I can guess." I shook my head and sighed dramatically. "I suppose I can forgive you this time. And don't think I didn't notice that you avoided my question."

Ken gave me a dark smile. I don't mean a smile like a I-don't-like-you-and-so-this-smile-means-I'm-mentally-killing-you-and-just-pretending-you're-great kind of dark. I mean a dark kind of smile like he was thinking of something violently bloody, and actually enjoyed the thought. It was… pretty scary. "Don't worry," he told me. "The ones that did this ended up much worse than me."

I blinked. "Well… Okay then. That's… something."

He chuckled, the darkness clearing away. "That's something indeed. Oh!" He snapped his fingers and reached inside his pocket and pulled out a small black, flat box. I got you something to thank you for all your help with my project. I know you have better things to do that humor some wacky art professor, but…"

Curiosity always was a weakness of mine. I gingerly picked up the little black container, opening it and…

A huge gasp flew through my mouth and I involuntarily pressed a hand against my chest. "KEN! Oh my god, they're beautiful!"

There, sitting on white, was a pair of perfect black pearl earrings. They shone in the light and for a moment a giddy feeling spread around inside me. But then it died as my Mental Mother stomped on the giddiness.

Sadly, I shook my head and pushed it back towards him. His face, which had been suffused with pleasure before became confused. "What's wrong? I thought you said you liked them."

"Ken. They're pearls. _Pearls_. Not cubic zirconia, not gold plated, but actual black pearls. I can't accept these! It's too extravagant! It's too much. I was doing you a favor. You don't repay favors. I mean, for God's sake, they're pearls!" I was no expert in pearls, but I knew that they weren't cheap.

Ken shook his head and pushed them back towards me. "I promise you, they weren't anything I couldn't afford. Plus you've helped me a lot, and I also needed to make up for not talking to you for two weeks. Please, take them."

Hesitantly, I pulled my hand back and looked at the pearls again. They were beautiful. I glanced up at him, still uncertain. "You're positive?"

He nodded. "Absolutely. Besides, even if I did take them back, what would I do with them?"

"Fair enough." Without another word I pulled out the earrings I was wearing and carefully put the pearls in and turned to Ken. "I don't have a mirror. How do they look?"

"Fantastic." Without another word he walked up to me and kissed me on the lips before pulling back. He saw my face begin to blush and smirked. "So, whatcha doing Saturday?"

* * *

><p>Later on in the day (after my squeals of girlish delight were well and done with) I headed home with a spring in my step and a tune on my lips. I went up to my apartment and changed into a pair of exercise shorts, a tank-top and my poofy pink slippers. My ensemble was finished with my hair hastily put up in a messy bun. I was planning on spending a quiet evening at my apartment when the phone rang. I picked up and wedged it between my shoulder and my cheek as I was washing folding laundry at the time. "Hello?"<p>

"_Irma? It's Casey." _The voice of April's boyfriend sounded even more wound up that it usually did. And that was something.

"Oh, hey, Casey! Been a while, huh? How've you-"

"_Irma, I'm really sorry, but this is an emergency. And I mean a real one, not the-fridge-is-broken kinda thing."_

I immediately dropped the laundry. "What's wrong? What's happened?"

"_April's been in an accident. She's in the hospital, and she's doing fine, but I need to go down to the police station to file a report. I don't want to leave her alone in a strange place while she's hurt."_

"Do you want me to come down and sit with her for a while?"

"_You read my mind. Only I don't know how long this is going to take."_

"I'll sit with her as long as you need me to, don't worry."

I could almost feel his relief over the phone. _"Thanks so much, Germ. I really, really, really appreciate it."_

"Well, you and April need me, so I don't mind. I'll even forgive you using that horrible nickname."

"_Yeah, yeah. I'll try to get done with the report as soon as I can."_

"Okay. But, Casey…" My voice trailed off. I didn't know how to phrase my next question without coming off as a world-class bitch. "Um… How… How bad is it?"

"_Don't worry, Germ. It's nothing permanent. I'm sure they've cleaned her up. You won't see any blood or nothing."_

I gave a sigh of relief. To anyone else, I would have come off as a total brat, but they knew me and my history. Neither April nor Casey minded it. He told me the address of the hospital she was at. I knew the one he was talking about. "I'll be there in ten minutes," I told him.

As soon as I hung up, I grabbed my purse, my keys, traded in my slippers for a pair of flip-flop sandals, grabbed a light sweater, and rushed out the door. I shrugged my sweater on as I was in the elevator and I barely took the time to fasten my seatbelt as I drove to the hospital in a rush. I honestly don't know how I managed to get there without ending up in a car crash, but I did. As soon as I got there, I went to the desk and hurried up to where they said April was staying.

I stopped right outside the hospital room door. "Come on, Irma, you can do this," I coached myself. "You'll be fine. This is your friend. You can do this." With a deep breath, I pulled the door open and felt my breath hitch.

April was laying on a hospital bed, IV drip in her arm, bandages on her arms and cheek, a big, black bruise on her right eye. Casey was sitting next to her, holding her hand and looking like his entire life and world was collapsing in front of him. He turned to me when he saw me come in and gave a wobbly grin. "H-hey," he said.

"Hey yourself," I responded softly, and went to stand by his side. We were both silent for a moment. "Don't worry, Casey," I said quietly. "She's stronger than both of us combined. She'll be alright. I promise."

"Yeah… yeah, you're right." He gave himself a little shake and then stood up. "Okay, I have to go to the police station now. Call me if anything happens."

"I will, I promise."

With a nod, he was gone. I sat down in the chair that he had occupied only moments before and stared at the woman in front of me. I sniffed. Then I sniffed again. I mentally braced myself against it- I hated when it happened- but I suddenly couldn't help from bursting into tears as I took my friend's hand in mine and cried over her.

* * *

><p>April woke up about a half hour later. She instantly noticed my red eyes and stuffy nose of course and scolded me for it.<p>

"Really, Irma, I'm perfectly fine. This is nothing. I've been through much worse, trust me."

"Oh, that inspires so much confidence," I muttered. "How the heck does this stuff happen to you anyway? I swear, every other time I see you, you have a new bruise or cut or something."

"It's all-"

"-part of the job." We said the last part together and we shared a chuckle, although she winced when she did. "Ooh, my ribs."

I stood up to help her sit back in bed so she wouldn't mess up one of her bandages or something, and I pulled my chair closer to her bed. "You know, if you avoided explosives, you probably wouldn't be in this situation right now." I referred to the fireworks that I was told she set off while in a warehouse. She hadn't been aware that they were there, and in her rush to escape she fell down into a crate full of weights, which accounted for her present state.

She grinned at me. "What, lose the booms and the bangs and the bright flashes and the deafening noise? Where's your sense of adventure?"

"Wherever your eyebrows are," I said dryly.

With a gasp, April's good hand flew up to her eyebrows to find that they were indeed gone. "Oh my GOD!"

"See, THIS is why most people avoid those things. They wreak havoc with hair and brows. Fire does that, you know."

"Oh my god…" she whispered in shock again.

Rolling my eyes, I pulled out some magazines and put one on her lap. "You could do like they do in some Latin American countries. You know, tattoo eyebrows on."

She shot me a dirty look, but it was hard to take seriously when she was missing her eyebrows and her hair was singed. "So," I said causally, "was it really an explosion gone wrong?"

"Yeah." She leaned back into her pillows. "Of course, it wasn't ours, so maybe it went right."

My eyebrows shot up. "What do you mean, it wasn't yours?"

"Nothing. I'm delirious. Pain medication has made me loopy. I don't know anything that I'm talking about."

"Uh-huh… Riiight…" I said. But I shook my head and decided to let it go anyway. That was probably why she liked me so much. I could tell when top let something go and when to pursue it. "Casey is at the police station. He said he'd be back as soon as he made his report."

April froze in bed. "He did, did he?"

Her voice had me looking up from my magazine. The expression on her face was completely terrifying. "Umm… April… you're supposed to go to the police for things like this. Really. It's kind of a law."

She paid no attention to me whatsoever and then sat back with a sigh. "Irma, you might as well go home. He's not coming back here tonight."

"Huh? What do you mean?"

April shook her head. "He's not at the police station, and he's not coming back tonight."

"Then what the hell IS he doing?" My mind froze suddenly and I could feel myself start turning into a female version of the Hulk as a very disturbing and infuriating thought started to drift through my mind. "April… He wouldn't… He's not… Is he?"

"No, Irma, he is not off looking for some girl to hook up with for the night. He's a complete and total idiot at times, but he would never do something like that to me."

My Hulk-Rage was slowly going down. "Okay. Well. That's good then… So… what is he doing?"

Her voice made the hairs at the back of my neck stand up. "Something he's going to regret very deeply when he shows up again." She turned to look at me, and I noticed for the first time how very tired she looked, and how pale she was. "Just go home, Irma. I'll still be here tomorrow. Go get a good night's sleep."

I shook my head. "I told him I'd stay here until he came back and I will. I'll stay the night if I have to." April opened her mouth to protest but I flung my hand up with an overly dramatic flair. "Talk to the hand, betch."

She started laughing and wheezing at once, clutching her stomach as she tried to keep herself from moving too much with laughter. "Geeze, Irma! I'm more worried about you bruising my kidneys with your humor than I am about hurting my bruised ribs further!"

"Mwahaha! My fiendish plot is working!"

"I'm really starting to wish you'd go home and leave me in peace."

"You're not fooling anyone, you know. I know that you know that I know that you really love me."

* * *

><p>April managed to keep her eyes open for another hour before they started to drift closed again. The doctors who came in to check on her offered to bring in a bed for me since I was staying, but I told them that the chair was comfortable. I read my magazines that I had brought with me and when I got bored with that, I went back to work on my puzzle box. This distracted me for another couple hours until my stomach started to growl. I debated briefly with myself on whether or not I should go down to the caf to get some food, and then decided that I would just use the snack machine I had seen in the lounge on that floor. I stood as quietly as I could and crept out the door, bringing only a couple dollars with me for a can of soda and some M&amp;M's.<p>

After I got my snacks, I headed back to the room. I froze outside it for the second time that night as I heard a weird sound inside. It sounded like… Without a second thought, I flung open the door and turned on the lights to find a man (at least, I assumed it was a man) wearing a black body suit and mask holding a dagger above the still-sleeping April's chest. The man and I stared at each other for just a moment, and then I did what any red-blooded American woman would do in that situation.

I gave a scream so deafening it would have made a rocket ship taking off into outer space jealous. If I hadn't been so terrified at that moment, I would have been proud at being loud enough to probably be heard within a five mile radius.

Unfortunately, this was not appreciated by the person with the knife. He said something that did not sound happy, and he raised his weapon to stab April. Without thinking, I hurled my can of coke at his head and it him right in the eye. He gave a cry of pain and fell back. I stood shocked for a moment; I really hadn't believed that that would actually WORK.

My amazement at my new-found chucking skills were cut short when suddenly someone turned the lights back off and grabbed me from behind while also covering my mouth with his hand. Acting on pure instinct, I bit down HARD and kicked him as well as I could since he was standing behind me. But I must have hit something sensitive, because he gave a groan and keeled over. That still left coke-head though; he was now sporting a huge black eye and looked even more pissed off than before. He decided to leave April alone for the moment and leapt at my throat. With another eardrum-blowing scream, I dodged him and ran around to the other side of April's bed, only to be grabbed by someone coming through the window. The man who had grabbed me hit me hard on my head with something metal and shoved me to the floor, where I lay in a heap, gasping at the pain and wondering when the stars behind my eyes would go away.

I squeezed my eyes shut and hoped that whatever happened, they'd kill me too. There was no way I could look Casey in the face after they killed April.

I had just resigned myself to my fate when I suddenly heard another commotion- it sounded like someone just crashed through the window (this part I didn't really understand because the window was already open)- I was hearing more ninja cries, but these weren't like the ones who were trying to hurt myself and April. Forcing myself to open my eyes, I saw the strangest thing I had ever seen before in my entire twenty something (a-ha, thought you were going to get me, didn't you?) life.

There, battling the men in the suits, were two figures that looked like…

"… Giant turtles?"

One of them grabbed the man that had been trying to hurt April and tossed him out the window. "Enjoy your flight!" he called after the man cheerfully.

"Not the time, Mikey!" said the other one, his voice focused. With one swift movement, he also dispatched the other man out the window as well and then quickly turned to April, who, somehow, had managed to sleep through the whole thing. He sighed and shook his head. "She can't stay here. I'll take the IV out, you make sure the coast is clear." The giant turtle began to unhook her from the machines next to her bed, while the other hopped out the window that they had smashed upon entry.

My head hurt. I felt half blind, and something was buzzing to loudly. I felt like I was going to be sick. But I couldn't just let them take her. I slowly got on my hands and knees and crawled towards the strange figure. "P-please…" I managed to croak out. He jumped a little and turned to me. I couldn't see his expression, but I could tell that he was surprised. "D… D… don't… promised… I…" And without another word I started throwing up onto the floor. The next thing I knew I was on my back gasping for air and fighting back tears of pain while someone was lifting me up gently. "Easy, Mikey," were the last words I heard before I drifted off into darkness.

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><p>Woohoo! The guys make an entrance. And a cliffhanger too!<p>

Reviews are delightful and appreciated, as is constructive criticism.


	5. Chapter Five

A special shout-out to my beta readers again. Thanks for everything!

TMNT does not in any way, shape or form belong to me. Shame.

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><p><strong>Chapter Five<strong>

I drifted in and out for a while. I couldn't tell what was actually happening and what I was dreaming. Vague shapes drifted around me. I saw stone walls, heard water running, felt strong arms holding me, but then at other times I saw pink bunnies racing around in golf carts.

"Bunnies… are not… normal…" I could hear myself saying at one point, trying to banish the fuzz balls from my brain.

The green shape holding me looked down with a very wide grin with very white teeth. "Naw, they are, just not down here."

"Feel sick."

"Yeah, concussions are pretty sucky like that. But don't worry, we'll have you back to your usual radical self in no time!"

Just then something jostled my head and I could feel the bile rising to my mouth. "Hurk!" was the only warning I gave, but luckily, whoever or whatever was holding me knew what I wanted and set me down softly onto my knees. I could feel large, thick fingers gently holding my hair back as I threw up onto the concrete floor.

"Dude, Donny, she doesn't look so good."

"We'll be home soon. As long as she's not vomiting up blood, we'll be okay."

"You sure we should have brought her? I mean, we were IN a hospital."

"And whoever attacked them would have known who to look for. She'd be dead by now and we both know it."

"M'not dead," I said, as loudly as I could, but it came out as a raspy kind of whimper.

A large hand patted my back. "We know, dudette. It's gonna stay that way."

"G-good," I whispered. "I'm tired."

The strong arms came around me once more and I found myself curling up against something hard and cold but solid and real. I drifted off again.

* * *

><p>The next time I opened my eyes, I was lying on a small but comfortable cot in a strange room. There was a blanket covering me and my head was propped up on some pillows. I blinked a few times sluggishly and then looked around at my surroundings.<p>

Wherever I was, the walls were made of brick or stone or something, with no windows. The air felt a little stale down here, and everything in the room looked a bit like it had been salvaged from somewhere. I noticed April lying not too far away in a cot of her own. She looked no worse for wear, but I couldn't have been a good judge of that, seeing as how I probably had a concussion. I saw that that the room was full of medical equipment as well- one wall had what looked like an operating table on it, and next to that sat a large freezer and a big box full of what I assumed were medical tools.

Sudden images from Texas Chainsaw Massacre went through my mind and I squeezed my eyes shut, cursing that stupid movie that kept me up for a week and gave me nightmares for a month. "God, I hate that movie…"

"Hate what movie?"

My eyes shot open again to see one of the figures that had saved me the night before. I blinked a few times, trying to clear away what I could only assume was the after-effects of the blow to my head, but every time I opened my eyes- No, it was still the same.

A great big humanoid turtle complete with shell and wearing a purple bandana- wait a second, purple bandana?

"Why a purple bandana?" I muttered myself, still staring at him. "Might as well be a tux. Oh, my head…" I squeezed my eyes shut.

I heard the turtle move across the room and I felt something soft, cold and wet press onto my forehead.

"There we go… As for your question, I like purple and it's hard to get into a tux. They don't exactly make turtle-friendly sizes."

"You can't be a turtle," I said weakly. "There's just no way."

"Normally I'd agree with you, but seeing as how that's what I am, there's just no way for me to deny it." I opened my eyes to look up, and sure enough, the turtle with the purple bandana was still there, holding a cool compress to my head and smiling at me. "But at least you aren't screaming. That's what April did when she found out." He nodded towards her. "Screamed like I don't know what. But you could give her a run for her money. Your scream could be an alarm or something, you were that loud."

I let my eyes drift closed again and lay my head back down into the pillows. "Hurts to scream right now. Don't have the energy to freak out."

I heard him chuckle. "Just as well. It echoes down here."

"M-hmm…" And that was the last thing I had to say about that before I fell asleep again.

* * *

><p>I woke up later feeling much better. My head wasn't throbbing and I could see and think clearly again. Still, there was no reason to rush it. I sat up in the cot slowly and then pressed my fingers on the spot I had been hit carefully. It stung a little, but it didn't feel like someone was putting a jackhammer to my skull anymore.<p>

Moving so that I was sitting Indian-style, I examined my surroundings again. The scenery hadn't changed- stone is pretty permanent- and no new windows had popped up. This both relieved and upset me. I was relieved because it meant that I must not have been hallucinating that badly before, but it disturbed me because it meant that I had no idea where I was and that I had indeed seen a giant walking turtle the night before. Or was it the day before? I realized suddenly that I had no earthly clue what time it was.

Looking over at where April had been sleeping before, I saw that the cot was empty. This was alarming- I had no idea where she went. But I could hear something that sounded like pots and pans being rattled around from behind the door to the room, and also voices.

"Well, hopefully they didn't eat her and aren't planning on doing the same to me." With that cheery thought, I looked around for my shoes. I spotted my flip flops by the door and got up slowly in case I felt dizzy or something, but I didn't fall backwards or start throwing up last week's lunch, so I figured I was safe. I walked over to my shoes, noticing how the floor, although cement and not what I would have expected, was at least clean and didn't have anything like shards of broken glass.

Putting my shoes on, I slowly opened the door, hoping that nothing was going to fly out at me. Nothing happened, but I could now clearly hear the ruckus going on outside. The clangs and bangs I had heard earlier and assumed were someone cooking was actually someone hurling things at someone else. The voices that I had thought were people talking was actually one person talking and one person screaming. As I listened closer, I noticed that the voices were familiar.

"How could you DO that to me? You just ran off to play vigilante and LEFT me there! Do you have any idea how scared I was for you?" Yep, that was April.

"What was I supposed to do, April? Ignore whoever planted that bomb there? You were almost KILLED! I almost LOST you! I couldn't just sit there doing nothing!" And that would be Casey.

"Oh, of course not! That would be asking too much! God forbid that you do something FOR ME for once!"

"I do EVERYTHING for you! I ran out there to kill those guys for you! How can you stand there and-"

"Look, April," an unfamiliar voice with a Brooklyn accent started to talk. "It was my idea, okay? He didn't mean to-"

"Oh, shut up, Raphael! Don't cover for him! I'm this close to creaming you too!"

"Don't take it out on him!" Casey's voice carried angrily. "We were trying to help you!"

"Oh, really? OH, REALLY? And what about Irma then, Casey? What about Irma? She's lying in there with a concussion because she had to protect me against whoever those bastards were! YOU should have been the one there! You should- you should have…" April's voice started to hitch and I knew that was my cue. She hated crying.

Putting a hand to my head in a dramatic way I staggered out of the makeshift nurse's office and walked towards the argument. I noted with a bit of pride that as three faces swung towards me, they all looked a bit shocked. I decided to chalk it up to the fact that I probably looked pale and in pain, and not a mess that hadn't seen the light of day in a week. The other stranger talking was- surprise, surprise- another turtle, this one with a red bandana. He eyed me warily as I came forward towards him.

They all stood around a table, Casey wearing the same outfit he had worn last night, and April with a pair of jeans and a t-shirt that she hadn't been wearing before, since I was fairly certain she had been in one of those horrible hospital gowns. Making sure to keep a hand to my head, I walked right next to the turtle and looked down at his hands where he was gripping a chair. I noticed he had two fingers. Three if you wanted to include the thumb.

"I believe that I can speak for myself, thank you all very much. And I'll take that," I said as I pulled the chair away from the red turtle and sat down. I was kind of impressing myself with my bravado. "Ow…" I winced as I accidentally sat down too fast, jostling my head. April and Casey came towards me but I held up the hand that wasn't clutching my head warningly. I slowly took my other hand away from my head and folded them nicely in front of me, like a student at a desk. I tried to ignore the gasp from April. _Must look worse than I feel_, I thought to myself.

"Now… Let's pretend for a moment that I do not look like I've been chewed up and spit out of a dog's mouth," I began pleasantly. April and Casey exchanged worried glances and I noticed Casey making a subtle gesture for the turtle, Raphael, to run. It was a good idea. They knew what was going to come next. He had no idea. "And let us also pretend, for a moment, that I have not been manhandled, beaten, bruised, given a concussion, not to mention haven woken up in a strange place with kind, but definitely out of the ordinary hosts." I paused for a moment and slowly looked between my two friends. I then continued, my voice still sweet and calm. "That still leaves the question of WHAT THE HELL WERE YOU TWO DOING?" My voice, so tranquil before, now suddenly exploded on the volume level, fully conveying the force of my outrage. I noted with some satisfaction how they both winced. But I wasn't done with my tirade yet.

"BOMBS?" I shouted at April.

"DEATH THREATS?" I yelled at Casey.

"ASSASSINS?" I screeched at both of them. "WHAT THE FRIG IS WRONG WITH YOU TWO? WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU THINKING? WHAT HAVE YOU BEEN DOING? WHY ARE THERE PEOPLE OUT THERE TRYING TO KILL YOU? WHY ARE YOU MESSING AROUND WITH PEOPLE WHO WOULD EVEN _WANT_ TO KILL YOU? ARE YOU INSANE? DID SOMEONE PERFOM A LOBOTOMY ON YOU TWO AND YOU JUST FORGOT? AND WHERE ARE WE? WHY ARE WE HERE? AND WHY ARE THERE GIGANTIC MUNTANT TURTLES HERE?"

"You forgot to put Ninja in there," said a voice behind me. I whipped around in my chair to see not one, not two, but four talking, walking turtles. One of them wore orange, one red (he didn't look happy), one purple (that one I knew) and one blue. The blue one was the one that spoke. Oh, and there was a giant rat leaning on a cane standing with them. I could feel my eyes getting wide as dinner saucers. My mouth hung open. I gave a small squeak and then I felt myself falling over.

I woke up again about a minute later. The cold compress was back on my head, April and Casey were sitting at the table looking at each other angrily, the four turtles were standing around the table too, and sitting next to me was-

"Ah, I see you are awake again, child." The rat.

I sucked in a breath of air and leaned back, staring at him. I made a few choking sounds. I looked at my two human friends and pointed at him. "Huursm…" I pointed at the turtles. "Ehfiy…" I dropped my hand and said "Ahhhhuck!"

"How eloquent," muttered the red one. The blue one jabbed him in the arm.

April explained. "That is Master Splinter," she began, gesturing to the rat. "The blue on is Leonardo-"

"Leo," offered Casey helpfully.

"The red one is Raphael-"

"Raph."

"- the orange one is Michelangelo-"

"Mikey."

"-and the purple one is Donatello."

"Or Donny."

Once the introductions were done they all just sat there in silence and stared at me. I opened my mouth to say something. Then I closed it. Opened. Closed.

Finally, I said the only thing that could come to my mind. "My name is Irma." I pointed at Casey in what I hoped was a threatening manner. "You tell them that stupid nickname you gave me and I will _strangle_ you."

* * *

><p>The next hour or so was spent explaining things to me. Master Splinter spoke softly and calmly, answering my questions and relaying everything that had happened to him and his 'sons' over the last few years. With a few interjections from the four turtles, the stories were pieced together until everything was clarified and made sense of. The ninja master from Japan, the chemicals that turned them all into what they were today, the training they had, and the adventures they had been on.<p>

To be honest, if I hadn't seen the turtles and Splinter with my own two eyes, I never would have believed it. It was just too far-fetched. But… my gaze wandered around the cave, taking in the four brothers who were now going about and doing their own things, then back to their wise master. I admitted to myself that the rat part was still not exactly a huge plus for me, but I felt like it was impossible to do anything but respect the creature sitting in front of me. He just seemed to radiate peace and wisdom. I was kind of jealous.

But it was still a lot to absorb. Once the story was done, I took a deep breath and put my head between my hands, taking deep breaths. "One… two… three… "

"What's she doin'?" I heard the Red one (Raph, I corrected myself mentally).

"She's calming herself down," April responded tersely.

"Four… five… six…"

"Does she, like, do this a lot?"

"Seven… eight…"

"No, Mikey. This is one of those weird moments though."

"Nine… ten." I sat up and took another deep breath before looking around at everyone. Then I pointed a finger at the orange and purple ones. "You two… Michelangelo and… Donatello?"

They grinned at me. "Mikey and Don are easier, dudette," said Mikey.

"Right, well… Thank you both very much for saving my life and bringing me here. I'm pretty sure that if you guys had left me at the hospital, I wouldn't be here now. So, thanks."

The beamed at me. "No trouble at all," said Donny brightly.

I turned to the r- to Master Splinter and nodded my head at him. "Thank you very much for offering your hospitality to me and your help, but I need to be getting back now."

"Actually…" the one called Leonardo spoke up, "I don't think you should leave for at least a couple days." My head shot up to look him straight in the eyes. Whatever he saw in my face must not have been too pleasant because he suddenly looked a little nervous. "Well… It's just… you see… Well, the people who tried to kill you and April are still out and looking for you. We've done some recon for a few days and we think that people are after April and Casey. Now that you've been seen, they'll be after you too. It's just not safe for you guys to go back yet."

I was completely silent for a moment. Then I slowly pushed back my chair and stood. "Please excuse me for a moment." Without looking at any of them, I walked back to my little cot-bed and picked up a pillow. Taking yet another deep breath, I then stuffed my face into the cushion and let loose a very muffled but still blood-curdling scream of rage and frustration. After a few seconds of this, I then dropped the pillow, tried to smooth my hair back, and then rejoined everyone back in the kitchen. April and Casey looked worried. Master Splinter looked slightly nonplussed. The four turtles had different expressions of fear on their faces, ranging from "This is slightly worrying" to "Holy God, this woman is batshit crazy."

"You scream a lot," observed Raph.

"You would too if something like this happened to you!" I shouted at him.

Splinter held up a hand and stood to his feet to stand in front of me. "Miss Langinstien," I guessed that April had told him my name, "it is apparent that this has understandably come as something of a surprise to you. Perhaps you and April should have a talk, and then a refreshing bath and tea."

I blushed deeply then, realizing that I must have looked like something that crawled out from under a rock and died. "Thank you, Mr. Splinter," I said. "But I don't have any other… that is to say, I don't have any-"

"You can borrow some of my clothes, Irma," offered April. "I keep some down here in case of emergencies." Since we wore the same size, I nodded my head, and without another word, she gently led me away down another hallway to what I could only assume and hope was a bathroom.

I caught the words "Well, that was fun," as we walked away, followed by the sound of someone being smacked over the head.

* * *

><p>Ah, it's always fun meeting the turtles for the first time. I thought Irma handled it pretty well.<p>

While it's always nice to see that people have added my story to their update alert list, and even more so to their favorite stories list, reviews are a really great way of getting the author motivated. Hint, hint.

Constructive criticism and comments are greatly appreciated. Thanks!


	6. Chapter Six

This is the longest chapter in the story so far, but I kind of like it. It's a bonding chapter. I hope it's as pleasant to read as it was to write.

Big shout-out to my beta-readers, especially Colonel Pop who's stayed with me through the writer's block and the actual writing.

TMNT is not mine. If it were, there'd be more Irma.

* * *

><p><strong>Chapter Six<strong>

April led me to a bathroom with a tub that was shielded from general viewing by two large paneled room dividers painted with birds sitting on blossoming trees, leaving only a small gap through which I managed to squeeze in to get to the tub. I didn't bother asking how they managed to hook it up to a water source- I was just glad they did. On the floor next to the tub was a bar of soap in a plastic holder and a bottle of shampoo and conditioner. April had grabbed a chair from somewhere and put it against the wall divider so she could talk to me through it while sitting in comfort.

"There's no razor," I noted as I started to pull off my clothes.

"I can get you one if you like," offered April quietly.

"No, thank you," I replied, kicking out of my shorts and undies. I turned on the water and waited for it to get to the perfect temperature before I clambered into the tub. Normally I would not be getting into a tub that was located underground in a sewer system, but the water that came out was clean and hot and I felt disgusting, so I happily let my hair down and sunk down into the water with a contented sigh. April let me start running soap over my body before she started talking to me.

"Irma, I'm sorry."

"For what?" I asked, as I noted with disgust the rivulets of dirty water that ran off my arms and legs. "You mean for lying to me for years? For keeping me in the dark about what you actually do on those nights you aren't working? For not telling me where you really were all those times you just disappeared? Or perhaps for not trusting me enough to think that I could handle something like this?"

"All of it. I'm sorry for all of it."

"Good." Neither of us said anything for a few minutes, me because I was angry and hurt and taking a bath, and April because she was trying to think of something else to say. Finally, as I was washing my hair I sighed and sat back in the tub. "Look, I can't really blame you for not telling me at first. It's a pretty big shock, and you were right in wanting to keep it a secret. But really, it would have been nice to know how you and Casey actually met. Plus, you've known this for years, April. Years. I can't believe that you didn't trust me after that long."

"I wanted to tell you, Irma, honest! But no matter how I thought about telling you, I couldn't think of a good way, and plus I had to think of the guys, too. I mean, look at it from their perspective. They don't know you. They've never met you. Outside of Casey and myself, they've never even had any human friends before. I couldn't just suddenly throw you into their midst. What if you guys didn't get along or something like that?"

With a grumble I sunk down into the water, blowing bubbles of irritation. I knew she was right, but I hated being kept out of the loop. "But you told them about me."

April snorted from behind the screen. "Irma, we call each other about three times a week and leave goofy messages on each other's answering machines. Of course I told them about you."

I suddenly remembered the time I called her phone pretending to be a representative from an erotic toy company calling about an order April had supposedly made. I completely submerged myself in the bathwater from mortification.

The redhead guessed why I was suddenly silent. "They actually think it's fun. Mikey gave me a few ideas himself."

"So I've really been the odd one out," I grumbled.

"No, not really," April said comfortingly. "I'm sure you guys would have met each other sooner or later."

"Hmm… How much do they know about me anyway?"

"Just what you look like from pictures and what you sound like from the phone calls. Oh, and I'm sure they've learned by now that you could shatter glass with how loud you are."

"I was angry!" I said defensively.

"Yeah, we could tell."

We both sighed at once then, sinking down into our respective seating arrangements, lost in our own thoughts. "So… How long are we gonna be down here?"

"Who knows," said April. "I was once down here a whole month before they'd let me go up top again."

"A MONTH?" I sat up quickly, making water slosh out of the sides of the tub. "I can't stay here a month! You're your own boss so you can work where you want, but I've got superiors! I've got people to answer to! I can't just disappear for a-"

"Irma! Calm down! I was telling you a story, not saying that's how long we'd be here this time!"

"Oh…" Considerably calmer, I began to rinse my hair and apply the conditioner. "So what do you think this time?"

"Oh, I dunno. Maybe a week or two."

Weighing out my options, I realized that there was really nothing else that I could do. Except freak out a bit. But I didn't think that this would help matters too much, so I opted to go for the High Road and just grumble about it under my breath for a bit.

"Are you mumbling?" April's tone was more accusatory than questioning since she was used my habits by now.

"Yes," I snapped and flicked some water in her direction. "How am I supposed to get my own clothes? Where am I going to sleep? I'm never going to get off for Christmas now. And I'll have to cancel my date!" I was silent for a moment and then with a small screech I sat straight up with almost comically wide eyes. "Oh my god, MY DATE! KEN!"

I quickly rinsed my hair out again, jumped out of the tub and almost left the shelter of the screens when I realized that unless I wanted to put my dirty clothes on again, I was about to run out naked. Not the best impression to make on the temporary roommates- especially male ones. I covered my chest with my arms and said "April, I need some clothes please. Now would be good."

"Oh! Right… Sorry, I wasn't thinking earlier. I'll go grab some for you." With that, she stood up and left the room. I stood there waiting for her to come back and began to unconsciously rub my arms. I did this whenever I was uneasy about something. Normally it calmed me down, but as I ran my hands over my skin I felt the faint burn marks that had been left there by my first husband, Henry, who had a delightful habit of putting out his cigarettes on my skin. He had been such a charming fellow- a shame to have been lost so young. _Yeah, right_. The marks started to bring back memories of past misery, which only increased my discomfort in the present. I started chewing on my lip nervously while waiting for April to come back and took to pacing back and forth behind the screen. I had flung my clothes up over the top of the screen so they didn't get wet on the floor, but I really didn't want to put on my dirty clothes from before. They smelled like vomit.

The door opened suddenly and I heard someone come in. "April?" I called from behind the screen.

I heard a sound of surprise and then what sounded like someone falling to the floor. "Oh, geeze, I didn't know you were in here! I saw April walking into her room and so I thought that you were gone too and I'm really sorry and-"

"Donny?" I asked.

"Y-yeah, I'm super sorry!" The poor guy sounded like he was blushing down to his toes. Wait… Could turtles blush? I found myself curious about it and I cautiously crept to the edge of the screen and peeked out from behind it to see him standing there, and he did indeed have a large blush on his face. When he saw me with my wet hair looking at him it got even worse. He squeezed his eyes shut and turned towards the door. "I'll go right now, I'm-"

"Donny, you didn't see anything. Calm down." His awkwardness was almost cute. And it was true. While we both knew that I was naked behind the divider, all he could see of me was my face, neck, and shoulders. Don't get the wrong idea- I'm as private as the next girl when it comes to waltzing around naked in front of total strangers- but I knew that nothing could be seen and I was safely hidden away, as it were, so I didn't see much of a problem. As long as he stayed on his side and I stayed on mine, I was fine with it. "I didn't really get to thank you properly before. For saving April and I, I mean. It was very brave and kind of you, and you could have left me but you didn't." He still wasn't turned towards me, but I could see him nod his head. I guess he was too embarrassed to say anything. "Anyway…. Thank you." I pulled my head back. "So… I guess you can leave now if you like."

I heard a mumbled "You're welcome," and then the door closed. I shook my head with a little grin on my face but then I realized something. He had probably never seen another human girl before besides April, and I was technically naked in the same room with him. I suddenly felt bad, like I had taken advantage of him or something.

The door opened again a moment later and I heard April say "It's just me. Got some clothes for you." She stuck her arm through the gap between the two dividers and I reached out to take them from her. "Awesome. Thanks."

"I regret to tell you, Irma, that although our pants are the same size, our chests are not, so I have no bra for you. But feel free to keep the underwear," she said in a joking tone. "I don't think that's something we should be sharing between us."

"Seconded," I said and began to get dressed. "So should I just walk around loose 'n free as it were? I only have the one bra myself. I'm gonna have to wash it eventually."

"Well, I got you one of Casey's shirts, and they're pretty big, so…"

"Got it. Thanks for getting a big one," I said. When there's nothing else available, go with big 'n baggy. Hides everything. Putting my glasses on, I stepped out from behind the screen and noticed that she had also brought a comb with her. "God bless you," I said. "But what do I do about toothbrush and deodorant and all that?"

April waved her good hand dismissively. "The guys stockpile most things. Saves having to sneak into stores and stuff."

"Is that what they do?" I asked as I combed the rat's nests out of my hair.

"Well, they don't really have much other choice. Me and Casey buy stuff for them when we can, but we can only do so much, y'know?"

"Casey and I," I muttered to myself as I followed her out the door, still combing my hair. "So, where's a phone in this place?"

* * *

><p>I followed my redheaded companion through the narrow hallway until we got to the main room of the lair. Michelangelo was playing video games on a wide-screen TV that they had somehow managed to sneak down there. Raph was sitting next to him lifting weights and watching him play, occasionally giving a comment like "Give him a left hook," or "There's one on your right."<p>

Master Splinter sat in an arm chair reading a newspaper and drinking what I suspected was tea out of a coffee mug. There was a brief pause as they turned their eyes to the two of us, but then went back to what they were doing before. Splinter put his paper down and smiled at me. "Are you feeling better now, child?"

I smiled back. "Yes, thank you. Um… Sorry for that little freak out earlier. I didn't mean to…"

He held up a hand and said "It is understandable. Think no more on it. But," he said, giving me what I thought was a polite Look, "please remember that it does echo in here. Perhaps next time you feel upset, if you wouldn't mind…"

I got the hint immediately. "Inside voice, got it."

"Master Splinter, where's Casey?" April asked.

The elderly rodent nodded towards to a pair of doors on the other side of the room. "I believe that Casey and Leonardo are sparring."

"I offered to help him work it out, April, but he just wants someone to pummel," Raphael said over his shoulder from the couch. "I guess he thought I'd go easy on him."

April sighed and shifted in her chair. "Don't worry about it. I wanna go talk to him anyway." She set off for the doorway from which there were noises coming like someone was killing something. I thought it best if I stayed put. The two turtles on the couch were doing whatever they were doing, but I had the faintest idea that could see me out of the corner of their eye. I took a breath and turned to Splinter. "Excuse me, uh, sir, but do you have a phone available that I might use? I don't think that my cell phone was brought down with me, you see, and I need to call someone."

"Of course, Miss Langin-"

"You can call me Irma if you like," I interrupted him. "I know my last name is a bit of a mouthful."

"Very well, Miss Irma, the phone is over by the kitchen."

"Thank you, Master Splinter," I said. I turned to go but looked back at him. "And, um, you don't have to call me Miss Irma. Just Irma is fine." For some reason I found the idea of such a seemingly wise creature addressing _me _so formally to be wrong.

He smiled at me, which was a little strange seeing as how he was a rat. His whiskers twitched too. That was new. But he didn't say anything, which I assumed meant he was going to pay no attention to my statement at all.

But I had other things to worry about at that very moment- my Prince Sexy was waiting for me! I sighed to myself as I thought about the no-doubt awesome date I was cancelling. Nonetheless, it had to be done. I had the sinking feeling that even if I did try to escape, April herself would hunt me down and kill me. I was almost as scared of her wrath as I was losing my job. Which I also had to call.

With resignation I picked up the phone and started dialing. I decided to call the library first. When the other librarian, Kelly picked up, the conversation went something like this:

"Hey, Kelly, it's Irma- No… No, I-I'm fine. No, really, I'm fine. Oh… Oh, you heard about the hospital thing, huh? Yeah, it was, uh, uhm… What? On the news? Right now? Hold on a second, Kelly." Without another word I rushed over to the TV and picked up the remote. "What channel is the news?" I started flicking through the channels to the chagrin of Mikey.

"Hey!" he protested. "I'm trying to break a record here!"

Raph tried to grab the remote from me. "You're already eatin' our food, you can't take the remote too!"

But I had already managed to find the news coverage of the hospital. The voice of the reporter droned about how there seemed to be a strange attack on the hospital and that a ward of the hospital and a visiting friend were now missing. "Oh, sssss-" Raph and Mikey both hissed at me to get my attention and jerked their heads in Splinter's direction. "sssshoot…" I finished lamely.

The news gave a close up of the hospital room where I saw the chaos that had been created. I gave a gulp of nervousness and pulled my attention back to the phone. "Oh, yeah, the news… Uh…" I tried to make my voice lighthearted and cheery as I spoke to Kelly. "Oh, those reporters, they exaggerate so much. I mean, it wasn't even that big of a deal."

I walked away from the TV and Michelangelo and Raphael's gaze followed me as I paced back and forth slowly trying to come up with a creative lie. "The window? Uh, yeah, you see, there was a… a bird," I heard a snigger behind me and I turned to see Raph smirking at me. I stuck my tongue out at him before turning back to the phone. "Well, you know those birds. They get it into their mind to come in and they just do it." I heard stifled laughter behind me but decided to ignore it. "What do you mean they couldn't find any birds? Oh, um, well, I, ah…" I looked at Raph and Mikey hopelessly. Mikey immediately began pantomiming picking something up and tossing it out the window. I decided to run with it. "I tossed the birds out the window! Yeah, and they were really aggressive, and that's what broke the window. Very scary, let me tell you, those things were vicious."

Splinter gave a sigh and got up saying something about needing to meditate for a while. I figured that my mental battle to get Kelly to lay off was wearing on him. Heck, it was wearing on me too.

"What kind of bird? I don't know! I wasn't paying attention to the pinfeathers!"

"Vulture!" said Raph in a helpful tone.

"Pelican!" said Mikey.

"I'm not gonna say a vulture and a pelican flew into the hospital room!" I hissed back at them. Kelly's confused voice came back over the phone. "No, no, I said there _wasn't_ a pelican or a vulture! … Um… well…" I started getting nervous. "It's important to make a distinction that there wasn't anything like that in the roo- You know what, Kelly? The line is breaking up, I have to go. I just have to take care of some stuff so I won't be coming to work for a week or two. Unpaid. Yes. You can ask Helen and Ben to come into work for me. Yes, I will. You take care. Bye." With that, I hung up the phone and flopped down onto the couch in between the two laughing turtles with a "Wumph!"

Raph's shoulders were shaking with laughter as he tried to imitate my voice in a terrible falsetto tone. "Those birds are very dangerous you know! Wipe out every window if they can"

Mikey hooted with mirth and took a turn at imitation too. "Frightfully dreadful, I do declare! Simply horrendous, my dear girl!" For some reason he decided to use a British accent. To this day I still have no idea why, but it was the last straw and they both fell out laughing all over themselves. I sat between them stewing.

"Okay, firstly, I did not sound that bad." This was met with even louder chortles and guffaws. "Secondly," I continued with a raised tone of voice, "I do not have an English accent!"

They paid no attention to me and continued to laugh around from the hilarity of the situation. "I can't breathe! I can't breathe!" gasped Mikey.

"Quick! Go find a vulture!" responded Raph.

The hoots and hollers multiplied and I soon found myself sitting alone on the couch while the two brothers rolled around on the floor, clutching their sides.

With a growl of irritation I stood up to see if I could find anyone sane to talk to in the Lair, as it was apparently called. As I walked away I heard the laughter fade away momentarily, followed by Mikey calling to me. "Aw, come on Irma! We were laughing at you- I mean with you!" He and Raph instantly dissolved back into the chaos of giggles. I rolled my eyes and continued walking. I first walked over to the area where I had seen April go- but then I heard shouting coming from inside the doors. _That's a big, fat no_. Turning down another hallway, I walked towards a large room where I could hear the sound of a screwdriver. Wondering what was going on, I walked into what was possibly the coolest room I had ever seen. Well, almost the coolest. The coolest room ever was the kitchen of my favorite bakery out on 17th Avenue* where I got to see them icing the cakes. I love cake, by the way. It's on the top of my Most Awesome Things list.

But this room, which I instantly dubbed "The La-Bor-A-Tory" was pretty neat too. There were things hanging from the ceiling that made weird shapes in shadows across the wall. There were tanks full of pieces of scrap metal, and a pile of what looked like engines shoved to one side. But perhaps the most impressive sight was that of the massive computer sitting in the corner. It had what looked like twenty screens, four keyboards, and a pair of subwoofers or something. I walked closer to see Donny typing away at three of the keyboards at once, staring intently at the screens in front of me.

"This is a pretty awesome setup you've got here," I said casually. I was kind of hoping he'd jump up or give a little scream of surprise, but the only visible change in him that I saw was the corner of his mouth curling up. "Thanks," he said.

"You knew I was in here?" I asked surprised.

"Well, when you're trained to listen up on a person's heartbeat during battle, you tend to pick up smaller things as well. You weren't quiet enough for me to not hear you coming," he explained as he typed away.

"You guys are trained to pick up on people's heartbeats?" My voice held a tone of incredulity.

"Something like that."

"Huh… Nifty." I leaned on his computer chair and he looked up at me curiously. I grinned down at him. "By the way, sorry if I embarrassed you in the bathroom earlier. I guess my concussion left me inconsiderate of what others might think about things that I do."

"It's okay," Donny assured me. "I mean, you had a point. I didn't see anything. But I've never been in the same room as a naked woman who was fine with it. New situation for me."

"Look at it this way then," I said, "You can tell your brothers that you were in the same room as a _naked woman who was fine with it_." I waited for Donny to look up at me and winked mischievously. "The details you can leave up to their imagination."

A devious smirk to match my own impish grin grew on his face. "I never thought of that before. Thank you. I can so use that next time we play a game of One-Up-Manship." He turned his chair around to face me as I stood back, illuminated by the computer screens. "You know, you've adjusted to this situation remarkably well. I'm a bit surprised."

I shrugged. "Well, I guess I figured out that you weren't exactly human when those thugs were attacking April and I. And then when you guys carried me here, and when I woke up and you were there." I considered something for a moment. "Maybe it's good that we met while I couldn't think straight."

Donny chuckled. "Maybe so. Actually," he turned back to his computer. "I've kind of wanted to meet you since I heard you leave that prank message on April's phone."

"Oh, yeah? Which one?"

"The erotic toy one." He didn't so much as snort but I could practically FEEL the chuckles radiating off of him.

I did a face palm and groaned. "I swear, you do something like that one time and that's all anyone remembers."

"Oh, that's not all we remember. We also remember the time April put you on speaker phone and you had a talk about your aunt's funeral with your parents."

Now THAT I wasn't expecting. "April let you LISTEN to that?" I demanded. I felt a sudden sense of outrage. Donny, sensing my mood shift instantly rectified his statement.

"No, no, no, she didn't let us listen to it. But we had kind of poked the metaphorical hornet's nest with Casey and he didn't want her getting into trouble, but he didn't want her to know either, so he got us to do recon around her apartment to make sure nothing happened. She was getting dinner ready while she was talking to you and had no idea we were even there."

"Oh." I felt a little better about it. Still… "That's still kinda weird and stalkeri-sh though."

"Yeah, we know. But in our defense, we really had no idea who you were other than April's friend. Plus, your stories were funny."

"Yes, having my parents tell me that I was a lackluster branch on the family tree and then getting drunk to have the courage to tell them that they suck is simply hilarious," I said sarcastically.

"It was the WAY you said it though," said Donny.

I thought about it for a moment and then grinned. "It WAS pretty ingenious to write it down in a sonnet and then tape it up all over the funeral parlor. I made family gossip for months with that one." A thought occurred to me. "So you guys basically know all about my family life. That's… a bit worrisome."

The purple wearing turtle shook his head. "Nah, I was the only one who heard the whole thing. The other guys had to run off to make sure that a sound on the roof wasn't someone coming to set April on fire. It happens more than you'd think."

"What, April being set on fire or people _trying_ to set her on fire?"

"Trying to set her on fire. No one's actually succeeded yet. We sometimes form a betting pool on the interesting days."

I was silent for a moment. Then I said "I've got a lot to catch up on I think."

Suddenly another voice came from the entrance of the La-Bor-A-Tory. "Don? Dinner's here." The voice was Leonardo, the blue one. I hadn't noticed until just then that he carried himself differently than the others did. I couldn't quite pin my finger on what it was though.

"Alright, Leo, just let me finish this thing." Donny tapped a few keys and after a second several of the screens turned dark. He got up out of his chair and stretched. "Good thing that chair is comfy."

Leo walked closer and nodded his head at me. I raised my hand and gave him a little wave. "Yo."

The three of us started to walk towards the kitchen and living room area and I asked "So… What's for dinner?"

"Pizza," answered Leo. "I should warn you now you'll get a lot of that here."

"Really? Well, it's a good thing I like pizza then."

Donatello chuckled. "Casey used to say the same thing before Mikey got him to do the All-Pizza Diet Dare."

"The all pizza…" My eyes widened as I remembered. "Oh! I know what you're talking about! So you're the friends that were daring Casey!"

"Not all of us, just Mikey," Leo said.

"Raph and I had a betting pool over whether or not it was going to work. I bet against."

"What'd you bet for, Leo?" I asked.

"I don't gamble," was all he said.

_Mental note to self: Leo doesn't talk._

* * *

><p>The table was already set when we got there. Two boxes of pizza sat in the middle of the table with an assortment of chairs pulled around with a paper plate and napkin accompanying each. Mikey was already seated, and the look he was giving the boxes was akin to the look predators get when they're about to pounce on their unwary victim and rip them to pieces. Casey and April were sitting down as well, and they kept looking at each other like at any second they were going to go for each other's throats. Either that or engage in very angry and violent sex on the dining table. I was really hoping that wasn't the case.<p>

Master Splinter sat down before the turtles did. I figured it was a respect thing. I stood awkwardly in the back of the group until I saw what chair was empty. It was pretty obvious that they all had their own places at the table, and I didn't want to intrude. I felt awkward enough as it was. The last seat open was between Raph and Donny. I gave myself a mental confidence boost and sat down in the chair, only to have it suddenly go down a few inches. I gave a squeak of surprise and Mikey started laughing.

"The heck…" I noticed then that the chair was the kind where if you held up a lever under the seat, you could adjust the height. _Someone_ had cleverly taped it up. My face was now level with the table and I looked up to see Raph grinning widely at me. "I know that I can be intimidating, but really."

I gave him what I hoped was a scary look, but judging from Mikey's continued chortles and Raph's lingering grin, I gathered that I was failing miserably. "It's the pink glasses," I muttered. "No one takes the pink glasses seriously."

As I pulled the tape off the chair and got back up to a normal height, Splinter whacked Mikey over the head with his cane. "That is no way to treat our guest, my son," he admonished. Mikey gave a mumbled "Sorry, Sensei" and then Splinter pulled the boxes to him and opened the one on top. As soon as the aroma hit me I realized that I hadn't eaten in hours. My stomach gave out a huge rumble of protest and I instantly covered my stomach with my arms and blushed hard in embarrassment.

April was of course upset, but not at me. "Oh, gosh, Irma, I'm so sorry! I totally forgot to feed you!"

"I'm not a cat, April, don't worry," I replied curtly, my mortification at sounding like a jet engine still strong. I stared down at my plate resolutely, not letting anyone see the red on my cheeks.

"I am afraid that we have failed our duties as good hosts, Miss Irma," Splinter said. "I myself should have noticed your hunger."

I guess this was his way of saying _Boys, why weren't you taking care of her?_ because all four of them suddenly stiffened a little. I was surprised to suddenly find the box of pizza offered to me first by Splinter. "Please take what you would like first," said Splinter.

I looked up at him and then back down at the box and had to keep myself from drooling as I looked at the box which contained a pizza with pepperoni and Italian sausage. I probably could have eaten the whole thing, but I restricted myself to two slices. "Which way should I pass it?" I asked, picking up the box to hand off.

"Our other guests will pick next," said Splinter, and I handed it to Casey and April, who looked less than happy at the prospect of eating pizza yet again. But I suppose a bet is a bet because Casey put on a brave face as he picked out his slices. Master Splinter went next, then to Leo, who sat next to him, then to Donny, Raph and Mikey.

I waited until everyone was served before I picked up my first slice. I closed my eyes and took a deep bite out of the deliciousness and let a moan of satisfaction pass my lips. "It's like God on bread!" I took another massive bite out of the pizza, not bothering to chew my first bite. I didn't really notice the coughing fit that Leo got when he choked on his water, or that Donny was staring at me with an open mouth before he shut it, or that Raph got an even bigger, but different grin on his face, all at the same time I moaned. Mikey was too absorbed in his own pizza to really pay attention to me.

Splinter smiled at me as the pitcher of ice water was passed my direction. "A woman with a healthy appetite is a beautiful thing." For a moment I thought that maybe he was trying to make a comment about my eating habits, but he looked and sounded sincere, so I smiled back at him.

"Alright, I think we've avoided it long enough," said Casey. "Irma, do you remember anything about what happened last night when those guys attacked you? What they looked like or anything? April was too drugged up to really be in a good position for it I guess."

There was a moment's pause during which I began to chew slowly, as though I was trying to remember. April was staring at Casey like she was going to slap him. He probably shouldn't have excluded her from his previous statement, seeing as how she was injured, emotionally wrought, and had no eyebrows.

I finally swallowed, put my pizza down, and took a deep breath.

"Well, there was a giant condor you see-" And the rest of my statement was completely drowned out by Raphael and Michelangelo bursting into hysterics, which I gladly joined.

* * *

><p>*This street is completely fictional- if there IS a 17th Street in New York City with a bakery on it, I might just go and check it out, after I get myself examined in case I have mind-powers of some kind.<p>

I had planned the interactions here a bit differently in my mind. It seems, however, that the characters decided to change things around; I got no cooperation from them at all. I love them anyway though.

If you liked the chapter, please review, and if you didn't, tell me why. I could always use improvement. (Note that this does not mean flames, it means polite criticism.)


	7. Chapter Seven

Thanks to all my beta-readers for the great job that they do!

TMNT does not in any way, shape or form belong to me. However, if they suddenly put Irma back on the air and she's displaying characteristics similar to the ones in this story, I may be a little miffed.

* * *

><p><strong>Chapter Seven<strong>

Shortly after dinner, April and I went with Donny and Splinter to have our bandages and injuries checked up on. They declared us both fine, but insisted that I go to bed.

"Concussions are serious things," said Donny as he gently nudged me to the door. "I don't think that you're in any serious danger but I don't want you exerting yourself too quickly." I would have argued, but to tell the truth, I didn't want to exert myself either. I was in no hurry to repeat the headache I had earlier.

The next day was more of the same thing; waking up, walking around a bit, talking some more with Donny about random things, etc. Master Splinter had the other three doing chores, so I didn't think it was wise to disturb them. It had been very uneventful, for me at least. Donny, Splinter and April were not convinced that I was over my concussion yet, and so they gave me some sleeping pills and sent me to bed for most of the morning and afternoon. I was grateful, actually. I was emotionally exhausted, and I was in no mood to risk making my head worse either. The most eventful thing was calling Ken on his cell phone during hours that I knew he'd be working. I just left a message explaining that I was going to have to cancel the date because of personal issues, but I'd call him as soon as I could. I prayed the whole time that he wouldn't pick up the phone; I really didn't want a repeat of the Bird thing.

This was also the day that I learned that April and Casey's relationship was not as smooth as they had led me to believe.

It was decided that to keep things easier for everyone, April and I were going to share the guestroom. This room had a large bed, a couple lamps on bedside tables, and a makeshift closet with clothes in it. Apparently it was April and Casey's unofficial bedroom that they shared when they were down there visiting, but since I was there too, Casey had been moved into Raph's room for the time being. Because April and I were sharing the same room, we also had to share the one bed. It wasn't that weird for me; I shared my bed with my sister whenever she came to visit me. But for April, I thought it would be a bit strange since she had been living with Casey for so long. It wasn't until she collapsed on the bed with a relieved sigh that I realized that perhaps the tension I had seen between the two of them wasn't just from the stress. She had changed into a tank top and shorts to sleep in that night. Don had told her to sleep without sleeves because he didn't want the bandages on her arms to get messed up from any more fabric. But since I didn't have any pajamas, I just pulled off the pants that I had borrowed from April and decided to sleep in just the shirt. Because Casey had such a long torso and broad shoulders and I didn't, the shirt fell halfway to my knees anyway.

I watched her as she stretched out over the bed. "Irma, you're not a pillow or a blanket hog, are you?"

I kicked out of the pants and sat down on my side of the bed. "If my ex and sister are to be believed, I sleep like the dead. Once I'm asleep I don't move until I wake up."

"Thank God," April said, and proceeded to get under the covers happily.

"You seem to be much happier about sharing a bed with a girl than I think I'm comfortable with," I remarked.

She rolled her eyes and started to pull the blankets over her. "Yeah, yeah."

I pulled the blankets back on my side and I turned out my lamp. The room was plunged into complete and utter darkness. We were both quiet for a moment and then I said "So… You and Casey…"

She sighed. "Alright. Let's get it over with."

"How long have you two been fighting? I heard you yelling to him about being a vigilante or something. What's all this about? I thought you two were fine! Have you just been pretending this whole time?"

I heard rustling next to me. "I'm sure you've guessed by now that the guys are not exactly… normal."

If I had been able to see her in the dark, I would have given her the most incredulous look I could have. "April. They're five foot eight inch tall turtles that talk and apparently have a way with beating people up. I'm weird, I'm not _stupid_."

"Sorry…" More rustling. "Alright. Well… The vigilante thing… The turtles have this habit of going out and, ah, doing good for the city."

I absorbed this information. "Huh… I guess we know why there's all those strange figures on the news then."

"Yeah, they've got their fair share on there. Anyway. Casey and I met them a few years ago when Casey was trying to get over having to leave professional hockey because of his injuries."

I knew this story. Casey had told me himself in one of our "Past Drama" discussions. "Right, and?"

"Well… He and Raph met one night when they were kind of… doing the same thing."

"Doing the…" I turned over on my side to face the direction her voice was coming from. "He was trying to be a vigilante too?"

April's voice sounded tired. "Yep. And now, all this time later, he's still running around playing the hero."

"Ah… You're worried about him, right?"

"I'm worried about all of them, Irma! They're always out there fighting anything that comes their way, risking their necks for this city, and getting nothing for it! What if they're caught sometime? Not everyone is like us, Irma. What if someone sticks them in a lab somewhere?"

We were both silent for a minute. Then I spoke. "I can't really say much about what's going on with you and Casey, that's your business and I have no place in it. But as for the turtles… Well, they know how to fight, right? And I think it's safe to assume that they've been through a lot already, right? I wouldn't worry too much about them."

I kept my voice light but I knew that she did have a point to her concern. I didn't know them too well, but I didn't want my hosts to end up in one of those creepy science labs with the surgical equipment either. I kicked April's foot under the blankets gently. "It'll be okay, April. Trust me."

She sighed. "Alright, Irma. I'll try to calm down. G'night." And with that, we both closed our eyes and fell fast asleep.

* * *

><p>Despite my initial concerns that I was going to have the most awkward few weeks in the sewers ever, it turned out to be pretty nice once I got used to the idea of living with the equivalent of five walking, talking house pets.<p>

Although their home itself was technically located in the sewers, the Lair was in a location where the various smells didn't even reach us. I was pretty happy about this, considering that sewage was not exactly something that a person wanted to wake up to in the morning.

The setup of the Lair was actually fairly simple once I was familiar with it; the main room of the lair served as the Living Room/Playroom/Kitchen, because it was so spacious. There were three big rooms adjoining that- the Training Room, Splinter's meditation room, and the make-shift nurse's office where they patched each other up. There were two main hallways to the left and right of the main room, each leading to another large chamber that had been converted into something else. Don's Lab-Or-A-Tory was located in one such big room, and the unspoken rule was that no one in there touched anything except Don. This of course meant that the other brothers would wander in there at all hours of the day, and their exits would usually be announced by something loud crashing, Donny shouting, and then someone running away at top speed.

The other main room on the other side of the lair was what served as the bedroom. The giant room at that end was apparently at one point part of a railway system that had been shut down ages ago. There were still four train cars sitting on the tracks in the middle of the room. Since it would have been nigh impossible to steal those things and drag them this far down, I assumed they had always been there. These cars were converted into makeshift bedrooms for the four turtles. The windows of the cars had been covered for a sense of privacy, and it was pretty easy to see whose room was whose. The first car's windows were blocked with what looked like those Japanese scroll pictures. They were big and wide, but they were also kinda pretty because the light shown through them, so it looked like bright pictures. The zen feeling I got from that car was totally Leo. The next room's windows were covered with what looked like paper. I found out later that they were posters of war movies and baseball legends. Raph's room, of course. Donny's room was the third car, and those windows were covered with curtains of various colors. I guessed that the old adage "Beggars can't be choosers" applied in the choosing of the colors. Mikey's windows were creative to say the least. His were completely plastered in bumper stickers, regular stickers, all with funny sayings, and pictures of lolcats and the lolrus*.

The other rooms along that hallway were used as closets and storage rooms, except for one which had been converted into the guest room where April and I were sleeping.

This hallway, which I christened the Catnap Corridor, was also the hallway that had the bathroom where Donny and I had our embarrassing run-in. It seemed to be the area that had all the non-ninja stuff. This was good since I myself was somewhat accident prone and could probably stab myself with a fork if given enough time.

The other hallway was Arsenal Avenue because every room in that place was filled with assorted weaponry, especially those of a painfully pointy nature. Whenever I went down that way to get to Don's Lab, I sort of ran in order to avoid the off chance that a room would suddenly spring open and a ninja star would impale itself in my forehead.

In the next few days, I also got to know the turtles.

Mikey and I got to know each other when I walked in on him playing Halo III on an Xbox. He kept dying at this one part and knowing something of games myself, I couldn't help but want to stop and watch. After he died the third time, I gave in and sat down on the couch next to him. "Give me that thing," I said, taking the controller from him. "Heeey," he began to protest, and then stopped as I started to wreak virtual carnage on the screen. I bit the bottom of my lip in concentration as I fought my way through the hoards of aliens. Mikey suddenly gave a whoop. "Killtacular! Awesome! Go, Irma, go!"

That sealed it. I was on a rampage while Mikey sat next to me shouting things like "Awesome, dudette!" His eyes got wide and he turned to me excitedly. "Two-Player mode!"

"You read my mind!" Without further ado, we plugged in the other controller and began our ascent up the ranks of the Halo gaming world.

Mikey and I were pretty much friends after that. I discovered his love of pranks after he put a rubber snake in the bed one night, having somehow found out that I detest serpents of all kinds. They could hear my screams in Connecticut and of course Mikey was at the door first, having a conniption of humor. "It was so totally worth it!" he yelled as I chased him around the lair. We talked about movies, games, and music when I wasn't chasing him for pranking me. He invited me into his train-car room at one point and we had a dance party after he turned on his old boom box. It was pretty much just us jumping around, surrounded by the plastic figurines and the comic collections. "Dude! Mikey!" I shouted over the music. "We should totally do a rave in here sometime!"

"Totally!" he shouted back to me, and he proceeded to do the Robot dance.

For some reason when we started talking about the old Dexter's Lab cartoons, I felt like I was having a talk with a younger brother.

* * *

><p>Raph was a totally different ballgame. He was a snarky, condescending, self-proclaimed badass. Needless to say I felt the desire to drive him up the nearest wall instantly.<p>

I began with my plan when I saw him take over the TV and turn on the movie The Expendables. It was the perfect moment. I walked up behind the sofa and casually remarked "Oh, this movie. I swear, every time it comes on, it drains my IQ by five points."

Raph turned his head to look at me in an irritated way. "Then leave. I don't see you holding an invitation to this viewing."

"Nah," I said, sitting down. "Jason Statham is cute."

"And that's just what this movie is for," Raphael said sarcastically. "Eye candy for the chicks. Beat it, will ya?"

"Hmmmno." I gave him a beatific smile and turned my attention to the TV, helping myself to some of his popcorn. "This stuff needs butter."

Thirty minutes later we were having an argument over the legitimacy of using digital blood in a movie. "It's totally fake!" I said. "A half-blind grandmother could see that that stuff looks cheap!"

"It's a five second clip! It doesn't matter! All that matters is you recognize the carnage!" Raphael used his hands to punctuate his remarks.

"What good is the carnage if it looks fake enough to make Kim Kardashian's boobs look real? Violence is not something you can just FAKE! It totally looses the genuineness by digitalizing it!"

"It's ALL fake! None of the blood is real! None of the people dying is real! So what's the use with using digital blood?"

"It's not ARTISTIC! It needs to be ARTISTIC!" I was sitting up on my knees on the couch, trying to convey the conviction that I felt on the subject.

Raph was doing the same thing, just as adamant as I was. "This movie isn't artistic!"

"A-HA! So you concede that this movie is not good!" I exclaimed triumphantly.

"I didn't say that! I said it's not artistic!" Raph said angrily. "Just because something isn't artistic doesn't mean it's not good!"

"Spartacus! The Great Escape! The Bridge Over the River Kwai! Completely artistic! They didn't use fake blood!"

"I haven't even _seen_ Spartacus! How'm I supposed to argue over movies I haven't seen?"

My jaw dropped ten feet. "You've NEVER seen SPARTACUS? What's WRONG with you?"

The conversation continued like this for another thirty minutes, in which I continued to call him an 'unenlightened plebian', and he called me a 'pushy emasculating broad'. It finally ended when we both flopped back onto the couch stewing and then Raph said "So what's Spartacus about?"

* * *

><p>Leo and I were what I liked to refer to as Polar Opposites. He was disciplined while I gave in to my cravings for things constantly. He was thoughtful whereas after five seconds of consideration I usually did the fun (and consequently, often stupid) thing to do. He seemed always carry about with him a sense of inner peace that I could only be passionately jealous of, and his careful precision in everything occasionally made me sometimes wonder if he had some sort of robot engine in his mind that made everything he did look perfect.<p>

I imagined that if the two of us ever had to do a painting to see what would come out of our heads, his would be something like the ceiling of the Sistine Chapel and mine would probably look like Barney on crack.

Nevertheless, I somehow managed to get it into my head that we should be friends. I had succeeded in gaining friendship with the other three (or at least, with two- I briefly considered that perhaps I was lucky Raphael hadn't killed me yet), and I was determined to at least try to become friends with Leonardo as well. I was drawn by the thought that it could be a challenge- I loved a challenge when it came to men. Not so much romantically, but just getting them to open up in general. My psychologist aunt would probably have chalked it up to never being able to get through to my father, and so I projected my desire for an intimate relationship onto other men (intimate here meaning friendship wise, not sex wise. I wasn't into turtles).

Perhaps it wasn't a good idea to get too close to the turtles. Without a doubt, they would have most likely left me alone, and once returned to the surface, would probably have never come into contact with me again. It would have made things much easier and simpler. But I wanted to make friends with them- they were strange, interesting, and despite their appearance and species, seemed altogether human in their ways of thinking. It was an interesting thing to me, and I kind of liked the idea of being in on a secret- and they were certainly one of the best that you could have.

I managed to get in a decent conversation with Leonardo one day when I woke up extra early. April and I had both taken a couple of pain pills the night before, and so we had gone to bed a bit early. I woke up before April did, and although I tried to go back to sleep, I couldn't find it in me. I decided to get up and start moving.

Luckily, having spent so much time underground, my eyes had managed to adjust to the darkness of the room. I was familiar with where things were and how far they were from the bed. I managed to make it to the closet, pull on some shorts and another one of Casey's old long-sleeved plaid shirts. After a week of being underground, I still had just the one bra, and it needed to be washed with the rest of the laundry. With a sigh, I decided to do without it for the day. I felt awkward, but at the same time I knew that the shirts were so thick and bulky that they didn't really give a good view of my assets anyway, not that I had much in the way of those. Also, I didn't even know if they would have cared anyway- they were turtles after all. If that were true, then the only person who would notice would be Casey, and he saw me as a sister. Not much of a problem there.

I finished dressing and crept out of the room, looking for a clock of some kind to tell me what time it was. I headed to the kitchen, knowing that the oven would have the time. Ah, the joys of digital appliances. But as I walked towards it, I saw that the lights were on in the training room. Curious, I went closer to find the door open. Peeking inside, I saw something rather amazing. Leonardo was in the room, moving at the speed of light, jabbing here, swinging there, stabbing upwards, and slicing downwards, almost like a dance with weaponry. I knew that it would be best if I left; still, I could not tear my eyes away from the sight. He was so graceful-

And then of course, he caught sight of me, stumbled a little, and instantly stopped. "Sorry, sorry!" I exclaimed. "I-it's just that I woke up early, and I saw the light on, and, well… Good morning?" I finished lamely.

Leo stared at me for a moment and then I saw the side of his mouth twitch upwards a little. "Good morning to you, too." He sheathed his katanas and walked closer to me. "I'm not used to having anyone else up at 4:30 AM except for maybe Master Splinter."

I gaped at him. "It's 4:30 in the morning?"

"Mhmm. I usually wake up at four and train for an hour before my brothers and Splinter wake up."

I walked into the room and looked at the variety of weapons and training apparatuses on the walls and on tables. There were a few wicked looking ones- a curved blade on the end of a long pole, and what looked like a sickle that could be shot out at someone, if the trigger on the side was any indication. "These all look Japanese," I commented to Leo, who stood behind me.

"They are. Master Splinter wants us to be familiar with all of them. But we all have our own preferences of course," he said as he gestured to the katanas on his back.

"Huh," I said. "They're all a bit too… pointy for me."

"Oh? What weapon would you prefer?"

I turned to look at him with a grin. "My parents raised me to believe that violence is the bane of human existence. So I joined the Gun Club in college and have a license to carry in the states of New York and Georgia. I keep my gun in my apartment for safety."

He looked surprised. Most people were when they learned I had no problem handling firearms. "I… see. Do you… often make a habit of going against what your parents taught you?"

"Almost always," I said cheerily. "Of course, they also taught me that pets were nasty and unhygienic to keep around, so you can see that I've taken everything they've taught me with a few cups of salt."

"Huh… Interes- Did you say Georgia?" The look on his face when he realized the randomness of those two states put together was priceless.

"Yeah, I grew up there. In Atlanta, actually."

"So, how did you end up here?"

"Got a good job offer. You wanna make breakfast?" I asked. "I can make pancakes. I'm really good at making pancakes."

"Pancakes?" Leo smiled at me. "Pancakes actually sound great."

"Awesome!" I enthused, and we both headed to the kitchen. "If you'll get out a big mixing bowl and some frying pans and a beater, I'll get the ingredients together." I had a vague idea of where everything was. I had seen the turtles wander around the kitchen getting things out of cupboards and the fridge. The one thing that I had not counted on, however, was how chaotic it would all be. They had no sense of organization in that kitchen. The eggs, milk and butter were easy enough, but the flour? Salt? Sugar? Impossible.

"How does Michelangelo do it?" I asked out loud. "You've got the oregano and paprika next to a box of Frosted Flakes and bacon bits with the baking soda!"

Leo looked at me like I had just asked what the color green tasted like. "It's Mikey's kitchen," was all he offered in explanation. Of course, having been in Mikey's room, I knew firsthand what he was talking about.

"True." I set about hunting down the remaining ingredients in military fashion, shoving things to the side and making a mental note to organize the kitchen when I had it to myself. When I finally gathered everything, I began cracking eggs and pouring things into the bowl with Leo expertly mixing things. He had good arm strength and mixed it all perfectly. I added in some extra sugar and a few teaspoons of vanilla. Leo looked at me when I did this. "You'll love it," I promised. "Try the batter if you like. It'll be good."

"I'll wait until the finished product," he said, and began pouring the batter into perfect circles on the frying pan. I got a big plate out of another cupboard and waited eagerly for the pancakes to cook. "I'll leave the flipping and stuff to you," I said to Leo. "I have the unfortunate habit of mangling them when I try to do the flippy thing."

"Not a problem," he chuckled, and with a quick flick of his wrist, one of the pancakes went soaring up in the air. He caught it and flipped it to the uncooked side. I stood staring and he grinned at my expression. "A perk of being a ninja."

"SO unfair," I muttered. "I make these things all the time, and I've never even once come close to managing to do that."

The blue bandana wearing turtle chuckled. "It's one of the few things I can do outside of being a ninja."

Within a few minutes we had the table neatly set and a huge stack of pancakes ready. A thought struck me and I bit my lip nervously. "Does… does everyone like pancakes?"

"They'll love them, don't worry," my assistant chef assured me. "But… if you like, I can taste test."

"Would you?" I asked. "I just don't want to serve everyone something that they'll hate."

Leo sat down, took a pancake, put some butter on it, and took a bite. He chewed for a bit, looking thoughtful.

"Well?" I asked impatiently.

"I don't know…" he mused. "I'll have to test it further to really know." And with that, he took two more pancakes and slathered them with butter too.

"Hey, wait up!" I said, and I sat down next to him and helped myself as well.

About two seconds after that, I heard an alarm go off somewhere, and a large crash. "That'll be Raph destroying the alarm clock again," said Leonardo in an exasperated way. "And of course, that'll wake up Donny, who'll yell at Raph for breaking another clock, and that'll wake up Mikey, who'll play loud music until they shut up and then they'll all come get breakfast-"

"Which I see has already been prepared." Splinter's voice cut in, making me jump a little in surprise. He walked to the other side of me, his whiskers twitching appreciatively as he sniffed at the food. "I see that my sense of smell has not yet deserted me. The aroma the two of you created in here was good enough to wake me up early."

"Was it really the aroma, or was it the noise we were making?" I inquired, offering him the butter.

His eyes twinkled a little. "It is true that although it seems your skill in preparing food is good, your skills of stealth may need a little bit of improvement, Miss Irma."

I snapped my fingers in mock disappointment. "Well, darn."

Voices came up from the hallway. "… told you stop smashing those things! They don't grow on trees!"

"You make them so damn loud!"

"Dudes, I'm getting really sick of waking up to you guys fighting. It totally ruins my morning mood!"

"At least you two don't have to share a room with the guy who has the alarm."

"You want me to kick you out into the hallway, Casey? Cause I'll do it!"

"Boys!" said Splinter in a loud voice. The fighting ended instantly, although I could still hear grumbles. Don, Raph, Mikey and Casey walked into the kitchen, the turtles with sleepy eyes and Casey with mussed bed-hair. I grinned at the sight. "Forgot a comb, Casey?"

He snorted at me. "You're one to talk. Your hair looks like a bad afro."

My hands instantly went to my hair. "I washed it last night. It gets frizzy when I don't get to dry it." I tried to smooth my hair down and then stopped. "And if you don't be nice to me, I won't give you any pancakes."

"They're good too," said Leo.

Mikey eagerly reached for the platter I held away from Casey. "Leo hardly likes anything! They've gotta be great!"

"Pass 'em here, I'm starving." Raphael took the pancakes from Michelangeo, who kept putting them on his plate even as they were moving away.

Donatello took a bite and grinned at me. "These are great, Irma."

"Thanks," I grinned back at him. As the turtles and Casey began to talk about things, I leaned over to Splinter and murmured softly in his ear "Would you mind terribly if I organized the kitchen?"

"Miss Irma," whispered Splinter back, "I have been waiting for someone to do that for months. I once accidentally poured salt into my tea instead of sugar." He then asked in a normal tone "Where did you learn this recipe, Miss Irma? Did your mother teach it to you?"

I let out a bark of laughter before I saw the look on Splinter's face. "Wait… you were serious?" The shock in my voice and face must have been very clear.

"Do people not ask about your parents very often?" asked Leo politely.

"No, it's not that. It's that teaching me to cook wasn't too high on my parent's priority list." I took a bite of my pancake.

"Did they want you to do something else?" Leo asked.

"Besides disappear of the face of the earth? Nope, not really." I looked down at my food and began cutting my pancake with great concentration.

"You are… estranged from your family, Miss Irma?" Splinter inquired.

I thought about it for a moment. "Well, the last time I was home, my parents threatened to disown me and never talk to me again, so, yes, I would say so."

"Why the hell would they do THAT?" Raph stared at me with a look of disbelief. "Didja set somethin' on fire, or what?"

"Just the once, and no one used that boathouse anyway. I think they were more annoyed that they couldn't make me go away by pretending that I didn't exist."

There was absolute silence at the table while my companions reconsidered their thoughts about me.

"Perhaps you simply have not understood each other," said Splinter softly. "All parents love their children."

"No, they don't." My voice and rigid posture sent out the vibe that the conversation was over. The discussion turned to that days training schedule, and I was left alone with my memories.

* * *

><p>This is the longest chapter that I've written thus far. I wanted to establish the kind of relationships Irma had with the brothers here, and I think I did that alright. The characters also had something to do with it, uncooperative little punks that they are.<p>

Reviews and constructive criticism are desirable and let me know someone actually reads this stuff.


	8. Chapter Eight

**NOTE TO READERS:** For the next week and half, I'll be doing a bunch of wedding things which does will not lend itself to much spare time to write. So I doubt there'll be an update next week to the story. BUT once I get back I'll probably do two chapters that week rather than the usual one, unless my computer gets eaten by a Totoro. I'll be writing a lot (a week-long road trip all together; oh boy) so by the time I get back, I should be plenty ahead and just need to type it up. Thanks for the patience.

I'd like to give a big Merci to my beta-readers and reviewers for their support and comments.

Don't own TMNT in any capacity.

* * *

><p><strong>Chapter Eight<strong>

I managed to organize the kitchen in one morning. It wasn't a dirty kitchen, it just looked like a bunch of gremlins got into the cupboards and moved everything where they shouldn't have been. And after that, it just seemed to all snowball.

For the second half of the first week I was in the Lair, I began to go on a cleaning spree. After the kitchen, I found a closet in Catnap Corridor that had tons of cleaning supplies. I probably wouldn't have bothered if the guys had been around to hang out with, but for some reason they and Casey were all busy doing things in Don's Lab. If they weren't doing things in there, they were training.

Besides, the Lair may not have been dirty, but it was certainly messy. Despite Master Splinter's immaculate grooming of himself and the state of his own quarters, there was still the equivalent of four young adults living together, all male. This was not exactly conducive to tidiness. I had been married twice, and neither husband had been overly concerned with keeping things clean- the first because he had me do it all and he'd hit me if I didn't, and the second because he didn't take his flings to the house, he took them to hotels. I didn't find out about the things the second husband had done until the divorce proceedings began, but still.

Since April was trying to work with Donny to find out who had attacked us and why, I didn't want to distract her either. And I felt lazy and kind of impolite to just sit there, leeching off their hospitality. So I started with the massive den/living room after I finished with the kitchen, then I moved on into Catnap Corridor. I organized all the closets, and then the storage rooms full of books and boxes and other such junk. That took me hours and by the time I was done with that, I just wanted to sit mindlessly somewhere. I stood up from where I had been crouching with a loud groan and stretched my hands far over my head.

There was a polite cough behind me. I gave a screech of surprise (no one had been around for what felt like hours) and tripped over my own feet, falling backwards into a pair of green arms that came up to catch me. The problem with this was that the turtle who caught me was used to catching his brothers or Casey, and not women. So his hands went a bit too high up, and as I hit his plastron, his hands _squeezed_ instinctively to keep me from losing my balance. I gave a small "Eep" and I heard an "Ack" of surprise behind me, and as I looked up into the face of Donny, I saw that he now realized that I wasn't wearing a bra under my shirt.

We immediately jumped apart, both of our faces completely red from mortification. At that moment I wanted the ground beneath me to open up into a black hole and swallow me off the face of the earth. I knew he was thinking the same thing because he was looking at my face and trying so hard not to look at my chest, and his mouth just kept opening and closing, trying to think of something to say-

And he just looked so ridiculous that I suddenly burst into laughter, trying to stifle the sounds of my amusement with my hands. But it wouldn't stop. I took a deep breath, trying to get a hold of myself, but when I looked at the turtle facing me, I couldn't help but break out into giggles again. Suddenly the corners of Donny's mouth started to move upwards and before I knew it, we were both laughing.

"Oh, my god, Irma, I'm really sorry!" Don tried to say through his chortles.

"That's okay! Don't worry! It's a story to tell the kids!" I managed to choke out. "Let me tell you about the time I got felt up by a turtle!" And we both fell out laughing again.

We managed to pull ourselves together after a few minutes, and Donny said "I was about to go pick out a movie to watch. I've been working on stuff all day and I kind of want a break. Do you wanna come pick one out with me?"

"Sure!" I said enthusiastically.

We set off for his room where he kept his movies. As I clambered up into the train-car where he slept I gasped as I looked around. "This is so cool, Don!" And it was. He had decorated his room with lamps shaped like dragons sitting on carefully constructed shelves, and from the ceiling he had hung a giant mobile of the solar system. Each planet had a light inside, and so they all glowed. The sun shone the brightest of course.

"I'm glad you like it," he replied. "Took me forever to finish that thing. I had to re-wire it like seven times before it would work correctly."

"Impressive."

"Thanks." Don pulled a black CD case out of a nightstand and opened it up, flipping through the pages.

"Oh! You've got Clue!"

"You like Clue?" he asked me delightedly.

"Who doesn't like Clue besides blasphemers and heathens?" I demanded.

"Indeed. Hey, do you like the Three Amigos?"

"I LOVE the Three Amigos!"

"Me too!" Donny and I grinned at each other. "So which do we watch?" he asked.

"Why not both? Movie night!" I exclaimed.

And with that, we rushed to the den- to find Raph already setting up the TV. He saw us standing there and frowned. "What? You comin' to argue over fake blood again?"

"Fake blood?" Donny looked at me confused.

"Long story," I told him. "We were coming here to watch some movies."

"I'm already watching a movie," the older brother said, crossing his arms. "I was checkin' out that Spartecus movie you told me about."

"The one with Kirk Douglas, right?"

"Yep."

"That's a great movie," I said, looking at Donny. "Let's watch that first and then we can watch the other movies."

The purple-clad ninja shrugged. "Sure, I don't mind."

"Yay!" I practically skipped to the giant sofa and plopped down on the side with an arm, getting comfy.

"That's my spot," glowered Raph at me.

"Not anymore!" I sang out.

With a growl, he sat down on the other side of the couch, taking the other arm. "Now it's gonna feel weird for the whole movie!" he groused.

"Wah, wah, wah."

Donny took his seat beside me, trying to hide his grin.

We turned the movie on and sat there for a few minutes. Then Raph said angrily "It's just music playing! Where's the violence?"

"Relax!" I said. "It's an old movie. They used to play music before the show started so people would know to go take their seats."

"Music is good." We looked behind us to see Mikey. "Dude! Mikey! Come join us!" I called.

"Sure! Movies rock!"

I had a thought. "Hey, we should get Leo too! He'd love this movie!"

The guys glanced at each other. "That… may take some convincing."

"Easy!" I said cheerily. "Just give me a minute." I got up and went to Catnap Corridor, and just as I said, a minute later I was back with Leo in tow. "It's great, it's educational. A little relaxation every few days is good for the body. It relieves tension. Even Splinter watches Soap Operas."

"Irma, if it'll get you to stop yanking on my arm, I'll do just about anything."

* * *

><p>About an hour later, we were sitting there during the intermission, and I was arguing with Raph.<p>

"This movie isn't just about the VIOLENCE! It's about the STRUGGLE! It's a battle for FREEDOM! How can you not SEE that?" I was once again sitting up on my knees on the sofa vehemently trying to prove my point.

Raph had one leg on the ground and the other on the couch, and he was just as into it as I was. "I'm NOT looking past that! I'm saying that the whole movie is about how a bunch of slaves were RUNNING AWAY! They're gladiators, and all they're doing is trying to run!"

"I find it ironic that they try to make the actual props as authentic as possible, like the lack of stirrups, and yet they totally made up Spartacus's history. He was a soldier who defected, he wasn't born into slavery." Donny had of course known about the real Spartacus before the movie even started. He knew everything.

"I love the scenes with Spartacus and Varinia. It's so touching," sniffed Mikey.

"I can't believe I never knew about this movie before," said Leo. "I can see why it's a classic."

* * *

><p>The final scene was playing. Varinia was holding Spartacus's son up to him, and before she left, she was begging him to die because he was being crucified.<p>

I was sniffing and wiping a tear away. Leo and Don both looked sad. Raph looked disappointed and… touched, perhaps?

Mikey was bawling. "It was SO beautiful!" he cried, and blew his nose on a Kleenex. "It was touching and… and…" another round of tears poured from his eyes.

I sniffled some more too. "It was. It totally was... I need a tissue too." Mikey tossed the box to me and I grabbed a few of my own before passing it back.

"You were right, Irma," said Leo. "It was good for me to sit back and enjoy something of quality like this occasionally."

"I need to add this to my collection. Good choice, Raph," said Donny.

We sat in silence for a moment, all of us basking in the glory of such a great film. Then a thought came to me. "Hey, has anyone seen April or Casey?"

They thought about it for a moment. "Hmm. No, I can't say that I have," Leo looked behind us. "Not since dinner, anyway."

"Huh…" I stood up and stretched my arms up. "I think maybe I'll go look for them. Maybe they'll want to join us for the next movie."

There was a round of voices that amounted to "Go ahead" and I walked down to the spare room. I heard sounds coming from inside. Assuming that it was April and Casey talking, I walked to the door and put my hand on the doorknob…

… and then I heard some very suspicious sounds coming from inside the room. I froze and then leaned in to press my ear against the door. My eyes grew wide and my jaw fell down somewhere into the center of the earth. I instantly jumped back. I had been married twice and had had enough flings to recognize the sounds coming from inside. I turned around and walked briskly back down the hallway to the TV room, and suddenly a little giggle burst forth from my lips. I had a feeling that April wouldn't be thinking about her eyebrows for the next couple of days.

I got back to the sofa and sat down in my spot, shaking my head and giggling again.

The boys looked at me curiously. "What?" demanded Raph.

I looked over at the four of them. "Let's just say that I don't think April and Casey will be having too many fights now." A thought struck me. "Also, I think I'm going to be kicked out of the room. Which I don't really mind because I'll never be able to look at that bed the same way ever again."

Raph instantly dissolved into laughter. Don and Leo blushed furiously. Mikey looked confused. "Why won't you be able to look at the bed again?"

I leaned over to get a better view of him. "You know that song, Let's Get It On, by Marvin Gaye?"

"Yeah…"

"You know what parts they play that song in movies, right?"

"Ye-OOOOOOH, okay, I get it now."

Raph shook his head. Then he looked at me with a very evil smirk. "Sooo, Irma… Where you gonna sleep now? Now that Casey's gone, I've got room."

"RAPHAEL! Have you no shame?" shouted Leo at his delinquent brother.

"What, it was a joke!" Raph said. Then he looked at me again. "Unless you'd say yes. Then it's not a joke."

"You can stay in my room," Mikey offered. "I've got a bunk bed."

"Irma will stay in MY room, and I will sleep in Mikey's room." Donatello's voice held a tone of authority, and Leo nodded his approval.

"Aw, maaaaan," groaned Mikey. "You always make me go to bed early."

"Because you stay up until 4 AM!"

"You will ALL be going to bed early tonight." Splinter's voice came from his room. He could be really loud when he wanted to. "Tomorrow will be a very long day for you four."

More groans and sighs from Raph and Mikey. "Yes, Master," from Leo and Don. They stood and I followed. I let the other three get ahead of myself and Don, and I pulled him aside to whisper mischievously "And tomorrow you'll be able to say you've had a girl in your bed."

He gave a snort of laughter and nudged me as we walked, making me stumble a little. "And you get the pleasure of saying you've been between my sheets."

I gave a gasp of laughter before smothering it with my hand. I had to say, I was surprised by Don. I never would have expected him to be the bantering type. I looked over at him walking. "So how come you don't freak out when I say silly things like that anyway?"

He blinked at me. "Um… Well… I guess it's because I know we're only playing. And you're so calm about it, so I guess I feel more at ease."

It made sense. I faked a pout and said "Aw… And I was hoping to get you to squirm with my ribald jokes." He rolled his eyes and Mikey teasingly called back "Are we gonna have to watch you two flirt for the rest of the night? Hurry it up!"

"Don't be jealous, Mikey," I called up to him in an equally teasing tone. "You know you're the only turtle for me!"

We laughed and as we passed by the room where April and Casey were, Raph made sure to shout some suggestions to Casey through the door while the rest of us told him to be quiet, myself included. I may be a shameless tease, but I felt awkward listening to two of my best friends having sex and then offering suggestions on how to do it.

"I can't believe you DID that!" I hissed at him as I ran up to walk next to him. I slapped his arm lightly. "How're you going to be able to look them in the eyes tomorrow?" He poked my side and I squeaked and jumped to the side. "I let you flirt with my brother; you can let me tease my friends."

"I am not _flirting_ with him! I'm _teasing_ him!" I protested. I thought about it for a second and then asked. "Also, which brother are you referring to?"

* * *

><p>"So I'll be in Mikey's room if you need anything," Don was saying as I was let into his room. "I would ask that if you touch anything, just try not to break it. Most of the things in here are break-proof, but just to be safe."<p>

"Don't smash anything against the walls, got it." I gave him a thumbs up to show my understanding. "And thanks for letting me stay in your room. 'Preciate it."

"Not a problem. So… um… I guess I'll see you in the morning."

"Yep. G'night." I stared to turn away from him as he climbed out of the car, but then I remembered something. "Oh! Do you need to grab anything out of here? In case I'm asleep when you wake up."

He gave me a smile that was almost cocky. "If I do, then I can get it without waking you up. Don't worry."

"Right. Ninja stuff. Alright then. Sweet dreams and all that."

He gave me a little wave and then walked over to Mikey's room/car. I closed the door and turned out the lights in my own car and walked over to Donny's bed, kicking out of my shorts and climbing under the covers. It was a lot more comfortable than I expected it would be. I had thought that since he slept in a shell, he wouldn't care too much about the sleeping accommodations. Of course, sleeping in a shell had to be pretty uncomfortable, I reasoned. As I relaxed, I could hear muffled voices coming from the other cart.

I tried to ignore it, but I noticed that I could hear the voices somewhat clearly if I paid attention. I normally wouldn't have, but the topic of conversation was of particular interest to me.

As far as I could transcribe it in my mind, it went something like this:

_M: Hey, Donny?_

_D: What, Mikey?_

_M: Whatcha think of Irma?_

_D: She's not bad. Why?_

_M: I like her. She reads Sonic the Hedgehog comics too._

I grinned at this. I couldn't believe he remembered that one comment I made concerning his comics.

_D: And that's what really matters, isn't it. (This was said in what I imagine was a sarcastic tone.) We shouldn't let our guard down too much. We still don't know much about her._

_M: Oh, come on. You don't think she'd take pictures of us and sell them or something, do you? She wouldn't betray us. She'd make too much noise doing it anyway. We'd hear her five miles away._

At this point, I was tempted to throw something at the wall, but refrained.

_D: I don't think she'd betray us on purpose._

_M: _(A sigh here)_ Yeah, I know what you mean._

Well, _I _didn't!

_M: But I still like her. I think Splinter does too._

_D: She cleaned up the pandemonium that was in kitchen. He probably wants to set her up with one of us now._

Dear Lord above, I really hoped he was joking.

_M: He's probably just glad that she isn't curled up in a corner trying to convince herself it's all a bad dream._

_D: _(a laugh)_ You're probably right._

_M: But she's nice. I hope she can be like April and Casey. That way we'll have three people to mooch pizza off of._

Silence for a while. And then-

_M: Is it just me, or was she not wearing a bra?_

_D: Uh… Well…_

At this point I thought it best to announce my presence. "Sorry, I didn't have time to pack a spare and the one I was wearing needed to be washed," I said loudly through the walls of the car.

I instantly heard a _bang!_ like something was being hit, and a voice say "Oh, crap!"

I grinned to myself. I heard one of them call out weakly through the walls "Sorry, Irma!"

"That's okay," I called back. "And I like you guys too. Also I take terrible pictures."

I heard Mikey go "Yaaaay!" and then I curled up and drifted off.

* * *

><p>Next chapter, the humans head home and the turtles get their Lair back to themselves. Oh, boy.<p>

Again, the interaction between the turtles and Irma was _supposed_ to go differently, but due to general uncooperative natures of CERTAIN characters that I shall not name (it's all of them), the plot train jumped the tracks, went down the hill where the rabbit burrows were, and then took a vacation at the beach. Basically, it didn't go as planned.

I'll do my best to try to get a chapter up next Monday as usual, but I can't promise anything. BUT, I'll be writing away during the car rides, so it's not like I won't be doing anything at all.

Reviews and constructive criticism are fun to read and fun to reply to. (Hint, hint, hint. HINT.)


	9. Chapter Nine

Hey, people! I'm back! Three weddings in ten days in three different states. I'm impressed with myself! AND I caught a bride's bouquet! Oh, boy. Now if I could just find myself a boyfriend...

True to my word, I wrote a BUNCH over the road trip, so I'll be updating again pretty soon. I'm just gonna do a couple-day break in-between, but stay tuned!

Still don't own TMNT, and still owe my beta readers my thanks. Enjoy!

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><p><strong>Chapter Nine<strong>

"Irma, I think we should talk about something important." I was sitting at the table in the kitchen eating (yet again) a slice of pizza for lunch. The boys (when did I start thinking of them as the boys?) were training with Splinter, and Casey was working on something in the Lab. April was sitting across from me, drinking a cup of coffee.

"Yes, your eyebrows are starting to grow back," I told her, giggling as her hands flew up to feel. She scowled at me for making her do that again. "But seriously, you DO look better." We both did. Our bandages were gone, her arms were healed, and my giant head-bruise was gone. I had even had April do some workouts with me to burn off all the pizza calories. If my clothes didn't look like I had stolen them off a hobo, I would have said I didn't look too bad.

"Thanks. But we need to talk-"

"I accept your apology for kicking me out of the bed." She flushed a little at this and I grinned. "I'm just teasing you. I'm really happy that you two are getting along again."

She smiled at me, a real one, like I hadn't seen for a while. "Thanks, Irma. I appreciate it. But seriously, we DO need to talk."

"Okay. What's up?" I picked up the pizza to take a bite.

"We're going home in a couple days."

I froze, the pizza halfway to my mouth. "Home? Really?" I was at once filled with excitement and a little bit of sorrow. Excitement because I was going to go home and be in my own apartment, and sorrow because I knew that once I was home I'd probably never see the turtles again. I was a risk and I knew it. It was sad, but that was life, I guessed. But to be honest, I was pretty sure they were getting sick of me anyway. Being cooped up for so long had me on the edge all the time, like any second I was going to open up a can of verbal whoop-ass on someone. And that was exactly what I did once the one straw pushed me over the edge. And that one straw was what April said next.

She nodded at me in response to my previous query. "Yeah. We think it's safe enough to head back, and we should."

"We? Who's we?"

"Well… I guess-"

"We is everyone except me I see." I was instantly angry. She knew I despised it when people discussed important things without me, especially when it _concerned_ me. The can of whoop-ass was officially opened. "So, everyone else can talk about me since I don't count, right? It only concerns me and my life, and I don't have an opinion now, right? I see how it is. Thanks, April. Very nice of y'all. Really. Too kind." I was so angry I didn't even care that the vernacular I tried so hard to hide was coming out. I stood up furiously.

April looked alarmed. "Irma, I didn't mean-"

"You know what, April? I really am not even surprised. I mean, you've only been lying to me for years, so why should it be any different now?" I strode from the kitchen with as much dignity as I could. My stride of dignity was a bit ruined when the doors to the training room flew open and I tripped and fell onto my face in surprise, but I pretended I had done it in a very graceful way that hadn't made me look as stupid as I knew I did.

"Yo, Irma!" I heard Mikey say concernedly. "You okay?"

"Bite me!" I said angrily, and then continued my furious pace.

"Irma! Irma, don't be that way! Please, Irma! I'm sorry, I wasn't thinking! Oh, come on!" I completely ignored April. I was going to march into the guest room with dignity and close the door with dignity and then take a nap- Wait… That was April and CASEY'S room now. I wouldn't touch that bed with a ten foot pole. So I turned my march and went straight back into Don's room (where I had been sleeping for the past few nights, thanks to Casey and April's reunion. I was tempted to slam the door behind me, but since it was half made of glass, I decided that was a bad idea. So I closed it as loudly as I could without worrying about breaking it. I then sat indignantly on the bed with my arms crossed.

Someone knocked on the door. "Irma, please come out." It was Donatello.

"No!" I shouted angrily. "Just pretend I'm not here and ignore me, since that's what you were doing when you were making plans without me!"

"Irma," I heard Casey call out, "a person would have to be deaf and blind to ignore you."

"Then you must be both, because you and April haven't said hardly more than twelve words to me for these two weeks! Especially you, Casey!" I shouted even louder. "I may be new to this whole turtle ninja thing, but that doesn't make me invisible! Jerks!"

There was some murmuring outside. "Go away!" I shouted again. "I'm fuming!"

"Irma." A strong, wise, and utterly commanding voice rang out. "Please step outside."

Crrraaaaap… I had the feeling that saying No to Splinter would be like saying _Hello, Grim Reaper. Do come inside!_

After a few seconds of mental debate, I stood and opened the door, looking as irritable as I could. One look at Splinter's stern face totally melted all my resolve away. I moved to stand in front of him and without him saying a word, I immediately spoke. "I apologize for saying bite me, Mikey. And I apologize for storming off. And I apologize for trying to use your room as a barricade, Don. "

Splinter patted my arm kindly. "Come have some tea with me, Irma."

It didn't strike me until he was walking away that he called me Irma instead of Miss Irma.

* * *

><p>I sat alone with Master Splinter inside his room. It was completely Spartan in decoration, but completely Zen. I sat on the other side of him, Indian style, with a cup of hot tea in my hands. He sat in the same position with his own tea as well. We both took a deep sip and gave a sigh- his one of contentment, and mine one of frustration.<p>

"Tell me, child, what is troubling you?" Splinter asked over the rim of his cup.

I gave an irritated sigh. "I dunno... I guess I'm tired of being stuck down here. I mean, not that you guys haven't been wonderful- you're great. I've just never been really good with having to sit in one place. With no options I mean. So..."

"So you wish to feel that you have some amount of control, and when we spoke without you, it was taken from you." I stared slack-jawed at Splinter for a moment before shutting my mouth. He was _good_.

"But," he continued, "that is not all, is it?" He watched me over the rip of his teacup as he brought it up to his lips. I squirmed uneasily, tempted to make something up, but I knew that he would know if I was lying in a heartbeat. So, I decided to just get it out there and save us both the time.

"It's just… Look, I know that once I'm home, I'm never going to see anyone here again, which is sad, but I guess I understand. What bothers me is that they just… they just went off and talked about people that tried to kill April, and probably me. And she's my best friend. And she didn't even want to share that with me. And Casey does the same thing. Why should I be friends with people who lie to me? It's my life too! If they were just going to pretend like this never happened and keep me in the dark again, I don't see why I should bother trying."

Splinter listened quietly while I went on my tirade. He took another sip of tea and then spoke. "You fear being rejected, first by your old friends, and now by your new."

I did the open-close-open-close mouth thing again for a while. Then I muttered darkly into my own teacup. "Yeah, I guess." I took a sip and then said "But I understand that you guys probably don't exactly want anyone else knowing about you. So, I won't tell anyone, but I- if you don't- what I mean to say is-"

"Irma." His soft voice stopped me from talking. "My sons are not going to stop talking to you simply because they have not known you as long as they have April or Casey."

For some reason, the second he said this, I felt like something that had been squeezing my chest let go, and a breath that I didn't know I had been holding for days suddenly flew out of my lips before I could stop it. Splinter's whiskers twitched and he smiled. "I thought that may please you." He took a long sip of his tea. "I admit that for many years, I did not wish my sons to have contact with the outside world. However… it seems they are not meant to be alone. I was once afraid that their differences would make others afraid of them."

I sipped my tea while he spoke, listening to him. He looked into the distance thoughtfully. "I am grateful that they have friends outside of our family now. It helps them, I believe, to have others to turn to when frustrated with each other."

"I understand why you are unhappy with the situation you have found yourself in. But you must realize that it was out of concern for my sons that April and Casey said nothing. And I do not believe they excluded you for any reason other than they have been used to acting by themselves. They are unused to including you."

I had finished off my tea at this point. "I know. I overreacted. I guess."

"It is good you recognize this." His tea also finished, he began to stand. I got up and helped him to his feet. "Thank you," he said. We walked to the doors of his room and saw the rest of the group sitting around in the den. We all waited for Splinter to speak. "Tomorrow," he began, "you will all go to the apartment of Casey and April to insure that it is safe. Then you will escort Irma to her own home, and do the same there. At all times, be cautious." He looked at me. "You are welcome here whenever you wish. Now." He moved to the TV. "I am going to watch my stories. You children play." He had a small grin on his face as he spoke.

I stood there with the boys and Casey and April in awkward silence for a moment before I spoke. "I can make burgers if someone makes brownies for dessert." And with that, all was well again.

* * *

><p>Okay, so I lied about them heading home in this chapter. I didn't <em>intend<em> for this to happen! It just did. Blame the characters. Plus, I felt it was time for an Irma-Fit. She's a drama queen, and after two weeks of essentially being under house arrest and powerless, any little thing could have set her off.

This was a much shorter chapter than the other two mostly because I felt that this was a chapter in of itself and chapters are done when they're done, dangit!

Everything I do, I do for love. And reviews. Reviews too.


	10. Chapter Ten

Okay. I lied about updating on Friday. But at least I have one up today. And I wrote another chapter. So that's something. But I've got a sibling and a cousin getting married and I'm a bridesmaid in both; I know I'm fantastic but I can only do so much here.

This is one of those "quiet but secret-y type things are happening in the cupboards and closets" chapters.

TMNT is not mine, nor any of the characters within.

Thanks to Colonel Pop, and GoodSmileGirl for beta-reading.

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><p><strong>Chapter Ten<strong>

The morning that we left to go home, I was awakened from my peaceful slumber by a gentle shaking and a soft voice in my ear. It was Don, trying to get me up in the nicest way he could. But I was firmly entrenched in his warm blankets and soft pillows and I was having none of it. Eventually Casey got me up by ripping the blankets off me completely, leaving me freezing and exposed to the air.

Although I made my displeasure very clear, the others decided not to take notice. I was politely ordered to put on the clothes I had brought with me, now clean, and we all hurriedly ate some cereal for breakfast. As we ate, Leo began speaking.

"Your apartments should be safe. The explosion was in that warehouse you were looking through, so whoever did it probably didn't want a lot of bodies left over. That's not likely to change. I wouldn't worry about someone coming to your places to kill you."

"Goody," I muttered, still sleepy and groggy.

He ignored me and continued. "We're getting you home before the sun rises, so we'll have to hurry."

"The sun hasn't risen yet? What time is it?" I demanded.

"Exactly 4 AM right now," said Don. "Now pay attention. You can nap when you get home."

"We'll be traveling the sewers for the most part, of course, and luckily both your apartment buildings are close to manholes. It's getting inside that might be tricky. We're going to use fire-escapes to get into both apartments, so if you have any fear of heights, Irma… Deal with it."

"Ah, how lovely to hear such considerate words this early."

"Wise-ass," muttered Raph, but he grinned a little as he said it.

And so, with our cereal eaten and the plans laid out, we went on our merry way. As we walked, Donatello was sure to tell me the subtle markings and the signs that showed the way to the Lair "In case you want to drop by again." I could have hugged him had we not been traveling in sewers, where one wrong hug could trip us up and land us in a bunch of God Knows What.

Just like the plan went, once we got to April and Casey's building, the two of them climbed up with Leo, Raph, and Don, and I waited below with Mikey for the rest of the brothers to return. Once they did, we continued to my own home. The other two and I said brief goodbyes, knowing that we'd be stopping by each other's homes fairly frequently, just like before.

Eventually we got to a ladder where we all stopped. I looked up. "I take it this is my stop."

"Ladies first," said Mikey, with a flourish.

"Alrighty then. Catch me if I fall, would you?"

"Well NOW you've just given me ideas!"

"Can you two cool it for five seconds?" snapped Raph. "Now hurry it up."

With that, I began my assent up the ladder until we got to the manhole cover. "Just slip it to the side slowly," I heard Leo say from somewhere on the ladder beneath me. "I'm gonna have to wash my hands for ages after this," I mumbled to myself. Slowly and carefully, I pushed the lid back, trying to be as careful as I could. Thankfully, it wasn't as heavy as it looked- I managed fairly easily.

As I crawled out of the sewers into the night air, I gave a long, happy sigh. The feel of the wind on my skin felt so good after being stuck underground for weeks.

"Damn. I was hoping for another orgasm moan." Raphael clambered out next, followed by Leo, who instantly smacked his brother hard on the head. They did a growly thing at each other while Mikey and Don climbed out. "This is your apartment building, Irma?" Don asked as the two oldest kept trying to kill each other with their eyes.

"Yep," I said, looking up at the 1930's apartment building. It wasn't the most gorgeous building in the city- according to some, it was completely dilapidated. But it was cool in the summer, warm in the winter- and the rent was super low. We were luckily on my side of the building, and the fire escape was further into the alleyway, making it almost completely safe to climb up. I say ALMOST completely because the entire fire escape was rusted over and looked like any second it was going to crumble to the ground.

We all stared at it for a moment. "So… Ladies first," Raph said, gesturing towards the ladder.

"No, no," I responded. "You can go first. Ninja expert and all that."

"Your house, you first."

"Thought you were supposed to be a bodyguard or something."

"We are," said Leo gruffly. He gently nudged past me and began to climb. "It's perfectly fine," he said as he began to climb. "Irma comes next. Come on."

I gave a sigh and looked back at the other turtles. "If I fall, someone catch me please."

Mikey did a salute. I assumed that was a "Sure."

Without another word, I began to climb, with Leo in front of me and the others in the back. I made comments as we passed the apartments. "Mr. Koll's apartment. He smokes."

Second floor. "The Franklins. Their kids are unholy nightmares."

Third floor. This was when the ladder started creaking. "Old Mrs. Young's place. She collects cat figurines and talks to pigeons."

"Old Mrs. Young?" I heard Don ask behind me.

"She's old but her last name is Young. Old Mrs. Young." I explained. "My apartment is the next one."

"Thank God," Raph muttered.

Leo made me wait for a moment while he checked the windows by the fire escape. Then he called down to me "Are they unlocked?"

I thought for a moment. "I don't think so."

"Of course they aren't," I heard the leader mutter above me.

"I heard that." He ignored me and then did something complex with his fingers, and then my window slid open. He crawled in, looked around for a moment, and then popped his head back outside. "It's clear. Come in."

"I should be the one to say that," I said as he took my hand and helped me in through the window. I immediately walked through my small but suddenly beautiful apartment. I walked through the kitchen, the small dining area, the living room, the bedroom, the office, and the one bathroom. It wasn't nearly as spacious as the Lair, but it was mine, and it was full of my books, my movies, my pictures, my clothes, my things, everything familiar. I did a small happy dance as the rest of the guys clambered into my living room. "Welcome to my home!" I said, spreading my arms out wide to them, grinning broadly. "And my home is your home! Make yourself at home!"

"Why do you keep saying home?" asked Raph, looking irritated as usual.

"Because it's such a wonderful word!" I said happily.

Don shook his head, laughing softly. "Glad we could help."

I grinned happily. Then a thought struck me. "Oh! Oh! Mikey, Mikey, come here, I want to show you something!" I drug him to my office to show him my collection of games. Then I pulled Donatello to my giant bookshelf that covered an entire wall of my apartment to show him my complete collection of Shakespeare, Milton and Chaucer. Then I shoved Raph over to my TV to show him all my DVDs. Then I pulled out all my history textbooks for Leo to look at.

They went along with my excitement for a few minutes, and then Leo put a hand on my shoulder. "Irma," he said firmly. "Thank you very much for accepting us and trying to make us feel welcome. But we really do need to be getting back to the Lair now."

"Oh! Right. Of course." I walked over to the window where they started to climb out again. "Be careful," I said.

"You too," Don was the first out onto the fire escape.

"You guys will come to visit and stuff, right?"

"Sure! As long as you have pizza!" Mikey did a flip out the window to show off.

Raph grunted at me and gave a little wave as he crawled out.

"We'll be checking up on you fairly regularly, so don't worry," Leo told me as he went outside.

"Don't be strangers!" I called softly to them, leaning out of my window as they climbed back down. I watched them crawl back into the sewer and close the lid behind them. I turned to look at the clock in my kitchen. It was 5:30 AM. I gave a little groan and headed to my bedroom. The blinds were already closed, so I stripped down and got into my big, warm, soft bed, and promptly fell back asleep.

* * *

><p>It was 10 in the morning when I woke up next. My eyes had adjusted to the sunshine again, and after being underground for so long, I was excited to be able to see without the aid of an overhead light. I hoped up and began to get ready for the new day. I was excited, so I wore a red skirt and a red vest over a long-sleeved black turtleneck, with my cute black heels and black purse. I put my hair back in a bun to keep it out of my face, and headed down to the police station at 11, where I promised I would meet April to let the department know I was alive and kicking. April was already there, looking ready and refreshed, and also very excited to be outside again. Casey was with her, and the three of us went inside to get our things and explain what happened.<p>

"Remember," April whispered to me before we went into the office, "Just let us do the talking."

"Right. No talking," I said, a little nervously, and so I decided that the best way to not say anything was to not pay attention. And I didn't. I sat there for about three hours, staying completely silent by counting the number of tiles on the floor, and inwardly wincing about the amount of paperwork I knew I'd be welcomed back to the next day at work.

"Miss Langinstein," a voice said, sending me out of my reverie, "Is what they're saying true? That the three of you were so shaken, you just went on a road trip for two weeks?"

"Uh… Yeah. Of course. Whatever they said. Lovely time of year in… Kansas."

The policemen's eyes narrowed. "Thought they said you went to Connecticut."

"Of course! Kansas City Connecticut." _Smooth_, I thought to myself.

Casey looked like he was in pain and April was pinching the bridge of her nose between her fingers. The policeman gave me another strange look and then sighed, handing myself and April some paperwork to fill out. "Just turn them into the front desk and your things will be returned to you."

We said thanks as the man left, and we began writing.

"Kansas City Connecticut. Wow, Irma," muttered Casey.

"You guys told me not to talk," I replied defensively.

"When we said 'Don't talk,' we didn't mean, 'Pay no attention to anything whatsoever,'" said April calmly as she wrote.

"Oh… Oops."

We turned our clipboards full of our personal info into the desk, like we were instructed. April and I got our purses, and her clothes. Casey didn't get anything since he didn't disappear from the hospital. I did a quick search of my purse to make sure that everything was in there, and April did the same for hers. Then a thought occurred to me. "You know, we could have just had Casey call the station and told them that we were on a vacation before, like when we first left the hospital. Then we wouldn't have had to do the paperwork." April and Casey looked at me, and then at each other.

"We should remember that," remarked Casey.

I pulled my cell phone out. It was dead, of course. But my credit and debit cards were still in my wallet, along with my driver's license and keys. "Your car is in the parking lot," the woman at the desk told me. "Also, here's a bag with the other belongings you had." She handed me a plastic bag that hand my magazines and puzzle boxes, all of them looking undamaged. I thanked her and walked outside with April and Casey to give them a ride back to their apartment. "Hello, Gary, my old friend," I said fondly to the steering wheel."

"You have really got to stop naming your belongings, Irma," said April, who sat next to me in the passenger seat. "You're almost as bad as Michelangelo when he plays with his food."

"You're just jealous that I have a car with an awesome name," I said, and I pulled out of the parking lot and began to drive. "Okay…" I began, determined to breech the topic that I hadn't had the courage to before. "Why did someone try to blow you up?"

"Because she doesn't know when to let something go," said Casey from the backseat. "We tell her to let something go, and does she? Oh, no, God forbid that she let something go. No, no, she has to do everything that we tell her not to. We say, April, this client is obviously shifty. Don't listen to him. Take the job with the nice elderly woman who wants to dig up her family's genealogy in Scotland, we say. Does she listen? No, of course not. That would be too easy."

"I was trying to follow a lead on Seiobo's Nectar that brought me to a warehouse and when I went in, I found a bomb on a timer. I had about enough time to dive through a window before it went off." April spoke while ignoring Casey.

"So, basically someone is looking for the artwork and not willing to share it," I summed up.

"Pretty much," said April.

"Just DROP it, damn it!" said Casey angrily. "If they're willing to kill for it, just give it to them. It'll probably come back to bite them in the ass later."

April turned around to look her boyfriend in the eyes. "I am NOT going to give up on this! Hardly anyone has heard of this piece of artwork, no one has written anything on the artist, and by all accounts he shouldn't be of any importance whatsoever. And yet someone is trying to kill me for it! That has to mean something! Why can't you guys appreciate that?" The hurt in her voice almost made me forget that she was ignoring the fact that someone tried to kill her for it.

"Look, April, it's probably just a moldy old scroll that someone thinks is lined with rubies or some such crap. I say just give it to them." April stared at me so hard I thought I was going to explode. "Or not…" I amended weakly.

"See, this is what she does, Irma. I love you, April, I really do," Casey said. "but you're insane."

"I'm not the one dating my own boss," she retorted.

"Touché," I commented. "So what do we do now? Keep looking for this thing? I mean, if they're already going to try to kill us…"

"Irma, don't encourage her!"

"Look, Casey, I know you and the guys are concerned for my safety," April began.

"And mine, I should hope," I interjected.

"-but the fact of the matter is, we don't know that that's even why someone was after me! I mean, in all the years of working as an antique collector, nothing like that has ever happened. I mean, for all we know, it could be the Foot!"

"The hell is the Foot?" I asked.

"That's even more reason to drop this thing!" Casey said, not noticing my question. "Maybe the only reason they found you was because you were looking for this thing."

"Oh, please! After being an accomplice in killing their leader and blowing up their base of operations? Yeah, they totally forgot about me from that." April looked over at me. "And the Foot is that ninja group that Master Splinter told you about, remember, Irma?"

"I thought that was the Head."

"Do you pay attention at all?" snapped Casey.

"Hey, I had a concussion! And I wouldn't be making comments if I were you, Mr. Not There When You Need Him!"

"Oh, that is SO typical of a girl! You screw up ONCE and they hold it over you for the rest of your life!"

"Would you like to get out and walk? 'Cause I can pull Gary over right here if you want."

He grumbled a bit from the backseat, but the rest of the ride to their apartment was relatively quiet. Or at least as quiet as the three of us could be.

* * *

><p>After I dropped off the lovebirds, I went to the library to make sure that they hadn't set it on fire while I had been gone. I was relieved to see that the building was still standing, although my return was a bit more happy than I had anticipated.<p>

"IRMA!" Kelly had screamed the second I walked through the door. The next thing I knew, she was clinging to me and saying something about how the library had been complete chaos while I was gone. I sighed and told her I'd be back the next day. Then I went over to my office area. Just as I had suspected, tons of papers were stacked up in my inbox. I gave another sigh and decided to get some wine on my way home. I started to leave the building when-

"Irma!" I turned around right away to see Ken coming out from behind a bookshelf, a million dollar smile on his face and looking like someone had just told him Christmas had come early. "You're back!"

My own face became wreathed in smiles as well as he came over to hug me tightly. I hugged him back, wondering why I had never noticed how nice his arms felt around me. He pulled back after a moment and asked "How long have you been back? Are you okay? I kept calling you but you never answered."

"I'm fine, just got back today, and I am so sorry. I forgot my cell phone at home and I had to call you from a pay phone." It was partially true.

"I was worried about you," he said softly. "I mean, I come in one day, and Kelly tells me that you've dropped off the face of the earth. Did you really get attacked in the hospital?"

"Giant condor, yes." He looked confused. I decided to take advantage of this and changed the topic. "So, uh, what about you these past couple weeks? Have you been okay? How's work been?" I took his arm in mine and gently steered him towards the front doors, leading him away from the library.

"I've been fine, I guess. A little worried and disappointed about missing our date, but okay besides that."

I was touched at his concern. I gave him a smile as we walked down the steps of the building. "Hey, I have an idea. Why don't we have a quiet movie night at my place? We can order some take out and just talk. Nothing fancy."

"I think I like that idea," he said. "How about Wednesday?"

"What day is today?"

"It's Sunday." He looked at me quizzically. "You didn't remember?"

"Been a long vacation," I answered. "Hard to come back to reality from that, y'know?"

"Yeah, I guess so." He looked around for a moment. "Well, hey, I gotta get back to work, and I'm sure you have to go someplace too."

I nodded. "But I'll see you tomorrow, maybe? I'm coming into work then."

"Yeah, yeah, sounds great."

"Alrighty! See you then!" And with that, we went our separate ways. I was already planning what to wear.

* * *

><p>I spent the rest of that afternoon dusting and vacuuming the apartment, as well as finishing the laundry I hadn't folded before the ordeal at the hospital. After that I scoured the bathroom and the tile floors in the kitchen area. Then I cleaned out the fridge and threw away everything that had gone bad, which was a lot. I was going to have to light so many scented candles to get the smell of soured milk away that it wasn't even funny.<p>

But when my home was once again clean and smelled new and I had firmly put my stamp on the place once more, I sat down in front of my little TV, turned on the news, and began to fiddle with my puzzle box once more. I couldn't really say what I liked so much about the things, other than that they gave me something to do when I was bored, and I felt smart when I finished them. The one I had in my lap, I had been working on for some time before the Incident, so I was well on my way to finishing it already. I had to get myself reacquainted with it of course- you can't just put down and pick up puzzles, otherwise you forget where you started and what you've already done. But I was determined to pick it up again, and successfully.

I had plugged my cell phone in to charge up. There were several missed calls and voice mails, two from Kelly, five from Ken, and one from my twin sister Velma who wanted to know if I knew the author to the book _Carmilla_.

Realization hit me suddenly, that there was a good chance that my life was going to be boring again now. I had never thought of it as boring before, but really, what else could it be called, now that I had met a bunch of talking turtles and their rat master? True, there had been a distinct lack of bombs, gunshots, and the like, but it was still pretty exciting. With a sigh, I turned my attention back to the news. Maybe there was something on there that would keep me from thinking of my boring life.

The voice of the news reporter droned from the speakers. _There has been a reported theft from the Metropolitan Museum of Art. According to the sources, the theft took place last night at roughly one in the morning. Although the piece of art in question was not on display at the time, it is nonetheless a loss to the artists who so fondly followed the work of the artist, Sir James Berkly, before his death._

_Click. _The entire left hand side of my puzzle box moved to the right.

_The piece of art in question was titled Reflections in the Garden, a work inspired by the artist's long stay in rural Japan, where he reportedly apprenticed under a well-known local artisan, Hideki Shizumi._

Something snapped into place under my hands. The top of the box lifted a fraction and I slowly turned all the way around so that the decal on the top was now facing the opposite direction.

_Many have long complained about the lack of security in the vaults of the museum, but museum officials say that it is nearly impossible to get into the vaults without first going through several well guarded posts inside the building itself. Despite these assurances, many still wonder at the ability to break in, as well as the choice to steal a piece of work that, while known, is not nearly as valuable as many of the other pieces in the museum._

I pushed the decal back down onto the box. Something else clicked, and a side of the box popped out, revealing a drawer that held a wood bracelet that had pictures of cranes painted on the large beads.

_Reporting from Channel Twelve, evening news._

* * *

><p>Awww… Irma's happy to be home. Being something of a homebody myself, I can appreciate what she's going through.<p>

Remember the reviews… remember the reviews…


	11. Chapter Eleven

Ah, I love the smell of internet in the morning. I don't own the Ninja Turtles, I don't own Irma, and if not for my beta readers, this story might not even be here. Round of applause to them.

Also, special thank you to all the reviewers out there! I'll keep the goodness coming just for you

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><p><strong>Chapter Eleven<strong>**  
><strong>

Monday was ridiculously chaotic. I had anticipated some disorder in the library since it was close to midterms, not outright mayhem. I had no idea what started it- all the librarians had different explanations.

All I knew was that at some point, someone had knocked down an entire bookshelf, which in turn knocked down the one next to it, which knocked down the one next to that one, and so on and so forth. No one seemed able to adequately describe the situation. On top of that, the Metropolitan Museum of Art, which worked very closely with our university, was hoping that we could help it to find some way to restore credibility to its once sterling reputation since the theft had taken place. I myself didn't have a part in that, but I was forced to deal with people running through the library all day, looking for records on past exhibitions that we had taken place in and what we could do to help the museum out now. I spent very little time at the desk myself. I was too busy helping to clean up the mess that had been made. We hadn't caught the culprit, but I promised myself that when we did, I would beat them to death with an entire set of encyclopedias.

I got home that night looking like something the cat dragged in. My feet were killing me, my hair was all messy from running around all day, and my pencil skirt and stockings did nothing to help me with my exertions. I pulled myself through the door groaning. "Uuuuurgh…"

"Every time I see you, you make these sounds. They really send off mixed messages."

I screamed and fell to the floor as Raphael stood up from his place on the sofa, an irritated expression on his face. "Geeze, can't you go one day without sounding like a banshee?"

"You scared me!" I gasped out, trying to get my heart to resume beating again.

"No, really?" He walked over to me and hauled me to my feet. "Switch to decaf, Germ."

"Oh, for the love of- he told you, didn't he?"

"Who's he and what'd he tell me?" he asked with a little smirk, going to sit back down.

"Casey told you that stupid nickname and you're sitting on my sofa, and that's my spot!" I was indignant; he had just waltzed into my home! "How'd you get in here anyway?" I asked.

He gestured towards the window that we had climbed through the day before. "Oh, right…"

"I ordered pizza. Sausage and pepperoni with extra cheese."

My eyes narrowed. "How'd you know my favorite kind of pizza?"

"Casey told me. Also told me that the best way to get you to forgive someone was to offer you a foot massage."

I blinked at him. "The best way… What?"

He shifted uncomfortably on the couch. "Well… I was trying to get this book, you see…"

It clicked in my mind. "Wait a minute… So… you…" He turned his gaze to the TV and did his best not to look me in the eye. "YOU knocked down all those books? YOU made all those shelves fall down?" He tried to sink down into the sofa. "That was like a year's worth of non-stop shelving, you inconsiderate-!"

"Do you want the foot massage or not?" He demanded.

I stared hard at him for a moment. "Give me a minute." I walked into my bedroom and quickly changed into a pair of pajama pants, tank top, and a robe. I walked back out to the couch while brushing my hair out and sat down, putting my feet onto his lap. "What the hell were you doing in the library anyway?"

Raph gave a sigh and then shifted so that he was leaning against the arm of the sofa and moved my feet. He took my right foot in his hands and began a firm but very skillful massage. I let my head lay back against the other arm of the sofa with a pleased groan. He didn't look up at my face but said "I hope you appreciate the fact that I'm not making any comments about your sex noises." I stuck my tongue out at him. He ignored me and continued gently but firmly moving his digits over my sore feet."Anyway… I was looking something up for Don. We made ourselves a fake library card a while back and he can check out books for us directly from his computer. That's how we get books usually."

I stared at him. "You made a fake library card? Actually, you know what? That's not even the surprising part. The surprising part is how you managed to get into the library without anyone noticing you. Seriously." I gestured to his shell. "I imagine it's a bit hard to hide that."

Raph looked at me. "It's a LIBRARY. As long as you stick to shelves where no one else is and wear a big jacket with a hat, no one pays any attention."

I would have liked to argue against him- but it was true. No one pays attention in a library. "Alright," I conceded. I sighed and relaxed, letting him do his stuff to my feet. "You have magic fingers," I told him.

"Oh, the things you say to me," said Raph as he continued his massage. "The pizza'll be here in about five minutes. Twelve fifty, plus tip. I'd say thirty oughta cover it."

I would have scowled at him, but the pizza sounded delicious, so I just kept relaxing and enjoying. "So… you ever seen American Horror Story?" I asked.

"You kidding me? Love that show. The Rubber Man scene? Genius."

"Seriously? You liked the part with the kinky sex? Weird."

"That's not the important part- it's the weirdness that it adds to the show. The new aspect."

"Really? I liked the-" The doorbell rang. I stood up and I went to the door, pulling the money out of the purse. I turned to tell Raph to hide, but he was already gone. I shrugged and opened the door, paying for the pizza and thanking the delivery boy and closed the door. By the time I turned back around to the sofa, Raph was in the kitchen pulling out plates and cups.

I stared at him for a moment before he looked over at me. "You gonna stand there staring or what?"

"Yeah, yeah." I put the pizza box down and opened it up. We both inhaled deeply. "Mmm… so good," I breathed. "Oh, yeah," my companion agreed.

We quickly took our places back on the couch. "So you gonna finish my massage or what?" I asked, before taking a huge bite of the pizza followed by another moan.

He rolled his eyes at me and took a bite of his own, speaking through the food. "'m eatin' here. Gimme a minute." Or at least that's what I thought it sounded like; it was hard to be certain since my attention was also divided between the explosion of taste in my own mouth.

When we had both swallowed, Raph picked up the remote to turn the TV on. "Hey," I said, "My TV, my remote."

"I wanna watch The Mummy."

"I pick the show we'll watch." I took another bite of pizza. "I have it in my DVD collection. Go get it."

"Pushy broad," Raph said, but he got up to grab it anyway.

After we had settled in to watch the movie, had eaten a slice of pizza apiece, and Raphael was back to massaging my feet after I had guilted him about making my day (and in fact the next few weeks) living hell for me since I'd be putting everything back to the way they were.

"So… what book were you looking for anyway?" I asked, taking another slice of pizza.

"Something about puzzles or something," he replied, and then did something with his fingers to my feet that had me groaning again. "Geeze, Irma, if someone hears you they're gonna think we're having some kind of crazy animal sex or something!"

"Don't be so dramatic," I said. "My sex sounds are different. These are good food groans."

"You know, most people don't need to distinguish between those two."

"ANYWAY… Why were you looking for a book on puzzles?"

"Because that's what Don wanted, like I just said."

"Why did Don want that?"

"I don't know, geeze! Stop asking so many questions!"

"Does he like puzzles or something?" Raph glared at me. "'Cause I have something he might like if that's the case."

"Oh, yeah? What?"

I reached over to the coffee table and picked up the puzzle box that I had left there before. It was still open. "Do you guys use an IM system?" I asked.

"Yeah, Digsby. Why?"

I picked up a pen and a notebook that I left lying by the phone which sat on a side table next to the couch, and wrote down my username and email address. "For when we're both bored and doing nothing," I said, tearing the paper out of the notebook and folding it up. I put it in the box and closed it all up. I then handed it to Raph. "Tell him he can have this. That way I can chew him out for sending you to the library to cause chaos when he could have just asked me."

It was Raph's turn to blink. "Huh… We didn't think of that."

"No, really? You guys are going to have to start thinking of me as an ally at some point," I said, feeling a little disappointed.

Raph stroked a finger along my foot that made me squirm with laughter. I hadn't known that a person could be ticklish on the bottoms of their feet. "That's what you get for being so damn sensitive about everything we do."

"I am not sensitive!" I said. Raph tickled my foot again and I wriggled some more. "Okay, fine, maybe I'm a _little_ sensitive."

"We met you a couple weeks ago. We like you, and that's about all that can be said so far. We haven't gotten to the point where we consider you in everything we do."

"You were friends with April right away," I countered.

"April was the first person outside of our own family that we had ever spoken to. We were too excited to finally have someone else around to actually think about it. Don't go all hormonal just 'cause we didn't get BFF stickers for each other's stuff the first day." I whopped him with a pillow and he tickled my feet again.

We somehow managed to get through the end of the movie with a foot massage and eating pizza, and arguing about random silly things, like whether or not Benny was actually a likable character.

The evening ended when Raphael announced that it was time for him to leave. He took the box I gave him and offered his apologies for running half the library (actually he said "If I have to come back I'll be more careful," which I guess is close enough).

It wasn't until after he left that I realized that if HE could get in through my window that easily, how easily others besides the turtles could get in too. I had a bit of trouble sleeping that night.

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><p>I wouldn't have made such a long scene between Irma and Raphael myself, but he revolted against me and overthrew my reign over this chapter. He insists on being called King Raph for the remainder of the day. Review and tell him you protest his tyranny!<p> 


	12. Chapter Twelve

I'm posting this up early because I was given a chance to take a week long trip to Europe, and of course I accepted. Who's going to say no to an almost free trip? I should be back the week after next in time to post up the next chapter, but this one is gonna have to hold y'all over until then.

Alright, back to the plot development. TMNT isn't mine, my beta-readers are wonderful, etc. etc. Enjoy.

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><p><strong>Chapter Twelve<strong>

Don and I started IMing the next day at work; apparently he had gotten through the puzzle box faster than I had expected. When I was having my lunch, a chat request from TerrapinTrooper03 showed up. My sneaking suspicion that it was my purple-clad friend turned out to be true, and talking to him on IM became a daily thing.

When I wasn't too busy re-shelving the books that Raph had knocked over at work or doing research and inventory, and sometimes even when I was doing that, I was talking to Don. We talked about really random things sometimes. Like how Star Wars was a reflection on the inner turmoil in every human being between the archetypal Light and Dark side within all human consciousness. This actually came up halfway through October. This was also the conversation that led to other interesting things.

**TerrapinTrooper03**_: It's obvious that the Force is only another word that they use to try to get the everyday Joe to understand that choices made are all simply a conscious choice, not due to upbringing or anything of the like. It's just another take on the classic Nature vs. Nurture argument. _

**LusciousLitterateur9**_: Don't be ridiculous. By the time that movie was made, that argument had been around for ages. The entire saga was just another example of how men wish they could control their environment; the Force is the perfect example of this._

**TerrapinTrooper03**:_ So what're you doing on Halloween?_

**LusciousLitterateur9**_: … Huh?_

**TerrapinTrooper03**_: Halloween. What're you doing that day/night?_

**LusciousLitterateur9**_: Well, that's not random at all._

**TerrapinTrooper03**_: Figured while we were talking about sci-fi and all that. So?_

**LusciousLitterateur9**_: I think Ken and I were going to go to that Halloween Block Party between 9__th__ Street and Harrison Drive._

**TerrapinTrooper03**_: Who's Ken?_

**LusciousLitterateur9:**_ He's just this guy I've been seeing. We're not officially dating, which is why I never mentioned him._

**TerrapinTrooper03**_: Oh._

**LusciousLitterateur9**_: Why?_

**TerrapinTrooper03**_: It's nothing, don't worry about it._

**LusciousLitterateur9:**_ No, tell me! I'm curious now! Were you planning a big party or something?_

**TerrapinTrooper03**_: No, it was just a thought._

**LusciousLitterateaur9**_: Plllleeeeeaaaaasssssseeee tell me?_

**TerrapinTrooper03**_: It's nothing big, it's just that Halloween is pretty much the only time we can sort of come out without looking too weird, you know? So we kind of like to make a day of it. And we had heard of this one club and we were thinking about going and I was just going to ask you if maybe you'd want to come._

**LusciousLitterateur9**_: Srsly?_

**TerrapinTrooper03**_: Well, we were going to ask April and Casey too. Kind of a group thing, I guess. But since you have a date and all_

**LusciousLitterateur9**_: You kidding? OMG I would totally love to come! I can drag Ken along! :D_

**TerrapinTrooper03**_: But if it's supposed to be a date_

**LusciousLitterateur9**_: Oh, please. I'm sure he can spare me for a dance or two. He can do his own thing and I can show you how to rumba! ;)_

**TerrapinTrooper03**_: You'd dance with me?_

**LusciousLitterateur9**_: Hell, yeah! Another thing we can add to the list of things you've done with a girl lol!_

**TerrapinTrooper03**_: lol True enough. So I guess we'll see you then?_

**LusciousLitterateur9:**_ Of course! Where're we going to meet?_

**TerrapinTrooper03**_: At that big block party you were talking about. There's this dance club there and there's going to be a live jazz band and free food and all that stuff._

**LusciousLitterateur9**_: This is going to be great! I'm so excited now! What are you guys going to go as?_

**TerrapinTrooper03**_: I'm tempted to go as a can of turtle soup- dress up as a can of soup, and since I'm a turtle…_

**LusciousLitterateur9**_: Oooooh! Clever! I like it! But I'm going as something a bit more dashing myself._

**TerrapinTrooper03**_: Oh, yeah? What?_

**LusciousLitterateur9**_: Can't tell you. But we'll talk more about it later if you like. I can keep throwing out hints that you won't get and I'll laugh at your frustration. Bye for now! ;)_

**TerrapinTrooper03**_: Ha ha ha. Alright, later Irms._

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><p>As Halloween drew closer, I got more and more excited about it. I wasn't normally into Halloween myself, but that was mostly because I never had much of a reason to enjoy it. The anticipation of going out to dance with my beau and my friends who were normally unable to even walk into a store made the prospect of having to dig up the whole costume enjoyable.<p>

Ken seemed equally excited; he apparently loved dancing and was looking forward to whirling me around. When I told him about meeting up with friends, he seemed genuinely eager to be introduced people I knew. I was happy about this. I had dated (and once been married to) very jealous men, and so the thought of being able to chat with guy friends without my own guy being suspicious was very relieving.

And so the big night came- October 31st, that night when all the spooks and ghouls apparently came out of nowhere and showed up everywhere. I met up with Ken at exactly eight at night, and he wolf-whistled as I came down the stairs. I was wearing a long treated brown leather jacket, and I wore a cowgirl hat and cowgirl boots to match, complete with the spurs on the back. I had a black leather vest over a white cotton shirt, and my hair was pulled back into a pony-tail. For authenticity, I had my Western Style ammo belt along with my holsters. I wore fake guns in the holsters rather than real ones, of course. If I wore real ones in New York, I could get arrested very easily. Just in case someone freaked out, I still brought my gun permit with me. I wore the black pearl earrings he had given me as well.

Ken didn't look too bad either. He was going with the Bad Biker Dude look- all black leather pants and jacket, complete with the chains and the gloves to match. We looked pretty good together- kind of like Team Badass.

"Hot damn, Irma," he said as I walked closer, putting an arm around my waist, "You're gonna have to beat the guys off with a stick. That is, the ones that somehow manage to get through me."

"Oh, look who's talking, Mr. Dark and Dangerous. The women are going to be swooning over you before the night is out." I let him pull me close and put my own arm around his waist. We decided to walk to the block party rather than drive. It wasn't too far away, and with our jackets, we weren't cold at all.

"So tell me about these friends of yours," he said as we strode along. "You haven't mentioned too much about them."

"Well, Casey and April are going to be there. They're the couple I told you about. They have one of those relationships where they bicker a lot but they somehow make it work. And then the guys… are… well, let's just say you'll probably remember them."

"That's not ominous at all."

We continued laughing and chatting as we walked, passing by people in costumes and kids looking for candy until we got to the block party. We weaved our way through the crowds until we got to the club where the jazz music was pouring out the doors and windows. "Now that sounds like a party," I commented.

"Mmhmm…" Ken got a grin on his face and then took my free hand in his, twirling me around. I laughed and put a hand on his shoulder, letting him dance with me on the street. "You couldn't wait to get into the club?"

"But I won't get a good look at you in there," he grinned and gave me a quick kiss on my lips, making me blush a little. "Come on," he said, and pulled me by the hand inside the club. The windows were tinted so the light didn't come in from outside, and there were flashing lights and bubble machines to make things even more interesting. I looked around to see if I could get a glimpse of anyone but was disappointed; there were too many people to get a good look at who was there.

The music was loud and jazzy, and I found myself dancing in place to the beat. Ken saw and quickly pulled me onto the dance floor, sweeping me up into his arms again. I let him hold me, moving my feet with his and leaning against his chest. I'm not sure how long we danced, just that I enjoyed it, spinning and twirling around him, our faces occasionally illuminated by the overhead lights as they swept over the crowds. After a while I noticed that it was getting hot and started to look for a place to leave my duster jacket. "Hey, Ken," I called to him over the music, "gonna find a place to sit for a little while."

He nodded, showing that he'd heard me and then made a motion of putting his hands to his lips and moving them so it looked like he was tossing back a drink. "Bring me back a Cuba Libre," I shouted to him, and he gave me a thumbs up. I shrugged out of my jacket as I looked around for a place to sit, and finally found a table in the back that didn't look like it had any occupants. Deciding that at least it was a place to relax, I quickly swooped down, putting my jacket on one chair and sitting in another.

I leaned back and let my eyes close, just enjoying the beat of the music for a while. I didn't notice how long Ken had been gone until I felt my pocket vibrate from my cell phone. I pulled it out and noticed that my sister had sent me a Happy Halloween text and Ken had been gone for twenty minutes. I frowned, knowing that even if the bar was crowded, it shouldn't have taken that long to get a drink. I was about to get up and go look when a big shadow blocked out some of the little light that reached the table. I looked over, hoping it was Ken, and was greeted with the sight of a familiar green face. "Donny!"

Quickly jumping out of the chair, I wrapped my arms around him, giving him a big hug. "I haven't seen you in ages! My god!"

"Not since you got back home, I know." He hugged me back and then took a step away from me, looking me over. "I like it! Cowgirl, right?"

"Sexy cowgirl," I heard another memorable voice say, and I turned to see Raph walking towards us, a drink in each hand. Neither of them were wearing any discernable costume as far as I could tell. "Couldn't think of anything more original than being giant ninja turtles, hm?" I commented with a smirk as he handed me a drink. Raph rolled his eyes and sat down next to me, ignoring the fact that he was on my coat. "I thought about going as a smart-ass librarian, but I wasn't loud enough to pull it off."

"Ha ha ha," I said. Donny took the seat on the other side of me. "Where are Leo and Mike?"

"Leo decided to stay down in the Lair. Splinter wasn't feeling too good," Donny said. "And Mikey-" There suddenly came loud cheers from the dance floor, and I managed to glimpse what looked suspiciously like a giant turtle doing a series of flips on the dance floor. Donny chuckled and Raph rolled his eyes.

"Ah, well then." I took a sip from my drink and started coughing. "What the hell did you put in this stuff, Raph?"

He said something about me being a wimp, but I couldn't hear it over the sudden influx of music over the speakers. The bass started pumping hard and the light started flickering, and Raph stood up, gave us a finger wave, and sauntered off to the dance floor to join Mikey.

Donny and I waved back at him and I lolled back in my seat with a sigh. Once more, I glanced around for Ken and didn't see him. I started to get pissed. Sure, the club was pretty full, but it would not have taken someone half an hour to find someone else, especially if that other person was sitting in the same spot. We both had cell phones too; it wasn't like he couldn't text to ask where I was. I felt something nudge my arm and I looked over to see Donny poking what looked like an iPad into my arm. I took it and read what it said.

_Whatever happened to your date?_

I snorted and looked over at Donny, who showed me how to type on it. I quickly got the hang of it and replied _Went for drinks and hasn't shown up since._ Donny gave me what appeared to be a sympathetic look and took the pad back from me, typing into it himself before handing it back.

_Are you at least having fun?_

I glanced over at him for a moment and gave a small smile before responding _More so now._

We sat in comfortable silence together for a minute, just listening to the music, and then I caught his eye and jerked my head in the direction of the dance floor. He gaped at me for a second before shaking his head. Refusing to take no for an answer, I got up, took his hand, and pulled him out with me, wondering how a ninja with more grace and skill in his body than I had in my finger could be concerned about looking foolish.

We got to the floor and I immediately started swaying to the music, moving my hips and arms in time with the beat. I took Donny's hands in mine and tried to give him an example to follow. He was slow to learn at first, but in a little while we were both moving simultaneously in rhythm. Our shadows seemed to slide together on the dance floor as we moved closer and closer, our legs and bodies in sync with each other and the music.

I don't know how long we danced like that, just the two of us, not paying attention to anything else happening in the bar until the tempo suddenly slowed and the DJ's voice came on, saying "And now, for all you lovers out there, here's some silky songs for your enjoyment."

We had stopped dancing at that point and had both looked in the direction of the DJ, and when we looked back at each other… we were suddenly much closer than I had remembered being before. With my heels on, we were almost the exact same height, and our faces were almost completely level. I found myself staring into his eyes and wondered how they could reflect color from the flashing lights so perfectly.

"So…" I heard myself saying as the music turned slower and a melodic voice started crooning to sweethearts worldwide, "do you want to… um… keep dancing, or…"

He put an arm around my waist and took my right hand in his. Instinctively, I rested my left hand on his shoulder and we started moving back and forth together. The lights were much lower, and the crowds had thinned considerably as much of the dancing crowd took the chance to get off their aching feet, so we were almost alone on the floor, save for some other couples. It was strange- we had been dancing much more provocatively together before when the music was wild, but now that it was calm and slow, I felt like we were so much closer than we had been just moments before. We weren't moving haphazardly; I followed his lead, and wondered briefly before he spun me how a turtle could become such a good dancer. I myself hadn't been danced with like this since my days in Cotillion in High School. My first husband, Henry, could barely stand dancing at all and kept it at a minimum at my first wedding, and my second husband, Paul, just used it as an excuse to feel me up. This kind of dancing was completely different.

For some reason, words seemed to die in my mouth whenever I tried to say something, and my turtle companion was staring into my eyes in a way that made me feel something that I hadn't felt in a very long time; special. I couldn't take it, but I couldn't break off the dance either. I felt physically unable to do so. Instead, I rested my forehead on his shoulder and let him lean his head against mine. We danced like this for what felt like forever, and I found myself somehow wishing that the moment wouldn't end.

But of course, it did. Quite spectacularly too; the sound of a huge explosion going off and all the lights burning out has a way of breaking up romantic moments.

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><p>Ah, romance. I felt it was time to add some of that to the mix to spice things up a bit. And I even threw a cliff hanger in! Nothing like a cliff hanger in a story to make you want the next chapter. Review and tell me how bad you want it! And for those of you not-too romantic types, don't worry. There's going to be plenty of action coming up soon. No, not THAT kind, you nuts... Sheesh.<p> 


	13. Chapter Thirteen

Action! Excitement! Panic attacks! All this and more coming soon! I have to say, I thoroughly enjoyed working on this chapter. It's the most action-packed thus far and I'm rather pleased with how it came out. The impromptu vacation I took was delightful, although I caught a cough on the trip. But I got it in France, so at least it's a French one... That makes it so much better. Also, there's some swearing in this chapter. Ye be warned.

Don't sue me- TMNT isn't mine!

Thank you all, beta-readers, for your help, and thank you reviewers as well.

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><p><strong>Chapter Thirteen<strong>

The explosion didn't happen inside the club, exactly. It came from somewhere above, but the force of the blast shook a lot of pipes loose, and there was apparently a false start to the sprinkler system. Water started pouring down on the heads of people in the club, increasing the screams and panic as the dancers started to stampede out of the building. I would probably have been crushed in the chaos if Donny hadn't grabbed me by the waist and with a ridiculous amount of grace pulled me to a safe corner. Mikey and Raph were already there, their faces oddly grim looking.

"Never get a break," Raph grumbled, pulling a sai out of his belt and running a finger over the edge. Mikey's nun-chucks were already in his hands, being twirled around. I looked back at Donny to see that he had his bo staff in hand himself. My eyes widened. "You guys were all expecting something like this to happen, weren't you?" They said nothing. "Leo isn't really in the Lair, is he?"

There was a sudden sound of shattering glass and I spun around to see one of the floor-length decorative mirrors on the far side of the room shatter to reveal said Leo in all his blue glory. He jumped out and noticed my pale face. "It was a door to the basement," he explained. Turning to his brothers he said "April and Casey called me. Those people they were following saw them." The other three nodded and Leo turned to me. "Irma, it would probably be best if-"

"Tell me to go, and I'll take a hammer and smash your computer with it," I snapped angrily. "What's going on?" Leo shook his head and brushed past me, heading towards the exit. I turned imploringly to the other three. "Guys! Raph, Mikey!" They glanced past me at Leo, who, when I turned to look at him, was staring at them in a way that would have been rather terrifying had it been directed at me.

"Donatello," I said imploringly, turning to the last brother. He glanced up at me his eyes somewhat apologetic, and then he started towards the door with his brothers.

I let out one final appeal, not caring about my use of slang at the moment. "Oh, Don, please, y'all promised!" He froze and turned back to me. The turtle stared into my eyes again like he had done only minutes before and then gave a sigh, grabbing my hand and pulling me along with him as he and the other three swept out the door. "We're going to regret this," I heard Leo say before we found ourselves in the pandemonium outside.

There were too many people for me to see where we were going as I was tugged along, the brown caboose in a train of green and other assorted colors. There was screaming and shouting and I had only a brief thought that I had left my coat and hat in the club before I was pulled into an alleyway where Raph was already pulling open a manhole. He climbed in first, followed by Leo and then Mikey, who waited for me to step onto the ladder and put his hand on my back, ensuring that if I slipped, he'd catch me. Donny crawled in after me, closing the lid behind him.

It was pitch black inside and I reached out to try to feel for a wall. Instead I felt a cooler hand take mine and lead me forward, and I could hear shuffles in front of me. "Just hold on to me, dudette," Mikey said, and I squeezed his hand to show that I heard. He squeezed back in a reassuring way. Reaching behind me, I felt a plastron and a second hand grab mine. This hand didn't squeeze, but held onto me in a firm grip and didn't let go. I gulped, remembering how the person the hands belonged to had twirled me around only a little while before. I stumbled slightly, and forced the thoughts from my mind as both Donny and Mikey reached out to help me regain my balance. We walked in silence for a ways before I spoke. "So… guys… would you like to explain what's going on?"

Leo sighed up in the front of the group and started explaining. "April and Casey have been following a group that they suspected attacked them before. You remember the guys who went after April and you in the hospital?"

"Of course I remember. Who could possibly forget something like that?"

"Well, April got a client who wanted her to find some old piece of artwork that supposedly had disappeared centuries ago. April didn't think there'd be much of a chance to find it, but she took the job anyway because she likes a challenge, as well you know."

A thought occurred to me. "Was the art called Seiobo's Nectar?"

"She mentioned that she'd asked you about it. You didn't find anything, did you?"

"No, not on the artwork. Just some stuff on the artist, and not much there either."

We rounded a corner, and I was happy to see that my sight was adjusting to the darkness. I could make out the shapes of the turtles around me, and could see the thick fingers holding my own vaguely. Leo continued his story as we trekked along. "In any case, April managed to hunt down what she learned to another antique dealer in South Korea who pointed her to another dealer in Indonesia."

"And let me guess," I said, following Mikey's lead and stepping over shapes on the ground. "Someone else was looking for the thing too."

"Yeah," Raph picked up the story. "And they weren't nice about it either. They had to get the Hell Outta Dodge and when they got back they still had the bastards following them."

"That was when April got caught in that explosion," Don said behind me. "April had been poking around in an old warehouse and some bombs went off, and, well, you know what happened next."

"Almost there," Mikey said cheerily.

"So, where're we going now?"

"Another warehouse." That was the last thing said before we turned another corner and Leonardo and Raphael jogged ahead a short distance and found a ladder leading up to another manhole. We climbed up one by one, with Leo in the lead and I at the end. When I reached the top of the ladder, Don reached down and took my hand again, helping to pull me to my feet. I looked around when I got my feet on the ground. We were by the docks and I saw that there was a large warehouse looming up. "Irma!" I turned around to see April getting out of a van with Casey. They both looked like they had just come from a party too; Casey was dressed like Jason from the horror movies with a hockey mask and April was a girl leprechaun, complete with hat; there had been certain liberties taken with the dimensions of the outfit, however. I was fairly certain that leprechauns hadn't worn corset tops and stockings.

"What're you doing here?" April asked agitatedly. "I thought the guys-"

"They were at a party with me," I explained. "I insisted they bring me along when things started blowing up. How'd that explosion way over there lead you guys over here anyway?"

Casey wandered over shaking his head. "They caught us leaving the apartment. We had to call Leonardo to help draw their attention away."

"And that's why there was that bomb," Leo picked up the story. "The people following me threw it. I was just happy that it was such a small one and that the upper floors were empty. It only shook up the building. I don't think anyone was seriously hurt."

Meanwhile, while we were talking, Raphael and Donatello were poking around the building, looking for a way in. They called us over when they found a window that was halfway open. "It leads to the office, looks like," said Mikey. "Booooring."

"Why would a window be open to an office?" I wondered aloud. "Seems a bit unsecure to me."

Leonardo made a sound of agreement. "We can't get in that way."

April was examining the gape in the window. "Actually… I could fit through here."

"No, April," Casey immediately objected. "You are not going in there alone."

"I can go in with her," I offered. Both Casey and Donatello instantly said "Nooooooooo!"

"Absolutely not," Donny said, staring at me angrily. "You two are not going in there without someone to protect you."

The two of us took a deep breath and drew ourselves up. "Oh, here we go," muttered Casey. "Someone to protect us, you say?" I sniffed indignantly. "As if we couldn't protect ourselves. Of all the things to say…"

"I've only traveled all around the world and smacked around the most dangerous ninjas, but I can't protect myself." April drew herself up and then went to the window. Casey reached out for her arm but she jerked it out of his grasp and shot him an icy look. "Come on, Irma." She started to crawl through the gap and the turtles tried not to look as she wiggled her butt in the air in her attempt to slide through. Casey grumbled furiously under his breath and turned away. There was a soft thud as she landed on the floor and called up "Alright, Irma!"

I went over to the windowsill and gripped it firmly for balance. "Irma," Donatello was suddenly there next to me, concern in his eyes. "I really think this is a bad idea." Smiling reassuringly at him, I put a hand on his shoulder. "I'll be okay, Don. Besides, April needs someone in there to make sure she doesn't set her eyebrows on fire again."

"I heard that!" April hissed from inside. I gave a small bark of laughter and then went back to pulling myself up. Donatello grabbed my foot in his hand to help me get better leverage and within a few seconds I had landed inside with a soft "Oof!" and found myself sitting next to April. "Okay, we're in," April called out.

Mikey called from the other side. "We'll try to sneak in another way. Be careful! If you meet anything nasty, leave some for us!"

"Will do," I said, before turning to see April carefully opening the office door. "What exactly are we looking for?" I whispered to her, quickly catching up to her side. "Anything that could give us a hint as to who's hunting us, right?"

"Yeah. Speaking of these hunters, it seems like they mean business." The two of us crept around the corner of the office door and saw nothing but black shapes in the darkness. "April," I said quietly in her ear, "I don't think we'll be able to see anything in the dark. Unless we turn the lights on, which I'm assuming isn't an option, I sure hope you brought a flashlight."

"Sorry," she replied dryly. "I forgot the flashlight with my pot of gold. We'll just have to feel our way around I guess."

We did just that. We reached out and walked forward until we felt the edges of some crates, and, keeping our fingertips on them, began to walk around, trying to see if we could stumble upon anything. "So, you two were heading to a party?" I asked softly.

"Well, we were until we saw the person watching us." April turned a corner and I followed, trying to keep the outline of her in sight. "We had just finished getting dressed when Casey noticed someone watching us through the window. He pointed the guy out in a clever way and we decided to pretend like we didn't know he was there. We left and watched him follow us for a while until we ducked into a building. Then while I called Leonardo for backup, Casey kept watch on him. That's when the bombs started coming."

"I'm sorry, started coming you said?"

"Yeah, the guy started tossing these bombs into the building. We managed to get everyone out before there was a big incident, which was lucky, but we lost the guy in the process."

"And I'm guessing Leo picked up the trail?"

"Yep." We encountered what seemed to be a dead end suddenly. I hmm'd. "Alright. Let's look for another way. So," I continued. "I'm also guessing that Leo managed to somehow guide him to where the other guys and I were, and told them what was going on via one of Donatello's comm thingies."

"Correct again." I took one of April's hands in mine and found another open path of crates, directing her hand to it so that we could start walking again. "But how'd you and Casey know to come here?"

"This," April said with some slight resignation in her voice, "is the same warehouse I got set on fire in before. I just keep thinking that this place has more to it than I got to see before. Why would they have tried to blow me up if they hadn't been hiding something?"

"My question," I said, "is why bombs are their weapon of choice. I mean, there are so many other neater, quieter ways of doing things. Y'know, like, um, by sniper. Or silenced pistol. Something that doesn't make as big a mess as a bomb."

"I recall that they tried to stab the two of us in a hospital once. I guess when that didn't work they decided 'The hell with it.'"

"Eh, as good an explanation as any."

All of a sudden, light flooded the building. I had to slap a hand over my mouth to stifle a gasp of surprise and sudden pain from the light.

The two of us crouched down and I was suddenly grateful that I had left my jacket behind. It would have dragged on the ground and made more noise. We heard footsteps coming our way, and I shook April's arm and jerked my head over to where some lone crates were sitting. We quickly scurried over and hid behind them, hoping that whoever it was would be friendly.

The footsteps were coming closer, and we heard voices. I didn't recognize the language, but from the look on April's face, I was guessing she did. It looked like it wasn't good. The steps stopped not too far away from where we were, and I took a deep breath before carefully peaking around the corner to see what was going on.

There were five figures, all wearing black suits. They were all Asian as well, and one of them was trying to open a long, wide crate. I glanced back at April confused, and then turned my gaze back to the men as the creaking sounds of an opening crate. They pried it open with the crowbar that they had produced, and then the lid fell down onto the side to reveal-

I bit down on my hand to hold back a gasp and quickly pulled my head back into the shadows. April leaned in close to me and I barely breathed into her ear "It's the stolen painting from the museum."

Her eyes widened and she pointed in the direction of the painting. I nodded. The look of confusion on her face mirrored my own. Why would the painting be sitting here? I had asked about it shortly after its theft. It was worth maybe twenty, thirty grand at most. That wasn't cheap by any means, but compared to so many other works of art, it was pretty worthless. It had no real value other than the time period that it had been painted in and the fact that it was a sort of compilation of different painting techniques. It just wasn't important or valuable enough to have been stolen when there were so many other vastly priceless works that could have been snatched just easily.

Shrugging my shoulders at her, I peeked out from behind the crate again to see the men all bending down and closely examining the painting. My eyes furrowed. I couldn't figure out what they were staring at so intently. I just couldn't get it at all. They stood up and I immediately pulled back into the safety of the shadows and listened for their footsteps coming closer and closer. April and I huddled together, and I started praying that they wouldn't move the crates and see us. I didn't know for sure what they would do, but I was fairly certain that whatever it was, it wouldn't be friendly. The sound of creaking wood came and I bit down on my hand again to keep from making a nervous noise. It cracked open under the strain of the crowbar and the men started to look through whatever was in the crate. I could hear rustling sounds, like things clanking together in a sort of wooden way, but other than that, I had no way of knowing what the heck they were doing. April caught my eye and she mouthed the word "Japanese". I assumed she meant the language, although I suppose she could have meant their ethnicity as well. A tiny nod was the only indication that I had heard her. I didn't want to do anything else just out of fear. The men continued to move around for a while longer, picking things up and then dropping them (it sounded like) and then suddenly there was a crash on the other side of the building. April and I both jumped, and I cut my lip biting down so hard. The men instantly left to investigate the noise. We waited until their footsteps faded and then we both crawled out from behind the crates and stood to examine the contents of the crate they had opened. My face slackened in shock as I realized what the contents were exactly.

"April," I whispered to her, "it's all puzzle boxes! It's full of puzzle boxes!"

And indeed it was. Full to the brim with the things, all different shapes and sizes. I picked one up and examined it closely. I recognized the pattern. "This is one of the harder boxes," I whispered to April. "I've seen this kind before. And… and this one," I picked up another. "This is the most difficult of all. Only a handful of people are supposed to have been able to open these."

"How do you know?" she asked.

"When I started looking up info about that artist, I found out he created puzzle boxes. Then I found a whole website dedicated to making them just like he did. I've been ordering them for ages now. Got a stack of boxes in my bedroom." I thought for a moment. "Should probably get rid of those…"

There was a shout in the direction the men had gone and April and I ducked down instinctively behind the crate again. Sounds of conflict started up and I swore as I bit my lip in the place where I had cut through skin. The Lady Leprechaun next to me started to go in the direction where the men had gone. I grabbed at her arm, shaking my head earnestly at her. "No!" I mouthed. But she was having none of it. She wrenched her arm from my hand and started running. Throwing my hands in the air, I gave a growl of frustration. Then a thought occurred to me. I turned to the painting and knelt down next to it, trying to see what the men had seen in it.

The sounds started getting louder. I sighed and realized that there was no way I was going to figure it out by sitting here. I needed more time. An idea occurred to me and I began to pat my pockets for my phone. I pulled it out and put it in camera mode, taking snapshot after snapshot of the picture, with some zoomed in and some zoomed out. I decided to print them out later to study. This took me about a minute, and when I was done, I stood up and started running in the direction April had gone.

Without hesitation, I ran zig-zaggedly through the crates, taking the first paths that I could see that were open. In hindsight, this probably was not the best way to go.

I kept running as fast as I could, trying to find April or Casey or the boys, but as I rounded a corner, I came face to face with one of the men that we had seen examining the picture.

"Ah," he said pleasantly, his accent clean, "I see we have found another mouse." He lifted a gun up and pulled the trigger. In those three seconds, I felt my heart stop beating and the world ceased to move. Everything zeroed in on the barrel of that pistol and the thunderclap of noise I knew was going to erupt from it.

But it didn't. He pulled the trigger and nothing happened. The man frowned and looked at the gun, trying to pull the trigger again.

I decided to take action. Without a single thought to safety, I launched myself at his face with a wild cry of desperation and we both went down on the ground, struggling for the gun. The man had muscle on me, but I was younger and faster, and I wasn't afraid to play dirty. I grabbed the hand that held the gun and bit down as hard as I could, leading him to cry out in pain. I kneed him in the groin and slammed my full weight down onto his chest, making him gasp for air. He finally dropped the gun and I scrambled for it, making sure to kick the man in the face as I did so. Once I had the gun in hand I rounded on my assailant and pointed it at his face.

There was no need to have bothered though. He was unconscious, my boot print conspicuous on his face. I took a deep breath and noticed suddenly that I was shaking. I got up, only wobbling slightly, and took another deep breath to calm myself down. "Inhale… exhale… in… out… there you go." Once my heart-rate had gone down to a reasonable level, I checked the gun to see why it hadn't gone off. It was fully loaded and clean. I couldn't see- oh, there it was! "Trigger jam," I chuckled. "Typical." Quickly fixed, and now I had a working gun in my possession. I took one final breath and steadied myself against a crate. I closed my eyes and listened to where the sounds of the fighting were now. It echoed slightly in the warehouse, but I could make out the general direction. Without a moment's hesitation, I began running again, this time in a much less haphazardly way.

I could hear the sounds of metal hitting metal, grunts of pain, and the sound of things hitting flesh. Praying that I wasn't too late, I broke out into the fastest pace I could. Michelangelo cried out and I heard Raphael shout out his name. "No, no, no, no," I panted to myself. I knew I was getting closer, and suddenly I was sliding out of cover into another clearing, falling to the ground, and I saw Mikey on the floor, clutching his wrist in pain and Raph crouching down next to him. I saw blood and two of the Asian men holding swords pointed at their heads. "FREEZE!" I screamed.

They spun around and I stumbled to my feet, body shaking but my hands totally steady. "Drop the swords!" I shouted at them. "Drop them! NOW!" There was brief hesitation, but they did as they were told. Shaky breath. "Okay…" I wobbled on my feet again but I straightened myself. "Okay, kick them over to the turtles. DO IT NOW, OR I'LL SHOOT!" I don't think the men would have listened to me had I not been screaming at them and looked somewhat insane. In any case, they did as they were told and Raphael picked them up and helped Michelangelo to his feet, who was still clutching his wrist. I relaxed a little once I saw that he wasn't seriously injured, letting my grip on the gun loosen and lowering my arms.

And then- "BEHIND YOU!" Mikey shouted at me. I whirled around-

I glimpsed another of the men I had seen with a very pissed look on his face, then I felt a deep, sharp pain as something came crashing into my shoulder- no, _through_ my shoulder.

"FUUUUUUCK!" I screamed, and I swung the gun across the man's face with all my strength, making him stagger back. I swung around again and fired off a few rounds at the other two men, and one of them fell to the floor shouting what I was sure were obscenities in Japanese. "Just your leg, you goddamn bastard," I said, and then I began gasping in pain, staggering over to lean against a crate. I started sliding to the floor once I felt it's surface against my arm, and I registered the sounds of Raph and Mikey managing to subdue the two men still standing. I ended up clutching my shoulder trying to hold back tears of pain, bent over on the floor.

"Irma? Irma? Hey, Irma, babe, look at me. Look at me, honey." I felt thick fingers gently cup my face and brush my hair away. I opened my eyes and stared into the very concerned visage of Raphel. "You okay, babe? Does it hurt bad?"

My mouth opened and closed before I whimpered, "Ow."

"Yeah, yeah, I know, hun. C'mon, here we go." He wrapped an arm around me, careful of my shoulder and helped me get up off the floor. I let my eyes wander around the room "Where's Leo and… and Don?"

"Don't know. Can't worry about them right now. Mike!" Raph called over to his brother. "You okay to walk? How's the wrist?"

"I'll be alright. You okay, Irma? I got the chucks," he said, first to his brother, then me, then back to him.

Deep breaths, I thought to myself. Deep, deep breaths. "Fine. Got any pain killers?"

With a brother supporting me on either side, we began walking to the nearest exit. "How'd you get in?" I asked, trying to get my mind off the pain. "And where're the others?"

The two looked at me. "Thought April was with you," Raph said.

"No, she took off as soon as we heard the fighting start. What happened anyway?"

"We've been doing a lot of explaining to you lately." Raph commented. "Donatello managed to get a garage door open enough for us to crawl in. We split up afterwards. Don and Leo went to security and the two of us came down here to poke around and find you two. Now what the hell happened with you and April?"

"Where's Casey?" I asked.

"I just asked you something. You answer me first."

"I've just lost like a gallon of blood," I said. "I can't think straight. _You_ answer first."

Raph sighed. "He was supposed to be lookout. Don't know where he is now. Probably with April."

There was a loud crash on the second floor of the warehouse. We all looked up. "That's where security is," Mikey pointed.

There were sounds of a struggle and Raph swore. "We gotta get up there. You gonna be okay?" he asked me.

"Yeah, sure, fine," I said. I pulled my hand away and looked at it. It was covered in red. "Is this blood?" I asked, hearing my voice coming from a distance.

"Pretty sure," Mikey replied.

"Oh." And then the world went black.

I woke up less than a minute later in Raph's arms as he was going up the stairs to the second floor. Mikey was hurrying behind us. "Irms, Irms, you awake?"

"Would seem so." We got to the top of the stairs and I started wriggling in Raph's arms. "Put me down. I'm perfectly fine."

"Are not," he snapped at me, but he put me down just the same. "You start fallin' over again and we're takin' you outside."

"Gotta find the others. Then we can go." I took a deep breath and walked next to the turtles, keeping one hand on the railing for support. The door to security was open, but it was empty, with the computers and cameras running but no one monitoring them. The crashing sound seemed to have come from a laptop left haphazardly on a desk, and it had fallen over and broken. Whoever had been fighting in there, they were gone now. "Donny must have already been here. There's no way he'd leave without getting what he needed." Mikey started poking around the computers. He could still move his injured wrist well enough, but not enough to use his nun-chucks properly.

I walked over to the screens too and started scanning to see if there was any sign of the other two turtles and our human companions. I didn't notice Raphael and Michelangelo start signing to each other behind my back. I was too busy looking at the person skulking around in the crates. "Someone's down there," I said, and pointed to the screen. "There he is."

Raphael immediately stood and grabbed his sais. "You two stay here. You can't fight anyway."

I think Mikey would have argued, but I was feeling kind of spacey and I must have looked like it too because he didn't say a word. The older brother was gone in an instant, using some neat ninja trick to disappear.

The two of us sat there for a minute, not saying anything. And then we heard footsteps. We spun around and saw two unfamiliar shadows chasing along the wall. I turned to Michelangelo. "Don't know the shapes. We should hide."

He nodded and grabbed me in his arms, pulling me to a dark corner of the room. I don't know how he managed to do it, but when the older man rushed into the room, he didn't see us. Neither did the other, younger man as he ran in afterwards, his back to us, holding a gun.

Mikey clapped a hand over my mouth and pressed me closer to him. I had no problem with it. I was terrified and suddenly the pain in my shoulder was much sharper. The older man spun around and stared at the younger man who was now pointing the weapon at him. They exchanged sharp words, quiet at first, and then they started shouting. It ended with the older man spitting at the younger, and then he reached into his pocket and tossed him a key. The young man caught it, laughed, and then shot the old man before walking out. I had to bite down on Mikey's hand to keep myself from screaming. When we were sure it was safe, he let me go and stood up. "Irms, stay here," he said, the humor so normally heard in his voice gone. "Don't move." And then he was gone. I let myself slide to the floor. Everything was fading in and out and I was feeling so damn tired. I heard laughing. I picked my head up from the floor and saw the Asian man sitting himself up, blood pouring out of his chest. "Wrong one," he laughed. "Wrong one."

I made a sound of pain and moved to my side, on my good shoulder to get a better look at him. "Wrong key," he repeated, and smiled at me, seeing me for the first time, blood staining his teeth. "Wrong… key." He reached a hand into his jacket slowly, a spasm of pain crossing his face. He pulled out a second key, blood from his fingers staining the metal. "Right one. Right key. Take… take it."

Well… why the hell not. Bleeding everywhere as it was, I figured I might as well loose it all. With a groan of pain, I started crawling towards the man, using my legs and my good arm to propel myself across the ground. It took me a few seconds, but I managed to get to his side. He placed the key in my outstretched hand and closed my fingers around it. "Right… key…" he rasped, and then coughed up some blood. "Storage… D… twelve…" Then with a rattle in his throat, his head fell back and he died. There was a grunt of dissatisfaction at the door.

I flipped over to see… "Oh. It's you," I said faintly. It was the guy I had stolen the gun from. My boot print was still on his face. "Uh… hi."

He gave a low, angry growl and he said something that I could only assume was somewhat justified fury. Also, he had a sword. "Swords, swords," I muttered, looking up at the ceiling, noting everything swimming and blurring. "Why swords? You guys have so many of them."

He said nothing, but advanced upon me. He lifted the sword when he got next to me, and held the hilt with the blade pointing downwards toward my chest. I closed my eyes, my hand clutching the key I had been given tightly.

There was what sounded like a battle cry, and then a flood of hot liquid spilled over my body, covering my mouth, the left side of my face and chest. I opened my eyes slowly and saw-

The man with the sword had a blade sticking out of his chest. He groaned and then fell to the side, revealing Leonardo. I smiled and closed my eyes in relief.

"IRMA!" My eyes shot open and I saw Donatello running to my side, running his hands over where my body had been covered in blood. "Oh god, oh god, oh god," he said over and over. He turned to Leo and shouted "You stabbed her! You bastard!"

"I swear, I didn't, Donatello! It's blood from the guy attacking her, I swear!"

"Also shoulder," I whispered. "Shoulder too. Hate knives. Too pointy. Can I we go home now? Maybe? Please?"

Leo went to the door. "April and Casey are grabbing some of those puzzle boxes. Mikey's getting their van. I'm going to find Raph. Bring her downstairs!"

Donny moved his arms under my legs and shoulders, carefully lifting me up off the ground. I gasped in pain and he murmured an apology as he carried me out the office. I finally let my eyes flutter closed and just listened to him whisper how I was going to be fine and everything would be okay and that he'd take care of me and Please, Irma, be alright, please be alright.

"'m fine," I whispered, and as he carefully carried me down the stairs I drifted off.

I woke up for a few seconds in the van. Casey was driving like a maniac and April was shouting at him. Leonardo and Raphael were arguing in the seat ahead of me and Michelangelo had my legs in his lap, watching me with worried eyes. I looked up to see Donny holding me tight against him, arms wrapped protectively around my waist. He noticed me with my eyes open and briefly rested a hand on my cheek. "You'll be fine," he said softly.

"I know," I said with a little smile. Then I fell asleep again.

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><p>I had originally planned for this chapter to be much longer; I was going to combine this and the next chapter, but it felt over here. I decided that they deserved a little break after all the drama I tossed in here. Hopefully it was as fun reading as it was writing. Reviews do a marvelous job of conveying appreciation for this sort of thing. Hint hint, nudge nudge.<p> 


	14. Chapter Fourteen

Well, it took me several months and lots of time, but I have gotten to Chapter Fourteen. We are now at the Halfway Point… give or take. I think. I'll let y'all know if that's the case.

Thank you, my wonderful beta-readers! Colonel Pop, GoodSmileGirl and Pita Fish! Hugs and kisses to all of you! Also, thanks to all my fantastic reviewers! Your support is wonderful!

And now, without further ado… Chapter Fourteen.

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><p><strong>Chapter Fourteen<strong>

I'm not sure how long I slept. It was kind of like the first time I had been brought down to the Lair; I saw flashes of light and color, and felt myself being carried. "Déjà vu," I said at one point, and I heard Michelangelo laugh before it all faded out again.

The first thing I sensed for certain when awoke some time later was the smell of incense. "Hmm…" I said.

"Hmm," echoed a voice next to me. I sluggishly opened my eyes and found myself in a bed in the Nurse's Office in the Lair. Master Splinter was sitting in a chair beside me, surgical needle and thread in hand. A small table was next to him, a bowl with medicines of various sorts and a bowl with water and a cloth. His hand was moving smoothly, pulling a string in and out, and I turned to see that he was sewing up my left shoulder. "Ugh," I said, making a face. "It seems much bigger than I recall."

The rat chuckled and paused in his work to pat the hand that was resting on my stomach. "Wounds often feel worse than they may be. The cut is very clean," he continued. "No infection has set in, and my sons managed to stop the blood flow. I am afraid, however, that your clothes could not be salvaged."

Instantly I used my good hand to lift up the blankets that were on me. I was mercifully still dressed in my underwear at least. My black bra and panties seemed no worse for wear, which I supposed was something. Suddenly I realized that in order for me to be wearing just underwear and have no blood covering me, someone else would have had to strip me, and it would have had to be either one of the boys or Splinter. Instantly I turned red from head to toe, and if Splinter hadn't been patching me up I would have thrown the blankets over my head and never looked up again.

As if reading my thoughts, Splinter chuckled again. "Do not worry, Miss Irma. Miss O'Neil undressed you before she and Mr. Jones had to leave."

"Oh! Phew. Oh, not, not that it'd be horrible for you guys to, y'know, do it, but it's just… well, strange men- I-I mean, an unfamiliar- No! I mean-!"

Master Splinter laughed this time, although it was very soft laughter. "There is no need to explain, Miss Irma, I understand exactly what you mean."

"Thank you. Um, what… What clothes are available for when I get up?"

Splinter kept his focus on my shoulder, making neat, even stitches. "I have sent Leonardo and Raphael to your apartment to get some of your apparel."

The thought of Raphael and Leonardo rifling through my underwear sent another flush of red up my face. "The pain medications that Donatello administered to you seem to be working quite well." I was thankful for the distraction and looked back at my wound. I felt the needle sliding through my skin, but it didn't hurt. "Must be some very strong stuff," I said.

"I recall you saying as you were brought in here, 'I want painkilling drugs. I want lots of painkilling drugs. I want the maximum legal amount of painkilling drugs.' I assume that Donatello did his best to accommodate your request."

"Oh. Well, that was very thoughtful of him." My head fell back onto the pillows and I sighed, breathing in the scent of the incense. A thought occurred to me. "Is Michelangelo alright?"

"Yes, quite. He had a sprained wrist; easily cared for. Your injuries, however, were much more serious. Donatello was very agitated when they arrived with you. And I admit," he said, glancing up at me from under his eyebrows, "that with all the blood on you, I was fairly certain that your injuries were fatal at first. They had to explain the occurrences to me before I understood why you were covered."

"They sure felt fatal," I said with a slight grin.

"Donatello certainly behaved as though they were. He managed to work the other three into fits as well. He and Leonardo almost came to blows, which surprised me. He is usually the most peaceful out of all four of them."

I remembered Donny as he held me after I had been injured, the look of stark horror on his face when he saw me laying on the ground covered in blood, the way he had looked at me as we danced. I felt my heart squeeze in my chest and I had to turn away from Splinter. "Where… Where's Donny? And Mikey, where's Mikey?"

He didn't say anything, so I turned back to look at him. Splinter was watching me with a guarded expression, but it seemed that he had the slightest upturning of the corner of his mouth. "I sent them both to bed," he said, a smile in his voice. "Michelangelo was exhausted and in some pain and Donatello was attempting to sew your wound up before I stopped him. His hands were shaking too badly to be of any use. It would have done more harm than good."

I squirmed slightly under his gaze. "I just… they were very sweet to me."

"Ah." He continued working and I went back to watching him. Some blood came to the surface and I let out a little whimper. He stopped for a moment. "Sorry," I apologized. "Blood makes me faint sometimes."

He smiled at me and took the wet cloth and dabbed the blood away. "It seems that an unfortunate pattern has developed whenever you come to the Lair. First a head injury, and now this. I regret say that you'll have to stay here for a few days while you recover."

"Oh, that's alright," I said. "I can call work and take off some more time. Worst they can do is fire me," I muttered the last part to myself. He patted my hand again. "Don't worry," he told me. "I'm certain everything will work out for the best. Now, if you will allow me to work just a few more moments, this will be finished and I can let you rest."

I nodded and rested back as the needle moved in and out of my skin carefully. After a few minutes, Splinter neatly tied off the thread and cut off what was left, putting the needle aside. "And now," he said, "I believe I will get you some soup. You will need energy to heal yourself."

"What kind of soup?" I asked, examining the precise job he had done.

"Potato and leek. I was told it was one of your favorites."

I smiled happily. "It is. Thank you." He left and came back a moment later with a bowl of hot soup and helped me to sit up, carefully putting the bowl in my lap and watching while I ate it. I hadn't realized how hungry I was until I started eating, and soon the bowl was completely empty. "Master Splinter, that was delicious!" I exclaimed. "Thank you so much. And not just for the soup. I mean for letting me stay here and taking care of me. I know I've been an awful amount of trouble, but once I'm better I'll try to make it up to you. I'll clean up the Lair again and-"

"Irma," Splinter said, laying a paw lightly on the shoulder he had just patched up. "You saved the lives of two of my sons. No repayment is needed. And now, I believe it is time for you to sleep."

As soon as he finished speaking, I felt myself start to get tired. I frowned a little and looked up at him in a slightly reproachful manner. "You put sleeping pills in my soup, didn't you?"

The old rat simply smiled again and pulled the blankets up over me, like he was tucking me in. "Sleep well, Irma. I am sure my sons will wish to see you once you are awake."

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><p>I did sleep well, and deeply, and when I woke up I felt much better than I had before. My shoulder, which I couldn't feel before, was now sore and sent jabs of pain up my arm when I moved it too much. This probably was a good thing, but I couldn't help but wish for the numbness I had felt earlier. I was still wearing only my underwear and I had no idea what time it was.<p>

I stayed snuggled in the blankets and wondered how difficult it would be to try to head to the bathroom. I knew there was one not too far away. Weighing the options, I decided that it would be better to risk it than to sit still while needing to use the facilities. With a blanket wrapped securely around me and being careful not to upset my wound, I crept to the bathroom and locked the door behind me. After taking care of everything and washing my hands, I looked in the mirror to see if my appearance was as awful as I thought it was.

"Hmm… Not too bad." I turned my head back and forth. Not much bruising. In fact, I looked pretty good considering what I'd been through. I took a look at my shoulder. It was still very red and when I touched it I winced, but the stitches had been done with a steady hand and it looked clean. With a satisfied nod, I wrapped the blanket around myself again and went back to my cot. As I approached, I heard the sound of the Sonic Boom alarm clock go off and jogged back to the cot, ignoring the pain shooting up my arm. As quickly as I could, I got back into the bed and arranged the blankets to look as though I hadn't moved. Leonardo and Splinter hadn't been in the main room when I stepped outside, so I was going with the assumption that I was safe.

"Think Sleeping Beauty," I said to myself. "Think Sleeping Beauty."

I was surprised how quiet the guys were once they were awake. I supposed they were too tired to be loud today. None of them came near the Nurse's Office, not that I was really surprised. It was full of needles and other painful things. Besides, I could always use more rest. A stab wound gave me a good excuse to lounge around in bed. Snuggling back into the blankets, I decided that if they were too busy to come say Hi, I'd just relax and then get up to eat breakfast.

Planning was unnecessary though. Within thirty seconds of them getting to the kitchen, something fell crashing to the floor and heard Mikey shouting. "RAPH! I told you leave that alone!"

"You're taking too long! I was going to hurry it up!"

"Don't touch it! I'm cooking and I'll take as long as I want!"

Leo's voice broke through the arguing. "If you put gummy bears in the batter again, I'm going to throw you off a building!"

"You guys have no sense of imagination. I was trying to be a creative culinary person."

"Oh, you learned a big word," I heard Donatello say in an overly sarcastic tone. "We're so proud of you, Mikey."

The next thing I knew there were sounds of fighting and more clanging of pots and pans. The shouts from the scuffle were very amusing and all jumbled up. Everyone was shouting at once.

"Get off me!'

"I can't breathe!"

"Ow! That hurt!"

"Let go a' my leg!"

I couldn't keep the grin off my face, but I tried to stifle my laughter in the pillows. The sounds kept coming and it became harder to hide my amusement. Then I heard Master Splinter shout. "BOOOOOOOOOOOOYS!" Instantly everything was quiet. I decided that I didn't want to hide in the room anymore. I got up again, drawing the blankets around me and tucked them in so that I looked like I was wearing a thick toga or something. Walking out of the room I was greeted with the sight of the brothers trying to put the kitchen back together while glaring daggers at each other. I couldn't help it and started laughing at the sight.

Their heads all shot up as I came in the room and all ran to me when I tripped over a step. "I'm alright, guys," I said as Leo and Don rushed to my side to help me up. "I just seem to have misplaced my glasses."

"Well, alright then," Leo said. "Come and eat breakfast with us."

"Oh, goody." But instead of going to the table I threw my good arm around Leo and kissed his cheek. "You're wonderful, Leo. Thank you for saving me when I needed it." He hugged me back smiling. "You're welcome."

Suddenly it occurred to me that if it hadn't been for them, I might not even be alive. And then I remembered seeing Mikey and Raph about to be killed the night before and instantly I burst into tears and went over to Raphael and hugged and kissed him as well.

"Hey! What's all this about?" He put his arms around me too, but looked completely confused as to why I was so upset.

I slapped his plastron. "You almost died, you big mass of feeling-less shell!"

"Well, so much for the hugs," he said. "I don't get girls. One second you're crying over me, and the next second you're-"

"Be quiet, Raph," Mikey said, and I ran over and threw my arm around him too. "Thank you, thank you, thank you," I said to him, and kissed his cheek too. "I'm so glad you're okay, Mikey," I sniffed. "I was so scared when I saw you hurt and both of you cornered, and I didn't know what to do."

"You did alright, Irms," he said grinning, and he kissed my cheek back. "You saved our lives probably. You came to chew gum and kick ass, and you were all out of gum."

We both started laughing, and then I turned around to see Donatello smiling at the sight of all his brothers flustered over the attention. I checked to make sure that my blanket was still tucked tightly and securely around me, and I threw both arms around him and kissed his cheek twice. "You're the most- you're just terrific, Don."

He protested, trying to gently pull away. "Irma, your shoulder! You're going to mess up the stitches!"

"Stop whining about the stitches and _hug her_, you idiot!" shouted Raph. Don blushed and then did just that.

When we were done hugging I wiped my eyes and giggled a little. "You guys must think I'm completely hormonal, getting all emotional like that all of a sudden."

"Naw," Raph grinned at me. "But stop crying now and come eat breakfast. I think Splinter's got your glasses."

"Oh, good, because I have no depth perception without them."

"Irma," Leo said suddenly, "we have some clothes for you. We put them in my room because we didn't want to wake you up."

Raph threw down his fork disgustedly. "Damn it, Leo. Why would you tell her that? She's almost naked and you have to go ruin it with clothes."

Without a word, Donatello stood up and shoved Raphael's face in his bacon and eggs. "Shut up, jackass."

I'm sure Raph would have retaliated had Master Splinter not come out of his meditation chamber. "Well, I see you all are getting along as usual." I was never sure if he was very skilled at being sarcastic or just trying to pretend his sons weren't about to tear each other to pieces again. The rat poured himself a cup of tea and joined us at the table. "Miss O'Neil said that she would be down to visit you later this afternoon, Miss Irma. Also, here are your glasses." He handed them to me and I took them gratefully, putting them on immediately.

"Yaaaaaay." Suddenly the pain in my shoulder started flaring up and I winced.

Don noticed instantly of course. "Your arm hurting? Should I grab you some painkillers?"

"A bit," I admitted. "But I'm good until after breakfast." I started poking at my eggs and then I stopped and turned suspicious eyes to Splinter. He chuckled. "There are no pills in this, I assure you."

"Also-" I turned to Leo and he pulled out from under the table the key that had been given to me by the dying man. "I think this is yours. You were holding onto it for dear life."

"Ah, yes. Thank you." I took the key and debated with myself whether or not to talk about where I had gotten it from. As I ate I considered the pros and cons. If I told them now, without any clue as to what it was for and who it was from, it'd be just one more piece of useless information that they'd have. The key was pretty much worthless until I knew why it was so valuable. A man had been killed over it, for goodness sakes. I knew whatever it was, it was for storage, but that wasn't much to go on really. There had to be at least a hundred storage facilities in half of New York alone.

So instead of saying anything I just finished my breakfast and went with Don to the Nurse's Office. He gave me some pain killers and then when to fetch my clothes while I was taking them. He wasn't gone more than a minute before he was back. I started to pick out clothes and he began to leave before I stopped him. "Hey, um, Donny?"

He looked back at me "What's wrong?"

"Nothing, nothing, I just need… Well, I can get the pants on pretty easily, but it hurts the shoulder to raise my arms too high up. Could you… um…" I blushed a little, fumbling for words. "Could you help me put my shirt on?"

"Oh. Oh!" We both stood there awkwardly for a moment and I shifted to one foot, gripping the blankets tightly to myself. Suddenly I felt completely embarrassed at even thinking that he'd be okay with it. "I mean, if it's too awkward I can manage, I'm sure."

"No, no, it's not that, it's just…" He stopped talking and turned around. "Just tell me when you need my help, I guess."

"Well… Okay." I held the blanket with my teeth while I pulled a pair of shorts on and then I grabbed a t-shirt, letting the blanket fall onto the cot. I managed to pull it onto my arms, but I couldn't reach up with my bad arm to pull it over my head. "Alright. You can turn around now."

He did, and I felt even more self-conscious than I had before. The shirt was covering my bra, but I still felt half naked in front of him. "I, ah, I just need to help me pull the shirt over my head."

Without a word he moved to my side and gently pulled the shirt over my arms, my head, and then down my back. His hands were gentle and his skin, though slightly alien in texture, was smooth and cool. He pulled my hair out from under my shirt, and then stood still for a moment as he held it in his hands. "Your hair is really soft, Irma," he said quietly.

I didn't move. I didn't think I could. "Thank you," I breathed. His hands ran over the length of my hair (it went a little past my shoulders) and then let it fall.

He wouldn't look me in the eye."I… I'm going to go work on something in the lab." And then he was gone.

I probably would have followed after him, but the painkillers kicked in then, and the world started swimming. I decided it was better to go to sleep than to follow and risk falling over my own two feet.

* * *

><p>I stayed in the Lair for the next couple of days under the watchful eyes of Splinter and all the brothers. I called work and told them that I'd been in an accident in a club and wasn't surprised at all to hear that the incident had been on the news. I was fine with that. It gave my story credibility. When they asked what happened I just told them a sprained shoulder after being shoved to the floor in the panic. It was kind of true. I didn't call Ken. I was too angry with him to bother.<p>

April came down to visit just as promised to make sure that I was alright and that the boys were remembering to feed me. After the incident with the drugged soup, I was slightly leery of the food offered, but I ate nonetheless. We watched the news together and saw the club on fire and then the shootout down at the warehouse. No suspects as of yet, and there hadn't been any DNA taken. Mostly because shortly after the police got there and managed to remove the painting, the entire warehouse had gone up in flames. Someone managed to sneak in and light it up like a fly in a bug-zapper.

"Well," I said, sitting between Leo and Mikey on the couch, "At least now they won't have a reason to start looking into recent genetic experiments in the last twenty years or so, give or take."

"Actually, we weren't an experiment." Leo explained.

"Right, right," I remembered the Ooze story.

"Freaks a' nature, that's us," Raph said cheerily.

"My favorite ones." Mikey snuggled closer to me, giving me the puppy eyes. "But I'm your favorite favorite, right?"

"Well, of course!"

Donny said nothing. He hadn't said much to me after the incident with my hair other than asking if I was alright. I always said yes. That was the extent of our interaction. I was somewhat hurt by it, but I guess I understood what he was going through. I had been having thoughts about our… well, whatever it was that we had. I wasn't going to lie to myself. He was special to me, maybe in more than a platonic way. It wasn't like I planned it or anything; he was a giant turtle for god's sake! But he was funny, and kind, and sweet, and he treated me so nicely. He also didn't ditch me in the middle of a date (not that we'd had any of those, but going with the general direction of his actions, I was betting he wouldn't). But that didn't block out the fact that he was a turtle and I was a human. Not only that, but I was a woman who had been married twice and had a rather sordid romantic past. I wasn't exactly known for my flawless record in that department. Donatello, although he was a terrific guy, had exactly zero experience when it came to women before I started flirting with him. It made sense that he would start to like my company when I thought about it. It was at least partially my fault.

Although it pained me to leave our relationship like it was, I decided not to make it any more uncomfortable. And so, a couple of days later, with my arm in a sling and carefully bandaged, I said goodbye to Master Splinter and left for my apartment.

All the boys came with me again, although I told them that it wasn't necessary. "I think I'm perfectly capable of walking into my own building," I said irritably. Their concern was touching, but I was getting tired of being treated with kid gloves, so to speak. Leonardo, of course, had given a foolproof explanation for it. "Anyone could have seen you, Irma. All it takes is some salvaged security footage, someone who's good at putting names to faces, and you'd be gone in a heartbeat."

It was about eight at night when we got to my place, and I went through the front door while they all went up the fire escape again. The doorman greeted me when he saw me coming, as did some of my neighbors in the hall.

Mrs. Lewis was there and as I passed she called out "Do say hello to the nice young man outside your apartment for me, dear!"

I froze on the way to the elevator and turned around slowly. "Young man?" I asked in what I hoped was a calm voice. "I wasn't expecting anyone."

"Oh, I know, dear. He said he was waiting for you for a chance to apologize. Something about an emergency the other day?"

Ah. That could only be Ken. "Thank you for telling me, Mrs. Lewis. Could have been an incident if I had found some guy sitting outside my door."

"Well, there almost was! Mr. Lewis-"

But then the elevator door opened and I jumped in. I apologized for rushing off, she said no worries, and then I was on my way up. I took my cell phone out from my pocket and punched in a number that the boys had given me for something like this.

_guy i know outside door. might come in. hide_.

I stepped off the elevator and looked down the hallway to the door to my apartment. Sure enough, there was Ken. With a dozen red roses no less. Well, it was going to take more than that to get on my good side. I sauntered down the hall towards him. When he saw me, a relieved but nervous look came on his face and he stood up from the floor where he had been sitting. "Irma!"

"Hello, Ken." I responded coolly, and proceeded to unlock the door to my apartment.

"I heard you called in sick to work. Your shoulder- is it okay?"

I opened the door and stepped inside, not bothering to invite him in. He followed after me anyway. I didn't see any sign of the turtles, and my apartment looked the same as it had the night I left to meet Ken. "My shoulder is just fine, thank you. Some very nice guys helped me out and stuck around to make sure I was okay. SOME people don't have a problem with staying with a girl for more than an hour, unlike SOME people I could mention."

He sighed and ran a hand through his hair as I turned the kitchen lights on. "Look, I know I screwed up. I'm sorry, I really am. There was an emergency-"

I rounded on him furiously and came towards him, making no attempt to hide the incredulous anger I was feeling. "Ken, if you think for one minute that I'm going to put up with you walking in here thinking you can charm your way back into my life after abandoning me and leaving me to fend for myself, you've got another thing coming, and it'll be MY FIST heading towards YOUR MOUTH!"

He put the flowers down on the table and put his hands up in a 'don't-kill-me-I'm-unarmed' kind of way and came towards me with an apologetic look on his face. "I understand completely why you're angry and I don't blame you at all. You have every right to be upset-"

"Upset? I'm furious! I'm _livid_."

"And I understand and I have nothing to say to defend myself, and if you punched me right now I wouldn't mind."

I went to the kitchen and pulled a frying pan out from under the sink. "Oh, yeah?"

His eyes widened a bit when he saw the frying pan. "Well… I-I would prefer if you didn't use _that_, but I suppose if you did you'd be justified. I guess."

I didn't say anything but I put the pan away. Ken used this momentary lull to try to ingratiate himself to me. He came up to me and wrapped his arms around me just under my shoulder. "I'm sorry. Truly, completely and fully apologetic. My actions towards you have been inexcusable and wrong and I've taken advantage of your good nature. I don't deserve a second chance from you, but if you could find it in your big, beautiful, generous heart to forgive me and give me just one more chance-"

"If you would please be kind enough to remove your hands from me and take a long walk off a short pier, I'd appreciate it."

I moved around him and walked over to the living area and he followed me, falling to his knees in front of me. "Please, Irma. Just one more chance, and if I screw up, you'll never have to talk to me again. I won't ever bother you, ever. Ever, ever, ever."

I stared down my nose at him, trying to look imperious and disdainful. "Uh-huh. Sure you will."

Then he looked up at me with those big, beautiful, green eyes and he used the greatest Puppy Dog Look that I had ever seen in my entire life. He took my hand and kissed it gently, first on the top, then on my palm, and then on the tips of each of my fingers, all the while keeping those eyes on mine. I felt my resolve starting to waver, and damn it, he knew it.

"Irma," he said softly. "I truly am sorry. Truly and utterly. You've been a perfect sweetheart about everything and I haven't shown you how much I appreciate it. You're the most wonderful girl I've met in a really long time and I want to try to make it work. I know I've put you through a lot. I promise though, that if you just try me one more time, I'll make it up to you. I swear it."

I gave a groan and let my head flop back so I was staring up at the ceiling and rubbed my eyes under my glasses. "Fiiiiiiiine," I told him. "But this the absolute, final and inclusive time. You screw this one up and I will never, ever talk to you again."

Ken jumped up with a joyful and victorious look on his face. He pulled me into his arms and kissed me full on the mouth. I would have struggled, but he surprised me. Also, he was a really good kisser. Very good. _Exceptional_.

"Mmmmm…" I said. Finally he pulled back with a huge grin on his face. "I'll make it really special, I promise. I'll call you tomorrow." He started heading towards the door, but then rushed back and kissed me again. Then he went back to the door and waved goodbye as he walked out.

I waited until he was gone, and then I gave a groan and flopped down on my couch. This jostled my shoulder again and made me gasp with the stabs of pain. "Oh, damnit all."

Suddenly Donatello was there, lightly running his fingers over my stitches. I gasped again, this time in surprise. "Where the heck did you come from?"

"If I told you I'd have to kill you," he said, and kept gently prodding. "That moron probably tore one of them open.

"Wow," I heard Mikey say behind me, and I looked back to see him examining the roses. "These are nice."

"I like orchids better- Ow!"

"Sorry," murmured Don.

I heard someone rustling around in my freezer and I heard Raph say "There's no beer in here! Why is there no beer?"

"I don't like beer," I called back to him.

"Huh. Weirdo. But then again, you got bigger problems to worry about."

"What's that supposed to mean?"

He laughed depreciatively. "That loser idiot that was just throwing himself all over you. You were a total carpet with him."

"Shut up, Raphael," Leo's authoritative voice barked at him. "It's not your place to act as her big brother. Leave her alone."

Mikey came over and sat next to me. "How come you gave him another chance?" he asked.

I sighed. "I don't know. I just wanted him to get lost."

"So you let him stick his tongue down your throat." Leonardo punched Raphael in the snout, knocking him backwards. "I told you to leave her alone!" he said angrily. Raph responded by jumping up and punching Leo back.

Donny straightened up. "Both of you, knock it off!" They looked up at him. He was wearing an expression I hadn't seen on his face before. It was angry. More than angry. "Irma is sick and hurt and tired and it's none of our business who she spends her time with. Now get up and act like you both have some semblance of honor."

Mikey and I stared at Donny in shock, then at each other, then back at Donny. He turned to me with a carefully neutral look. His fingers kept curling and uncurling as though he wanted to take his bo staff and kill someone with it. "Sorry for that, Irma," he said stiffly.

"It's alright, Don," I replied quietly.

Raph picked himself up and rubbed his jaw, staring balefully at Leo, who was studiously ignoring his brother. Mikey stood up and stretched. "Well, it's probably time for us to head out." He leaned down and hugged me. "Hope you feel better soon, Irms. We'll come back to visit sometime soon."

"I'd like that. I'll order pizza for you."

He gave me a grin and two thumbs up and went to the window. The other three followed him, all saying goodbye on their way out. Donny was the last one to leave, and I moved to close the window as he was leaving. He had one foot out of the window and the rest of him was inside. We stood next to each other and I remembered how I had told myself before that I would stop putting myself with him in this position. _"Shut up, Sensible Irma,"_ said the Emotional Romantic side of my brain. And Sensible Irma did.

"Bye, Don," I said.

"Bye, Irma," he responded. His eyes were darker now that I was blocking the light, but there was still one pinpoint of light in the black depths. Kind of like a single star. I bit my lip a little and the previously stern features of his face vanished. "I'll see you later," he said, and then without another word, he slipped out from the window and into the darkness.

I didn't see any of them after that. Either they were too quick or I was too slow or both, but either way, after I closed the window I stood looking outside for what felt like ages, contemplating the mess I was getting myself into. "Go to bed, Irma," I finally whispered, and this time I listened to my own good advice.

* * *

><p>A little more romance here for those of you who like it. This ended up being much longer than I had anticipated. This was going to be two chapters, but I like it like this. It's worked out well.<p>

Reviews and constructive criticism are loved!


	15. Chapter Fifteen

This particular chapter holds some interesting memories for me. I had already written most of it once before- 11 out of 15 pages- and then I somehow managed to be stupid enough to delete the whole thing. I was so furious I couldn't work on it for over a week. Luckily I got over it and have learned my lesson the hard way.

Special thanks to beta readers Colonel Pop and GoodSmileGirl.

I STILL don't own TMNT. If you haven't figured that out by now, you might need to get your memory checked.

**SPECIAL NOTE:** Due to the fact that I have two other weddings in the next couple of weeks, there will NOT be an update next Monday. There's just not enough time to get writing in while I'm running around doing things for the bride. However, the week after should be right on track. Hopefully this chapter is enough to tide you over until then. Sorry about the delay!

* * *

><p><strong>Chapter Fifteen<strong>

I didn't see much of the turtles for the next couple weeks. Actually, I saw nothing of them. Instead, Casey came over on their and April's behalf to make sure I was alright. I had just come home from work and had kicked off my shoes when he walked in, casual as you please, an icee in either hand. He handed me one and went to sit on the sofa. "So, how's things, Germ?"

Scowling at the back of his head I went to sit in the armchair next to the sofa. "It was great until you came along. Now what do you want?"

"So grouchy," he smirked at me. I stuck my tongue out at him and he tossed a pillow at my head. "So how's the arm? Feeling any better?"

"Yes, actually," I said, rubbing where the stitches still were. They were dissolving as medical threads did, but it was somewhat itchy*. "They don't hurt much anymore, just pretty sore."

"Well, that's good." Casey took a loud slurp of his icee and then gave me a long look. "I hear the guys almost got into a fight here when they brought you home."

I sighed and slumped down in my chair, not caring that my skirt slid up my legs a bit and took a long drink from my own icee. "Yeeeeep."

"Hmm." He was quiet for a moment. "What'd Raph say to get everyone so worked up anyway?"

I waved a hand in the air to imply something unimportant. "It was along the lines of letting a loser put his tongue down my throat."

He choked on his drink. "No wonder they got pissed at him."

"I'm just trying to figure out what I did to piss _him_ off."

"You didn't do anything, Germ. I'm betting it was one of three things," He lifted a finger for each idea. "First- he's started to see you as something like a sister, so if he disapproves of someone you're bringing home, he gets insulting because he's not smart enough to just tell you that the guy's beneath you and you deserve better."

"Second," he paused briefly to take another sip of his drink. "Second, he was trying to get someone else to say something."

"What do you mean?" I asked, now curious.

Casey shifted in his seat a little uncomfortably. "Well… Now, don't get mad at me, Irma, but there's been some scuttlebutt that you and Donny… Anyway, a couple of the guys are saying he's got a thing for you. So I'm betting Raph was insulting you to try to get him to react, so, y'know, something would happen between you two."

I leaned back in the armchair again with a quizzical expression. "Something happen? How'd he figure that insulting me would do that?"

"I don't know, I never said he thought the things through."

"Hmm… Wait, you said there were three ideas. What's the third one?"

"That it's some kinda mix of the two. Maybe both. You're like a sister and he wants his brother to admit he likes you."

I would totally have bought his explanation if he hadn't cleared his throat and looked around. My eyes instantly narrowed. "Caaaaseeeeey…"

"Oh, I hate it when you say my name like that," he grumbled.

"What's the REAL third thought, Casey?"

He gave an exasperated groan and stared up at the ceiling. "The other idea is that he likes you himself and he's jealous that you're dating someone else."

My jaw dropped. "WHAT?"

Throwing his hands up in the air he groaned. "Nothing, never mind."

I stood up and walked right over to him. "You explain yourself right now, buster!"

"Fine," he snapped. "Look, maybe Raph thinks of you as a sister, maybe he thinks of you as something more. Either way, he sees Donny with a chance to be with a girl, something that none of the other brothers got and to his way of thinking probably never will. Don't you get it? You're the second chick they've ever met besides April, and I ain't sharing her! If Raph does think of you as something more, then maybe he figures it's better that at least one brother be happy."

I straightened up. "Well that doesn't sound like Raphael at all."

He sighed. "Course it doesn't. He doesn't like to advertise his soft side. Truth is, he's probably got more feelings than the rest of them put together, but he hates it, so..." He shrugged.

"He acts like a badass," I said slowly. "Alright, yeah, that does make sense. But Casey, I don't think of him like that!"

"Yeah. He knows."

Casey and I watched each other, both lost in our own thoughts. "Am I a horrible person?" I asked finally.

Casey shook his head. "No, Germ, you're not. It's just a shame that of all the guys you picked the one that over thinks things too much."

I crossed my arms. "I didn't 'pick' anyone!"

"Yeah, that was a bad choice of words. Sorry."

I rested my hand in my chin, thinking. "What should I do? I mean, the only thing that Don and I have done together is dance. It's not like we've been having passionate make-out sessions in the corner. I didn't mean to do anything to get any of them to like me." Casey started laughing and I scowled at him. "I fail to see the humor in this situation, Casey!"

"Germ, you didn't _have_ to do anything. Let me put it like this: four guys without any single girls around for years. Then one shows up. They're probably going to be interested unless you help them think of you as just a friend. And Raph never takes things like you'd want him to."

With a groan I stood up and started walking around, sucking the ice through the straw furiously. "God, he probably hates me! They must think I'm a home wrecker!"

Casey shrugged and kept drinking his icee. "Well, they all know you gotta guy up here who's interested. Probably they'll back off now, figure they don't have a chance against a good-lookin' human guy."

I thought about this for a moment and crossed my arms in thought. "You think so?"

He nodded. "I'm willing to bet they'll leave you alone now unless you flat out say you're not interested in the dude. They wouldn't mess with 'taken' girls even if they had access to them. They got too much of that ninja honor or whatever."

This was a new development, and not one that I minded. I sat down again, my mind churning. Casey watched me, still lounging on the couch. "You wanna share those thoughts you're having?"

"Just considering ways to make it less awkward the next time I see the turtles."

Casey shrugged. "Just be yourself."

"Being myself is what got me into this mess in the first place."

He stood and stretched his arms out in front of him. "Too bad that's the only advice I got then."

I shot a sour glance at him. "Thanks, Casey. You're a world of help."

"That's what I'm here for."

"But what am I supposed to do? Stop saying anything they could interpret as being flirty? Because that could be hard. I say a lot of flirty things, even when I don't mean to."

Casey shrugged and stood up, heading towards the door. "I still say you should just keep acting normal around them. Best way to keep things from getting weird in my opinion. If you wanna keep things calm, just don't treat any one of them different than the others." He stopped in his tracks when he had one hand on the doorknob and turned to look back at me, his face serious. "Irma, I've known you for a couple years now, and I'm gonna just say what I've seen. You're pretty great, all things considered, but every time you go out with a guy, it's like you deliberately sabotage it. You always pick guys who either end up boring you, so you leave them, or they're jerks, and they leave you. You need to stop chasing men around who you know are idiots and wait for someone who's worth your time, even if you don't find him right away."

I laughed bitterly. "So, what, just stop dating completely and wait for Mr. Right to find me? That's worked so well for me in the past. Let's see, there was Prince Charming number one, who gave me these," I lifted my arm and pointed out the faint, circular scars of cigarette burns, "and then there's number two, who apparently slept with anyone who looked his way while we were married. Yeah, I have a great record of nice guys finding me."

He face-palmed, looking for a moment like he'd love nothing more than to grab and shake me. "I know you got some bad luck. I ain't sayin' you should stop trying to find a guy on your own too. I'm just sayin' you should be more picky. Not that I'm a shining example or anything, but April didn't go out with me until she saw that I wasn't gonna bail on her when things got tough."

Considering that they had met while the Foot were trying to kill them, I figured that was fair enough, despite the brevity of their friendship before going out together. _As if you can talk_, said my mind starkly. "Who said I'm not picky with the guys I go out with?"

"But you're picking morons still," he pointed out to me. "I dunno, maybe you think you can't do any better, which is complete bull, or maybe you're just scared. Either way, you're not gonna find some perfect guy in most of the bar scenes you hang out in."

I scowled at him but conceded that he probably had a point. But I wasn't willing to admit it, so I just drank my icee, making sure to make loud slurping noises while I was at it. Casey grinned at me, knowing it was a sign of defeat. He took his hand off the knob and walked towards me, giving' me a one-armed hug and kissing me on the forehead in a brotherly way. "I'm glad you're okay, Germ."

Still not willing to admit my downfall, but appreciating the rare display of affection, I hugged him back and said "Thanks, Casey," trying to sound grumbly without being bitchy.

He chuckled and headed out the door, saying "Don't worry too much; these things work out on their own. Later!"

After he left, I went to my sofa and contemplated what he said to me. As much as I hated to admit it, Casey was right. I did have a habit of picking out guys that weren't the best of the bunch. I guess deep down inside, there was a part of me that was just afraid of finding a guy who I actually felt good about. The last two guys I had gotten that feeling about were… well, that song had been sung. No need to keep harping at it.

Maybe I just needed to take the plunge and get over my fears. I picked up my cell phone to check the date. It was a couple of days until my rendezvous with Ken. I wasn't expecting much; honestly, I was kind of hoping he'd run out on me again so I could break it off and tell the guys so they'd stop being so angry with each other. But at the same time, I was running Casey's comments through my head. Ken _did_ come after me… and he was nice… and sweet… albeit seemed to be somewhat undependable…

Oh, what the hell. I resolved the next day to go out and buy a dress for the date.

* * *

><p>I could go into details about how the date went, but… to be honest, there isn't much to say. It was pretty much a perfect date. That's what made it so ridiculously unremarkable.<p>

Ken had called to tell me to dress up a bit since he planned to take me someplace nice, and so I had bought a black dress. The material below the bust was sleek, black velvet, and above was white with small ruffles. I wore black heels and, because it was special, my pearl earrings, necklace and bracelet. As usual, my hair was pulled up into a bun. My pink glasses were sadly throwing off the outfit, but I consoled myself with the thought that they were small and it was unlikely to be noticed.

He picked me up in his porche again, and I couldn't help but run my hands over the beautiful leather seats before I sat down. We bantered all the way to the restaurant, which turned out to be a ritzy, expensive place with crystal wine glasses and food with French sounding names. Ken ordered lobster, and I ordered some sort of venison dish. We did the whole flirty-lovey-dovey thing over hors d'oeuvres and made toasts to a fantastic evening with the wine he ordered as a surprise. Then he pulled me onto the dance floor with the dim lights and slow jazz, holding me close to him while we swayed back and forth.

It was a lovely night, and what came next should have made it perfect. "Irma," Ken whispered into my ear as he rested his head on my shoulder and gently swung me around, "would you mind making it official and being my girlfriend?"

Had I not been so incredibly relaxed at that point, I think I would have faked a stomach flu and run out of the room. But as it was, the alcohol was stirring around nicely in my blood, and the excellent meal, the slow music, the dim lights, the feel of another warm body against mine… I thought of Casey's parting words as he had left the other day. _You need to stop chasing men around who you know are idiots and wait for someone who's worth your time._

Was Ken worth my time? He was sweet to me, kind, treated me well, didn't want to give up on me, and had a stable job as a professor… He was utterly boring and normal. I closed my eyes and rested my own head against his shoulder, as he was doing to me. Maybe it was time that I tried to do something with someone worthwhile, instead of willingly putting up with half-assed relationships and idiots. A flash of purple went through my head and when my eyes shot open I could still see it imprinted in my mind.

Ken must have sensed my sudden tensing because he pulled back to look at me concernedly. "Irma?"

I looked right into his eyes, and suddenly my mind was completely made up. It was time to act like an adult, and make a responsible choice for once. After another brief moment's thought, I came to my decision and kissed him. "Yes, I would love to be your girlfriend," I said.

I tried very hard to ignore the sporadic memories of Donatello smiling at me, watching me, and talking with me as Ken pressed his lips to mine and we whirled around in a dance.

* * *

><p>Three days later, I was sitting in my apartment dangling the key that had been given to me from the dead man in my hand, and I was wearing thick flannel pajamas and big fuzzy slippers to guard against the cold of outside. Being from a much warmer part of the nation originally, I still had trouble adjusting to the snow and ice that came every winter, and liked to spend as much time as possible indoors due to getting the sniffles easily.<p>

I was trying to figure out what to do with the damn thing. I remembered what he had told me- Storage room D12- but that was pathetically little to go on, especially since I wanted very badly to see what had been so important for the man to get killed over.

The names of the bodies found in the warehouse still hadn't been released, not that I was really surprised. For all I knew, they were members of an international group of crazed assassins who put smiley faces on their victim's foreheads. Finally frustrated with my lack of progress, I groaned and tossed the key into one of the empty puzzle boxes lying around the place. Deciding that I should brave the weather in favor of exercise and fresh air, I went to my bedroom and changed into some winter clothes. I had no idea how I managed to keep my hair back in a neat bun while pulling everything over my head, but somehow I succeeded.

After managing to drape on about four layers of clothing, scarves, gloves, jackets, boots, and then finding a purse that matched the ridiculous ensemble, I headed down the stairs to the lobby, trying to decide if I wanted to take an extra long walk as a way to burn off calories, or spend about half an hour outside and then come back to my apartment to warm up with fresh chocolate chip cookies and milk.

Still in the midst of a violent mental debate (Exercise? Over _cookies_? Health was overrated anyway.) I arrived at the lobby, trying my best not to look like a human marshmallow dyed multiple colors. I was slightly annoyed. I may have been in perfect attire for outside, but I was inside, and was starting to sweat. Ew. Sweat. While it seemed sexy enough on guys, on myself it was something I did not tolerate.

I made my way huffing and puffing towards the lobby door, not paying attention to anything around me- until there was a sudden wall of black in front of me. Blinking, I looked up and saw that the wall of black was a man wearing nothing but that color. He didn't look happy, and he was definitely Japanese.

"Well, shit," I said.

A rather satisfied smile appeared on his face. "Miss Langinstein," he said, his voice sounding definitely Asian, "we would appreciate it very much if you would kindly come with us."

"Uh…" I began weakly, "us?"

And then three other equally large Asian men came out of nowhere and surrounded me. "Sure, sounds

great," I told them. "I was planning on dying sometime anyway."

The Cheshire Cat grins they cast at me were not at all reassuring.

* * *

><p>The four of them guided me outside and down the street to a parked limo with darkened windows. One of them opened the door for me and tried to look as non-threatening as possible as he gestured for me to slide in. He didn't succeed very well.<p>

"Feel free to help yourself to any of the refreshments inside," the first man said. He was the apparent leader, and waited for me to get in before closing the door behind me. I was pretty relieved that I was alone. I didn't feel particularly safe with four Asian giants surrounding me. I wasn't sure where they were sitting, but I guessed it was in the compartment up front. Suddenly, the door opened again and he stuck his head inside. "Also, if you would like to remove your jackets, don't hesitate to do so. It will be warm with the heater on." And with that, he was gone again. I sat very still waiting to see if he'd pop back in, but when the limo started moving, I figured it was safe to assume that I wasn't going to be interrupted any more.

The interior of the limo was very luxurious. It had leather seats, lighting on the ceiling that changed colors, and next to me on the mini-bar was a platter of petit fours and a chilled bottle of what looked to be very expensive champagne. I checked the bottle. It was _very_ expensive. Next to the bottle was a crystal champagne flute that looked like it might be worth more than me. I was almost afraid to pick it up, but then I remembered that I was kind of being kidnapped, so I stopped worrying about it and poured myself a glass.

It was good stuff.

I tried to look out the window as we went along, but they were darkened on the inside as well as the outside. It was possible to make out blurry shapes of buildings and trees, but not nearly clear enough to read street signs or notice any recognizable landmarks. I tried to close my eyes and count how many turns we made so I could backtrack from my apartment, but eventually I just gave up and decided to enjoy the ride. I downed about three glasses of champagne and had four of the petite fours before the limo stopped. By that point I had stripped down to my jeans and blue v-neck t-shirt, so I wasn't looking forward to putting all the layers back on again. Besides, they were lying in a pile at my feet and it would have taken at least five minutes to separate the scarves from the sweaters alone. With a sigh of resignation, I decided it was better to just let it be and waited for what I was sure was my inevitable doom.

The limo door opened any my escort leaned in. He stared briefly at the pile of clothes on the floor and then turned to me. "If you would follow us. Your things will remain safe here."

"Yeah, but what about me?" I asked.

He smiled. Somehow, it didn't reassure me as much as I think he was hoping it would. Realizing that sticking behind would probably just make him upset at me, and that might prompt him to pull out a gun or pointy object, I decided that it might be best to just go along with it. If I was going to die, I could at least do it with some dignity.

The car had been parked in a garage of some sort, and it was filled with shelves of things in round containers and boxes, all looking remarkably similar. I was led through a door in the garage which brought us into a dimly lit hallway and past a few doors. One of them was open, and I looked inside to see a large kitchen. Utterly surprised, I stopped dead in my tracks and stared inside. They were making what looked to be sushi and other Japanese looking foods. I was nudged gently but firmly in the back by one of the guards and I continued walking on, suddenly struck with the fear that they would chop me up and make Irma Tempura. With any luck, someone would eat a piece of me and I'd get lodged in their throat and make them choke to death, and the autopsy would reveal my toe in someone's esophagus. Then everyone in the business would get shut down and sent to prison for the next five hundred years.

"It could be worse," I said aloud to myself. "I could be turned into fish food instead. Irma Langin-Flakes."

The two men in front of me turned and stared as though I'd grown a second head, but made no comment.

At the end of the hall was an elevator, and they pressed a button which allowed the doors to open to reveal a surprisingly lovely elevator with mirrors and wooden panels inlaid with what looked like gold paint. The leader swept his hand out into the elevator and stepped back so that I could get in, which I did. He followed shortly after, but the other three men remained behind. He pressed a button and the elevator began to vibrate with movement. I had the sudden urge to vomit from fear and had to use all my willpower to hold it back.

When the doors opened again, we were standing outside a pair of large double doors with dragon head handles made of shiny bronze. Large pots filled with what looked like little palm trees stood on either side of the doors. The two of us stepped from the elevator and the man knocked on the door before opening on and stepping inside, closing it behind him. I heard soft murmurs and then the man stepped back out and moved to the side. "Please, enter," he told me.

The room swam in front of me. Images of me lying at the bottom of the Hudson Bay wearing shoes made of cement flooded my mind and once again, the urge to vomit came back. I somehow managed to stumble through the doors without throwing my breakfast up all over my feet though. My nausea disappeared once I was inside in favor of sheer shock.

The only source of light came from a window in the back of the room, the sunshine spilling over the clean, polished wooden floors. On the walls, also wooden panels, were wall scrolls depicting pictures of samurai fighting and battle scenes. Suits of Japanese armor stood looking clean and immovable, like sentries. Even devoid of men wearing them they looked kind of scary. But the most frightening thing of all in the entire room was a woman sitting in a chair behind a table that was covered in Japanese food, leisurely picking at her meal as though it was all beneath her.

There was an empty chair with an equally empty plate and cup in front of it.

The woman spoke. "Miss Langinstein, please come and sit." I did as she said with slow, mechanical movements and I studied her face as she poked the sushi rolls and hibachi cooked meats with her chopsticks. "Feel free to help yourself," she said. "There are beverages available as well." She glanced up at me as I made no move towards the food or anything else, and I saw a pair of startlingly green eyes. "I assure you, it is perfectly safe. I have no desire to cause you harm in any fashion. When our business is concluded, you will be safely escorted back to your apartment."

I said nothing while she spoke, and then when she was done, I asked "Who are you?"

"My name is Oroku Karai."

All of the blood drained from my face and I visibly swayed in my seat. I knew who she was- Karai, the adopted daughter of the Shredder, their sworn enemy and would-be assassin of the four turtle brothers. If she knew who I was and my connection to them, then I could only be in severe trouble. "Are any of the drinks alcoholic?" She picked up a bottle of saki and held it out for me to take. "Thank you." Without another word I tipped my head back, put the bottle to my lips and began to chug. Once that bottle was done, I put it down and reached for another, drinking all of it as well. Without a further word I began to pile my plate up with fried rice, hibachi chicken and steak and sushi. If they were going to kill me, I was sure as hell going to have a good last meal. And it was delicious stuff.

Karai waited until I had shoveled a good deal into my mouth before speaking again. "Impressive," she said, and pointed to the two bottles. "Again, I do not mean to harm you, despite your connection to the turtles." So she _did _know. I stuffed three pieces of sushi into my mouth at once with a groan of trepidation. "Despite your… incredulity… about the statement, I speak the truth. The Foot Clan is experiencing a rather…" she seemed to search for an appropriate word before settling on changing her statement. "We are experiencing a difficulty in maintaining command within certain branches of our order. Due to the complexities of the situation, we ourselves cannot deal with it."

"Let me guess," I said, finally swallowing down a mouthful of chicken and sauce. "The people that the turtles have been getting into scrapes with are the ones that won't listen to you."

"Correct."

"And you want to encourage the turtles to continue to piss them off because for some reason that you won't tell me, you can't just kill them."

"Also correct."

"Alright. I understand all that. What I _don't _understand," I leaned forward to look her in the eyes, "is where I fit into the picture? I mean, I admit that I've hung out with them and gone on an excursion or two," (mostly just recon work with April which always resulted in me sitting around being bored for a few hours) "but if you wanted them to keep on kicking these people around, why not tell them yourself? Or even better, just leave them alone? It's not like they're going to help you willingly. Why bother me at all?"

"Because," and this time it was her turn to lean forward and look at me, "I know that you have a key given to you by a former member of our clan."

There was dead silence. Then- "Oh."

It was all I could really say to the situation. I hadn't expected this at all. I was completely flabbergasted and at a loss for words. Luckily for me, Karai was not and she continued on with what I could only assume was a business proposition. "I will give you the necessary information to find the storage room to which that key belongs if you promise to take whatever is in it and keep it safe."

"Keep it safe? From who?"

"Anyone. Everyone. I can say nothing more except that the contents of the room are not things which can be abused without dire repercussions. I give you this information to use as you will because I myself am unable to act upon it, and someone must. I tell this to you because you are still an unknown. Your connection to the turtles is still thin at best, and you are, respectfully, no threat to anyone."

I sank down in my chair a little, poking at my food. "Well, thanks so much."

Karai gave a derisive snort and waved her hand dismissively. "Whether you like it or not, this is the truth. This is no gift I have for you. The only reason no one will try to kill you for it is because no one will know you have it save for myself, and I will tell no one."

My eyes narrowed. "And how do I know you'll tell the truth?"

Karai stared at me in such a way as to make me want to sink down into the ground. "I…" she said, her voice solemn and deadly, "am _ninja_. _I do not lie_." The last words were hissed through clenched teeth, her eyes full of rage.

I held my hands up to show my defeat. "Alright. Fine. But if I'm putting my life on the line, I want something in return."

She studied my face and took a sip of her saki slowly before cautiously asking "What is it you want?"

"I want a favor, and I want you to leave the turtles alone."

"That is impossible," she responded curtly. "The turtles have made themselves the enemies of the Foot, and they cannot be ignored."

I thought for a moment before asking for a different one. "Okay, um, how about the next time you have the chance to kill them, you don't."

"Would this not count as the favor?" she inquired.

I shook my head adamantly. "No, because I'm saving your ass and the Foot's ass, and if I'm going to betray my friends like that, then I want to know that they'll at least be kept safe."

Karai sat back and considered my offer. Finally she nodded. "Very well. I accept your terms. One chance for each of them to survive, and one favor in return for you taking the object and keeping it safe at your own risk."

"Be warned," she cautioned, "that should you find yourself in jeopardy because of this, the Foot cannot aid you. You are essentially on your own once you take this information."

I thought about what she said. "I'll do it anyway," I told her.

A grin spread across her face. "Bargain struck," she said, and told me what I needed to know. "The man's name was Akutagawa Isamu, and the storage facility is known as King's Point Storage. And now," she stood up, "it is time for you to leave."

"One more thing," I said, holding up my hand in supplication.

She snarled at me. "What?"

I pointed to the food on the table and said "Could I have a Go-Box please?"

Her eye twitched, but she said yes just the same.

* * *

><p>Just as promised, I was returned home via the limo that I had been picked up in, my arms full of my winter clothes and food. I had eaten the rest of the petite fours in the limo on the way back and took the bottle of champagne with me as I left. I almost felt bad about it. Then I remembered who they were and I stopped.<p>

I polished off the last of the champagne that night as I contemplated how to proceed. I could ask someone for help… But if Karai was to be trusted, then the fewer people who knew about it, the better for me. An idea came to mind and I (somewhat drunkenly) reached for my cell phone and tried to dial April's number. I frowned as the number pad became blurry and I tried holding it away from my face.

"Well, damn."

"Irma?" I looked up from my lounging spot on the couch to see a familiar purple-clad turtle clambering in through my window, watching me with a bemused and entertained expression.

"Heya, Donaldo!" I greeted, throwing my hands in the air in excitement. "I was just trying to call April, but the numbers are rebelling. I think they're plotting to overthrow me."

"Uh-huh…" He glanced at the empty bottle of champagne on the table and then back at me. "How much have you had today, Irms?"

"Apparently enough to make my phone think it can rebel! Also, I can't dial things right. I can't see anything. The phone hates me."

"Or maybe it's because you aren't wearing your glasses."

I patted my face. "I'm not? Oh, I'm not. Where're those things?" I got up to look around, but wobbled and fell into Don's outstretched arms. I grinned up at him drunkenly. "Seems the room has decided to move to the sea. It's rocking."

"I think it's time for you to go to bed."

"Noooooo! It's too early! I'm not tired! I don't wanna go to bed!"

He ignored my protests and carried me into my bedroom, gently laying me on the bed. I was already wearing my pajamas, so he just pulled off my slippers and managed to let my hair down, carefully pulling out the bobby pins so that he didn't pull my hair. His fingers lingered a little longer than necessary, but I didn't mind. I turned my head and nuzzled my face into his hands contentedly. "Snuggle with me?"

He froze. "Irma, I think that would be a very, very bad idea."

"Whhhhyyyyyy?" I whined, and stared up at him with big puppy eyes. He sighed and lifted his eyes up to the ceiling as if searching for an answer as to why I was so infuriatingly irresistible. Or at least that's how I choose to interpret it. "Pretty, pretty, pretty please?" I begged. "I'm lonesome and you can even use my pillows."

"Such largesse," he said dryly, but he leaned his bo staff in the corner and began to take off his belt and put it on my dresser. I gave a squeak of delight as he crawled onto the bed next to me and let me snuggle against his side. His shell was hard, but I liked tracing the groves in it with my fingers. There were scratches and chips missing from it from weapons, and in my alcohol hazed mind I imagined things such as angry unicorns breaking their horns on his shell. I giggled, which earned me another weird look and I rested my head on his shoulder. "You're comfy," I said with a sigh of approval. He said nothing but let me get comfortable. Before I drifted off I thought how it felt nice when he stroked his hand lightly along the length of my arm.

* * *

><p>The next morning I woke up to find myself tucked in with my blankets pulled up to my chin and my glasses on my bedside table along with a glass of water and some pills. I reached out for the glasses and gave a moan of pain. "Ooooh, too much champagne." I put the glasses on and read "For your headache. Try not to operate any heavy machinery for a few hours after taking these." It was signed Donatello, and since his bo staff and belt were gone I could only assume that he had left long before I woke up.<p>

I managed to take the pills and drink some water without somehow killing myself, and then afterwards went back to sleep for a few hours. I woke up later at around noon feeling much better. As I lay in bed, I tried to decide what I should do that day. My first instinct was to go see Donatello, but I didn't want to open that can of worms. With a huge stab of guilt, I realized that I had cuddled with him and let him lay in my bed, and I hadn't even thought of Ken at the time. I may have been a lot of things, but never a two-timer, as some would call it. I pulled a pillow over my face with a groan of misery when I realized that I liked cuddling with Donny more than I did with my own boyfriend. I remained in this position of self-loathing (or something similar) for a few minutes until I decided that it would be better to get up and do something instead of wallowing in self pity.

I jumped up and right away and knew what I needed to do. I quickly pulled on a pair of pink shorts and a white and pink t-shirt to match my glasses, which of course necessitated the proper choice of makeup and shoes. About fifteen minutes later with my hair tied back and my eyes properly mascara-d, I took the Death Key and my car keys and headed down to Gary the Camrey.

The night before I had looked up directions to the storage facility that Karai had told me about, so I knew how to get there. I had also cleaned out my car just in case the thing I was getting was somehow sentient and had a thing about cleanliness. Also I had noticed a smell in there a few days before, so it needed doing anyway.

I arrived at the storage facility within a half hour with little confusion from the directions. I had told the woman at the counter that I was Mr. Akutagawa's secretary and was here to pick up his things. She hadn't seemed too interested in me to begin with, so she had no problem directing me straight to the storage room. It was on the third floor and the door was remarkably normal looking despite the item of destruction and chaos that was supposed to be inside. I stood outside of it for a minute fingering the key, trying to figure out a way get my courage up to open the door. I wasn't quite sure what I was expecting- a portal to a dimension filled with gigantic girl-eating Minotaurs maybe. Eventually though I decided that it would just be best to get it over with.

"Like ripping off a bandaid," I told myself. "Or like when you get waxed. Always better to just rip it off and get it over with."

With that, I stuck the key in the door and opened it up expecting something large with big teeth to come for my throat. Instead I was greeted with the sight of several crates and boxes stacked up against the walls.

"Well, this is just the very definition of anti-climactic," I grumbled, and went into count the boxes. There were five of them, and big enough that I could only carry them one at a time. There was nothing provided to help move things out, so I was left with just my own womanpower.

Several trips, swearing jags and with two strained arms later, I arrived back at my apartment and got to take all five of them all the way back up to my place- one at a time. By the time I had everything out of my car and in my office, I was ready to just torch the damn things and be done with it. I rewarded myself with the last of the food that I had taken from Karai's place and stared at the crates, wondering which one I should open first.

Eventually I threw my hands in the air and just cracked them open one after another. And, surprise, surprise, they were all filled with puzzle boxes. Every single goddamned crate was full of the things. Once again, the idea of setting them all on fire came to mind. But then I remembered there were cool things inside so eventually I settled on smashing them open and taking out the prizes. I would be getting rid of frustration and still get the stuff. Win-Win. I had the weekend off, so I decided to spend the rest of the day doing just that and throwing out the shattered boxes.

I won't bore you with the details. I'll summarize and just say that I got through two of the crates that day and had a pile of shattered wood on one side and random shiny crap on the other. I was _this close_ to tossing it all out the window when I got to the third crate. The boxes in this one were really big, because they were the most difficult, and so the prizes were much bigger and valuable in nature. Picking one at random, I pulled it into my arms, went back to the living room, picked up my baseball bat and swung it at the box expecting it to go flying across the room and splinter into a thousand pieces like the others.

Instead, I heard a loud CRACK, my arms flew back from the shockwave sent through them from the resistance of the box, and my bat broke. Or rather, a huge crack ran through it, rendering it useless. My jaw dropped as I looked from my bat to the box, and then back again. Suddenly I froze. _I knew what this was._

The wooden cover was a ploy. It had broken, and as I knelt to pull it away, a metal surface revealed itself to me. Once I had it completely clear of debris, I sat back, my eyes wide with shock.

The box on the inside was made of pure metal. I didn't know what kind it was, and it didn't matter. It was more intricate than any other box I had seen before. Each panel was different from the other, but there were just so many, all different sizes and shapes, and I couldn't even see if there was a lid to it. Whoever had made this thing had been a genius, and I found myself wondering how long it must have taken to build it.

Finally, once my awe had gone down, I reached out to run my hand along the surface, and a jolt when through me. It wasn't like a static charge or anything- it was a hum of power. It was a power that I had never experienced before. It was as though whatever was in the box was alive and it was _waiting_. I pulled my hand back and rubbed it with my other, eyes wide behind my glasses.

Whatever was inside that box was not meant to be touched by human hands, or at least not my hands. And yet I couldn't help myself. I had to know… I had to see… I reached out once more with both hands, and this time the hum didn't bother me as much. My fingers slid across the surface curiously, feeling the ridges and the groves on it until finally-

I pressed down on one panel and I heard a faint 'click'. I moved around and saw that another panel was open. I let a shaky breath that I didn't know I was holding escape, and I sat back on the floor. Now I knew I could do it. I was satisfied.

With that settled, I immediately pushed it back into my office and covered it up with random crap. Then I went back to the living room and threw away all of the wood and put the prizes in my room to sort through when I felt like it.

After it was all done, I flopped down onto my bed and sighed. Once again I found myself in the debate of telling the others or keeping it to myself. No doubt they'd be interested to know what was going on… but at the same time, I had serious doubts that they would understand my interactions and trust of Karai. In fact, they'd probably be completely furious at me. I was torn even more now; I wanted very badly to share this with everyone, especially the guys, but the fact that I had kept it a secret for so long couldn't possibly go over well, or help them to see my case any more favorably than they would have had I told them before. At best, they'd be very upset with me. At worst… I had a sudden image of Donatello looking at me with fury and disgust, and I shut my eyes against it, pushing my glasses up my forehead while pressing my palms against my eyes, willing the thoughts to go away and leave me be.

Mercifully, my cell phone started ringing at this point. I snatched it up, praying that it was something to distract me from my thoughts. "Hello?"

"_Hey, babydoll."_

I felt a smile come across my face. I may have had a hard time handling my emotions around Donny, but I genuinely did like and care for Ken. "Hey, handsome. How are you?"

"_I'm alright. I just wanted to call my girl and tell her I think she's fantastic."_

"Thanks, babe. I think you're wonderful too."

"_Oh, good. I was worried for a moment there."_ I could hear the grin in his voice and it made me smile more. "Whatcha need, hun?"

"_Nothing, just wondering what you're doing tomorrow."_

"Tomorrow? Nothing. You inviting me to do something?"

"_I was wondering if you wanted to eat lunch with me during your break tomorrow. We could do a mini-picnic or something."_

"That's so sweet."

"_So yes?"_

"Of course, yes."

The two of us spent the next hour or so just chatting about our days and how things were and just joking and saying sweet, flirty things to each other. And for a few minutes, I forgot about all of the horrible things that had happened lately. I forgot about the confusion I felt in my affections towards two different guys, one not even human. I forgot about the fact that people out there would kill me if they had the chance. I forgot that I had been kidnapped practically the day before, and I forgot that I had a huge gash in my shoulder that would always remain as a scar. For a just a little while I could pretend that I was a normal girl dating a normal guy, and that we were slowly starting to fall for each other.

It was just a dream, but it was a good dream.

* * *

><p>*As someone who has had surgical stitches, I can personally vouch for the itchiness factor.<p>

So, there's chapter 15. Took me ages, but I finally managed to hammer it all out. It's a little shorter than my original chapter was going to be- in the first version I had Irma and Karai almost get into a catfight because Karai threatened to kill April and Casey right then if Irma didn't cooperate, but I edited that out in the second draft because the two girls seemed very OOC.

For those of you who don't know who Karai is, she was introduced into TV with the 2003 cartoon series (she had been in comics before then) as the adopted daughter of the Shredder and his second-in-command. I first knew her from the 2007 movie myself, but I gave her green eyes from the cartoon. This is really her only big spot in this story, but she may come up again later.

This is also the LONGEST chapter that I have written so far. This might change though, as this isn't the most important chapter by any means. This section could be considered the beginning of Part Two, I suppose. From here on out, it's a lot more action, a lot more ineptness, A LOT of explosions, and a healthy heaping of awkward, occasionally romantic moments. I look forward to writing it and I hope you look forward to reading it.

As always, reviews and constructive criticism are wonderful and greatly appreciated. If you're going to favorite my story and put it on your alert list, leave me a review as to why. They really do help a lot with motivation and help improve my writing with helpful comments. Thank you all very much.


	16. Chapter Sixteen

Well, here we are. Chapter 16. I have to say that I have been looking forward to this chapter for a long time now. It's one of those things where you have this grand moment in your head and you want to get it out, but you have to wait until all this other stuff happens first. That's what this chapter has been for me. Very excited about it.

Thank you all for being so patient and waiting for me to update. I was seriously exhausted after being in two weddings and helping to plan a third (what is it with people getting married this year?). Hopefully this chapter will make it up to y'all.

Thanks to my beta-readers, GoodSmileGirl and Colonel Pop for the time they've put into helping me.

Warning- there's some strong language towards the end of the chapter due to Irma being half drunk and really pissed off. I normally don't put a lot of profanity in my stories, but it fit perfectly in this instance.

* * *

><p><strong>Chapter Sixteen<strong>

I decided to go home for Thanksgiving that year to see my twin sister and little brother, but within two days of being there I had developed an eye twitch and an unhealthy reliance on alcohol. With this development, I cut my visit short and came back home instead. My mother had, of course, grilled me about my love life and lack of common sense when I told her I had a new boyfriend.

"Two husbands is one too many," she had said while editing her new ethnography book. "Fifteen boyfriends is absurd."

"My first husband was an abusive drunk, Mother," I replied, wishing that I had a flask with me. "And I have one boyfriend, not fifteen."

"And your second seemed to have a weakness for infidelity," she continued on as though she hadn't heard me. Her hair, once the same color as mine and now graying was pulled back into a bun, a habit that I picked up from her, and glanced up over her own glasses at me sternly. "I can assure you, Irma Rose, that should you continue this distasteful habit of picking up crude men and then discarding them, you'll eat up your inheritance. Your father and I are going to start paying for your weddings out of what we're going to leave for you."

My eye twitched and I slapped a hand over it. "Don't worry," I told her. "I don't plan on getting married again any time soon."

"I should hope not. If I've told you once, Irma Rose, I've told you a hundred times- if you're not going to be practical about it, don't bother with it."

The rest of the conversation has been blocked out from my memory, but seeing as how the next day I was on a plane back to New York, I can only assume that it just kept going downhill. If it wasn't for the fact that my Aunt Mavin made the best stuffing in the entire world, I would have been happy to make a turkey sandwich and leave it at that.

* * *

><p>When I got back home, I staggered through the door to my apartment, dragging my roller-bag behind me and letting it fall to the floor as soon as it was inside. I then went straight to my room, tossed my glasses onto my bedside table and collapsed onto my bed with a groan, still wearing my jacket and shoes. I don't know how long I lay there, just that I didn't even lift my head when I heard my window open and close and a familiar cheery voice call out my name.<p>

"Hey! Irms! Where are you, dudette? I got this totally awesome idea and-"

I half shouted, half grumbled something and I heard footsteps approaching me. "Woah," the voice said, and I opened one eye to see Michelangelo standing there. "Irms, you look, like, totally smashed."

"I feel like it, except I skipped the part with the beer." I closed my eye again. I felt the bed bounce as Mikey flopped down on it next to me and lift his legs up to rest on my bed so he could look at me without turning his head sideways.

"So, I got this plan-"

"If it involves fireworks or cats, I don't want to hear it."

A brief silence. "ANYWAY, I want to have a Christmas party in the Lair this year."

I lifted my head up and turned towards him. When I saw that he was still grinning, but in his "I'm still happy, but I'm serious" way. With another groan I slowly flipped over so I was lying on my back and then sat up. "Alright. Whatcha need?"

He bounced on the bed, his expression positively giddy. "I just need you to help me get some stuff together." He whispered the word 'stuff' conspiratorially, leaning in with a mischievous look on his face. My own eyes narrowed. "Again, if this involves fireworks or cats-"

"Naw, just cake and cooking stuff. I wanna make a huuuuge dinner and gift exchange for everyone!" Throwing his arms out to bring emphasis his words, I could only imagine that he was thinking of a verifiable feast. "Well, what do you guys do usually?"

He shrugged, suddenly looking less enthused. "Usually we just order pizza. I like pizza, but I want Christmas to be extra special since, y'know… it's one of the few times that we really get to celebrate anything." His gaze left mine and suddenly the wood grain of the floor seemed intensely interesting to him. It struck me, suddenly, how difficult their lives had to be, being fundamentally different than all other sapient species on the planet in their form and origin. It must have been awful, how they spent their entire lives with a secret buried fear of discovery but an equally strong longing for it, for a wish to be able to walk among others that they saw and saved every night, but could never mingle with. Christmas, then, must have been one of the few ways they could feel connected with everyone; a universal celebration had to include them as well, didn't it? These thoughts had crossed my mind before, but they had never hit me as strongly as they did then.

Placing a hand on his arm, I gave him a smile as he turned back to me. "Just tell me what you need," I said to him. "I'll get it for you. What do you want me to do?"

He gave me a hundred-watt grin and we began to plan.

* * *

><p>The preparations for that Christmas dinner were made in complete secret, with messages sent via secret codes and rendezvous points where we made drop-offs and used terrible British accents while pretending to be covert operations agents. Mikey became Agent Awesome and I was dubbed Agent Amazing. It was originally Agent Bondette, but I vetoed that in favor of something that wouldn't get me weirded out every time it was said. Mental pictures of me dressed like a dominatrix and holding a gun always came to me when he called me that.<p>

Other than the arguing we had over our codenames, things went very smoothly as the month progressed. Mikey would give me a list of things he needed, and I'd buy them and bring them back to my apartment where we'd meet up, plan some more, and then he'd leave to go home. Occasionally the two of us would head down to the lair to work on things, but due to the secret nature of our activities, we tried to hide it from the others as much as possible. Which means that we were completely obvious and somewhat pitiful in our hiding attempts.

"You'd probably do better to just do it all at your place," Leo commented one day, his utter disinterest in us underlined as we crept behind his back carrying plastic bags filled with stuff while he tried to meditate. "It'd be _quieter_ if you did."

Raph and Donny had both taken one look at us moving our secret things around and had decided it was better off not knowing what we were up to. Master Splinter was the only one who actually asked us about it, and when we told him that it was a non-explosive, probably non flammable project, he reluctantly allowed us to continue after making us take solemn oaths that we would clean up whatever mess we left behind.

"He's gotten used to you keeping the place neat," Michelangelo explained to me. "Whenever you come down with new cleaning supplies, he gets all excited."

He referred to my occasional trips down to the Lair to hang out with the boys and also clean for them. Although I suppose my task was probably perpetuating the gender stereotypes of women being the house keepers, I found myself not particularly caring since the boys often helped out and, y'know, had saved my life a few times.

My relationship with Ken became increasingly strained during this time as well. Although things had begun well, or at least had seemed to, the two of us were slowly becoming more distant as time passed. It may seem somewhat biased to say that I felt like I was doing my part to keep it together and that the blame lay mostly with him, but I honestly felt that way. I tried to call him at least once a day if he didn't stop by to see me, but he started answering my calls less and less. Not only that, but he had started to leave me in the midst of our dates, if he even showed up at all. My work with Mikey kept me occupied and left me little free time to think about the state of things between us though.

It became apparent one day after an explosive argument on the phone that things were not going quite as I had foreseen. I was down in the Lair with Mikey (I am amazed that they somehow managed to get reception and internet down there) when I got a call from Ken. I don't really want to go into the whole conversation because it still makes my blood pressure go up, but basically it started with him saying he wanted to spend Christmas together and I told him I had plans. Then he got mad and said I was avoiding him. I'm sure that you can deduce how well that went over. The entire Lair was echoing my screams of rage while I listed every time he had managed to bail on a date with me and that if he ever tried to pull that on me again, he wouldn't be around for Santa to bring coal to. Or something along those lines.

When I was done with that conversation, I noticed that Mikey was whistling rather happily to himself as he continued to make decorations, and as Raph and Leo walked by on their way to the training room, they seemed remarkably smug about something. Donnie was the only one to try to say something to cheer me up about the fight, but I was in a grouchy mood and determined to stay that way for at least five minutes. Afterwards I let him get me a bowl of ice cream to feel better.

Things between Donatello and myself remained friendly, but still somewhat distant. Why this was so, I really can't say, nor could I tell you who exactly was at fault for continuing it. Looking back on it, it was probably a mutual thing between us, an unconscious urge to shy away from that particular can of worms. Probably we both knew that once it was opened, it wasn't getting close again, so it was just better to let it be. The thing was, neither of us really wanted to let it be, so it turned into a sort of weird relationship where we liked being in each other's company but restricted our topics of conversation to the weather and our health. Of course, seeing as how the turtles were almost always getting into some sort of a fight, this usually led to a decent amount of discourse.

Nothing significant happened between us until the day of the Christmas Party. I came down into the Lair early to help Mikey set everything up, and the two of us kicked the other three brothers out and restricted Splinter to his rooms while we furiously decked the halls with our makeshift ornaments. The pièce de résistance, however, was what the two of us had managed to smuggle down into the sewers with no small amount of frustration and arguing with each other- a real, honest-to-God Christmas Tree that we set up in the middle of the Great Room.

It wasn't easy getting it down there; when Mikey had first suggested the idea to me, I had answered his query with one of my own. "Michelangelo, how in the heck are we supposed to get a LIVING tree down there?"

He had waved his hand dismissively. "Fine, then, we'll get a fake one."

"We can't get a fake Christmas tree!" I had argued, my nose wrinkling with distaste. "Fake trees look awful. Plus they don't have the Christmas smell."

"Christmas smell?"

"Yeah, living Christmas trees smell like Christmas." I didn't actually ever have a Christmas tree in my own house; I only knew the smell from having spent time at friend's homes during the season.

He'd had no response to that other than bring up my original point that it would be hard to bring one down. We then switched our positions, where I said we should bring one, and he finally acquiesced. It occurred to me, as we set the thing up, that Mikey was a lot more tricky than I had given him credit for, but when I accused him of using reverse psychology on me, he had said he had no idea what that was. I had no response to this other than "Well played."

When everything was finally set up, I had Mikey get the guys while I showered and changed into a green and red dress with gold accessories. When I came out, the other three were showing their appreciation for our hard work in their various ways. Leonardo was admiring the fine job we had done with the decorations, Donnie was impressed with somehow managing to do it all in such a short amount of time, and Raph was excited for the food since the smell was now wafting through the room. Splinter, of course, had few words to say, but they were wonderful and left the two of us glowing from the praise.

Later, April and Casey came down and put their presents in a under the tree, and we had the typical Christmas party where we made toasts and joked and laughed and danced with each other. We decided not to open up each other's gifts until after dinner. I had somehow managed to grab three of my own chairs and bring them down for our use and we extended the dining table with a fold-out one, not that I think anyone was complaining once they got the food. Michelangelo had slaved over this meal, and I had done my fair share with it as well. The two of us sat next to each other at the head, beaming with satisfaction and no small amount of personal pride.

"Mikey," I grinned at him. "Best. Idea. Ever."

He gave me a huge smile back and two thumbs up. "Never would have been able to do it without you, dudette. You rock."

Finally, after we had all eaten enough to the point of exploding, Mikey and I stood up trying to look important and dignified, but not succeeding very well. We kept sniggering at the sound of each other trying to be all noble-looking suddenly.

"The time has come," Mikey began.

"The Walrus said, to talk of other things," I interrupted, and he kicked me lightly (for a ninja turtle), making me say Ow. "As I was saying before I was so rudely interrupted," he continued, giving me his best rendition of the Evil Eye, "I think it's time to do the present thing and rip off some wrapping paper!"

"We haven't brought our things out yet, doofus!" said Raph.

"Then go grab 'em, egg head!" I said back to him, and with that, we all went off to fetch the gifts. I was about to offer to help Master Splinter, but Leo quickly filled that role while Mikey volunteered to grab his along with his own. Raph when to get his own stuff and when I asked if he needed help, he said "What, you think I can't handle a few boxes? Sheesh." But he grinned while he said it. Mikey popped up next to me. "Hey, why don't you go help Donny? He might need an extra hand." I was about to say something, but then he was off and so were the rest of them. Donny had already gone to his Lab, so I went down Arsenal Ally and found him inside his lab trying to wrap a gift hurriedly.

"Don?" I called. "I'm coming in!"

There was a groan and then "Okay. Just don't judge me."

"For what?" I asked, and then as I approached the table I saw what for. He had been trying to wrap all of the gifts using a few half-used rolls of wrapping paper and duct tape. I covered my mouth with my hand, but a snigger escaped nonetheless. His eyes narrowed at me behind his purple bandana. "You laugh and you can just forget about your present." I instantly sobered up and looked appropriately repentant. He stared at me for a heartbeat to make sure that I could hold the serious face, and then gave an approving nod. "I just need help wrapping these things. I ran out of time."

"You don't say."

"Present is going in the closet-"

"No, no, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, here, I'll help you wrap them!" This offer appeared to mollify him and he handed me a pair of scissors and a roll of paper. "Want me to do mine?"

"You can do _Casey's_. Touch yours and I'll toss you into a closet with shuriken stars." I made a sad face at him and he sighed and relented. "Fine, I'd just deprive you of earrings for a day."

"What? Are you crazy? That's even _worse_!"

We continued to poke fun at each other like this while we wrapped up the gifts, and I realized suddenly that this was the closest I had been to him, both physically and in just friendly ways, for a while. I turned my head to look at him and felt a jolt go through me as I recognized the feeling. I had _missed_ him.

Sure, we had spent time together and talked before, but I hadn't felt this comfortable around him in a long time. As if sensing my shifting mood, Donatello glanced over at me, curiosity on his features. "What's wrong?" he asked.

Not wanting to ruin the moment with some emotional statement, I shook my head, trying to convey my disinterest in the subject. "Nothing." Turning back to the package at hand, I neatly folded the corners and taped them off. "Finished!" I said triumphantly, and picked up a sticky bow to put on top. "All done."

"Very nice," he said, and we piled up the gifts between us and began to walk out of the Lab.

Unexpectedly, we caught Mikey right outside with a wicked grin on his face and a camera in his hands. Don and I glanced at each other, confused. "Mikey," I asked, "what're you doing?"

He said nothing, but pointed up. With a sinking feeling, my eyes traveled the path of his finger to discover that Donatello and I had unwittingly found ourselves under that most dangerous of Christmas decorations- mistletoe.

"Michelangelo Hamato, I am going to get you if it's the last thing I do," I told him. Donatello just looked like he was going to drop everything and beat his younger brother into the ground. He might have too, had not Leonardo and Raphael suddenly appeared behind him, both wearing frighteningly similar smug grins. "This means war," I said to the three.

Mikey paid no attention to my threats, but shook the camera at me. "Aw, c'mon, Irms, just for the photo album. Doesn't have to be long or anything."

His pleading voice managed to break down my resolve somewhat. His wish for a Christmas with all the trimmings matched the wish I once had a long time ago. Finally relenting, I gave an exasperated sigh and shoved the gifts I was carrying into Raph's arms. "One time, one photo," I said firmly. Mikey nodded in agreement and Leo took the gifts that Don was holding.

Don turned to me wearing an expression of nervous apprehension, mixed with something else that I couldn't quite discern.

"Jesus, Donny, would ya calm down? It's not like you're cutting off an arm or somethin'," Raph said condescendingly to his brother. I saw a flush of color creep into Don's cheeks, and before he could move to punch Raph in the jaw, I took his face in mine and pressed my lips against his. I could feel his body go completely into shock, and as I heard the click of the camera, I knew that the picture would have me kissing a very surprised Don in it. I pulled back quickly and made faces at Raphael and Mikey who were jokingly whistling at the two of us. "Get a room, you two!" "Oh, my virgin eyes!" Leo said nothing but laughed and proceeded to push the other two out of the hallway, still carrying Don's things in his arms.

Neither Don nor myself moved until he gave a nervous chuckle, which made a giggle fly out from my mouth. He turned to stare at me and before I knew it we were laughing. "We have totally got to get them back somehow," I chuckled once our laughter had subsided.

"Yeah," Don agreed, and then did a faceplam in exasperation. "I won't hear the end of this for weeks. Although I have to say," he said, his gaze growing distant, "it certainly is something to be the first one of us to be kissed."

Once more, I was struck by my own stupidity. "Ah… That was your first kiss then."

"Well, yeah, not like there's much of a chance of us getting kissed by a beautiful woman down here." He turned to grin at me, but it faded away to be replaced by confusion when he saw my face.

I must have looked upset about something, but I was thinking about my own first kiss. It had been a messy affair, with the boy prying my jaw open to stick his tongue inside, an awkward meeting of teeth and lips. I hadn't had a real kiss until several years later. I had always felt, looking back, that I deserved a better first kiss. Everyone should have a first kiss that stayed with them, not for the strangeness, but for the sweetness it brought to mind. Donatello deserved that. He shouldn't have had to deal with a half-assed kiss, an attempt to get people to leave us alone for the rest of the night.

"Don," I said, my voice sounding oddly quiet, "let's pretend that that kiss didn't happen. Let's pretend it was practice."

The bewilderment he was feeling was written all over his face at this point. "Huh? Why?"

"So that this can be your first." And before I could change my mind, I wrapped my arms around his shoulders and pulled my face closer to his, keeping eye contact with him the entire time, until my lips met his own, pressed against his in a chaste but honest-to-goodness-real-kiss kind of way. He didn't respond at first- I hadn't expected him to- but suddenly one arm wrapped around my waist firmly but gently and the other lay along my spine while his hand rested at the base of my head. The kiss was returned, and it abruptly changed from chaste and sweet to deep and passionate. It was as though every strained emotion, every thought, every feeling that we had pulled back and shoved away came into that one kiss, and I can honestly say that if the sun had collided with the earth right at that instant, I would never have noticed.

We both pulled back from each other gradually, our faces flushed and our eyes wide. I licked my lips and he stood back, opening his mouth as though to say something, but nothing came out. I felt such turmoil within myself; I felt like if I let him go without saying something, if I just walked away, I would be denying what had just happened, and if I did that, whatever had sparked between us would just disappear forever. For some reason that thought brought a huge, deep ache to my chest, and I knew I had to say something, anything to him.

I had no idea what I was going to say, but I began with "Don-" before I was cut off by Casey shouting down the hallway for us to get our rears in gear. My head snapped in the direction of the voice, and before I could continue what I had been planning to say, Donny was walking past me, his eyes not meeting mine. I stood stock still as he walked on, and I felt something that was suspiciously like a sob starting to rise in my throat. Had I done something wrong? Hadn't he liked the kiss? Had I misinterpreted what I had thought had been equal enjoyment for something else? I felt hurt and confused, and unsure of what to do next. I took a shaky breath and felt tears start to fill my eyes, and I didn't even care at that moment that I wasn't wearing water-proof mascara.

And then suddenly my pride kicked in. This wasn't the first time I had been rejected and hurt. I was better than this. I was stronger. I would move past it and learn my lesson- the hard way, just like I learned all the others. If he wanted to pretend nothing had happened, then fine, nothing had happened. Squaring back my shoulders, I managed to wipe away the unshed tears and leave my mascara as untouched as I could before I went back to join the crowd.

When they asked me what had taken so long, I told them that I had forgotten a bracelet back in the lab and had to go grab it. The others bought the excuse and teased me a little on my forgetfulness. Donatello said nothing, and I said nothing to him other than the occasional request to pass something. I don't think any of the others noticed that something had shifted between the two of us. We had decided to all open our gifts at the same time, something that I was grateful for especially as I opened Don's present to myself to find a pair of beautiful quartz earrings in the shape of orchids.

Once more I felt the tears start to come to my eyes, and the only thing that stopped them was the soft voice of Donny coming from behind me. "I remembered that you said your favorite flowers were orchids," he said, and I spun around to see him watching me with a somewhat sad and resigned expression. "I thought you might like them. They aren't pearls, but…"

I sniffed and wiped my eyes with my hands, immediately pulling the black pearl earrings that Ken had given me out of my ears and put the ones that Don had given me in them instead. "I love them, Donatello," I said, looking up at him. "They're beautiful. I don't care that they're not pearls."

He watched me, and then reached out to brush the tip of one of his fingers against the lobe of my ear where the orchid sat. "They look beautiful, Irms," he said to me. "I thought they'd look pretty, but you make them look beautiful."

The sound of a champagne bottle opening broke us out of our trance-like state and suddenly the two of us were toasting along with everyone else, laughing and saying our thank-you's for each other's gifts. I had gotten for Master Splinter a wooden box filled with packets of different types of Japanese tea, and for Leo I had an authentic hand-painted wall scroll to add to his collection. For Raph, I gave him the extended uncut editions of Underworld I and II, and for Mikey, I bought a yearlong subscription to his favorite comic. When Donatello opened up his gift, he gave a sharp inhale of breath and then turned to stare at me. "Irma, how did you know?"

I grinned at him. I had bought him the complete works of all the ancient Greek and Roman philosophers, along with several books of mathematical theory from Albert Enstein and Issac Newton. I knew he probably already knew everything in them, but these were beautifully printed and I thought that he would like flipping through them nonetheless. The admiration in his face as he thumbed through the pages gave me a warm glow inside, and it covered up the awful sadness I felt at the rejection just enough to tide me through the rest of the evening.

The boys wanted to escort me home at the end of the night (it was two in the morning by the time we all left) but I declined, saying that I could walk back with April and Casey. The three of us started the trek through the sewers back to our apartments, and by the time they wished me goodbye as I got into a cab and arrived back home, it was three AM. I quickly changed into pajamas and crawled into bed, putting the earrings I had been given on the bedside table. I lay there staring at them for a few moments until I turned the lights out and was left alone with my thoughts. And finally, now that I was alone and no one would be there to judge me or call me weak and pathetic, I finally let those tears fall. I hugged my pillow to me, feeling terribly alone despite having been near my closest friends only hours before, and cried myself to sleep.

* * *

><p>The week after Christmas brought me a peace that I needed, and I spent the time off mostly relaxing at home. As usual, my family wasn't celebrating Christmas, so there was no reason to call my parents. I did phone my sister and brother and wish them a happy holiday however, so it wasn't as though I was completely isolating myself.<p>

As for Ken and I, we had sort of roughly made up, although the residual anger still hadn't faded. He was ridiculously petty about the whole thing, bringing up how it wasn't like I was completely perfect and that I was nit-picky. We had eventually agreed to disagree, and had made plans to go out with each other on New Years. He picked me up as usual, and also as usual we had a great time until about 11:30, when he suddenly pulled the disappearing act on me again.

At that point I got so angry that I left the club we had gone to, went to a liquor store, bought myself some Cuban Rum and went home to mix up my own drinks and celebrate by myself. I got home at ten to midnight and proceeded to mix up three Cuba Libres and downed them all within five minutes. I then staggered out onto my balcony, carrying the rum in one hand, the liter of coke in my arm, and my tumbler full of ice cubes in the other. I plopped down onto my balcony chair and haphazardly put the drinks on the table. Making myself another drink, I lifted up the glass towards the moon and toasted myself. "Here's to you, Irma. Another year of horribly stupid mistakes and broken hearts." I tossed this one back as well, shuddering as the alcohol burned my throat on the way down. It was freezing outside, but thankfully not snowing or windy, so I could stand the cold for a few minutes until midnight.

I closed my eyes and leaned my head back, a long sigh escaping my lips. Then a voice said "That was an awful toast, Irma." My eyes flew open to reveal Donatello sitting in the shadows at the edge of my balcony, watching me with a shaded look. I wasn't even surprised, really, and let my head flop back and my eyes close again. I could just as easily have been hallucinating. "Like you could think of a better one."

His expression didn't change. "I think we could come up with a better one together."

Once more my eyes shot open and I looked up at him. "The hell are you talking about?"

Don gave a frustrated sigh and stared at the ground before turning back to me. "I wanted to… I wanted to apologize for what I did on Christmas."

"Are you referring to when you walked out on me after I gave you a kiss that ended up being a hundred times better than I could have ever imagined? Apology accepted, you can go now."

"You don't mean that."

"Says who?"

"Says the fact that you're wearing the earrings that I gave you, and that your dress and shoes are purple, and that you're here alone and not dancing in a club with a guy that's interested in you."

I said nothing to this, and he hesitated for a moment before continuing. "And… and I wouldn't go anyway, even if you did mean it."

"Why?" I challenged him. "Because I kissed you? Because I'm depressed thanks to my fucked up love life, to which you've contributed? Because you're worried I'll finally hurl myself off the balcony in a fit of self-despair like I've considered doing before?"

In a heartbeat he was standing over me, his silhouette outlined by the moonlight shining down on the two of us. Had his movements not been so aggressive and obviously angry, I would have thought it romantic. As it was, I was worried. Not because he'd hurt me, I knew he'd never do that, but because he was mad at me, and for the first time I realized how easily he could harm me if he really wanted to, how easily he could grab me and stop me from doing anything. I was forcibly reminded that he was, besides everything else, a very capable fighter. "Never," he growled at me, slowly and dangerously, "say anything like that again. I never want to hear you even saying remotely like that, ever."

Had I been in control of my senses, I would have shut up right there and not said anything more on the matter. But the drinks were talking now and I couldn't seem to stop the fury I felt at what I perceived to be injustice in the situation rise up. "That's right," I hissed at him. "That's right, I can only feel what _you_ want me to feel. I can't make anything inconvenient for _you_, or worry _you_, but when you walk out on me after suddenly making me feel wonderful, that's just fine. I see how it is. Well, you can just take your goddamned self-righteous fucking ninja honor and-"

I suddenly found myself being dragged to my feet and before I could so much as cry out in fear, Donatello had slammed his lips against mine, his arms wrapped around me, clutching my loose hair in his hand. It was my turn to be shocked, but within seconds I had my arms wrapped around him, hungrily returning the kiss, feeling a familiar sort of fire start licking through my bones enhanced by the alcohol and utter _joy_ I was feeling at knowing finally that I wasn't alone in how I felt. It was nothing like the first time when I had kissed him, which was deep and enjoyable but also tame. This was fierce, with both of us wordlessly demanding of each other and taking and giving until neither of us could breathe and then Donatello suddenly pushed me away, both of us breathing heavily. "Too much," he gasped out. "It's too much. I can't take it."

"The hell are you talking about now?" I demanded, and reached for him again. I was stopped by an outstretched arm. I froze and stared at it before dragging my eyes up to meet his, trying hard to keep the feeling of a crumbing world from taking over my senses. "Donny?" I asked, and I hated how my voice trembled as I whispered his name, wondering what was wrong and _What did I do?_

"I'm a turtle, Irma!" he said suddenly, meeting my eyes with a look of desperate misery in them. "I can't give you what you deserve. I can't give you what you need. You should find someone normal, someone who can walk with you in parks and take you to movies and sit in restaurants and chat with you about books and… and…" His voice faded momentarily and then he spoke again, conveying a sort of resigned unhappiness. "You should find someone who can make you happy. You should be happy." He didn't break his gaze from mine, but took a ragged breath before saying "You _deserve_ someone who can make you happy."

"_You_ make me happy," I said fiercely, wanting to argue against his inane reasoning but unable to do so due to lack of ability to think at that particular moment. "I don't care about the other things, I want _you_. Why shouldn't you deserve to be happy too?"

He shook his head and turned away. "I keep trying to convince myself that you're just a craving for something new, a typical hormonal response to being presented with a female that is not attached to feelings of sibling affection. An understandable reaction that is felt universally by every mammal on the planet. But it's not enough. It's never enough. If I gave in and we were together, I…" he stopped and turned back to me. "It just isn't good enough for you. I can't allow myself to think of this as anything more than a… a one time-"

I shut him up by throwing myself around him again, and his next words were lost in another kiss, as wild and passionate as the first one. He resisted at first, but soon he was returning it back and we were lost and wrapped up together again. I pulled my lips away from his for a moment to lightly bite along his neck, making him groan. "Hate to tell you this, honey," I whispered heatedly against his skin, so strange feeling but so familiar, "but I don't think this craving is going away for either of us." He said nothing but pulled my lips back to his.

It was probably the biggest cliché in the world when the fireworks started going off, but neither of us paid much attention to them besides noting the shades of colors that exploded across our skin as they flew into the air, igniting in a cascade of fiery sparkles. The booms and crackles drowned out the small sounds of pleasure we were eliciting from each other when we occasionally broke off our kisses to nip and kiss at each other's throats and (in my case) ears. Don followed my lead in our movements with each other, quickly learning from what I did to make him feel good. He soon had me in as much of a state as I had him, and I reveled in the feelings that I hadn't had for longer than I cared to think about.

We sat like this for a bit while the cheers of people filled the air along with the sounds from the fireworks. Finally, he gently pushed me away, stepping back. I made a sound of protest and reached out for him again but he kept his distance. "No," he whispered at length. "I can't do this to you. I can't… It's not right. I have nothing to offer you."

Before I could retort, he leaned forward abruptly to press one last kiss against my lips before he retreated back into the shadows. I couldn't see him, but I could hear him start to jump from one ledge to another as he ran away, leaving me behind. I rushed to the side of the balcony that he had jumped from and called out for him desperately, even though I knew he wasn't going to come back. Finally, I gave up and just stood there, feeling once more the empty heart ache I had before.

At first, the pain I was felt was all-encompassing. I couldn't think clearly, couldn't even breathe, and then suddenly the sobs came. They were hard, deep, gut-wrenching, awful sobs. The kind of sobs that can only come from feeling your heart breaking into a hundred pieces, from having a great hope smashed to bits, from having a long-held dream crushed into the dust. This is what I felt for a while, sinking down onto the ice cold ground, ignoring the numbness and the cold slowly pushing into my body, making my lips chatter and my body shake. I'm not sure how long I was there, wallowing in my misery, but it certainly didn't last for more than ten minutes or so. I lifted my head up at this point, staring up at the sky, and I could feel my inner voice start to cry out to me.

_Is this the first time this has happened to you?_ it said to me. _Didn't this same man leave you just days before, just like this? Didn't other men leave you in this state, miserable and soul-sick? What did you do then, hmm? Did anything get solved through sitting around and moping?_

_NO!_ it shouted at me. _NO! You will not let this defeat you! Rise and rise again, drag yourself through the dirt with your fingernails if you must, but each time they shove you down, rise up stronger than before!_

_Oh?_ I asked my inner voice tiredly. _And then what? What happens next?_

I received no answer but this: _You live._

And all of a sudden a resolve, stronger than anything I had felt before suddenly filled me, and knew that although I couldn't bring Donatello back, I could at least do something for myself. I was stronger than this. True, I felt wretched on the inside, but I had my pride. I would shove it away in favor of more productive things, and push it in the same box as the "What If's" and "If Only's", to be dumped in the dark recesses in the back of my mind. If he didn't want me, I wouldn't spend my time pining over him. I had better things to do, more important things to take care of, like what I was about to do.

I went inside, ignoring the frozen state of my limbs and the drinks on the outside table, and picked up my cell phone to dial a number. I waited for the person on the other end to pick up before speaking in a very calm and even tone. "Ken," I said, "I think we should break up."

* * *

><p>Well… I think it's pretty obvious that this is probably the most emotionally charged chapters out of all of them. Needless to say, I was hoping it would come out that way. There's more to come, of course, but I felt that it ended perfectly right here. I seriously doubt that a relationship with a turtle would be easy, and I also doubt that Irma is oblivious to this fact, but she is, by this point, mature enough to recognize that no matter what relationship she goes into, it'll be hard. She's also had enough experience to know that despite their… unique circumstances, Don has done a lot more for her than other guys she's dated, and that counts for something important.<p>

And Mikey… So devious! I never would of thought of him as a matchmaker. I applauded you, Devious Matchmaking Mikey.

There hasn't been much Ken lately. Don't worry, that'll change soon. (Evil author plot pointer)

I would really appreciate some serious criticism and discussion on this particular chapter, because this is the point where the characters can get really OOC, and I'd very much like to avoid that. I want them to be emotional without being ridiculous. Reviews really are helpful with this sort of thing. And if you just want to review without adding criticism, I certainly won't stop you, as long as it's not a flame.


	17. Chapter Seventeen

Forward we march, into the plot which grows ever thicker. And it does seem to just be flying out everywhere now. I had expected this to go at a much more… sedate pace, I guess. But doesn't look like the story or the characters want to cooperate, the lovable little rebels. Don't worry, characters… I don't mind the insubordination! (hides a bazooka under my desk) I've got caaandy for yoooouuu…!

As always, special thanks to my beta readers. Y'all are wonderful. Another special thanks to all the reviewers who have stuck with me so far. Thanks so much!

I don't own the Turtles or anything related to them, which includes Irma. I DO however take credit for her updated personality. Totally all me.

Warning: Bad language from Irma in this chapter. Ye Be Warned.

* * *

><p><strong>Chapter Seventeen<strong>

I woke up the next morning feeling like someone had dropped a ton of weights on my skull. I could hear my phone ringing in the kitchen and the normally quiet sound erupted in my mind like a percussion band. With a groan, I pulled my blankets back over my head, willing myself to go back to sleep. It was probably Ken anyway. After my rather abrupt and impersonal break-up with him the night before, he had wanted to get into a shouting match over the phone. I hung up on him quickly, not hearing anything past "crazy, bi-polar witch." I thought that was particularly clever and resolved to use it myself once I managed to get the dwarves in my brain to stop their mining and hammering.

The only thing I could be sure of was that the sun was shining through my curtains, and I decided that as soon as I was physically able I was going to shoot it out of the sky. Eventually. This was followed by Sensible Irma scolding the hell out of Immature Irma for drinking so much the night before and making a perfect fool out of myself with Don-

My eyes shot open despite my earlier resolve to keep them closed and it all came flooding back into my mind. Suddenly I remembered why I drank so much. There was only one thing to do at this point; crawl under a rock and never, ever, ever come back out. That plan only went so far though. Firstly, I had work the next day, and secondly, there was a significant shortage of large rocks in my apartment.

Also someone started knocking on some part of my apartment (I was in no position to judge what sounds were coming from where, other than my phone because I knew where I had left it) to come in, so flying out to Arizona for a boulder or two didn't seem to quite possible at that particular moment. I didn't answer, hoping that whoever it was would go away, but instead I heard a window open and Leo's voice calling out my name. "Irma? I know you're in here. I need to talk to you." He had crawled in through the window that overlooked the alley, which was partially hidden by trees and signs, so probably he was safe from being seen. Also, he was a ninja, so there was even less to worry about.

I said absolutely nothing and did my best to pretend I was dead. It didn't work. "Irma, I can see you under the blankets," said Leo from my doorway.

"No you can't," I said, still buried under everything. "You only think you can. You're hallucinating. Perfectly understandable considering how many hits you take to the head."

"Speaking of hits taken to the head…" He sat on the edge of my bed and tried to pull my pillow off my face. I held on to it with a vice-like grip and he sighed in exasperation. "C'mon, Irma, talk to me."

"No," I stubbornly refused. "I'm wallowing in misery here. Nothing can make this better except ice cream and chocolate."

"Well, I don't have either of those things, but I'm not leaving until you talk to me about what happened."

"I don't want to talk about it," I said despondently. "There's nothing to say."

"Irma, Don has a hickey on his neck the size of-"

"If you're here to lecture me on my relationship with him, don't worry about it. There isn't one. He made that perf… perfec…" And then once more I burst into tears and curled up into a fetal position under my blankets while trying to stammer out what I was trying to say. "He m-m-made tha-a-at pe-perfectly cl-cl-clear."

The blankets were ripped off of me now that I was focused on other things, but I was too busy crying into my hands to care that Leonardo could now see how horrible I looked. My hair was in complete disarray, my eyes were red and puffy from weeping, I looked hung-over from the night before and (to my own mortification) I probably had a decent-sized hickey myself.

Leo sighed and I turned my head to look at him. He was massaging his temple with his fingers and seemed very tempted to go beat his head against the wall. "A person should never, ever, ever have to see the effects of a make-out session that his brother's been in," he said.

A sound of distress escaped me, and I buried my head under a pillow once more before Leo pulled it off. "Irma," he said, firmly. "We should discuss what's happened between you and my brother."

"Why? I don't see how that's any of your business whatsoever."

"It's my business because he's my brother and we fight together in life and death battles on a regular basis. I want to know that he'll be alright." He waited to see if I would respond, and when I didn't, he continued. "And you're my friend. I want to know that _you'll_ be alright."

Pulling the pillow off my head, I stared at his face with my eyes narrowed to see if he was being serious. I realized a moment later that this was a silly thing to do because he was almost always serious. With a sigh, I decided to acquiesce to his demand and sat up, wincing as I did so. "Ooooh… ow."

He said nothing, but waited for me to speak. I took a minute to collect my thoughts before I tried explaining. "Alright, you want to know what happened last night? What happened was nothing. I came home, got drunk, your brother showed up to tell me that he was no good for me because for some idiotic reason he thought that argument would work on me. Then I proceeded to tell him to shut up and we had a make out session before he told me no and left. That's it. That's all there was to it. He's turned me down and nothing is going to happen between us, The End."

"Then," I said, deciding to round it off with the big finale, "I had an emotional breakdown, came inside and broke up with Ken via phone call and proceeded to drown my cares in Cuban Rum mixed with coke, the results of which you see before you."

"You broke up with Ken?" he exclaimed. "Why?"

"Well, obviously because I don't care about him!" I snapped.

Leonardo hmm'd to himself and seemed lost in thought before turning back to me. "Irma, I'm sure you've realized by now that Donatello is a little…" he hesitated to search for a word.

"Bi-polar? Indecisive? An idiot? A four year old in a turtle's body?"

"Knock it off," he snapped at me. "As if you can talk about maturity. You're the one acting like a four year old!"

I scowled at him but didn't say anything else."Donatello is something of a control freak," he continued. "And he can't control you, or how he may or may not feel about you. And it's driving him crazy."

"I know the feeling," I muttered.

"I'm sure. Anyway, my point is to keep the fact that this is all new and he doesn't know how to react to it in mind."

With a sigh, I patted his leg lightly. "Look, Leo, I appreciate that you're trying to help, but I really don't see how this applies to o-" I stopped myself from saying our and switched mid-word, "the situation… if there even _is_ one anymore. Don made it pretty clear that there wasn't going to be anything other than friendship. Ever."

My companion stared at me, and I found myself drawn up to his eyes. He stared into mine with an intensity that could only be described as unnerving. I had no idea how they managed to do it- all four brothers, not to mention Master Splinter, had a way of making you feel like they could read your every thought. Leo was the best at it though, except for Splinter, and I had to resist the urge to squirm in discomfort. "Do you want there to be anything other than friendship?" he asked finally.

What could I say to that? How was I supposed to respond? I had already reconciled myself to the fact that I felt some sort of attraction to Donatello, as unlikely and unthinkable it may have been. But I hadn't thought about what would have happened if he had actually given in to my drunken attempts and had stayed. Probably nothing more than what _had_ happened in terms of… physical displays of affection, but the relationship would have changed drastically.

Leonardo watched me carefully, and I wondered if my thoughts and emotions were written across my face. "I don't know if anything would be even possible," I began slowly. "But… I think that if we_ feel_ more than friendship, we should at least _try_ to work it out, even if we're just friends at the end anyway."

He nodded slowly, his face thoughtful. We were both quiet for a moment and then I glanced over to my mirror and screamed. Leonardo jumped, completely startled, and instantly went into a defensive crouch on my bed. I had rushed to my mirror and was staring at myself in abject horror. "Oh my GOD, I look like the CRYPT KEEPER!"

I heard the sound of Leo slapping his forehead behind me, but I was too busy examining my reflection to care. "Irma…" he began.

"My hair looks like it's been gnawed on by a pack of wild dogs!" I wailed.

"IRMA!"

I whirled around to face an irate Leonardo. "Irma Langinstein," he said firmly, "you need to figure out what's going on between you and Donatello."

"But he doesn't want-" I began to protest.

"He doesn't know what he wants!" Leo interrupted me. "He's confused and uncertain and can't control his emotions, and it's driving him nuts. Eventually he'll realize that the only thing that'll get it all worked out is actually coming to you and having a real conversation about it. You just have to wait it out."

"Easier said than done." Patience was something that could not be counted within my virtues.

"You're telling me." Leo came and stood next to me, giving me a reassuring but brief one-armed hug. "It'll work out. No matter what happens, you'll still be our friend. And we'll be around to make sure you don't set yourself on fire."

I would have given him a nasty look, but his teasing personality so rarely came out that I didn't want to destroy it. "Thanks, I guess," I said, and he gave a snort of amusement before heading out of my room towards the alleyway window. "Well, I'm off. And…" he gave me a once-over, "you might want to consider putting some extra makeup on today. Y'know… just for the eyes-"

"GOODBYE, Leo," I told him, and closed the window after he left.

* * *

><p>The next few weeks were a lot smoother in the Drama Department. I hadn't spoken to Donatello for some time, although his brothers would come to visit and assure me he was doing well. I still felt somewhat emotionally unstable, but then again, I kind of always felt that way since, as my uncle once put it, I was a few sandwiches short of a picnic.<p>

I had been working extra hours and days to make up for all the time I had missed since meeting the turtles (which, incidentally, added up to a lot), and now the rest of the library crew were used to seeing me come in at weird hours of both day and night, whatever day of the week I wanted. The higher-ups might have been annoyed, but they I kept up all my work and made sure things were still running smoothly, so they weren't too miffed about shirking my responsibilities, just that I hadn't had a schedule I'd stuck to for months.

My friends there greeted me and we did the usual checklist of things to do that day, problems people had been having with the computer search systems, books that we should add to our acquisitions list, the normal things. The office I used had a stack of papers higher than my head (not really, but it felt like it was) and I settled myself in to fill out the papers and get things set straight again.

The long to-do list might have irritated me had I not had so much going on in my other life. As it was, it was a pleasant distraction. At least, until lunchtime when I got up to go grab a sandwich from a nearby Subway shop because I forgot to pack some soup or something. Grabbing my purse, I called out to Kelly that I was heading out for half an hour. She gestured to show she had heard and I bundled up to leave. The steps outside the library were somewhat icy, so I clung to the railing to keep myself from slipping and falling to my untimely death, which, knowing me, would probably be the way I'd go. I was so busy concentrating on not dying that I failed to notice the person rapidly approaching me, the stride angry and purposeful. It wasn't until I was at the bottom that I turned my attention to other things and found myself bumping into-

"Ken!" I gasped, and instinctively clutched at my jacked, pulling it around myself tighter. It made me no more secure, I knew, but having grabbed something made me feel a little better. "What're you doing here?" I asked him. I knew it was probably a silly question; as a professor, he could go anywhere on campus that he liked. But he had walked straight up to me, or so it seemed, which made me a little uneasy.

"We should probably talk," he said, and his voice and face were both serious and not a little upset. I nodded. He was right. It was the least that I owed him. "I, ah, I was about to go get some lunch if you'd like to come, and we can talk then."

"Alright."

We walked in silence for a few minutes until we got to the Subways and ordered our sandwiches. I went to sit at a booth and he shook his head. "Let's go to a bench on campus somewhere." He glanced around and lowered his voice slightly. "Less people."

It went unsaid that there was a chance that one of us was going to end up shouting, so I nodded, knowing he was thinking of that. We didn't get halfway across the street back to campus before he said something, though

"I just don't _get it_!" he said irately, lifting his hands up in a gesture of confusion and annoyance. "I mean, we're together for, what, two or three months and then suddenly you're done? What the hell, Irma? What the hell!"

We had continued walking as he spoke and by now were officially on campus. "What the hell? Did you really just ask that?" I took a big bite of my sandwich irritated, glaring at him. "Who was the one who kept running out on our dates? Who was the one who was charming when I was mad and then just kept doing the same things that made me upset over and over again?"

"Is that the only reason?" he demanded, taking his sandwich out and taking a bite of his own. "Or are you just using that as an excuse?"

My mouth was too full of yummy sandwich to answer, so instead I gave him my best intimidating glare until I had chewed enough to swallow. "Frankly, I don't need to make excuses to break up with you. You're the one who never answered calls, left the dates, and basically was never around."

"You're the one that kept the secrets!" he shot back at me.

This made me step away from him, eying him warily. "I don't know what you're talking about," I said defensively, and he snorted in derision.

"Don't treat me like I'm stupid, honey. It's pretty obvious that you have something that you don't want other people to know about." He leaned forward towards me and gave me the grin I had seen when we first met, the grin that looked like he was about to slaughter a whole family and laugh in a very, very disturbing way while doing so. "The thing with secrets, though, is that when people find out you have them, they want to figure out what it is."

"You…" my voice hitched and I had to try again. "You're crazy."

He kept that grin on his face. "You wouldn't be the first to think so."

"Stay away from me," I snapped at him. "You're an unreliable jerk and I have no interest in you. Just because you're cute doesn't mean that I'm going to let you treat me like a… something that you treat badly."

"Very moving, Irma."

"Yeah, well, shut up!"

Ken was suddenly right in front of me, his face just centimeters from mine, his expression threatening and not at all friendly. I felt a sudden urge to reach into my purse for the mace that was there, and my hand twitched to reach for the gun holster I could never wear but often wished I could.

"Irma," he whispered the look of happy murder still on his face, "you should probably think before getting on my bad side."

I swallowed, trying my damndest not to let my fear on my face. I was probably unsuccessful. "You're threatening me because I'm breaking up with you?" I asked, my disbelief clear. _Damnit, Irma, why do you always pick the creeps? Why? You just have really sucky luck when it comes to men._

"I'm not threatening you," he said, interrupting my line of thought, "I'm having a serious discussion with you because you're trying to write me off like I'm one of your average guys who'll let you get away with that kind of thing. I'm not going to let you just treat me like I'm disposable."

"You're just trying to keep me in an awful relationship," I replied. "I've been in those before. You can't keep me in this one." I suddenly drew myself up, throwing him off a little and pulled what I hoped was an imperial sort of look off. "You can't scare me, Ken Shinobu. I'm not going to let you intimidate me. We're over, and you're never going to talk to me again." I turned around and began to walk as calmly as I could back to the library, taking a nervous bite out of my sandwich as I did so. _Don't_ _look back, don't look back, don't look back, don't look back_, I kept chanting to myself. I wanted to, because I wanted to know if he was coming after me with a hacksaw, but at the same time I didn't want to give off the air that I was two seconds away from running as fast as I could while screaming my head off.

I didn't hear any footsteps following me, so I figured I was safe. Once I got back into my office, I sat down in my chair and took a deep breath. Then I shoved my sandwich, chips and cookies into my mouth as fast as I could and resolved to get a gallon of ice cream after work and curl up in my apartment with the turtle brothers patrolling around outside my windows.

* * *

><p>That night, I was sitting in my apartment with Michelangelo and Leonardo, telling them about the confrontation with Ken. Raphael and Donatello were doing recon in other parts of the city; they hadn't been told the whole story out of concern that they would push for going after Ken directly, Raph because he was Raph, and Don because, well, he liked me. Probably. Mikey was sitting with me on the couch, lending a supporting arm while Leo paced the room, considering the situation. The windows were, of course, closed, and the new, thick curtains I had bought made sure that the shapes of the brothers wouldn't be seen.<p>

Leonardo was sympathetic, but ultimately non-committal in regards to the situation. "I understand this is difficult," he was saying, "but the four of us can't get involved in something like this. The guy sounds like a jerk, but that doesn't necessarily mean that he's going to come after you. It's just not something that we have the resources to worry about."

"Dude," Mikey snapped, "you sound like we don't care at all. At least talk like you wanna help."

"It's not like that!" the blue clad ninja argued. "Irma, you know we care about you, and if we could, we'd help. If he was actively threatening you with bodily harm, we'd gladly protect you, but simple threats are not things that usually worry us. Unless," he amended, "they've got a habit of leaving hints before they blow up a building or something."

I sighed and slouched back in my seat. I hadn't really anticipated this, although to be honest I couldn't really blame them. If I were in their position, I'd probably be somewhat wary as well. "Thanks anyway," I said glumly. "Guess I'll pull out the ol' baseball bat again and give it a few trial swings."

Mikey tried to mollify me. "Look, Irms, we can still come check out around your apartment from time to time. That oughta be okay," he glanced over at Leo. "Right?"

The elder brother repressed a sigh and nodded. "Sure, we can do that."

It made me feel a bit better, even though I knew it was unlikely to make an impact on the situation. Still, they were doing their best. I thanked them as the two left the apartment and promised I'd come down to visit as soon as I could. The phone rang right as Mikey was leaving via the window, and I made sure it was securely locked before going to answer.

"Hello," I said brightly into the receiver.

"_Hey, Irma."_

I froze, recognizing the voice. "Ken, what're you doing?"

"_Just calling you, seeing if you've reconsidered your position on how you should treat me."_

"If you're asking me if I've changed my mind about you being a creep and needing to stay the hell away from you, no."

"_Shame. Oh, well. Have fun at work tomorrow."_

"What the hell is that supposed to mean?"

The only answer I received was from the dial-tone. I hung up, seriously considering throwing myself down the stairs in an attempt to break a limb. Then I could use the doctor's note to keep my job but not have to go in. The problem with that plan was that I liked using my arms and legs. Plus, pain was not very enjoyable.

I briefly debated whether or not to call the boys and tell them about my message… but if I did that, I'd be branded a coward for the rest of my life. _Since when have you cared about THAT?_ demanded Sensible Irma. _Get off your ass and call them, damnit!_

_Noooo,_ said Immature Irma. _Appearances! Appearances! Must look badass!_

_Obviously the side that always gets me into trouble is correct,_ my logical mind concluded. _When has being rash ever backfired for me?_

With that comforting thought, I walked into my bedroom and collapsed into sleep.

* * *

><p>I went to work the next day expecting something big and pointy to come at me any moment. I had a brisk walking pace throughout the morning in case Ken had found a way to sic Pyramid Head on me. By the time afternoon rolled around though, I was fairly at ease, as the duties of the day kept me from really worrying about anything. As it was, by the time lunch rolled around, Ken was the furthest thing from my mind. This should have been the biggest warning sign to me. Everything happened when I felt good about stuff.<p>

I had gone to get some Thai Take-Out, talking with the person at the counter, looking over the menu slowly, just basically taking my sweet time.

It was when I got back to the campus that everything went to hell. Not right away, of course. That would have been too easy. Whoever (or whatever) started off the fire was kind enough to wait until I had finished my meal and was just starting to feel the effects of the dreaded Afternoon Nap Syndrome.

At the time it started, I was staring at the cardboard carton that my fried rice had been in, arguing with it about the likelihood of being discovered should I attempt to nap at my desk. The carton was arguing against it. _Unnecessary risk_, it said.

_But so relaxing!_ I argued back. I stopped suddenly, and thought about the frequency with which I engaged in debates with inanimate objects concerning random things. "Should probably stop that…"

I sighed, leaning against a hand that I propped up on the desk. Then I sniffed. Then I sat up, sniffing again. "I smell smoke," I said to the empty food container, and then I stood up, rushing to the door. "Ben! Francine!" I called out for the other two librarians and they walked over to me hurriedly.

"I smell smoke," said Ben, a worried frown on his face.

"John and I smelled it too," said Francine, "but the alarms haven't gone off, so he just went to see what was causing it."

"Alarms or not, there should be no smoke in this building. If there's a fire and the alarms haven't gone off automatically, then we'll have to do it manually." A mental image of the map of the library appeared in my head. Six floors, escape routes for the basement, first and second floor, secondary entrance from another building for the third and fourth floors… the last two floors would have to go to the roof, where an emergency evacuation route had been built going from one roof to another. It was a sort of drawbridge that had to be extended between the two buildings, but it could be done quickly and without much trouble. With this map in mind, I began throwing out orders.

"Ben, you take the first and second floors. Francine, where was John?"

"Fifth floor."

"You take the third and forth. I'll take the fifth and sixth. The janitor can check out the basement."

"I'll call him right away," volunteered Ben helpfully.

I nodded. "Good. Alright, we'll each do a search of the floors. Enlist students to help find the source if you like, but make sure that they do not try to touch or stop or put out whatever is causing the smell. When it's found, call us on the walkie talkie (I was handing them out as I was speaking). If it's nothing, we can have it removed, but if it is a fire, I want every student out of the library pronto, understood? I want them kept calm and no heroics, and that goes for y'all as well, understand me?" I pointed at the two of them firmly, the authoritative tone in my voice giving me the ability to hand out orders without people taking note of the absurdity of the situation.

Francine and Ben both nodded, and we went our separate ways, Ben calling the janitor as he went. The library was thankfully quiet that day. There appeared to be few students, which was a mercy for us as we began looking through the building. I went up the stairs to the fifth floor, which seemed to be abandoned, and perused through all the shelves as quickly as I could without missing any details. Ben's voice came over the walkie talkie. _"The janitor said he's seen no sign of any fire or tampering in the basement. The smell hadn't reached him, he said. So far the first floor is clear."_

"_I've got some students helping me look through my floors. Nothing so far,"_ Francine's voice said through the box in my hand.

Holding it up to my face, I responded. _"_Nothing on this end either, and no sign of John. Any ideas?"

"_Could it be coming through the ventilation system?"_ asked Ben. _"Whatever's making that smell wouldn't have to be too big for the scent to travel through the air shafts, if it was positioned in the right place. Maybe John went to see what it was."_

"Good idea, great idea. Y'all check all the maintenance rooms on your floors, I'll check mine."

They both agreed, and I headed towards the door labeled MAINTENCE. AUTHORIZED PERSONEL ONLY. Pulling out the set of keys from my pocket in case I needed to unlock the door, I put my hand on the knob and then jumped back, swearing. It was hot, and it burned my hand. My eyes widened. "Oh, no…" Biting my lip, I reached out and grasped the knob, flinging the door open as quickly as I could without causing too much damage to my hand. The first thing I saw was John, lying on the ground unconscious. I rushed over to him and inspected. He was breathing, but his forehead was bloody and I could see where someone had smashed something against his head. I sympathized with him, having experienced similar pain some time before. I sat him up and lightly slapped his cheeks to wake him up. I didn't have the physical strength to pull him out of the room, so I had to get him to move on his own. "John. John!" I looked up and paled when I saw that the source of the heat that had caused the doorknob to burn my hand was… not something I recognized.

It was a square box that appeared to be made of metal, and it sat on a small table by the door. It was radiating heat, and as far as I could tell, it was the source of the smoke-smell too. I had no idea whether it was a bomb or just a very dangerous-looking prank object, but I wasn't going to take chances with it. Pulling out the walkie talkie, I spoke to the others in my best Fearless Leader voice. "Guys, I found John and the source of the smell, and I'm willing to bet whoever put this thing in here isn't friendly. I don't know if I've found an explosive or not, but I want every student out of here, ASAP and I want the fire department called immediately."

"_Right away!"_ said Francine. Ben said something equally affirmative, but I wasn't paying attention at that point.

John was moaning something and I looked down to see that his eyes were opening. "Thank God," I breathed. "John! John, its Irma. Can you move?"

"Uhhhm…" His eyes opened slowly and he winced in pain, looking up at me. "Irma?"

"Yeah, it's me." I looked up at the bomb-thing again and bit my lip. "John, we have to go now. Can you move?"

He struggled a moment and then got to his feat with a sound of pain. I wrapped one of his arms around my shoulders for support and we walked out of the room as quickly as we could. The walkie talkie blared in my hand, and Ben's voice came over in a state of static panic. "_Irma, we're evacuating all the kids we can find, but the fire alarm system isn't working!"_

"What the hell did you just say?"

"_I don't know what's wrong with it! I just pulled it on the second floor and nothing's happening!"_

Francine came on, her voice shaky with worry. _"I just tried the alarm on the third floor, and it's not working here either. Irma, I think someone sabotaged it!"_

I closed my eyes briefly and counted to three before answering. "Francine, I need you to come to the stairs between the fourth and third floor and take John. He needs help. Then I want you to call the fire department, and request an ambulance, and the police. This is not an accident; someone is trying to hurt us. Ben, I want you to clear out every student from the third floor down. I'm on the fourth floor and I'll work my way up. Everyone clear? Go!"

Without another word I began to pull John towards the stairs, praying desperately that everything would turn out alright and that no one would get hurt. Francine, being the dependable person that she was, showed up at the stairs just as I got there with John. She was out of breath and frightened but clear-headed. I passed him off to her and told her to order any students she found out through the nearest emergency exits while I searched the next two floors up. As I walked away, I registered Ben saying he'd cleared out the third floor and was working on the second. I quickly looked through the fourth floor again, searching out students, but it looked like it was all clear. With a satisfied nod, I made my way to the fifth floor- and then the bomb, because of course that's what it was, went off behind me. I was thrown forward a few feet, and the wind was knocked out of me so that I had to kneel on the stairs, doubled over in pain and try to get my breath back. The other two librarians were swearing and demanding to know what had happened from their ends, but I was in no position to say anything. Finally, I pulled it from where I had dropped it on the stairs and gasped out "Well, it was definitely a bomb."

"_Irma, get out of there! Use the roof exit! Now!" _I wasn't sure who was talking to me, but I couldn't agree more with their suggestion. With a groan of pain and my hand clutching my wounded side, I staggered up the stairs and began my search of the fifth floor. I called out to any students who might have been there, and then I noticed something troubling. The door to the maintenance room was wide open and I saw a now-familiar metal box sitting on the floor.

"Well, fuck," I said, my voice dispassionate and dull. "Time for desperate measures." And with that, I stood straight up, raised my voice as loudly as I could, and screamed out into the room.

"**IF THERE ARE ANY STUDENTS ON THIS FLOOR, GET THE FUCK OVER HERE RIGHT NOW OR I'LL KICK YOUR FUCKING STUPID ASSES INTO NEXT THURSDAY!"**

No one shouted back at first, and I felt something like relief crawl into me. The sprinkler systems had gone off as soon as the first explosion had gone off- maybe that tipped of the students to leave. But then-

"Miss Irma!" I spun around to see who was calling me, and a girl rushing out from behind a bookcase. I recognized her, Lauren Chalmain. She was a lithe young thing, with long blond hair and big blue eyes. If she had been in a storybook, I mused momentarily, she would have fit the part of a Damsel in Distress perfectly.

She rushed to my side, and, seeing me wince, wrapped her arms around me, both to help me and for some shallow feeling of security. I patted her arm reassuringly. "We're gonna be fine," I told her. "Let's just get up to the fire escape on the roof. Were there any others on this floor?"

She shook her head as we walked, worry etched over her face. "No, I was the only one. I didn't see anyone!"

We began to rush up the stairs to the next floor. "What about whoever set the bombs?" I demanded. "Did you see anyone set them up?"

Again, she shook her head, and she looked at me with what I suspected were tears in her eyes. "Why would someone do this? I don't understand!"

I had nothing to say to this. I was focused on getting us out of the library. Once we were on the roof, we could cross over, and it would be fine. The sprinkler system, by now, was drenching us both, which was a mercy in the face of the fire that I knew now would consume the library. I had to squeeze my eyes shut and stood still for just a moment at that thought. I could feel my heart breaking as I realized that all of those books, hundreds and hundreds of years worth of toil and research and pure love on the half of the authors, the readers, and caretakers- it was about to go up in flames, and we could do nothing about it. I was pulled out of my mournful revere by Lauren's worried voice. "Miss Irma, what are you doing? We have to go!"

I nodded and squeezed her hand in assurance. "Come on," I said. "We're almost there."

That, of course, was when the goddamned bomb on the _sixth_ floor went off. Just as we were passing by a massive bookshelf. Which caught fire. And was falling down on us. Without thinking, I shoved Lauren to the side and made a leap out of the way as well. I couldn't escape the cascade of burning books that fell down onto me, though, and I screamed as the burning paper fell onto my head, my back-

"MY _HAIR_!" I screeched, and I ran around under the sprinklers in an attempt to make the flames that had sprouted on my head go out.

"Hold still!" shouted Lauren at me, and suddenly I was completely covered in white foam. I didn't know where she found the fire extinguisher, but as I stared at myself, completely covered in white, and reached back to feel that the hair that had been pulled back into a bun had mostly been burned up, I could only force a traumatized "Thank you," passed my lips.

"You're welcome," she responded shakily. Then another shelf fell down, and the moment of shock was over. Most of the foam washed off as we ran through the sprinklers, and I felt, with no small amount of horror and sorrow, as the pins that had held up my bun now fell out as most of my hair had burned away. Grasping each other's hand tightly, Lauren and I raced up the last flight of stairs to the roof. I tossed my ruined walkie-talkie away as we went; the water and then fire damage had rendered it useless anyway. When we reached the last steps to the outside, I gave a sob of relief that I hadn't realized I'd been holding. I grasped the handle to the roof and jiggled it- and it didn't open. We exchanged a look of terror and then with a sinking feeling of utter despair, I realized that I had left the keys to the roof on the fifth floor where I had found John.

"I… I don't have the keys…" I whispered, complete and abject desolation in my voice. Lauren stared at me, incomprehension on her face. "We can't get out," I said, and then turned away from the door to face the flames that were rising up. I could see their shadows licking along the walls hungrily, like fingers trying to get to the last little morsels before the end of the meal. "We're trapped," said brokenly, as I sat on the stairs. "We're going to die, because I was too stupid to remember to grab the keys."

"No… No!" I heard Lauren shout behind me. "No we are not! I refuse! Get up!" And she began to pound on the thick metal door, shouting, screaming, crying for someone to come and open the door, to come and save us. I didn't bother telling her it was useless, that no one would be up there. I simply pulled my glasses off and buried my face in my hands, shoulders shaking as I cried at the injustice of it all. Maybe it was just for me, payback somehow for something I'd done; maybe I deserved to die according to some cosmic reasoning, for being a slut, maybe, or for being an awful daughter. But Lauren didn't deserve it. She didn't deserve to burn alive for my mistakes. And so I cried for her, for me, although it would do no good, and then I cried, idiotically enough, for the April, and Casey, and Splinter, and the boys. They had done so much for me and they hadn't had to, and then (and even as I did it, I berated myself furiously) I wept for Donatello, harder than I ever had before. I had screwed up his life, I realized, and maybe that's why I was going to die. I couldn't bring myself to feel anger about such a death; it felt warranted when paired up with that particular reason.

I don't know how long I sat there, preparing to fry while Lauren slammed herself against the door, sobbing in desperation. The smoke billowed up into the stairwell and the two of us began to cough as it pushed into our lungs. I considered it something of a mercy; suffocation seemed better than being turned into charcoal. It felt as though time froze, and I wondered briefly if I'd end up with Henry again in the afterlife. It would probably serve me right.

But then there was shouting from the _other side _of the door, sounds of someone hammering at the metal, and Lauren jumped back and I stood up, and we stared at each other in shock and surprise and _hope_, and then-

The door flew open from the outside, the lock and knob bent and broken in, and silhouetted in the sunlight and the smoke was the most beautiful, wonderful figure in the universe, and it reached out for me as I stumbled out of the smoke and into its arms.

Donatello held me tight as I coughed and he pulled me away from the smoke to the side of a shed on the roof. Michelangelo was doing the same with Lauren, brushing the debris off her as she tried to clear her lungs. I managed to stop coughing long enough to look up into Donny's face, noting that his expression was very similar to the one he had worn when he thought Leo had stabbed me by accident- he looked at me like his universe had just been pulled back from the edge of oblivion and he couldn't believe it. I wanted to say something- opened my mouth to do just that- but then he picked me up bridal style and began to run towards the edge of the roof. I wrapped my arms around him in fear; I had no idea what the hell he was doing until he leapt to the other side. Michelangelo joined us a moment later, his arms full of Lauren, who looked like she was going into shock from fear.

I quickly pulled away from Donny and rushed over to her side as Mikey gently set her on her feet. "Lauren," I said urgently, "listen, you can't tell anyone about them, okay?" She gave no indication that she had heard me, so I grabbed her face in my hands and turned her face towards mine. "Lauren, _promise_ me. You have to _swear_ you'll never tell anyone, okay?" She stared at me, but said nothing. I shook her a little. "_Promise me!_"

Whatever was on my face must have made her mind up, because she nodded and said, "Yes, I promise, I won't tell anyone."

I breathed a sigh of relief. "Thank you," I said. "Thank you so much."

Another brother came to join us, Raphael, and he rushed to our sides, turning me towards him and giving me a once-over. Once he was certain that I was in no danger of keeling over dead, he took me in his arms and gave me a tight hug before pulling away and looking over at Lauren. Whatever he saw must have satisfied him because he turned away to Donatello. "We gotta get these two down there. They're goin' crazy lookin' for 'em."

Michelangelo grabbed both of us human girls by the hand and pulled us to the side of the building where there was a fire escape. "Here ya go," he said. "You two just climb on down there and you'll be right as rain."

"What about the fire escapee that went to the other building from the library?" I asked. "Why'd you pull us over here?"

"Someone blew it all to hell," responded Raph grimly. "Whoever set this fire was lookin' to cook you guys alive."

"Yeah, almost succeeded too," I muttered darkly. Fortunately, the fire escape was sturdy and I turned to the three brothers present. "Where's Leo?"

"Tryin' t' chase down the bastards that did this," said Raph. "Now get down there! We'll see ya later."

I nodded and guided Lauren to the escape since she was a bit stunned by the whole ordeal. Donatello came and stood next to me. I looked up at him from where I was crouched preparing to climb down myself. "Be sure to get to the ambulance," he said. "You need the smoke out of your lungs as soon as possible."

"That's not what you were going to say," I told him, "but that'll wait." And with that, I joined Lauren in climbing down the ladders. When we emerged from the alleyway of the building, I pulled Lauren aside and whispered desperately to her "Remember your promise." She nodded at me, but we were swarmed by reporters and medics right after that, so I couldn't say anything more to her. They pulled me to an ambulance and gave me an air mask, which I gladly put on, inhaling the clean air.

A nurse walked out from behind the ambulance carrying a first aid kit and began to inspect my arms to make sure that the cuts I had sustained from the falling debris wasn't too bad. I didn't pay too much attention to her until she said "I did warn you, Ms. Langinstein."

My head shot up and I found myself staring into a pair of deep green eyes surrounded by black hair. I paled, not that it was very noticeable with my face covered and all smudged up. "Karai," I whispered.

A flicker of a smile appeared at the corner of her mouth, but it disappeared as quickly as it had appeared. "Is it safe?" she asked quietly. I knew she wasn't talking about the current situation. She wouldn't have shown up like this in disguise if it were dangerous to come out. If anyone had glanced at us from any other spot in the parking lot, they would have seen a nurse tending a patient. With all the noise, it was a wonder I could hear her even. Plus, I hardly recognized danger outside of a sign that basically said "FATAL. DO NOT TOUCH." Like fire.

"Yes, but you really could have given me a warning first," I told her testily. "I have a sneaking suspicion that this fire may have been because of that."

"Perhaps. Or perhaps it's because you didn't take my advice and beware of who you trusted."

"You never told me that!"

Her eyes narrowed. "Yes I did, you just weren't listening. Perhaps I should not be surprised."

I hesitated and then shrugged. "Yeah, probably not."

Looking back, I believe I may be the only person to make Karai Oroku's eye twitch twice and not get killed for it. An accomplishment, I think. Instead of slitting my throat, she turned her careful grip into a painful vice around my arm, causing me to gasp lightly with pain. She squeezed her fingers hard around my arm and watched the expressions of discomfort flow along my face. "You should be more cautious," she said. Her voice was mild in comparison to the death grip she had on me. Leaning forward she hissed into my ear "Where is it?"

Her eyes were cold. I knew if I pushed her too far, she could have me killed with very little trouble. I swallowed. "My apartment. I haven't touched it since I found out what it was."

"And what is, it, Miss Langinstein?" she asked softly, her eyes boring holes into my mind.

"Power," I said. "Outside of that, I don't know. I haven't touched it other than to move it, like I said."

She pulled away, her eyes watching mine cautiously. Finally she looked away and pulled some bandages out of the kit. "I would suggest you do something to rid yourself of it."

"What, open it and dump out the contents?"

"Possibly."

"Wouldn't that kill me?"

"Possibly."

"Oh, that's reassuring."

"I told you before, what's in there is not something to be tampered with. It's not something that mortals should have in their possession."

I snorted. "Yeah, well, the thing isn't going anywhere anyway. Opening that thing would take…" I thought about it. "I have no idea. It would just take a while."

"You may not have much time now."

My head shot up. "What do you mean?"

"You, my dear, have kicked the proverbial hornet's nest and the biggest one of all is headed towards you."

I bit my lip. "What do you mean?"

She continued not looking up in my face, but continued patching up my other arm. "I think you know very well what I mean. And who." Karai turned my face towards her as though to examine my facial injuries, but she was using the position to hold my gaze and make me shake slightly with trepidation. "Be very, very careful, Irma Langinstein. The Foot does not recruit people unable to do the harsher things in life. Neither do our sibling clans."

With that, she turned and began packing up the First Aid Kit. "I wish you luck. You'll need it." And with that, she walked off, leaving me shaking and possibly as scared as I had been when I thought I was going to burn alive. I did indeed know who she was talking about, but I had to confirm it. I stood up, despite the protests of some of the other attendant nurses, and walked straight over to Francine who was standing not too far away from the firemen trying desperately to control the fire. She saw me coming towards her and beamed at me before walking over to me as well. "Irma! You're okay!"

"Yep! So, do you know of an art professor named Ken Shinobu?"

"I… What?"

"This is important, Franny, I need info here!" Snapping my fingers I kept my voice quick and light, trying to keep her out of the surprise loop or whatever. "Focus, focus! Ken Shinobu, you know everyone on campus, do you know him?"

"Ken… Ken Shin what?"

"Alright, so you don't know him. Guess that answers my question." I did a facepalm and sighed. "So, I'm guessing that there's no art professor by that name."

"Irma, there haven't been any new professors on campus in like, five years. I have no idea who you're talking about."

I nodded and turned around. "Figures. It juuuuust figures." I went back to the ambulance. "Do you have a pillow? Or a blanket?" The guy sitting inside gave me a strange look, but he handed a blanket to me nonetheless. "Thank you," I said, and then proceeded to wad it up and scream into it for about fifteen seconds. I then handed it back to the guy who was looking at me like I was nuts. I ignored him and sat down on the edge of the ambulance and put my head between my hands. I understood now.

Ken Shinobu was just using me to get information. Somehow he knew I was involved and wanted to know more. I was just a tool to him. Whether he was involved directly in the massacre at the warehouse or just wanted whatever I had, I didn't know, but either way he was obviously dangerous, and obviously after me. I didn't know what to do; I couldn't just up and leave, but I couldn't just move to the Lair either.

There was really nothing _to_ do but wait for him to make his move. The police were by their cars, but they were looking over at me like they were going to come over and say something. I had no intention of saying anything to them. They couldn't help me. I stood up again and asked the guy in the ambulance if I could borrow his phone. He said sure, and I called April and Casey's apartment. April answered, and when she heard my voice she almost sobbed with relief, promising she'd be there to pick me up right away.

Were I to tell you that I was in full control of my senses at this point, I'd be lying through my teeth. I sat still while I waited for April, unresponsive and pretty much brain dead. When she finally got there, she had to shake me out of my stupor and drag me to her car; it not because I was being difficult, but because I was completely and utterly drained. I didn't know what happened to Lauren; I only hoped she kept her promise. In the days to come, there was nothing from her about it, no reports on the news or in the papers about a strange eye-witness to walking, talking turtles, so I believe it can be safely assumed that she never said anything to anyone.

The rest of the day was mostly in a stupor. April took me home and waited while I bathed and cleaned up, and then she drove me to a hair-stylist because I vehemently refused to do anything until that was taken care of.

My hair was a complete disaster. It had caught on fire and most of it burned, with just my long bangs on the front framing my face. It didn't look too bad if you were talking to me from the front, but from the sides and back, it looked completely awful. There wasn't much that could be done with it, and it ended up being a pixie cut, which completely broke my heart as I considered my long hair to be my best feature. It wasn't too bad though; I had enough hair left to have layers at least.

Afterwards, I had April take me to a grocery store where I bought a gallon of peanut butter cup and chocolate ice cream before she took me home. "I don't want ANYONE to bother me," I told her. "Tomorrow I'll go down to the Lair, see everyone, let the guys know I'm alive, but right now, I just want to eat my weight in ice cream and SLEEP."

And that was exactly what I did. Except for eating my weight in ice cream. Because that would have been gross.

* * *

><p>The next day I got a call from the college. Because the library had burned down, they had no more use for the librarians and were forced to 'let us go', since otherwise we'd just be taking up space. They told me they'd send my next paycheck but that would be it, and I told them that I understood and was fine. Then I went to my bathroom and cried my eyes out again, partially because I had just lost my job, but mostly because my hair had been set on fire and was now short and I had been almost killed three times in the past six months. Also my latest ex was psychotic and pretty sure he was after me.<p>

"Irma," I said to myself, "your life officially sucks."

With that, I went down to the supermarket down the street and bought another pint of ice cream. I figured I could work off the excess calories when I was running around looking for work. Wouldn't that be fun.

* * *

><p>Despite having promised that I'd see the boys again soon, they didn't show up for another week. April and Casey, on the other hand, called and texted and came over on impromptu visits, during which time they confiscated my alcohol and made me promise I'd stay away from it. I had only had a few bottles of wine; I couldn't see why they were so worked up about it. Not only that, but they were insisting I go underground again for my own safety. "If they blew up your library, who's to say that they won't try your apartment next?" April argued.<p>

"Noooo! They already took my work, they're not taking my home too!"

"They don't care about your _home_, they care about your _life_! Stop being so pigheaded and just go down there for a while!"

But I staunchly refused to give in. Casey was the one who got fed up enough to forcibly remove me from my apartment. He picked me up and put me over his shoulder, ignoring my screams of protest while April followed after us, a hastily packed suitcase full of my things in her hand. He shoved me into his van and drove us to a garage where he parked it, picked me up again (because I was NOT going to give in) and carried me down into the sewer system.

"This is tyranny!" I was shouting. "This is wrongful action against an innocent person!"

"This is us trying to save your ungrateful, stubborn ass!" Casey snapped back at me. "Now shut up and calm down!"

Of course I ignored his commands completely. We arrived in the Lair with Casey still hauling me around, April dragging behind looking exhausted, and myself still protesting strongly. The boys and Master Splinter were waiting for us when we got there, and Raph took me from Casey and, like his human friend, carried me straight to the Nurse's Office, followed closely by Donatello. Mikey managed to get in a brief 'hello' before the door was slammed behind us.

Raph plopped me down on the cot and the sudden jarring coupled with a good forty-five minutes of angry tirade made the remaining smoke in my lungs act up, and I began coughing hard. Raphael kept a hand on my shoulder as I coughed and Donatello brought me a glass of water. "Here," he said. "Drink this." Taking it from him, I managed to swallow some, which eased the discomfort I was feeling in my lungs. Raphael stood up once he saw that I was no longer in danger of hacking up a lung, went out to join the rest of the gang in the Lair to discuss what was going on. He glanced back at me as he was heading out the door, and seemed to want to say something to me. A brief struggle of emotions crossed his face before he glanced at Donny and then slipped out of the room, making sure the door was closed behind him.

Don and I were left alone, him doing a visual examination of my injuries, and me finishing off the water. When I was done, he took it from me and sat it down next to me on the cot. "Are you feeling better?" he asked.

I nodded. "Uh-huh. I'm better. That was the most I've coughed in a while."

"Good," he said, and then he took my face between his hands and drew me to him for a kiss- and it was a _damn good kiss_. I froze, momentarily stunned by his actions and by the fact that he was _kissing me_, which I had pretty much just assumed would never happen again, ever. But I got over it soon and wrapped my arms around his shoulders, which allowed him to pull me tight against him, his arms around my waist. This kiss was different than the others we had before; it was a kiss of pure relief, as though every tension, every fear and every worry he had ever had was now gone. When he pulled back, he cupped a hand against my cheek and stared at me like I was the most wonderful thing in the world, and once again, my mouth went dry. This time wasn't from smoke, though. I could feel a deep blush begin to work its way over my face, and had the moment not been so intense I probably would have looked away. And then that controlling and logical mind that made him so smart and unique seemed to give way to something else, and he buried his face in my neck, his shoulders shaking slightly. Confused, I could do nothing but wrap my arms around him tighter.

"When I saw the news about your college burning," he said against my skin, his voice muffled with emotion, "I couldn't breathe or think of anything except all the times that I ran out on you and how I might… might never see you again. All I could see was images of you trapped in there, burning or suffocating and how the last time I heard your voice you were calling for me to come back, and I hated myself."

Once more, the tears sprung unbidden to my eyes and I managed to choke out his name before I buried my own face in his neck. He shifted and kissed my hair and my cheek and my neck, moving me so that I was sitting in his lap and I could be flush against him. "I'm s-s-sorry," I sobbed out. "I u-u-usually ne-never cry, b-but I c-can't he-help it recentl-l-ly for s-s-some re-re-reason."

"It's okay," he whispered against me. "It's alright. Everything is fine now."

I pulled my glasses off and wiped my eyes, still sniffing and blurry eyed, but I smiled at him and he kissed me again. "I'm so sorry," he said to me. "I should never have left you. I was just… scared, I guess."

I gave a tiny laugh. "Yeah, I could tell."

He gave me a little smile back, but then the earnest look came back in his eyes."I won't run again," he said softly. "Maybe all my fears will come true and we won't last and stuff will happen, but…" he seemed to struggle for words before settling on them. "It would be wrong and ridiculously unfair to both of us if I didn't try to work it out."

There was nothing I could do but lay my head against his shoulder and bury my face in his neck again. He rested his head on mine and I said "I've waited a while for you to say that to me."

"I know."

"Only took you four million years."

He laughed lightly and kissed my head again. "Mikey'll be thrilled."

"Why?"

"He set up that Christmas party just to get the two of us together. He's going to be taking the credit for this for the rest of forever."

I burst out into laughter and he joined me, and as we held each other on that little cot in an underground sewer system, I didn't care that my hair had been burned off and that someone was after me and I had almost been cooked alive because I was the happiest that I had ever been that I could remember for a long time.

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><p>No, it's not the end of the story, don't worry. And also don't worry about future drama; there's going to be plenty more before the Grand Finale (which isn't going to be drug out, so don't worry about that either). But Irma and Don were walking around looking so depressed and sad that I had to let them get together. They're so lovey-dovey now it's almost sickening. You should totally all review and tell them to give it a break! And also to say what kind of job I've been doing, because this chapter was RI-DIC-U-LOUS to write. I hope you enjoyed it though.<p>

Next up, Irma job hunting… and other stuffs… But I'll leave that up to your imaginations. ;)


	18. Chapter Eighteen

Hey, guys! I'm so sorry I didn't post this up on Monday as usual, but there was a slight hiccup with the interwebz here at home. It's gotten a bad habit of spacing in and out and so I couldn't upload the chapter without it being deleted multiple times. I finally got to use the library computer to put it up here. I'll try to get the next chapter up on schedule, but unfortunately I can't make any promises. Hopefully the quality off this chapter makes up for the lateness though.

So, this is going to be a slower chapter than the last couple, a sort of mellow explaining-things type chapter. It's also sort of the calm before the huge-ass storm brewing up, because from this point on it is GOIN' DOOOOWWWWNNNNNN… like they say in some circles. Maybe. I think. IN ANY CASE, I hope you enjoy this chapter as much as the last ones.

Special Thanks to my beta readers and reviewers! I love you guys to bits!

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><p><strong>Chapter Eighteen<strong>

Don and I sat there, clinging to each other for a few minutes until finally we untangled ourselves and decided that we should probably get out and tell everyone that things were fine. But even as we stood up, we kept our hands clasped tightly together. His two thick fingers made it impossible to intertwine my smaller, slender(er) fingers with his, but we kept them tight together and as we walked our arms brushed against each other.

Don opened up the door to the Nurse's Office and we walked outside we were met with boisterous cheers from Mikey and Casey. "Wooooo! Finally!" The youngest brother clapped his hands together with a gigantic grin on his face and Casey wolf-whistled. April laughed and Leonardo looked very pleased. Raphael had a grin on his face and gave us a thumbs-up. There was a brief moment of laughter and slight chaos before there was the sound of a cane rapping on the stone floor. Master Splinter stood off slightly to the side, his tranquil expression still in place, but with a slight quirk upwards at the corner of his mouth. "Boys," he said, "settle down. There will be time for merriment once we have discussed the attack on Irma." Instantly the mood sobered and we gathered together around the dining table which had been replaced by a larger one sometime before. Naturally I sat next to Don and the other side was taken by Master Splinter.

He had me discuss what happened in detail, first with Ken, and then at the library. Leonardo, to his credit, did not try explain why he had decided not to help with my Ken-Stalker issue, and instead bowed his head and apologized to both myself and Splinter for his negligence. Splinter shook his head and waved it off. "Some things cannot be predicted, my son. And men who lack human decency are even harder to predict, because they will do anything." This seemed to cheer Leo up slightly, as he sat up a little straighter. "But," Splinter continued, "we should continue to be on our guard. It is doubtful that we have seen the last of this man."

"Ugh," I said, and made a face.

"Indeed," said Master Splinter. He stood up slowly and sighed. "For now, however, I believe we can rest easy knowing that he would not be so bold as to try anything again too soon."

We all got up to go do our separate individual things (or in the case of myself and Don, be teased by everyone) but as the two of us began to move off, Splinter called, "Donatello and Irma. If you two would be so good as to remain behind…" We froze, and I felt the familiar licks of nervousness appear inside me. _Oh, crap, he doesn't approve, does he? Damnit! It's because I'm too loud, I know it!_

"Donatello, if you would come speak to me in my meditation room." He began to move in the direction also, and then glanced back at me. "I would appreciate it, Irma, if you would wait here until I am done speaking with my son."

I gulped, and I'm pretty sure all the blood had drained from my face. Don kissed my cheek in an attempt to reassure me before he headed in to speak to his father. It didn't work. I sat down on the sofa by myself and tried to take deep breaths. That didn't work either. I put my head in my hands and counted to ten, because that usually worked. But it didn't. So I had to resort to going to the freezer and getting out some ice cream and then to the cabinet where Ralph kept his hard liquor. But then I thought that I had resorted to ice cream too much recently and my waist would soon be showing it. So I put the ice cream back. I also remembered that Raph would kill me if he found out I snatched his booze, so I put that back too. Then I went to sit back on the sofa and did my best to not throw up from sheer terror.

There was a small part of me that wanted desperately to go eavesdrop against the door, but I knew that there was no way in heck that I would ever get away with that. So I was stuck outside, wondering what on earth was going on when the door opened and Donny stepped out. "Hey, Irma," he called softly. "Sensei would like to speak with you now." I looked at the clock. It had been around ten minutes since Don had gone in. I stood up and took a deep breath. _Get psyched, Irma, get psyched_, I told myself.

I went to the door where my turtle (that was a shock; I almost tripped when I realized I had thought of him as mine) was holding it open for me, watching my face for any sign of the nausea I'm sure he knew I was feeling. We exchanged a brief look as I walked into the room, and his eyes seemed to convey all the feelings he had for me as he shut the door behind me, holding my gaze for as long as he could. If someone had told me a year before that a turtle would make me go weak at the knees, I would have suggested them to the nearest psychiatrist. And yet, here we were.

The door shut with a quiet but firm 'thud', and I turned to see Master Splinter sitting on the opposite side of a small table that was set with his usual tea. He smiled at me encouragingly and motioned to the seat across from him. "Come. Sit and talk with me."

My mouth was dry, my palms were sweaty. My hair was _short_. My confidence level was, at least in this particular area, rather low. But I sat down from the person who had raised the four brothers who had saved my life several times, and despite my fear I still carried great respect for him. I wasn't sure which of us was supposed to get the ball rolling, but as he sipped his tea, I decided to start. "Thank you, Master Splinter, for letting me stay here again. I know it must be a great inconvenience to you."

He set his tea down and shook his head. "That is nonsense, child, and well you know it. My sons and I greatly enjoy your company, and I particularly appreciate your skills in organization. No, we will not discuss that."

"Then what will we discuss, sir?"

"My son's great affection for you, of course."

"Of course," I whispered.

"Now," he began, "it has been obvious to me, and, I believe to his brothers as well, that Donatello has been somewhat infatuated with you from the start."

My eyes widened. "From the- excuse me?"

"Do not behave as though you did not know it," he admonished gently. "His actions were very typical of a young man with strong feelings of a romantic nature towards you. And," Splinter's eyes caught and held mine, "your behavior towards him was very similar."

A fierce blush worked its way up my cheeks, but I still felt some confusion. Before that night at the dance, before I danced with him… Had I felt something else? Had I been harboring feelings that I hadn't recognized.

"Perhaps I did," I said, more to myself than to him, and my voice was surprised. "I guess… well, all things considered…" I _had _spent more time talking to him than to the others. I had looked forward to his visits more often. And my heart had done little leaps when he had signed onto our instant messaging system…

"Jesus Christ!" I exclaimed in a shocked tone, "I fell for him and I didn't even know it!"

Master Splinter had taken a sip of tea before my surprised outburst, and promptly began choking on it as soon as I took the Lord's Name in vain (I did the sign of the cross to make up for it though). I rushed to his side and began to pat his back; after a moment he waved me away and I sat back. He took a moment to compose himself, but the fact that I had made him choke did not bode well for me, and suddenly the fear that I felt burst from my chest and into my mouth and-

"Look, I know I'm definitely not the person you ever expected that any of your sons would find, if you expected it at all, but I really… I really care about him. I want him to be happy." My voice grew soft as I spoke, and I said the last words with complete honesty; "I want to make him happy."

"But," I continued, "if you really don't think that I can do that, then… then I'd like to prove it to you. Because he's important to me. And I don't want to come between you two."

I stared down at my hands and spoke in soft tones. "I know I'm not the best person when it comes to, to romance and stuff. I've made a lot of mistakes and done a lot of things that I'm not proud of. But I can tell you," I turned my eyes to his again, "I can tell you that I'll do my best. I promise I will."

Master Splinter took my hand in his and patted it. "I know, Irma," he said. "I know. You need not prove anything to me. I know."

"But," he said, releasing my hand, his voice serious, "he is still a turtle, and despite what you feel for each other, he cannot give you many, many things that you might otherwise have." I stared down at my hands again as he spoke. "He cannot offer you a true home, as a human man could. He cannot provide for you, or shelter you from much of life. He cannot marry you," he said quietly, and a tiny pang with through my heart. "He cannot marry you, and he cannot give you children. He can protect you, but it would be a lie if I were to say anything besides the truth: that he is very often in danger, and it may involve you. Irma," he leaned forward slightly, to emphasize his words. "He places himself in harm's way very often. If you and Donatello wish to remain together, if you wish to keep your feelings for each other strong, you must be prepared to suffer these things. You must be prepared to living alone in the eyes of all others, to keep him and ourselves a secret. You must be prepared to go without the joy of raising children given to you by him. You must be prepared, Irma…" and he paused briefly before speaking again, and he looked pained. "You must be prepared for the inevitable."

"You mean if he gets killed," I said bluntly. He sighed and nodded. We were both silent for a moment as we considered the likelihood of that happening. "I won't let that happen," I said, and my voice was harder than I thought it could be, coming from me.

"You may not be able to stop it," Splinter replied.

"Then I'll do whatever I can to prevent it."

He made a small sound of approval (I think) and nodded his head. "This is acceptable to me." I heaved a sigh of relief. "Just remember," he raised a warning finger at me, "what I have cautioned you about. It may prove to be too difficult for you in the end. Be ready for these things."

"I will. Or… I'll do my best."

He smiled. "That is all anyone can ask. Now then," he said, sitting back, his demeanor changing to a more relaxed one, "I believe one of my sons is very eagerly awaiting the results of our conversation." His eyes twinkled briefly with merriment. "Try to give him a scare. It'll do him some good."

With a grin, I stood up and walked to the door, feeling much better about my chances now.

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><p>The next couple of months were calm, peaceful even, in regards to life-threatening situations and threats. In other areas, such as the job department, things were not going so well.<p>

There were just not very many jobs open for a librarian at that particular time, for whatever reason. I was overqualified for the lower positions and under-qualified for anything besides what I had already been doing- acquisitions and general library work. I had some money set aside to help me get by for a while, a few months or so. I spent most of my time job-hunting online or walking around looking for 'Help wanted' signs.

My evenings were now almost always taken up with Donatello, not that I minded that in the least. He would always try to stop by at least once a day, in the early morning and semi-late evening. The first time he came over in the morning, I was fast asleep and woke up to him kissing me on the forehead. Unfortunately, the sweet gesture was ruined by the fact that I was unused to being greeted that way in the morning and swatted his face away in my half-unconscious confusion. Once I realized who it was, I apologized profusely and we ended up cuddling in my bed until I fell back asleep. I awoke later on to find a note on my pillow wishing me a good day and that he'd be back later if he could. It turned into a routine where he would come by in the morning, wake me up and then snuggle until I went back to bed. Then at night I would make dinner late so he could come and eat with me, and we'd talk. Sometimes the other boys would join us and we would all laugh and have a good time, but usually it was just the two of us. I went to the Lair much more often now, both to be with him and to just make sure everything was running smoothly. I became a sort of house keeper, I suppose, although I rarely had to do any cleaning, just organizing, cooking when they were too tired, and going to get the essentials they needed. They all appreciated it, especially Master Splinter, and they let me know quite frequently.

Nothing happened between Don and I other than the cuddling and kissing. Neither of us were planning on going any further until we had figured everything out and had 'adjusted' to the newness of it all. We both recognized early on that we were sort of in a 'honey-moon' stage and that we couldn't let it get to our heads too much, because that was when you made the most mistakes. I knew this from experience; he knew this from studying psychology.

The others adjusted to it all fairly quickly. Michelangelo was elated; he took much of the credit since he had conspired to get us together since that fateful night at the warehouse. The Christmas Party had been his master plan, and although it hadn't gone quite the way he'd planned, it couldn't be said that he'd failed.

Leonardo was supportive of us, making sure to include me in whatever everyone was doing (usually; we had all agreed that it was best I be kept away from any sort of weapon whatsoever) and taking time out to talk to me and Don about each other when we needed advice or just had questions.

Casey and April were much the same way; April and I still got together on Friday nights, but now I had stories to exchange about my guy too. She was able to give me advice and insight on his actions when I was confused and worried, which I appreciated, and she told me that Don often went to Casey when he was unsure about something to do with me. We both appreciated their help.

And Raphael was… Raphael. He treated us both the same way he always had, with a sort of teasing and occasionally disdainful manner. But he never made us feel unsure or awkward and I knew I could rely on him to lend a shoulder for me to cry on when I needed it.

Master Splinter treated me much the same, always polite, but he wasn't so formal in some aspects with me. There were some things that I did now that I hadn't done when I was only a guest and everyone was fine with it. It included going into every guy's room and cleaning it. Raph came home one time shortly after I had organized his things, and his cry of horror had echoed throughout the Lair in a very satisfying way. Donny had had to pick me up and run with me in his arms out of the Lair and back to my apartment, dodging Raph's throwing stars all the way there.

Suffice to say, things were rather perfectly glorious.

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><p>The one other thing that I did in my spare time when I wasn't looking for jobs or spending time with Don was working on the Puzzle Box. I'm sure you can guess which one I'm referring to. After Karai's appearance at the scene of the fire, I had decided to take her advice and get rid of the damn thing, including whatever was inside it. However, whatever was inside it would probably keep me from destroying it completely. I couldn't smash the thing, and short of tossing it into the Hudson Bay (which I did consider) there was nothing that I could do. Throwing it into the ocean didn't seem like a very good idea either. I kept having flashing images of the box washing up on shore and coming back to bite me in the butt somehow. To prevent this outcome, I decided to keep it where it was. But, to coin a phrase, getting it open so I could burn whatever was inside was a <em>bitch<em>.

I had gotten good at puzzle boxes in the previous months. I mean really, really good. It was an encouraging sign that I could get some things to shift and figure out a few patterns, but most of it was just pure luck when I managed to get something to move.

The big breakthrough came one afternoon when I was sitting in front of the metal box, my mind mostly burned out from the pitiful attempts I had been making to crack the case, when I got a text on my phone. It was my brother, asking me to send him a picture via text of my new haircut. I was browsing through my photos to find one suitable when I happened to spot the pictures I had taken of the stolen painting in the warehouse. I sniffed derisively at the memories and prepared to delete the pictures when I noticed something interesting. Frowning, I zoomed in on one photo and looked closely at the angle of a lily pad in the shot. My eyes widened in shock, and I turned to stare at the box. On the box in front of me was a panel, a panel that had defied all my attempts to move it. It was a round shape, not perfect, and it had a few odd indentions on it.

It looked exactly like the lily pad on my phone. Immediately, I began scanning my other pictures of the painting and looking for patterns in the box. Hesitantly, I reached out and turned the lily pad piece a quarter to the right, so that it lined up with another piece of the box that looked like a fish underwater that was in the painting. I heard a click.

At that moment, I understood completely. The painting hadn't been stolen because it was valuable in of itself; it was valuable because it was the key to the box! And thus, whatever was inside it! That was why it had been stolen.

My second wind came to me in a rush, revitalizing me, and I redoubled my efforts on the box using the pictures on my phone. It was still slow going and it wasn't easy to figure out the specific order of what needed to be moved, but I made significantly more progress on the box in the next hour than I had in the previous month put together.

It was after I decided to take a break that I realized that my apartment was just not suited to the protection of an ancient, potentially deadly relic that had been lost for centuries. It needed to be kept safe. It needed to be guarded, particularly by someone other than me. It needed to go to the Lair.

I told Donatello about it first, when he came to visit me that night. He knew something was up when I greeted him at the window with a scotch, which he only drank when he was very perturbed about something. As soon as he crawled through the window I put it in his hand, and he stared at it momentarily before turning back to me with a resigned expression. "Alright, what did you do now?"

"What, can't a girl give her man a drink?"

"She can, but usually right before giving him a bill for something big."

"Well, you're paranoid. I don't have a bill."

"Good, because I wouldn't be able to help you with it anyway."

"I have something that might blow me up though."

He had taken a sip of his scotch, and the second I said that, Don began to choke on it. I had to pat his back (shell, rather) a few minutes before could speak, and when he did, I could tell he was trying to control his temper. "When you say 'I have something that might blow me up', what, exactly, do you mean?"

With a sigh, I took his hand and pulled him to my office room where the metal box was sitting on the ground, the moved panels giving it an even stranger look than before. Don stared at it without expression, and then tossed back the rest of his scotch in one go. He gave a hiss and shook his head, then put his glass down and turned to me. "Irma," he said pleasantly, "please don't be too mad when I say this, but ARE YOU FREAKING INSANE? How long have you had this thing? What the hell _IS_ it? What have you been doing, making pacts with long-dead deities? How'd you even GET this thing?"

"It's not like I planned this!" I wailed. "The guy was dying! He just handed it to me! What was I supposed to do, just shove it back into his hands?"

"YES!" Don shouted at me. "When someone hands you something that literally HUMS with power, you are NOT SUPPOSED TO TAKE IT!"

"He didn't hand me the box, he gave me a key!"

"What the heck was the key for?"

"Storage room," I replied.

Donatello took my face in his hands so I was looking directly at him. "How did you know which storage room?" he asked.

"Had the company logo on the key," I responded immediately. I wasn't exactly proud of the skill, but I had developed the gift of lying very convincingly early on in life. Despite the dubious moral ramifications of using this particular ability, it sure as hell came in handy on occasion.

My turtle scanned my face for a few moments before releasing me with a sigh. "Alright," he said. "So we've got something that explains why your college has been bombed."

"How do you figure that?" I asked him.

"Obviously, somehow someone knows you were at that warehouse and they know you have the key," he said seriously. "You breaking up with someone would probably not cause someone to blow up a library."

"Oh… Well, that's not very romantic," I complained.

My boyfriend stared at me incomprehensibly. "You want someone to blow up your workplace to prove his love for you?"

"It gets the message across."

He gave me a very un-Donatello-like smirk. It was kind of… sexy. "I can think of other ways to prove my love for you that doesn't involve fire. Well, not _that_ kind of fire anyway."

My mouth went dry. "Oh." The mood was suddenly very charged. But then Don turned back to the box and it died.

"We really should take this down to the Lair," he said from his crouching position on the floor, not looking up at me. "Despite your excellent right hook, that probably won't be enough to protect this thing."

"Oh, good," I told him. "I was really hoping you'd say that."

"Of course," he said. "The chance of this thing discharging or creating some negative energy is unlikely, but I don't want to risk it." He turned to look up at me, his face serious. "I had nightmares about you being burned alive or leaving for weeks after the fire at the library. I won't let you get hurt again." He turned back to examine the box. "The unusual configuration and atypical usage of the metal-" and that was as far as he got before I tackled him so that he was lying on his back and I kissed him fiercely while sitting on his chest. He was very surprised for a moment, but quickly warmed up.

There was no discussion of the box for the next few seconds until I pulled back with a smile. "You're the first person ever to talk about protecting me like that. Thank you."

"If that's the reaction I get just from mentioning your safety, next time I'll go into concrete bunkers for you."

I won't go into the rest of the conversation because it deteriorated into sweet, mushy, lovey-dovey stuff after that, but it ended with Don taking the box with him to the Lair and the promise that we could work on it together down there from then on. I was seeing him off at the window that overlooked the ally, his arms full of Weird Box when he turned to me and gave me a surprise kiss, long and deep, before heading out, not needing to see the blush crawling up my cheeks to know it was there. "I'll see you later, Irms," he told me. "Also, you're the most beautiful woman in the world."

Despite the fact that I probably had people looking for me so they could take my head and I was jobless, I had never been happier before in my life.

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><p>Phew. Okay, a short(er) chapter, but can I just say I'm glad it was short? After several 15-plus page chapters, a small one like this was a refreshing change. Plus, some important things happened here that set up the rest of the story. I decided to throw in the Donny and Irma stuff to keep you romantic types happy while the other important but not as explosive stuff starts playing out.<p>

I hope you all enjoyed it, despite the lack of BOOMS and fire, but even if you didn't PLEASE REVIEEEEWWWW… Every time you review, a kitten gets adopted. And when you don't, it gets killed and turned into violin strings. Not by me though, cause I like kitties.


	19. Chapter Nineteen

Okay, THIS CHAPTER right here… I have been WAITING for this chapter since I started this story. Actually, I've waited for a lot of chapters since I started this story, but this IS THE SECOND REALLY, REALLY BIG ONE. Hopefully the capitol letters fully convey the depth of my excitement. Cause it's pretty dang exciting. Just sayin'.

I want to thank my beta-readers, Colonel Pop and GoodSmileGirl for their dedication and wonderful input. This story's awesomeness has increased by 28% due to their hard work. Also thanks to all my loyal reviewers who give me such great feedback. I appreciate it, really.

I don't own TMNT in any way, shape or form. If I did, there might be a few changes. I'm sure you can guess what they would be by now.

WARNING: LOTS of strong language in this chapter. Be prepared.

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><p><strong>Chapter Nineteen<strong>

It was the end of June, Donatello and I had been together for three months, my hair had only grown out to my chin, and I still hadn't found a job. My funds were dwindling by the day, and I had taken to eating peanut butter sandwiches as my primary source of food. I still bought milk though, because peanut butter without milk was just barbaric and nothing would ever convince me otherwise. I had started pawning things off to help make ends meet until I could find a cheaper apartment, or, preferably, another job.

Oh, and Don and I hadn't had sex yet. That didn't help my mood any.

Nonetheless, I did my best to maintain a positive outlook on things. Despite my current hardships, I wasn't starving, I still had a place to sleep, I had supportive friends, a somewhat begrudging but still loyal family, and a boyfriend who, despite the limitations, did his best to help and sustain me as best he could. Usually that involved massages and making me occasionally eat something besides peanut butter sandwiches. Like pizza.

We had made decent progress on the Puzzle Box, at least from what we could tell. It was usually me trying to figure it out; Don spent most of the time trying to scan or probe it to see what was inside. Something in the metal (which he could not identify; this delighted him to no end) prevented a successful examination of the contents, but I didn't mind. It made it easier to open, not knowing that I might very well be opening an egg from the Alien franchise. The thought of a face hugger* jumping out of the box and attaching itself to my face was not a pleasant one, and not knowing what was in there allowed me to pretend it was marshmallow peeps or something.

Neither hide nor hair had been seen of Ken either, not that I was at all depressed by this. Leonardo was convinced that this was a bad sign, and everyone excluding myself and Michelangelo were inclined to agree. I didn't pay attention to it because I was too happy not having a creepy guy around, and Mikey didn't pay attention because his attention and interest span for something didn't last longer than a week.

Nonetheless, despite their concerns about Ken and his whereabouts, the boys had begun turning their interest to other things, such as beating up muggers, thieves, rapists, the usual lowlife criminal element. This wasn't upsetting to me; the old adage that says "Out of sight, out of mind" held true in this case. Because of this, what happened next was an unpleasant shock to say the least.

I had spent the day with the boys down in the Lair rather than looking for a job, because I had gotten depressed over the fact that I hadn't found one yet. In an attempt to cheer me up, I was invited down for a series of board games and pizza, as well as witnessing a true ninja fight between the brothers in the Great Room. They were really just playing around, but it was enough to make me unwilling to ever go up against any sort of ninja in real life. At least, not without a machine gun, because that was the only chance I would have in that situation. Regardless of realizing that my own physical ability would never in a hundred years match up to those of the boys, I had a pretty stupendous day. They quickly buoyed up my flagging spirits and by the time they went to escort me home, I was feeling pretty darned good.

All four of them were coming with me because during what I charitably called my "Dead Woman Walking Phase" right after the library had burned down, I had purchased a superfluous amount of ice cream and needed to get rid of it. That's where they came in. Although they were technically turtles, and therefore should not have been able to consume dairy products without getting seriously ill, they ate all manner of milk-related foodstuffs with a frightening heartiness.

It was somewhat late at night, about eleven, and most of them had all their windows closed and were asleep or getting ready for bed (I lived in an apartment filled mostly with older people or young families). The five of us climbed up the fire escape to my apartment, and I opened my window to climb, saying as I did "Now, I don't have any toppings, but really, you don't need any with Moose Tracks." And then it happened. I turned around from the window to face my apartment and froze.

There, sitting on my sofa looking calm as you please was Ken Shinobu. He was wearing a black suit and didn't appear to be perturbed in the least by the sight of four massive turtles hauling themselves through my apartment window. I should have warned the guys, told them to run away, I know, but when I saw him, all the memories of the fire came back and I stood stock still, an old, now familiar terror clutching at my throat, making it impossible to speak.

I didn't need to say anything, because as soon as he first turtle (I think it was Leo, but I don't remember because I was experiencing tunnel vision at this point) came through the window, he pulled out his weapons and made to move towards the intruder sitting on my couch. Before I knew it, all four brothers were poised beside me, weapons at the ready, but none of them made a move towards Ken.

That was because Ken was holding my pistol. He was aiming it at my chest. All of us in that room knew that the turtles could try to take him down, and would most likely succeed, but it only took one second for Ken to pull that trigger and kill me.

"Hi, Irma," he said pleasantly. "I think we should have a talk."

"Fuck you!" shouted Raphael, and he looked like he was about to hurl one of his sais at Ken's head when Don grabbed his hand, panic in his voice.

"No, don't!" he said urgently. "Irma!"

He wasn't calling to me, just drawing attention to the fact that I could be lying dead in a pool of my own blood in two seconds. "Oh, good lord," I whispered faintly, and took a step forward to lean against my armchair for support.

"I don't see why we can't be calm about this," said Ken again. "I wouldn't even need this gun if you guys weren't so prone to attacking everything."

"You burned down her library with Irma still in it!" said Michelangelo angrily. "We're not just going to forget that, man. That's not something you do to people you wanna have a calm conversation with."

Ken gave a small shrug. "Perhaps, but I needed Irma to see that I was being serious."

"Message received, now what do you want?" I demanded.

His grin was feral. "I want that box of yours."

I knew immediately what he was talking about, but also that giving it to him would be a very, very bad idea. "What box?"

"You know what box I'm talking about."

I pointed to the door of my mini-office. "I have about five hundred puzzle boxes in there. You'd have to be more specific."

"Halloween night," he responded smoothly. "You went to a warehouse. An old man was shot, and he gave you a key to a storage area that had a box in it, now where… is… the box?"

"How did you know I was there?" I was stalling for time. Maybe the guys would think of something while he was talking to me. The gun pointed at me was making me nervous.

"It's called security footage, dear. We have you and all four of your… friends," here he glanced distastefully at the turtles behind my back, and I had the sudden urge to claw his eyes out. "I saw you skulking around while the others attacked my compatriots. Well," he amended, "former compatriots."

"And," he added, "we have plenty of footage of you four as well." He gestured to the turtles with his free hand. "Enough to get you all into some trouble, should I be so inclined to release it to less friendly peoples. Now," his voice became harsh, "Where is the box?"

"I'm telling you, the only boxes that I found were the ones in crates, and those are in my office. You can look if you want!" I should have been an actress. He looked like he believed it. Almost.

His grip on the gun tightened momentarily, and I could feel Donatello ever so slightly shift into a crouch that would allow him to throw himself in front of me if so needed. I was not going to let that happen. Ken spoke again, his voice now changed to a tone that was used when trying to explain something simple to a small child. If he didn't have my life in his hands, it would have pissed me the hell off. "You were given a key by a Mr. Isamu Akutagawa shortly before he died in front of you. I have the footage of this."

"Yes, he did," I said, trying to keep myself from breaking down. "He gave me the key, and I found out what it was for, and I opened the storage. I brought the crates here and went through them, or as many as I could. There's still a bunch in there, and you can take them all if you want."

He stood up suddenly and the guys would have jumped at him had he not cocked his gun and changed his handle on it so that it was pointed at my head. I felt faint. "You know damn well that those fucking toys are not what I'm after," he hissed at me. "You know what I'm talking about. If you don't give me the box, I'll tell my contact to release all of the footage and photos of your freaks here to the general public. Their jumping tricks will only help them evade the police so long. In fact," his face became predatory, "I'd suggest throwing themselves at the police's mercy in that case. Less likely to resort to dissection."

"I would suggest you change your tune," Leonardo said, his voice cold and controlled. "Despite your boasts, there are still four of us and one of you. We could change your mind if given twelve seconds."

Ken gave a mocking laugh. "Oh, please. You can't imagine _that _I'm that stupid. I've got people preparing to release all of it if I don't call them within an hour. And I'm much tougher to break than you'd think."

"No one will believe you," countered Donatello. "Four anthropomorphic turtles? On video? You know that's the kind of drivel that only those trashy tabloids would pick up. No self-respecting newspaper companies would pick that up."

"Would you bet your future on it?" Ken asked. No one answered.

"Ken," I whispered, and his attention swung back to me. I swallowed, deciding to try one last gamble before things went too far. Everyone in the room was poised to do something, and if it kept up someone was going to be seriously hurt, maybe killed, and it would likely, from the position of the gun, be me. I lowered my voice in an attempt to sound composed, but there was a harsh, panicked undertone. "Ken, whatever you want, I'll give it to you. You can have the boxes if you want, you can take them all, anything at all, but I swear I don't know what you're talking about. If there's one in particular you want, take it, and I won't stop you, but I really don't know what you're trying to ask for. Nothing in there stood out to me, I swear to you. Please, Ken," and here I slowly stood up from the arm chair, my hands held before me in a beseeching position. "Please, just leave them alone."

There was absolute silence in the room. No one said anything, and no one moved. I was too afraid to look at any of the turtles, too petrified to glance anywhere but at Ken's face. I searched desperately for any sign, and flicker that my plea had gone through to him, but he was carefully guarded and gave nothing away. Had I not been so completely terrified, I would have been envious.

"You have no idea of what I'm talking about, do you?" he said finally, his tone making a statement of fact rather than a question.

I swallowed, biting my lip nervously. "I don't know about the box you're referring to. I can go look if you want me to, but I don't know about the specific one you're talking about."

Ken said nothing but narrowed his eyes. "You'd know if you had seen it." He paced slowly back and forth, his gun pointed at me still. I held my breath.

"Alright," he said finally. "Maybe you don't know about it." A huge breath of relief left my lungs, and I closed my eyes briefly. He continued to speak, but to himself and no longer to us. "It's possible it was moved. Maybe the key was switched before that."

I was about to wave the guys out the window behind my back when he stopped and turned to me so suddenly it made me take a step back. A slow, rapacious, almost vile grin spread across his face. "I'll let them be. But I still want something for it."

I swallowed. The boys behind me shifted again. "W-what do you want?"

"I'll call my contacts and tell them to forget about releasing the evidence…" he let the words trail off, keeping us in suspense while his eyes were focused on me, "if you'll spend the night with me."

The boys immediately exploded behind me while the blood drained completely from my face.

"_YOU FUCKER_!" bellowed Raphael, hardly being able to keep himself from wrapping his hands around Ken's neck. "You god-damned, motherfucking _bastard_!"

"I will ram this sword down your throat in a heartbeat if you even make a move towards her!" shouted Leonardo, pulling his katana out and pointing it at Ken.

Michelangelo said nothing, but moved to shield me protectively, all humor and cheeriness gone from his face to be replaced by a fearsome mask, the face of an impassive protector.

Donatello also said nothing; he stood stock still, completely stunned for about three seconds, and then with a wild shout tried to throw himself at Ken, his hands bare, fully intending to rip him to shreds with his fingers.

I sat there as they shouted, as Ken waved his gun towards Donatello, and I saw in my mind's eye bodies strewn across the ground, blood leaking out from the corner of Donatello's mouth-

"I'LL DO IT!" I shouted above the din. There was instant silence and five pairs of eyes stared at me. The image of all of my friends, of _my turtle_, dead from bullet wounds on the floor pounded in my mind as I stepped towards Ken and said quietly, "If you promise to leave them alone and destroy all evidence of them, I'll sleep with you tonight."

"Irma, no!" shouted Don, running up next to me. "How can you even consider this?! Absolutely not!"

"There's no goddamn way in hell I'm letting him anywhere near you," snarled Raph, and his sentiment was emphasized with him pointing his sais at Ken's throat.

Don turned me towards him, his hands gripping my shoulders. "Irma, you cannot do this. You can't believe he's telling the truth. You can't… you can't just let him use you like this!" He stared at me in desperation, and then cupped my cheek in his hand. "Don't do it. This is not an option. This is not right."

I sighed and closed my eyes, leaning into his hand. Ken's voice came from the side, his distaste made clear. "This is my only offer. As entertaining as this drama is, I'm not interested in watching unfold any further than it has. One night with me verses a lifetime spent on the run or in labs. Seems like an easy choice to me."

"Not when you're a slimy scum-sucker!" Mikey hissed at him.

"I've been called worse," the other human said in a lofty tone.

Leonardo came and stood beside Donatello and pulled me towards him with one hand. "Irma, he could be lying," he said earnestly. "Allowing him to… to use you like this won't save any of us."

"I'm a man of my word," Ken responded to the accusation smoothly. "One phone call and this can disappear forever. But you need to act fast. This offer expires in," he checked his watch, "I'd saaaay… one minute."

"I'm going to kill you," Donatello swore, rounding on Ken. "I will kill you with my own two hands."

"And if he doesn't, I will!" Raphael was enthusiastic in his response. Michelangelo and Leonardo didn't have to say anything, but the unspoken threats in their eyes made their message perfectly clear.

"I vote we smash this ass-hat's face in and break his fingers. Like to see him make that damn call then," snarled the red-clad brother.

Ken laughed, a loud, mocking laugh. "Oh, you're priceless. But I am no longer amused." His face took on a dark, threatening appearance. "I'll keep my end of the bargain as long as you agree to it," he motioned towards me. "I'll burn every copy of every picture and piece of footage. But you have five seconds to answer."

There was no question of what I was going to do. These four brothers and their father had grown so near and dear to my heart were my family, and I cared deeply about all of them. And Donatello… I stared into his eyes for just a few brief seconds, and rested my hands on either side of his face, his hands reaching up to cover mine. His eyes were asking what he already had with words, a silent plead, as close to begging as he would ever come, and I appreciated it more than I could say. But the thought of him, of any of them, but especially him, trapped in some lab, a science experiment behind bars… I almost wanted to cry because of it. And so, gazing into my turtle's eyes, I said "Yes, Ken," without hesitation, praying that my own eyes were conveying all my own feelings to Donatello just as his were.

Immediately, his face fell, betrayal and disappointment etching itself into his features. I couldn't say a word before Ken dragged me away by the arm and said mockingly, "You boys heard her. Get lost." And with that he lowered his face to mine, pressing his lips against my own and shoving his tongue into my mouth. I almost gagged but managed to pull back. Ken let me get away with this as he began to bite down the side of my neck.

"Guys, get out of here," I told them. I couldn't look them in the eyes, staring at the ground instead. They protested, Donatello being the loudest until Ken pulled his gun up and aimed it at one of their heads. I didn't think, I just acted by dragging his face back to mine and kissing him hard to distract him. He gave an appreciative growl and kissed me back. I shoved down my revulsion and motioned my hand at the boys to go away. Ken started pulling at my shirt, ignoring our audience and the turtles were about to turn on him when I cried out, "Please, just LEAVE!" When Ken pressed his tongue and mouth against the pulse on my neck, my breath hitched and I let him put his arms under my legs and pick me up as I wrapped my legs around him instinctively. When I opened my eyes to see if the boys had gone, all I saw was Donatello give me on last heart-wrenching look before Leo, who also sent a regretful glance in my direction, pulled him gently out the window. As Donatello crawled through and disappeared into the darkness with the others, I buried my face in the crook of Ken's neck and let my tears fall. The last thing I heard was the sound of my bedroom door slamming behind us and the click of the light switch turning off before I was tossed onto the bed.

As Ken began to pull of my clothes, I kept my eyes tightly shut and tried to force down the bile I could feel rising up in my throat, along with a healthy dose of self loathing. I let my eyes open to see Ken leaning over me, shirtless, and resignedly thought that it was going to be a long night before he kissed me again, this time his lips surprisingly gentle. I slowly twined my arms around his shoulders and decided that if I was going to do this, I might as well get what I could out of it. Although I knew in the morning I would hate myself, I had no desire to go through a rape. Ken was pleasantly surprised and gave an approving groan as I ran my hands along his chest down to his belt and my last intelligent thought that night was a prayer that somehow the boys would understand… and that, most importantly, Donatello would be able to forgive me.

* * *

><p><em>*If you don't know what a facehugger is, it's from the Alien franchise and it basically shoves something down your throat so a man-eating monster will incubate in your stomach and when it's ready it eats its way out of you. Lovely.<em>

DRAMAAAAAAAA!

OMG, can I just say how pumped I was about writing this chapter? I know y'all probably hated it because of what happened, but it was just exciting to write. I mean, really exciting. I have to say though, I'm not sure I got the inner turmoil of our favorite couple completely right in this particular part. But it was hard to get down everything they'd be feeling I think. I did my best, though. Hopefully it was enough.

I realize that it might seem out of character for the guys to just leave Irma the way they did, HOWEVER, in a situation like that, most likely that's how it would have played out, in my own opinion. They wouldn't kill Ken (at this point) because that's not what they do, and they'd probably realize that Ken wasn't bluffing when it came to the evidence. If they beat him up, he'd definitely put his pictures in newspapers and magazines. If Irma slept with him, there was a chance that he wouldn't. Leo would, in all likelihood, bow to Irma's request that they leave, and Mikey would have gone with him. Raph would have had to be dragged out, and poor Donny would be too stunned and heartbroken to do anything. The turtles (not to mention Irma) are put in a "between a rock and a hard place" in this chapter. That's what makes the world go 'round.

I really, really appreciate your support and reviews. Especially the reviews. Reviews, reviews…


	20. Chapter Twenty

Well, peoples… Here we go. The confrontation chapter between Donatello and Irma. We shall have to see what new developments appear here.

Special Thanks to Colonel Pop and GoodSmileGirl! Y'all are terrific and I love you to death! Thanks for sticking with me!

Only a few more chapters after this until we're done. Ooooh… So exciting! Sit back and enjoy!

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><p><strong>Chapter Twenty<strong>

I woke up early the next morning, as the sun was rising. My clothes were strewn about the room, as were Ken's. He was still asleep, lying beside me. I shut my eyes tightly and pulled a pillow over my face. I had spent the night with my arch-enemy in exchange for my boyfriend's safety, and his family's. I had willingly had sex with him, more than once.

The worst part was that it was good. _Really good_.

As much as it shamed me, Ken was a skilled lover, and although I allowed him into my bed unwillingly, he didn't have any desire to cause me pain or discomfort. He _liked _giving me pleasure, because he knew that every moan and gasp meant more guilt and self-depreciation on my part. If he had been awful, if he had hurt me, maybe I would have felt better about it, more clean. I would have been able to say completely honestly that I hated every moment and I did it just for my friends, but knowing that I had not only enjoyed it, but encouraged him… that was unforgivable.

There was a rustle beside me, and in the morning shadows I could see Ken roll over to his side and wrap his arm around me, pulling me under him. "Night isn't over until the sun rises," he murmured into my hair, and, mercifully almost, distracted me for the next hour or so and brought about blessed sleep after that.

* * *

><p>He was gone when I next awoke. His clothes had been picked up off the floor and the space beside me was empty. I sat up and looked around, straining to hear any sound of another person in my home, but there was none. I looked at the alarm clock sitting on the bedside table next to me. It said 8:49, and beside that was a note. I picked up my glasses and put them on before taking the note and reading it.<p>

_I'd never mixed business and pleasure together before, but I have to say you were a most delightful exception. You kept up your end of the bargain wholly and completely, and I'm more than happy to uphold mine. Your little green friends will be left alone. I'll have to find something else to blackmail you with you get you back in bed with me next time._

_Until then,_

_Ken_

I slammed the note back onto my bedside table, pulled my glasses off and tossed them to the side, and rolled up into my bed, crying my heart out.

* * *

><p>April came to my apartment about half an hour after that. I was still in bed with no clothes, but I had my sheets pulled up enough for modesty's sake. She had a spare key and opened the door to my apartment calling out my name worriedly. I didn't answer her, but she could hear my weeping and rushed into my room to find me in my pitiful state.<p>

"Oh, Irma," she said softly, and she sat on the edge of my bed and rested a hand on her shoulder. "Oh, Irma, I… I… I don't know what to say that could make this better."

I didn't respond and kept sniffling. April reached over and picked up the note that Ken had left. Casey came in while she was reading, and rushed into the room.

"Irms," he said, "Irms, you alright? You okay?"

I rolled over in response, my shoulders shaking. I heard April take a sharp breath and Casey say, "Gimme that." There was nothing for a minute, and then he swore. "Fucking asshole," he snarled.

April continued to rub my shoulders comfortingly while Casey proceeded to walk around my bedroom swearing and promising numerous tortures on Ken should he find him. He then went into my living room to see if he had left anything else, but I think it was more so that he wouldn't destroy something in front of me.

"Irma," April said softly, and then hesitated before trying again. "Did he… did he hurt you badly?"

"No," I responded dully. "He was fantastic."

No response for a minute. "Fantastic?"

"Yep," I replied. "One of the best I've ever had. It was the worst night of my life."

"Casey, take every bottle of alcohol in this apartment and throw it away!" April shouted at her boyfriend, who was prowling the kitchen. Then she turned back to me. "Irma, why did you do it? You can't be sure he'll keep his word, and none of the guys wanted you to."

"Which one of them called you?" I asked.

She hesitated briefly. "It was Leo," she finally admitted. "He called me up and explained the situation this morning."

"Irms, can you, y'know, put some clothes on so I can talk with you guys?" Casey said from the living room.

A few minutes later, the three of us were sitting on my couch and armchair, and I was cradling a cup of coffee in my hands, watching the steam rise from the cup in swirls.

"He didn't hurt me," I said again. "He was… very considerate."

"That's something, I guess," April said.

"It could be worse," Casey imputed helpfully. "I mean, I know this ain't the, uh, best of circumstances, but it could have been real bad."

"I don't even want to know what the guys think of me now," I said miserably, and took a swig of my coffee. It was woefully lacking in vodka.

"They're just worried. You should go see them, let them know you're okay." April watched me with concerned eyes.

"They were really freaked out," Casey joined in softly. "They'd really appreciate it."

With a nod, I agreed to go with them to see the turtles and Master Splinter. I felt sick, like any second I was going to throw up everywhere. The thought of seeing Donatello after what had happened that night… it made me physically ill. But it had to be done. I had to talk to him, to explain why I had done it, to tell him it meant nothing to me and I had done it only to save him because I… because I…

Immediately clamping down on my emotions, I finished off my coffee and took the mug to the kitchen sink. I would admit nothing, would not allow myself to admit anything. It was too dangerous and painful, too risky.

The three of us headed out shortly afterwards, walking a few blocks before ducking into an alleyway and crawling into the sewers. It took us only a few seconds to orient ourselves in the labyrinth of tunnels, and we headed on our way. None of us said anything, except to give the occasional warning to watch our steps or to say if something was slippery. In my mind, I was reciting the things I would say to everything I could imagine the boys saying to me. It was all bad things.

Finally, we found ourselves in front of the entrance to the Lair. I froze, staring at the familiar markings on the wall, noting the way the light from the lamps in the next room played along under the door that was so carefully concealed from the outside world. Would I be welcome, I wondered, after what had just occurred? Would this be my last time to set foot in there? Would I be rejected, treated as a pariah, like Hester Prynne from The Scarlet Letter?

Sensing my hesitation, April held her hand out to me, a soft smile on her face and reassuring affection in her eyes. I did my best to muster up a grin for her, and placed my hand in hers. She gave my fingers a squeeze and then pulled me through the door that Casey held open for us both. We dropped each other's hands as we stepped into the light, and I looked around the gigantic main room of the Lair, trying to memorize how it looked in case I never saw it again. April and Casey stepped further into the Lair, towards the sound of footsteps coming into the room. I hung back as Michelangelo came out and greeted his two friends, giving April a hug and thumping Casey on the shoulder. I bit my lip and stared at my feet before I heard him gasp out "_Irma!_"

The next thing I knew, his arms were wrapped tightly around me, my chest pressed almost painfully into his plastron. I stood there in complete shock for a second, and then wrapped my own arms around him as tightly as I could, pressing my face into his shoulder, doing my best to keep the tears pricking at the corners of my eyes from leaking out. We pulled back momentarily and he tilted my face up to him, a sweet smile on his face. "You okay, Irms?" he asked me softly, eyes moving over my face for any sign of abuse.

I gave him what I hoped was a cocky grin. "I'm fine, Mikey. Really." He didn't look as though he quite believed me. "Please believe me," I told him. "Ken didn't do any permanent damage to me." _I hope._

"Okay," he said finally, doubt still in his voice. He didn't push though. "You should probably talk to the others. They were really worried too. Specially Don."

"Yeah." I steeled myself for what was ahead. "Do you know where they are?"

"Leo's in the training room, Raph's in his room, Don's in the lab, Master Splinter's in his room too." He looked apologetic. "We… told him what happened. We just came in looking so upset and… well… he was worried and-"

I placed my hand on his arm. "It's okay, Mike. Don't worry about it. I'm gonna go talk to everyone, kay?"

"Yeah. Yeah, sure. I'll just… talk to the guys." He gestured over to April and Casey, and I nodded before walking in the direction of Leo. I figured he was usually the calmest; hoping for the best, for a welcome like Michelangelo's, I slowly pushed open the door to the training room. Leonardo was sitting in the middle of the room, facing away from me, his body in his mediation pose. I closed the door behind me and waited. When he made no movement towards me, I walked over to him and lightly tapped my fingers against the back of his shell. He spun around, eyes widening when he saw me standing there, and instantly jumped up.

"Irma! You're here! Are you alright? Did he hurt you? Did he… did…" he couldn't finish his sentence and just swallowed, not being able to say what he wanted to for fear of hurting me further. I patted his arm.

"I'll survive, Leo. He didn't hurt me." Physically, at least.

"Irma, I… Thank you."

I blinked. "What for?"

He placed a hand gently on my shoulder. "For what you did. I didn't, I don't, agree with it, but I know you did what you felt you had to. I know you did it to protect us. That means a great deal to my brothers and I. It means… It just means a lot to us."

There was really nothing that I could say to that. I swallowed and looked down. "I know you don't approve," I said, "but thanks."

He gave me a hug. "You're certain you're alright?"

"No," I told him. "Not now. Maybe not for a while. But I'll get better. I've been through worse."

"I don't think that's necessarily a good thing."

"In this case, maybe it is." I gave him another hug and then went to see Raph.

* * *

><p>I know I said I went to see Raph, but what really happened was I stood outside the door to his roomboxcar for about ten minutes, trying to work up the courage to go in there. Heavy metal music was pouring from the door, a sure sign that I had learned meant he was very, very unhappy. Needless to say, I was terrified.

"Okay, Irma," I said to myself, "just get psyched. Just say 'Hey, Raph.' Just do it." Then I made a face. "Actually that sounds stupid." I turned my back to the door and took a deep breath. "I'll just go up to the door and knock. I'll just knock, and when he opens it I'll say… I'll just… I'll just say…"

"You'll say what?" The thick Brooklyn accent came from behind me, the words thick with a deep anger than never seemed to leave his voice. I cringed and slowly turned around, wincing as though bracing myself for a blow. Raphael was framed in his doorway, his considerable bulk of muscle and shell accentuated by the light he was blocking. It made him look menacing, and the expression on his face wasn't any better. "You'll say _what_, Irma?" he snarled at me again.

"Uh… H… H… Hi," I managed to choke out.

Suddenly I was slammed against the side of the boxcar, my arms trapped in a painfully tight grip, Raph's face just bare inches away from mine. His expression was… indefinable. It was a plethora of emotions, rage, fury, sorrow, guilt, and others that I couldn't properly define.

"Hi?" he spat at me. "That's it? That's all you can say? You let a guy blackmail you into sex and you just say hi?"

A stirring of anger came into the mix of my misery. "What do you want me to say, Raph?" I snapped at him. "That it was degrading? That I felt awful about it? That the fact that he made it pleasurable and got me to the point where I was begging for him makes me sick just thinking about it? Well, it does. There, are you happy?"

He pulled a fist back from my arm and punched the metal next to my head. My eyes widened and I shrunk back against the boxcar. For some reason my sudden fear of him caused him to reel back like I had struck him, and the resentment he had seemed to feel faded away to be replaced by a look of sheer self-deprecation. "Why?"

I blinked, surprised at his sudden change in demeanor. "Why what?"

"Why'd you do it, Irma?" he whispered. "I coulda handled bein' shot at, being hurt, and maybe I'll go ta hell for saying this, but I coulda managed to handle you bein' attacked. But you just… you just gave in."

"What do you want me to say? That I regret it?"

He shook his head, not looking me in the eye. "I couldn't protect you. I couldn't… no, I _didn't_ protect you. An' that makes it even worse. I just… I…" I leaned forwards towards him slightly, reaching out to put a hand on his shoulder in an attempt to calm him, to show him that I really was going to be fine. He moved so quickly then; his hands went back to either side of my head and he was leaning into me and then he was kissing me.

It was a fierce kiss, almost overpowering, a desperate, silent demand of something that he didn't fully understand. I was too shocked to pull away or push him back. I couldn't respond to him; I didn't even really try. I didn't try to fight him, just waited for him to pull away, and he did after a few seconds to stare at my expression for some sign of what I was feeling. Whatever it was didn't satisfy him because he gave a bitter laugh and stood back, rubbing a hand over his face. "God fucking damn it," he said with a hollow chuckle. "Damn it all to hell." He swung around to me. "Go ahead, say somthin'. Tell me I was out of line. I know I was. Couldn't help it. Been wantin' to do that for… god, don't even know how long."

"Why," I stopped and cleared my throat. "Why didn't you say something earlier?"

"Could tell you weren't interested in me that way. You an' Don were… I could tell I didn't have a shot."

"How could you tell that?"

He gave a small grin. "I act all badass but I notice things like that. He was crazy about you. Still is." He voice grew softer and he looked at the floor again. "I didn't wanna… didn't wanna come between that. The guy needs some happiness."

"Oh, Raph," I said, placing my hand on his arm. "You deserve it too, you know you do."

"Yeah," he replied. "But I wanted it with you, an' you never really looked at me like that. Aw, don't get all weepy on me," he said, referring to the small tear I had just brushed away from my eye. "I want you happy, Irms, no matter who you're with." Reaching over, he took my hand in his. "I couldn't stand you just lettin' that rat bastard get away with what he did, but I knew I couldn't do anything either. It was just a fucked up situation."

"Yeah," I grinned a little. "Yeah, it really was."

"I'll kill him, Irma." Raphael's face became dead serious, and a gleam came back into his eyes, the kind that a hunter gets when he sees a target within his range. "If Donny doesn't get him first, if he doesn't kill him, I'll go after him and I will. I'll kill him for doing what he did to you, for makin' you do that with him. An' don't worry," he said. "I know I don't do nothin' for you, and I'm not mad at you for that. I ain't everyone's cup a' sunshine."

"Oh, Raphael," I said softly. "I think you're wonderful. And I do love you, very much, just not in that way."

"Yeah. I know. 's not for me. But," he told me, "if Don ever hurts you, I'll kick his ass to Mexico."

"What if I hurt him?" I asked.

He gave me a long, even look. For once, I didn't shrink away from the gaze of one of the ninjas, and I wasn't sure if that was good or bad. Finally he said "Go talk to him, Irms. You guys need to get things right."

I nodded. I was about to walk away, but I wrapped my arms around Raph's back, knowing that he didn't return my hug because it was too hard for him to do so. "You're going to get a girl, Raph, and she's going to make you forget all about me because she'll be perfect."

"Hope not," he said quietly. "That'd be freakin' boring."

I said nothing back, just turned and walked back through the passageway towards Don's lab.

* * *

><p>Master Splinter was waiting for me at the end of the hallway. "Irma."<p>

"Master Splinter."

"My sons tell me you made a difficult decision last night."

He was questioning me without words, testing me without a real challenge presented. He wanted to know why I did it. I didn't shy away from him, and held his gaze with my own. It was ten times more intimidating than Raphael could ever hope to be. Only Leo could be as good as him, and he still needed a good ten years. I was not hesitant in my response. "I told you, Master Splinter, that I would do anything to keep him safe."

"Indeed you did." He sighed tiredly. "I am grateful for your sacrifice, my dear, but beware the consequences of your actions."

"I'll deal with it," I told him gently. "I'm prepared."

"Are you?" he asked me. "We shall see." But he stepped aside so I could pass. "My son will not seek you out. He can be more stubborn than all his brothers at the same time when he wishes." He didn't have to say who he was talking about. I already knew.

"Thank you, Master Splinter." I began to walk past him when he stopped me by calling my name.

"Irma, no matter what happens, you will always be welcome here."

There was nothing I could say to this, except what I did. "Thank you, Master Splinter. Thank you very much."

The elderly wise man smiled gently at me. "Go on, child. Words that are kept bottled up will turn to poison if left unsaid for too long."

"Yes, sir." And with that, I went forward to find the person that, until that moment, I had been afraid of finding. Now I wanted, no, _needed_ to talk to him, to try to see if the damage was irreparable or if we could move past it, if it could be worked out. Although I was trying to steel myself for all possibilities, I felt like my heart was on the edge of a precipice, and what would occur in the next few minutes would determine whether or not it would jump.

* * *

><p>I found him in his lab, just as Michelangelo had said I would, typing away on his computer. He had to have known I was there. He was aware of everything that happened in that room. Before, when I had come down into the Lair, I would walk up behind him, interrupt his work and make him pay attention to me, rather like a cat when it jumps up on a person's newspaper while it's being read. This time, though, I simply stood a few feet back from the chair he sat in and waited until he stopped or paused. He didn't though, not for a few minutes until I said firmly "Donatello Hamato, I am not leaving until we talk."<p>

His fingers didn't stop their movement for even half a second. "Talk about what?" he asked without looking at me.

"About what happened last night, Don. We need to talk about it."

"I don't think there's anything to talk about. You made a choice that I adamantly disagreed with and subsequently caused me a great amount of emotional distress."

"I know I did, Don," I said quietly. "And I'm sorry."

"You know what I don't get?" He twirled around in his seat and I saw the angry set of his jaw, the unforgiving expression of his features. "What I don't get is how you can just walk in here and talk like I'm throwing a fit about you fucking a guy who threatened your life twice."

My jaw dropped in shock. I had never heard him use that language in the entire time I had ever known him, and he had certainly never addressed me with such cold fury before. "_Excuse me_? Talk to you like you're throwing a fit? I just want to talk to you."

"Alright. Talk to me. Talk to me about what you did." His voice took on a cold, mocking tone. "Did you have fun? Did you enjoy yourself?"

"Donatello!"

"I bet you did. I bet you had a great time, and you didn't think about me once."

"That's not true! What's wrong with you?!"

"What's wrong with me," he said loudly, standing up, "is that my girlfriend willingly had sex with a man who blackmailed us."

"I didn't willingly have sex with him!" I said angrily. "I did it to save you!"

"So he raped you? You didn't encourage him at all? Tell me you didn't." Donatello came and stood directly in front of me, and there was more than anger. There was a deep hurt, a look of betrayal and heartache. "Tell me you didn't, Irma," he said, and his voice was pleading now. "Please, tell me you didn't. Tell me you knocked him unconscious and tossed him out the window. Tell me you hated every second of it. Tell me you… I…" He stopped and I saw his shoulders shaking.

"Don!" I reached out to him, to wrap my arms around him, but he pulled away, holding a hand up as if to ward me off. "Don, please!"

"How could you _do _that, Irma?" he cried out. "You just kicked us out and went with him like it was nothing to you!"

"It wasn't 'nothing'!" I shouted. "It was awful! I hated myself for doing it, but it was the only way to save you, to save all of you!"

"How do you know that?! He could have been lying!"

"But what if he wasn't?! How could we take that chance?"

"WE didn't take that chance! YOU decided to take matters into your own hands, probably literally!"

"I am not a ninja, Donatello Hamato," I spat at him. "I'm not a warrior or a brilliant tactician, but I know when to admit defeat."

"How do you go from admitting defeat to having SEX?! You just let him use you!"

"Why are you acting like this?!" I shouted at him. "I did it to save _you!_"

"_You slept with him!_"

"It's all I could do!"

"You were his _whore_!"

I didn't know that my hand was sailing towards his face until I heard the_ SLAP_ of my palm against his skin. We both stood there in silence for a few seconds as the red handprint began to glow on his cheek. I spoke first, in a fierce whisper, my anger evident on my face.

"I did what I had to, and I would do it again. I saved you, and your brothers and your father, and I don't regret it. I care too much about you to risk losing you like that."

He stared at me and then spoke as furiously as I had. "You allowed yourself to be used like a common prostitute. You say you have no skills, but that's not true, and you didn't even try to find another way. You keep limiting yourself to where you think all you're good at is sex, and that's a lie and you know it, but if you see yourself as a whore, that's all anyone else is going to see you as too. And right now, you're living up to it pretty well."

I didn't bother slapping him this time. I flew at his face screaming, feeling like he had just sucker punched me in the gut. I don't know what I was saying to him, but one second I was going for his eyes, and the next, I found myself shoved up against the wall for the second time that day. Donatello held me there with one arm, an astonished look on his face, as though he hadn't thought that I would go after him for saying that about me. I noticed with no small amount of satisfaction that I had managed to rake my nails across the side of his face that I hadn't slapped, so he now sported a large red mark on one side that I knew would turn into a bruise, and several scratches on the other.

"Let me go," I said, keeping my voice in a dead calm.

"You'll come at me again."

"I won't. Let me go."

He hesitated, but then pulled back, keeping an eye on me as he did so. I took a moment to straighten myself up and then turned to leave. "Where're you going?" he asked.

"I'm leaving, since that's what you seem to want anyway."

"That's not what I said."

"That's what you meant."

"No it isn't!" he argued. "I never said to leave, I said-"

I swung around and looked him full in the face. "Look me in the eye, right now, and tell me with complete honesty that you want me to stay, that you don't want me to go, that last night will have no impact on your long term feelings for me because you care enough to try to work around it, because I am still the same to you."

Donatello opened his mouth as though to say something, but nothing came out. He closed it after a moment and looked as though he was struggling to come up with the words that I knew he wouldn't say.

"I thought so," I said. "I'm not Irma Langinstein to you anymore. Now, to you, I'm just Ken's Whore." I walked away from him, down the hall, calling back "Goodbye, Donatello," as I went. I didn't cry as I left the Lair. I wished Michelangelo a good day and told him that they were still welcome to come and visit whenever they liked and I told April and Casey I'd call them sometime. I didn't answer any of the questions they had for me as I left, and simply walked through the sewers and back to my apartment. I locked all the doors and all the windows, drawing the blinds and curtains, and then stood at the door to my bedroom for a very long time, staring at the mattress where I had slept with Donatello and allowed Ken to use me. I could set it on fire, but then I'd have to buy a new mattress, which I didn't have the money for. I could sleep on the sofa, but then I'd get into the habit of that, and I was going to have to sell it soon. Finally, I went to the bed, pulled the sheets off, and, with no small effort on my part, flipped the mattress over and laid down on the 'clean' side.

I don't remember crying, nor do I remember getting a bottle of bourbon that Casey had missed from my cabinets. But the next morning, I had tear marks all across my cheeks and a half-empty bottle of booze next to my bed, along with a picture of myself that I had ripped into tiny pieces.

* * *

><p>Well, there you have it. It's really starting to wind down now. I know this chapter is super depressing and stuff, but I promise things will get better… Um… kind of.<p>

In any case, I hope I wrote this chapter well enough to convey the feelings and emotions in there. I know the Raph/Irma thing is something of a weird concept for some, but if I decide to do a sequel, it'll definitely come into play there. Also, I thought Raph probably really would like Irma. She argues with him, has spunk, and likes to use guns. What's not to love?

I really appreciate everyone's comments and reviews, and I hope you enjoyed this chapter enough to leave me a few more! Thanks very much in advance for the support and encouragement.


	21. Chapter Twenty One

Well, folks. We've come a long way, but we've still got a little ways to go. If you can hang in there just a little bit longer, I promise you all you won't regret it. Hopefully. I'm so excited I managed to get Irma added to the character list! Now I can make a whole bunch of fics with her and put them under her name instead of having to scour the site for things with her in it.

Oodles and oodles of thanks to my ever wonderful and fantastic beta readers, Colonel Pop and GoodSmileGirl! I love you two to death! You're terrific!

I don't own TMNT in any way, shape or form. Don't sue.

* * *

><p><strong>Chapter Twenty One<strong>**  
><strong>

No one came after me that day to ask what was wrong. I guess they were all too surprised to do anything, or didn't want to get in between a lover's spat. I was grateful, to be honest. I didn't want to talk about it, and certainly didn't want to relive it.

The day after that, however, April came over to try to talk to me about it. I staunchly refused, saying only that we had broken up due to irreconcilable opinions on things. She wheedled and cajoled, but I kept my mouth shut on the subject. Casey came over later and tried to convince me that I should talk to Don again, but I made it very clear to him that I had no interest whatsoever with debasing myself. I wasn't proud of what I had done; God knew I had incurred my share of trauma from it. But I didn't regret doing it at all. Nothing had shown up about the boys in the media and I was certain it was because Ken kept his end of the bargain. As far as I was concerned, as long as the guys were fine, I could live with my choice. That wasn't to say I was at peace with it at all. I spent a good deal of time wondering if I had made the right choice and if I should have done something different, but I knew that even as the concern about whether Ken had destroyed the evidence of the turtles was valid, he would definitely have made good on his threat if I hadn't done it.

The other three brothers made it clear that I was still their friend, and even Raphael, who had confessed his feelings to me before, kept things very calm and not at all awkward between us. They said nothing about Donatello, which I was fine with, because even the mention of his name made my heart ache. I had gone through some rough break-ups before, but this one was just awful. I did my best to keep my mind off the problem by continuing to search for a job, but still, I had no luck in that department. I was starting to get a bit desperate. I sold my TV set and most of my books (which made me even more miserable) and was starting to consider selling my jewelry as well.

"_Why don't you come live with me?"_ my sister offered one day as I spoke to her on the phone. _"I've got plenty of room."_

"I dunno, I really like it here," I told her as I spread peanut butter onto one of my few remaining slices of bread. "I'd rather not leave unless I really had to."

"_Understandable,"_ she said. There was a brief moment of silence and then she said _"I think Johnny might be about to propose."_

I set down my knife and phone down and went to my cupboard where I kept the few remaining sweets, and pulled out a bag of chocolate chips.

"_Irma? You there?"_

"Yep. I'm here." _And lamenting that these aren't filled with vodka._ "Is him proposing a problem?" I asked as I poured the chocolate bits on the peanut butter and then folded the piece of bread in half, taking a bite.

"_Well, no, not per se… I'm just nervous I guess."_

"What about?"

"_Oh, you know, this is my first real relationship so I'm fairly inexperienced in these kinds of things."_

Thinking back very briefly on my own relationship history, I told her in a deadpan voice "Trust me, Velma. You've got a solid gold track record. You're doing great."

"_Thanks… So how're things with you?"_

"Oh, you know, still on the job hunt."

"_Seeing anyone?"_

I had a quick memory flash to me standing over Don while he was at the computer, and he was looking up at me with a huge smile on his face. "No," I managed to choke out. "No, I'm not."

* * *

><p>Despite my lack of progress in finding stable employment, I refused to give up. I would go out at least six days a week looking for any "Help Wanted" signs, but to my chagrin there was nothing. It seemed I was a sucker for punishment though; I woke up one morning and stared at the clock on my bedside table and seriously considered becoming a female bounty hunter, like the heroine Stephanie Plum. Problem was, I was twice as inept as she was and had a distinct lack of policeman boyfriend. Nevertheless, I got myself to my feet, pulled some clothes on, and went out.<p>

Mostly I just walked around that morning, trying to stay motivated and positive about things. I didn't have any real success. I finally decided around noon to pack it in and just head home to get my laptop so I could sell it. Nothing really held my attention as I walked back to my apartment. My mind was swimming with different scenarios and ideas for how to get out of the rut I was in, but a lot of them involved theft of some kind.

As I was contemplating whether or not I would look good in a Catwoman type outfit, I rounded the corner to the street that my apartment was on… and found that in front of it sat three fire trucks, four police squad cars, and a huge crowd of people. I looked up and saw, without any real surprise, that my apartment had been firebombed. Smoke was pouring out of every window and I could see the firemen trying to suppress the flames licking along the side of the building.

My first thought was _Oh, for god's sake, why me?_ and my second was _Oh, crap, they're probably scouring the crowd for me._

The problem was that I had no interest in getting involved with a police investigation. I knew that the chances of Ken being behind the attack were up in the ninety percent range, and that he wouldn't be caught any time soon. Talking to the police about it would yield no beneficial results for me, and instead most likely make me a target for Ken. I had already interacted with him more than I wanted; there was no way I was going to do something to get him involved with me again.

Turning around, I walked as nonchalantly as possible away from the scene of chaos, running my options through my mind. I had two choices if I disregarded going to the police and asking for protection: One, I could go to April and Casey. This was quickly thrown out thought. If they knew where I lived, they would surely know where my two friends were. I didn't want to put them in any more danger than I already had. I was fairly certain that the attacks were aimed directly at me. Bringing those two into the mix would only exasperate things.

And so, I was left with the second choice- hiding out in the Lair.

Needless to say, this conclusion caused me no small amount of inner turmoil. I needed someplace to stay, someplace safe; family and friends were just not a viable solution. And while the Hamato's _were _my friends, they were effectively invisible to the outside world. Only three people, including myself, were aware of their existence (or at least, aware and not trying to actively kill them). I would be safe there. The fact that I would have to come into contact with Donatello on a daily, perhaps hourly basis would just have to be dealt with.

Having reached my decision, I began to make my through the streets, looking for one that was fairly uncongested with pedestrian traffic. The less people who saw me go into an alleyway to crawl into a sewer, the better. I finally found one after about fifteen minutes and proceeded to climb down the ladder to the sewer system as carefully and quietly as I could. It wasn't too difficult to find my way to the Lair from there. The guys had made sure that I was able to navigate through the myriad of systems easily enough on my own, so it wasn't too intimidating. It still took a little while to get to the Lair, though.

Finally, I arrived and opened the door. "Guys!" I called out. "Master Splinter! Hey! It's Irma! Look, I know this is short notice and all, but I've got a really big problem on my hands and I…" It was at that point that I noticed almost all the lights were out in the Lair. "Where's the switch in here…"

Suddenly the lights flickered on. I gave a small scream of surprise and jumped back.

"Hello, Irma," came a very familiar, very suave, and very disliked voice. "How have you been?"

Ken sat on the massive couch that was usually occupied by both Raphael and Michelangelo, and all along the back and the sides were ninjas wearing the same uniform I had seen that night April and I had been attacked in the hospital. Their arms were crossed and various weaponry were on their persons.

I stared at all of them for a moment before I asked "Where're the guys?"

"They're here," Ken replied, and another light flickered on to reveal all four brothers on their knees, their hands tied behind their backs and their mouths gagged to prevent any attempt at escape. I gave a small cry of distress and began to run towards them until a ninja guarding one of them put a knife to Leo's throat, and I froze. "Let them go! Where's Master Splinter?" I demanded and asked, twirling around back to Ken. He smiled calmly. "The old rat is fine. He's lying in his room knocked out. These four," and here he pointed at the boys, "were the real challenge."

"How'd you even find this place? I know I wasn't followed!"

"See, that's the wonderful thing about tracking devices, Irma. You don't need to follow someone for them to work."

I paled. "What tracking device?"

"The one I planted in your purse the night we slept together, honey."

I instantly pulled my purse off my shoulder and emptied it onto the floor. "Where is it?!" I began stomping on everything that had fallen out.

"Don't bother," Ken told me in a bored tone. "It's already accomplished what I meant it to. Destroying it now would be pointless."

"Fuck you!" I spat at him. "Why are you doing this to me anyway? What've I ever done to you?"

"You? Nothing. Your friends? Everything. Although," he lounged back, his eyes narrowing at me. "you did lie to me the other night."

"What about?"

"You said you didn't have the box." My face must have betrayed what I was thinking because he gave me a very unpleasant grin and stood up to motion two of his subordinates forwards, both carrying the Box. "I found this in the purple one's lab. Now how, I wonder, did it get down there?"

I said nothing but sank down to the floor. "Leave them alone, Ken. I'm the one that lied to you."

"I am more than aware of that fact, sweetie." He slowly walked over to me. "Fortunately for you, I've noticed a little something. You," he pointed at me, "have managed to start opening that thing. Now how did you accomplish that?"

But I wasn't about to give up my secrets that easily. "What's in it?"

He frowned and straightened up. "You're hardly in a position to be asking things like that, Irma."

"Indulge me," I said, desperate to get any amount of time so that I could try to think of an escape. "You used to work for Karai, didn't you?"

"Oh, yes, I forgot that'd you'd had your own interactions with her."

I could hear the muffled sounds of surprise and anger from the turtles, still restrained, and for once I was glad that they were unable to get to me. "They were hardly interactions. More like quasi-kidnapping and mild threatening."

"Don't insult me, Irma, I know she gave you the information you needed to find the box."

"She only told me that to keep it away from someone that I think I can safely assume is you!" I shot back at him.

He sighed. "It's a shame, really. The two of us could have accomplished so much more had we worked together. But no, no, she wouldn't have anything to do with my plans."

"What's in the box?" I asked again. "What is all of this about?"

He said nothing, but scanned my face with his eyes looking for something. Finally he shrugged. "Why not? It's a lot less interesting than I'm sure you think it is." He stood up and with a dramatic flair of his hands, rounded on me. "It begins with the death of the Noble Father of a great ninja clan. His adopted daughter, now in control, is distraught and heartbroken. In her desperation, she begins to look for a way to reverse the sad state of her father, and once again take her rightful place as his lowly assistant."

I was fairly certain that had Karai heard him describe her like that, he's quickly be missing some vital anatomy. But he continued.

"She scours through her impressive resources searching for a solution, and stumbles upon something that might help-"

"Seiobo's Peaches," I said.

"Correct. These mythical pieces of fruit are said to either grant immortality to someone living, or return someone dead back to life. She decides to send her most dashing and promising ninja, myself, to find out what I could about it. I manage to find a great deal, but the dashing young ninja sees the errors of his master's ways." Here he stopped pacing and looked up as though seeing something divine, a piece of inspiration like that given to the great painters of old. "Why bring back a failure, whose own ineptitude brought about his death, when we could accomplish so much more as immortals?"

"And I take it that Karai disapproved of this new interest."

"Indeed. She decides that it is perhaps too dangerous after all, and orders the young ninja and his compatriots to cease their search. They do not. So instead, the Dead Leader's Daughter has to resort to measures that she hates- she hires one of her arch enemies to steal the artifact out from under the rouge group."

I was pretty sure I could surmise the next part of the story. "Let me guess, she hired April O'Neil, because she knew that you guys would go after her and draw the ire of the turtles who would stop at nothing to stop you, thus ensuring your defeat and secure the artifact for herself."

"Very good, and all true. This plan seemed to work for a little while. O'Neil was successful at keeping us from our goal, and our attempts to take her out of the picture always seemed to fail."

"But you thought of a new twist to get what you wanted."

"Indeed we did." He smiled at me. "We found you, a woman with a history of bad relationship choices," (I was tempted to jump up and punch his lights out for that) "who was best friends with the woman that we were trying to kill. I figured, if I got close to you, I'd eventually find a way to get rid of that irritating thorn in my side. But of course, things never go according to plan."

"What about the man who killed the older guy in the warehouse?" I asked. "Why did he do that?"

"Oh, him." Ken waved his hand dismissively. "A few of the older members of the clan had shown great interest in my investigation into immortality, and so they loaned me their support. They stole the picture for me because I had discovered what it really was, but instead of handing it over they decided to keep it as blackmail. If I didn't deliver, which they were starting to worry I wasn't, they'd keep the picture for themselves and go from there."

"That doesn't explain why the box was at the warehouse."

He raised an eyebrow at me. "Haven't you guessed? O'Neil succeeded in her quest. She found the Box, brought it back to the US. But at that point, the splitters from my own little group had found out about it, and set the explosion up so they could steal it from her. And now, to make it even more complicated, one of the members of the splitters decided to defect back to Karai, and gave the location of the box to her while keeping it a secret from everyone else."

"And that was the guy that gave me the key," I surmised.

"M-hmm."

"But then who killed him?"

"One of my own. Sadly, his failure to deliver me the correct key had… fatal consequences."

I swallowed, feeling a stab of sympathy for the poor guy. Being at Ken's mercy was not something I would have wished on anyone. "But why try to kill me? What would that have accomplished?"

"I wasn't trying to kill you when I set your college on fire. I was trying to get your defenses up. I knew that at that point, you would either lead us to the box or give us some way to get it. You're far too cautious to keep something like that around."

I didn't bother to say that I had kept the damn thing in my apartment for a good two months after the fire. Instead, I continued to probe him for answers. "If you thought I had it, why didn't you just take the box from me? If you put a tracking device on me, you must have known I was lying when you… came over that night."

He shrugged. "What can I say? You're annoying, but pretty sexy. I'd wanted to get you into bed for a while."

There were sounds of struggle and I looked over to see Raphael straining to launch himself at Ken while Donatello was twisting his wrists in an attempt to loosen his bonds. He was staring at Ken as though he was going to flay him alive with his mind. Ken glanced over at them and gave a smirk. "She's an animal, in case you two were curious."

"I'm going to kill you," I snarled at him.

"What? It's a compliment."

"You still haven't told me what's in the box, asshat."

"Oh, like I'm going to talk to a person who insults me."

My face twisted into a sneer. If he wanted to play like that, then fine. "So what do you want now? Mock me? Show off how fantastic you are to have found this thing?"

"As satisfying as that may be, I'm actually here to offer you another deal."

"I'm not interested," I replied instantly. I didn't even need to consider my response before I gave it.

"Oh, but I think you will be." Ken walked over to the turtles and took a katana from the hands of one of his ninjas. He lifted it in the air and gave a few swings to make sure I was paying attention. When he knew I was, he walked over to Donatello and raised the weapon over the captive turtle's head as though he was about to come down and take Don's head off with it. All of the blood drained from my face as I watched him, and I knew that whatever deal Ken was about to make, it would involve the life of my friends.

"Now, I know that you've worked on that box, Irma," he told me. "I saw how it's been fiddled with, and I know it was you. You're not stupid; I know you could figure it out. And you were one of the only other people to have had access to the painting before it was taken by the police. I saw the pictures on your phone. You used them. Don't try to deny it."

I didn't move from my spot on the floor as he started to walk in front of the four brothers, idly swirling the sword in his hand. "So, my deal is this. You come with me and open up the box, or I will kill your little freak friends here."

I got tunnel vision. Everything started to black out and I visibly swayed where I sat. "You're joking. You must be joking. I don't believe you. You'll kill them anyway."

Ken walked over to me. "Oh, you know that's not true. After all, I kept my end of the last deal we made. Every shred of evidence of them is gone. I destroyed all of it."

"But they've gone up against you," I said. "There's no way you'd let them go. You're just saying this to make me desperate enough to agree."

"I don't need to make you desperate to deal with you. Besides, you made a similar deal with Karai already, didn't you?"

I cringed again and stared at the floor, feeling the stares of four pairs of eyes. Ken continued to push. "Oh, you didn't tell them, did you? You didn't tell them that Karai gave you the info you needed in exchange for you taking the box, and in return she promised not to kill the turtles the next time she fought them?"

"How do you know this?" I whispered, still not looking up.

"I have sources on the inside. I know my stuff."

"You'll still kill them anyway," I said.

"Not so," he argued. "I honestly don't care about your odd little friends here. Sure, they've pissed me off, but they've done a better job at irritating Karai, which always makes me happy. I always keep my word. If you agree to open the box for me, I'll let them live and I won't bother them unless they, of course, come after me, in which case fighting back would just be self defense."

"If you refuse…" he let his voice trail off and stood up again, walking back over to the turtles. He gave a small nod to the four men guarding the turtles, and they all lifted their swords as though they were going to decapitate them at a moment's notice.

"You wouldn't do that," I whispered, but I knew even as I said it that I didn't sound at all convinced on the matter. The truth was I knew he'd do it in a heartbeat, but I just couldn't understand why. I finally managed to lift my eyes up to the brothers who had saved me numerous times, had become my companions, friends, and rescuers. I was terrified of what I'd see in their eyes, but I knew I had to face it. All four of them had varying degrees of shock, betrayal, and a little fear, but in all of them was a firm, unyielding demand that I refuse to submit, that I defy Ken and walk away.

"I'll count to ten," Ken growled. "After that, they're dead and I'll torture you until you open it anyway. ONE."

Leonardo's gaze was even and calm, asking nothing, only showing me with his eyes that he would accept whatever decision I came to.

"TWO."

Michelangelo looked frightened, uncertain, but even as I looked at him, his apprehension was overridden by an obvious concern for me, and for his family.

"THREE."

Raphael conveyed pure fury, even as he was restrained and a hair's breath away from death. Not fury at me, although I was sure that had he been able to speak, he would have had a few choice words about the situation with Karai. It was fury at the circumstances, a deep rage at the position that I had been forced into, that we had all been forced into.

"FOUR."

Donatello… I could hardly bear to turn to him because I was so afraid of what I'd see. His words from before had cut too deeply into my heart for me to just forget about them. I was convinced that I disgusted him, and so what I saw in his eyes confused me and at the same time sparked a tiny kernel of hope. He was looking at me like he wanted nothing more than to pick me up and run off with me to some far corner of the world, as though he wanted to shield me from everything that wanted to hurt me.

"FIVE."

I knew, like the last time, what my answer would be. If I said no, I might be making a point, but they would all be dead, and I knew that even if I didn't break under the torture that I was certain I would undergo, they could always find someone else to figure out how to open the box. If I said yes, they would live to fight another day. They would _live_. They could find a way to stop Ken, I knew, even if he managed to open the box. They deserved to live. They could accomplish so much more than I ever could. I was no heroine, and I knew it, but I could at least try to help them as much as I could.

"SIX."

I was going to say yes, but I knew that I would probably never see any of them again, and I had to, needed to give some explanation for my actions. They had to understand. _Donatello_ had to understand. But how could I say all I wanted to in just a few short words? How could I make him realize, make him see?

"SEVEN."

I got to my knees and crawled to Donatello, taking his face in my hands once I reached him. "It was for you," I whispered fiercely to him. "It was always for you."

Ken made a sound of disgust behind me. "NINE."

"I'll do it," I said loudly, not tearing my eyes away from Donatello's.

"Oh, good," Ken said calmly. "I was hoping you'd say that." He snapped his fingers and said something Japanese, and suddenly I found myself being dragged backwards by my hair. I cried out in pain and clawed at the hand that was pulling me, swearing at Ken and the other ninjas and basically everything in general.

"Irma," Ken said firmly, "I'm going to have to make you shut up now. Your language makes my head hurt." Something hard and heavy hit me on the back of my head and everything went black.

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><p>DUN DUN DUUUUUUUUUUN! CLIFFHANGER!<p>

Things are goin' DOWN now. All kinds 'a crazy thangs are gonna start happenin' up in hur… I don't know why I'm writing like this now. I shall cease this behavior instantly. It is most indecorous.

In any case, I really hope you guys enjoyed the chapter. Let me know where I can improve via reviews. Please. Pretty please. Pretty, pretty please.


	22. Chapter Twenty Two

Alright, guys. Here we go. Just a few more until it's all over. But don't worry. It won't be done THAT soon. Not as much action happens in this chapter as they did in the others, but it's not boring by any means. That said, I hope you enjoy it.

A very, very special thanks to my darling betas, Colonel Pop and GoodSmileGirl.

I don't own TMNT, so if you sue me, I can just show this disclaimer and your case will fall apart. So there.

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><p><strong>Chapter Twenty Two<strong>

So I began this story with saying I was trapped in a cell while shouting at the people who put me there. I found myself in the cell when I woke up after being struck unconscious. Thankfully, I didn't have a headache from the blow, and I seemed unharmed in all other ways.

The first thing I noticed was that I had been placed in a small but fairly comfortable cot in a room with stone walls and no windows. There was an open door that led to a small bathroom that had a shower, a toilet, and a sink in it, but other than the cot the only other pieces of furniture in the room were a small bedside table on which sat my pink glasses and a dresser that I would later learn had my clothes in it. I figured they must have salvaged them from my apartment before they firebombed it to smithereens.

Other than that, there was a light switch by the door which I assumed led out of my cell. It was made out of heavy metal, and even as I stood up to go beat it and demand to be let out, I knew that it would be easy to ignore me since the likelihood of being heard was very small.

I was frustrated, angry, emotionally wrought, and I pounded at the door with my fists until my hands were scratched and bleeding slightly. I didn't cry, didn't allow myself to. I had no idea what time it was, and had no way of knowing when I'd be taken out, or what for. The only thing I could do was wait. And I hated waiting. I spent a few minutes wandering about my cell (it was a cell, not a room; a room would imply that I wasn't a prisoner, which I was) to see if I could find any sort of camera, but luckily, I didn't. I searched under my bed, in every drawer, even in the shower, but I didn't find anything.

After what felt like an hour, but was probably just twenty minutes, I decided to just try to take a nap. But as I laid down on the small cot once more, I found myself swarmed by increasingly depressing thoughts on my ultimate fate.

What _was_ I doing there anyway? Ken said that he wanted me to open that damn box for him, but so far I hadn't seen any sign of being taken out of my room for anything. However, being positive and thinking about the different scenarios that would get me out of here kept me from going crazy. It was entirely possible that I had just signed my life and freedom away forever to Ken and whatever twisted plan he had and that I would never see the light of day again, and despite my hardest efforts to keep from doing so, I couldn't help but wonder what was going out in the real world.

My family would be upset and troubled over my disappearance, but unlikely to think on it overmuch. Most of my relatives had long since decided to keep our relationship strained at best in case they needed a clean break, and my own nuclear family were the ones I was still closest too, if you could call it that. My sister and brother would probably be the most upset about it.

The other librarians might be concerned, but since we no longer worked together, they probably wouldn't think much of it. I had a few other friends littered about New York, but none of them were close enough to me to really feel absolutely crushed if I disappeared. Some of them would probably think I was off in Hawaii taking an impromptu vacation due to stress or something.

Only Casey and April would really know what had happened to me. I realized, with a gut-wrenching twist, that even if I did get out of my current situation (which I admitted to myself was unlikely), they'd probably hate me for doing what I'd done. Making deals with arch-enemies? Lying about it? Possibly getting them killed on multiple occasions and unwittingly leading the enemy right to them? Those were big no-no's.

And then, of course, I started thinking about the turtles and Master Splinter. Were they safe? Were they injured? Did Ken keep his promise and not kill them. I groaned and shoved a pillow over my face. _Think happy thoughts, think happy thoughts, think happy thoughts, think-_

The door to my cell burst open. I sat up as two large, muscled men came in and grabbed my arms, yanking me off the bed. I tried to jerk back, but one of them squeezed my arm to the point where I was gasping in pain. The next time he pulled me forwards, I didn't fight back. I was led out of my room which opened up into a long hallway full of similar metal doors, although mine had the most locks on it, and was drug down the hallway into another one which was whitewashed. We took several turns through similar corridors filled with doors of less security than the one I had been in and then finally we arrived at our destination.

I was pushed through a pair of large double doors into a circular room with a desk, a chair, and an overhead light. On the desk sat the Box, and it made me want to gag just looking at it. It was the wall that had my attention. Pieced together from a large number of pictures was a replica of the painting that I had used to open up the Box as much as I had. I recognized some of the pictures as ones I had taken with my cell phone and realized that they had my purse; they had access to all my stuff, so of course my phone would be included in that. I did a face palm and groaned.

My obvious emotional problems did little to create sympathy with the gorilla guys who had so kindly guided me to the room. One of them shoved me in the shoulder, pushing me forward towards the desk, and I had to grab the edge of it to keep from falling down.

"Now, now, that is no way to treat our guest." I looked up to see my true captor and one-time crush (I decided to plead temporary insanity to this in my mind) waltz in. Ken was wearing a white suit and a confidant smirk that I wanted to wipe off with the aid of my chair. He looked very well put together and in an excellent mood, caused by what I could only assume was the current situation. "Hello, Irma," he said pleasantly.

"Hi, jerkoff," I responded uncharitably.

"I suppose your frustration is understandable given the situation," he said calmly walking towards me. "But I warn you," his voice getting considerably lower and less friendly, "that you should watch your tongue. Just because I like you doesn't mean I have any problem with having my two friends here rough you up. All you need to open this thing with are your hands. That leaves a lot of other parts of you that can still feel pain." I bit back a whimper. He went back to smiling pleasantly. "I see you understand."

He began to walk around the room, talking idly like I was a student in detention and he was explaining the rules to me. "I have no intention of hurting you unless you give me a reason to. You have all the clothes you need for your stay here, and if you behave well and make good progress, I'd be more than happy to give you things to amuse yourself with like books and perhaps a TV. However, if you do not make me happy, I'll stick you in an even smaller room-"

"Cell," I interrupted.

"Strike one," he warned, raising a finger. After a second he continued. "I'll stick you in an even smaller and considerably more uncomfortable room. Your meals will be brought to you three times a day, all in this room to encourage productivity, and if you refuse to come or don't work, I'll revoke your food privileges for a day."

Deciding I didn't want another strike, I raised my hand. "Yes?" he said.

"What if I need to go to the restroom?"

"One of the gentlemen watching you will escort you there. If you take too long they'll drag you out forcibly whether you're decent or not."

"How long is too long?"

He shrugged. "I'd say more than five minutes unless it's an emergency."

"What constitutes as an emergency?"

"Having your nose bashed in for being annoying, which is about to happen to you in five seconds if you don't shut up." I wisely decided not to ask anything else. He continued. "If you make progress in a timely manner and succeed in your ultimate goal, which is to open that box, I will let you go free with enough money to help you start over with a new life in a very, very far away place."

"You won't let me go back?" I asked quietly, trying to ignore how pathetic I sounded.

Ken burst out laughing. "Honey, what in the hell have you got to go back to? Your friends probably hate your guts, and I know for a fact your little green boyfriend does."

I said nothing but stared down at the floor. The man in the white suit shrugged and walked over to me. "Take my advice, sweetie. Work hard, get out, and forget about New York. You'll never step foot back there as long as I live." He leaned forward and said softly in my ear, "And I intend to live for a very long time."

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><p>I tried fighting back once, ignoring Ken's warning about not trying to. I tried to sit there at the desk and not work, studiously disregarding everything that the Gorilla Guys were saying to me, until one of them punched me in the face. I went flying backwards onto the floor, stars appearing behind my eyelids, and I could faintly hear the other one shouting about how he almost wreaked my glasses. Then he pulled me up roughly and set me back down in the chair, warning me to get to work, or next time he'd let his partner go even farther. I couldn't feel the left side of my face as I shakily set to work again.<p>

I didn't know how long I was there; days were counted by the hours I was awake, not by any timepiece or calendar. I wasn't allowed to have one either, and no one gave me a hint as to what the date or time was. I was constantly guarded, except when I was in my room, but no one spoke to me. Sometimes Ken would come in and gloat, subtly mocking me and everything I had done. He shouldn't have bothered. I already knew all my previous actions had been for nothing, and I felt listless and uninterested in everything. I became something of a zombie over time, and I zoned out everything else except the activities I was engaged in. After a while, Ken would get bored and leave and the Gorilla Guys would start bringing a pack of cards to play.

One day while I was working, Ken came in and sent the two guards away. They gladly left the room, talking about what they should grab from the kitchens for lunch as they went.

As I had made a habit of doing, I didn't look up as he entered the room, nor as the two giants left. I could hear Ken slowly walk around the circular chamber, but I was focusing on the box in front of me_. Turn left panel of the willow tree a quarter to the right, slide sideways to that the crane is flying towards it, take the plain panel and-_

"So I've noticed you becoming a walking robot in the last couple of weeks," Ken remarked casually over my left shoulder. My world ground to a halt. _A couple of weeks? How long had I been here? It had to have been longer than that…_ "I feel that I've been a bit remiss in taking care of you. I haven't paid as much attention to you as I should have." He waited for me to say something, but I remained silent. I had stopped working, however, so he knew that I was listening. "I've been thinking about ways to wake you up, so to speak. I've sent books to your room, but I know you haven't looked at those. I doubt you'd be interested in a movie. Obviously I can't give you a phone. I considered moving you to a larger room, but I don't think you'd care about that too much. But then I considered that maybe you'd like it more if you weren't alone."

I did NOT like where he was taking this conversation. I braced myself and slowly looked over at him, suspicion written clearly on my face. He was wearing a black suit today, a sleek red tie and shiny shoes. He looked like he was about to go into a business meeting. Maybe he was. I had no idea. He looked down at me and I stared back up into his face. He didn't look like he had changed much. The man was obviously gearing up to propose something; his face was devoid of any mocking or superior expression. It seemed for all the world as though he was actually going to suggest something that would help me. But I knew him too well to trust him. I thought I had prepared myself for whatever he was going to say, knew all his tricks and what he'd say. But I was wrong.

"Look, babe, I knew we've had a rough patch… so to speak… but I think you'd get through this much easier if you just tried to look at the upside."

"What upside?" I rasped, my voice hoarse from disuse.

He flashed me the same brilliant smile that he'd had the first time we'd met, back when I thought he was charming and sweet. "Well, sweetheart, it's not like I'm being subtle here. We've already seen each other naked. Why don't you just admit that you can't go back and go forward with me? Make the best of your situation." He leaned down towards my ear and whispered softly, "I seem to recall a certain night when you enjoyed your time with me quite a lot. How about we do a repeat and you just come join me in my room? I could show you a much better time than that turtle thing you had."

Images of Donatello suddenly flooded my mind, and of all the wonderful things he had done, and all the times he had been there for me when I needed him. How dare this man call him a _thing_? How dare he insult a person who was so much better than he was in so many ways, in countless ways? A deep well of rage seemed to burst forth inside of me, and all of the pain and heartache and misery and loneliness of the past few weeks exploded inside of me. How dare this insidious, lying, son of a bitch _proposition_ me after all he had done and all he had destroyed!

I don't remember anything except my world going black. I was vaguely aware of jumping up, of my fist connecting with something hard. My eyesight didn't clear until I was forcibly yanked back, and suddenly I was being thrown across the room. Ken was slumped against the wall on the far side of the room, his face bleeding from what looked like claw marks, a huge, deep bruise forming on one side of his face. He had teeth marks on one side of his neck and I looked down at my hands to see that I had blood on my nails. I was slightly unsettled; I was more surprised that I had done such a thing. But my mind was distracted when one of the Gorilla Guys grabbed me and lifted me up by the neck of my shirt. He drew his fist back and I closed my eyes, bracing myself for the pain that would follow.

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><p>I had a hard time moving around much after the beating I received. It hurt to breathe and chew, and I walked with a limp for a week. Ken hadn't stopped his underling from attacking me; he had encouraged it. He was furious over my rejection, and shamed over the attack I had let loose on him. Despite the fact that I was in serious pain, however, I inwardly rejoiced at the knowledge that I had hurt him, even if it was only a fraction of the damage that he had caused me.<p>

The progress on the box still continued, despite my injuries. I believe that was the only reason why he didn't kill me right there. Although he could have gotten another person to open the box, I was the only one who could do it that fast. I had a keen eye and quick hands (when my fingers weren't broken), and it made a huge difference when the smallest detail could move the most panels on the metal surface. As time went on, however, I realized that when I opened it now, I would probably be killed. I still had no idea what was inside either. That terrified me.

No matter what Ken said, I was certain he wouldn't let me go when I was finally done. If I had accepted his 'offer', he would have used me as a lover and let me slack off and perhaps even let me leave whatever compound I was in to do things with him, but when I was done I was almost completely sure he'd have me killed anyway, unless he was planning on using me as a sex slave the rest of my life. Now he would just shoot me dead.

With this in mind, my plight became a good deal more desperate. It got to the point where whenever someone wasn't looking I would move panels in an opposite way than I was supposed to. This delayed the Grand Opening, as I liked to call it, but I knew that I was only buying some time. Eventually Ken would get this thing open, with or without me. If I took too long, he'd get frustrated and get rid of me anyway. I had only so many cards to play and I had to play them right, or I was doomed. So I delayed when I could and worked slowly at other times, but day by day, the box's secrets were being revealed. I could only pray that I'd think of something, of some escape plan, before it was too late and Ken got whatever he wanted inside. There was no hero coming to save me this time; the only way out was to use my wits, and despite my constant insistence that my pink glasses made me look as though I was more nerdy than intelligent, I felt I had enough of a brain to get some brilliant Idea. I just hoped I'd get one soon enough to not be shot.

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><p>Well, this chapter is going to be the last of the Short Chapters in this story. I seriously doubt that any of the next few chapters, barring of course the Epilogue, will be anything shorter than 10 pages. There's just so much that has to happen.<p>

Despite the brevity of this particular chapter, I hope you enjoyed it just the same. I tried to keep it interesting and fun to read, and hopefully I succeeded. Reviews are a great way of letting the author know how things are going, and if you feel the need, please don't hesitate to give me an opinion (provided its constructive criticism and not just a pointless flame)!


	23. Chapter Twenty Three

Only two more chapters after this… only two more chapters. If everything goes as planned that is. I don't see why it wouldn't.

So I'm trying something new with this chapter; I'm occasionally inserting a 3rd Person view of things here and there that is not Irma's perspective. I think it's worked out fairly well myself. Hopefully you all think so too.

I cannot believe I have made it this far, I really can't. Usually by now I'd have lost interest and just moved on to something else. I want to thank each and every reviewer for the encouragement and the staunch support, having read this far and still staying with me. Thank you all so, so much.

Especially thanks to my wonderful beta readers, you fantastic people you! I adore you both so very, very much and I don't know what I'd do without you! XOXO

And now, without further ado, the next chapter.

I don't own TMNT or any affiliated characters.

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><p><strong>Chapter Twenty Three<strong>

Everything changed in the few weeks after the beating I had been given. Something changed inside me, although I couldn't quite pinpoint what it was. After some examination in the years after, I've settled on it most likely being a survival instinct keeping me aware and somewhat full of adrenalin. I was verge glad that I didn't have a mirror to look at myself after the pummeling I had received at the hands of Ken's hired goons, because probably I would have been horrified. I had no way of knowing how long I had been in there for certain, but I collected bits of information from the two guards and various others I saw roaming the halls as I was led from room to room. It had been about two months since my imprisonment and forced labor. I was not happy about that.

Ken hadn't had me moved to a smaller, more miserable room like he had threatened to before. I had a sneaking suspicion that he pretty much wanted me gone, but because I'd be dead soon he wasn't going to deprive me of whatever comforts I had. I was strangely thankful for this.

When everything started going to hell, the Box was almost opened. I had been working almost non-stop on it for the entirety of my time there, except for the few days they had let me off due to physical injuries after beatings. I knew that any day now I would break through and see what was inside because I could feel the hum of power growing stronger. Whenever my fingers touched the metal, it sang through my bones, up my arms and neck so that the fine hairs at the back of my scalp stood straight up. It was terrifying and wonderful both at once, and despite my strong desire to keep whatever was in there away from Ken, it was almost matched by an equal desire to fling the thing open to see what was inside myself. I was unsure if this was part of the magic of the Box or my own curiosity, but either way, it was strong. Something else that worried me was the question of what I would do once it was open. Whatever was in there may not have necessarily been terrifying on its own, but it was the potential damage that Ken could do with it that was. I had no idea what it was, and almost didn't want to. My mind kept flashing back to the peach story, and I considered what I would do if in fact that's what it was.

_Perhaps I could squish it_, I thought to myself. But then I tossed that idea to the side when I realized that even as a mess on the ground, it was most likely still going to be magic, or divine, or whatever it was. You could still make a smoothie with a squished peach, although that seemed somewhat degrading to a magic fruit_. Oh, like the fruit cares_, Sensible Irma scoffed.

_It's better to consider these things now that wait for it to happen and find out you've been cursed with Athlete's Foot for eternity_, I argued back.

Sensible Irma rolled her eyes at me and then went on to ignore all my thoughts from that point on while Ridiculous Irma and myself went on to plot all of the possible scenarios that could happen, including, but not limited to, the likelihood of a zombie outbreak.

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><p>My planning paid off (somewhat) some days later. Give or take. Time ran strangely in a place with no windows or discernible exit to the outside. Honestly, if I hadn't been left alone, I wouldn't have noticed anything wrong.<p>

But that's confusing to just say that. I should explain from the beginning just what went down that last crucial day.

It began like all the others. I woke up, got dressed, and a few minutes later, the doors to my room opened and I was led out, down the halls to my work area. I had started waking up naturally before they came for me. Every day when I opened my eyes I waited with a sense of dread for the sound of the hinges squeaking on the door and the feeling of the two hands grabbing at me. Today was no different. I had memorized the way to the Box Room, counted the number of doors, people walking into rooms, and heard snatches of conversation. I had managed to piece together where exactly my area was in the compound; it was in the east wing, with the middle being the living quarters and the east wing probably having the garage or hanger or whatever it was that allowed people access. It was weird; they were cautious about me being able to walk around freely on my own, but they didn't bother stopping their chats as I walked past. Obviously they didn't feel I was a big enough threat to do something that could hurt them. _I_ didn't think I was a big enough threat to do something that could hurt them.

Things continued on as they had normally before. The box was nearly opened and I was resigned to my inevitable fate with a dull lump in my stomach as I continued to work on the panels that would open to reveal the ultimate puzzle box prize inside. I didn't pay much attention to how far I was going after a while. I was going to die as soon as Ken had whatever was in there, and it was better off to not bother worrying about it. So I didn't. Not until I heard an alarm go off somewhere in the building.

I had been bent over the box, concentrating on what I was doing when I and my two guards heard the distant sounds of an alarm going off. I looked up at them with a look of curiosity. One of them shrugged. The other just motioned at me to get back to work, and I did. But the alarms didn't go off, and then suddenly they were even louder, closer. The two guards frowned at each other this time, silently communicating. One of them walked over to me, and I instinctively shrunk down in my chair, remembering the beating they had given me before. "Don't move," he growled at me, and I nodded, hoping my expression conveyed enough fear to satisfy him. It must have, though, because he gave a grunt and walked towards the door, his companion following him. The other turned to look at me and warningly ran his finger across his neck. I got the message.

They both left and I was alone in the room. For a few minutes I went back to work on the Box. But then after a while I stopped and sat back, truly looking at the object in front of me for the first time in many days.

The craftsmanship of it was undisputedly beautiful. It was a masterpiece of cunning ingenuity and artistic loveliness, a hybrid of two forms of logic and creativity to form a truly baffling device.

So many panels had been removed already , sliding back to other sides so that it looked as though it was held together solely by magnets in the metal itself. I wouldn't have been surprised. The sparks of magic that ran up and down my arms no longer bothered me; I was too used to it by now, and whether that was a good thing or a bad thing, I couldn't be sure. I wasn't really sure of a lot of things, like what was going on and when my guards would be back and even if they did, what would it matter?

But the alarms kept going and no one came back. I waited and waited for it to stop, for Ken or the Gorilla guards or even someone else to come in, order me to get back to work, but no one did. And suddenly, I felt for the first time in a while something like the stirrings of hope. If no one came back when I opened the Box (and I was much closer to being done than I had let on that whole time), and I had time to leave, and could just get to the bathroom, and… and… Of course, that was assuming I could flush whatever was in there. It was the only location I knew for sure how to get to other than my cell and the room I was currently in. I was debating with myself whether or not the plot forming in my head was a good one or a bad one, when suddenly an explosion went off.

It was nowhere near where I was; I would have heard it much clearer had it been. I began an inner debate with myself; if I left now after opening the box and taking whatever was inside, there was a good chance that someone would catch me, and the beating I got from attacking Ken would be absolutely nothing in comparison to what I would receive after that. BUT… on the other hand, if I didn't take this opportunity now, there was a good chance I would never get one again.

I turned my gaze back to the box. There was only one fate for me- death. No matter what I chose, I was going to die. "Oh, what the hell," I said to myself. "I might as well die trying to be a hero. Got nothing else going for me." And with that, I set to work on it.

* * *

><p><em>The explosions went off flawlessly. Although there had been a six percent chance of some malfunction, nothing of the sort had happened. He had honestly been more worried about being detected as they flew into the base. It was cleverly concealed; the bastard was smart, he'd give the creep that much. The layout though was somewhat simplistic. The rooms with something to hide inside were filled with more security and those that weren't had simple doors. It only took a few beatings to figure out where the security room was. The one he'd gotten his hands on and took his anger out on hadn't known anything about Irma. He was lucky he was still alive. Leonardo had stopped him. <em>

_The next one wouldn't be so lucky._

* * *

><p>Right slide, left turn, down slide, <em>Dear Lord, this is so boring… How have I gotten through this long without going out of my mind?<em>

I sighed and let my head fall onto the desk briefly before pulling myself back to my work. I was going to get this damned thing open or I was going to die in the attempt. Come to think of it, I'd probably die afterwards too. But I was so close, so close to the end. I could feel the vibrations getting, well, louder, if that were possible. It was something a person would have to feel in order to understand exactly what it was, but the pulsing was harder, stronger, surging through my fingers and up my arms. Had it not become so familiar too me, it would have been exceedingly unnerving.

Everything else in the world was zoned out. All there was in my universe was focus and my one goal. I had only so much time. I had to make the most of it. Time lost all meaning. In the back of my mind, I knew it had been some time since I began; not too long, but about twenty minutes. They hadn't come back yet. Maybe they never would. That cheered me up slightly.

To tell the truth, I lost all track of time as I pulled and tugged at those stupid puzzle pieces. It could have taken me hours, seconds, minutes, I wouldn't have noticed. Nothing mattered except to get it open and to get the treasure within out.

Twelve panels, ten panels, six panels, three panels and then…

* * *

><p><em>They found the security room (or one of them) after cracking a few skulls. He quickly tapped a few keys and within seconds all the records of the last two months appeared. Most of them looked like they could be ignored. Lounge, cafeteria, hallways, Guest X.<em>

_What kind of idiots would label something Guest X? Double click, and hours of footage appeared on screen. He clicked the first one. It was a door, metal, with no one outside, but through the speakers came the scratchy voice of someone screaming through the door, banging on it with fists and eventually dissolving into soft weeping._

"_Irma," he whispered._

* * *

><p>Nothing could have prepared me for opening that box. I had expected something terrifying, something horrible, something I need to destroy…<p>

But there, sitting quietly like it didn't want to be noticed, was a small, plain wooden box. I reached out with trembling fingers and opened up the lid.

Sitting in the smaller case between velvet cushions that had somehow withstood time, was the most perfect, beautiful peach in the world that had ever and would ever exist. The colors were perfect, and it looked as though it was glowing with a bright, cheerful light. Its scent filled the room, but rather than a smell of peaches, it smelled of everything I loved with just a faint hint of the fruit in the background. It smelled of autumn leaves, fresh baked brownies, the smell of birthday cake full of candles right before they set it down in front of you (April and Casey had thrown some for me when I became friends with them)the fresh smell wind brings with it as it travels…

Before I knew it I had the peach in my hands and I had my nose to it, the soft fuzz tickling my hands and the bright colors almost burning through my eyelids which I had closed to enjoy the scent even more. It was so perfect, so good. I opened my mouth to bite into the sweet, delicious, magical flesh of the peach, its magic calling to me softly like a good friend laughing quietly.

I had my teeth pressed against the skin, prepared to take a bite, but then a door slammed open somewhere and I spun around to stare at the door with horror. My heart stopped beating and I could only imagine what would happen if they ran through that door and saw me with the fruit. But no one did. I waited for a few seconds and heard footsteps running in a different direction and a huge sigh of relief rushed through me. I turned back to the peach in my hands and realized with a jolt that had I taken a bite, there was a good change I would have been changed in some way. Maybe immortal, maybe not, but either way, I would have been different. My previously rapturous expression turned to a frown as I considered whether or not I even _wanted_ to change. Sure, I wasn't perfect or anything, but-

Shouts from somewhere down the hall. Now was not the time for a mental debate. I quickly stood up and hid the peach in the jacket pocket that I had taken to wearing during my time in the compound. It was large and baggy with deep pockets that could hide just about anything. It was reversible too, which I was exceedingly thankful for as I turned my jacket inside out. I would have probably been recognized had I worn the red and white side like I usually did, but when I reversed it, it was black. I pulled my sleeves up and took my hair down. It felt strange; I had taken to pulling my bangs back so often that I hated to go without doing it now, just like I had done with buns. I briefly smiled and then took a deep breath, sobering myself. _The trick is,_ I told myself_, to act like you belong here. Get a swagger or something , make yourself less noticeable by pretending like you've been here all along and haven't been noticed._

How hard could it be?

…

I was going to die.

* * *

><p><em>There was so much of her, so many clips and videos. It hurt to watch them, to see her being drug around and looking listless and empty. The only expressions she wore were fear and bland disinterest in everything. Was this what they had done to her? Where was the fire, the emotion, the laughter and constant joking? She was just a shell, and it was his fault. Fingers tightened around the arms of his chair as he clicked on a video to see the bastard walking around her as she worked at that awful little table and whisper something in her ear. She jumped up and rushed at him, screaming in fury, her nails going for the man's eyes, shouting how the man was nothing compared to <em>him_, how _he _was so much more than her captor could ever be._

_And then she was thrown away and they came at her and she was holding her hands up to huge fists aimed at her stomach and face-_

_He stood up abruptly and smashed his weapon into the screen over and over, filled with hate and rage and a deep, strong undercurrent of pain for her._

"_Hey!" One of his brothers shouted at him from the hallway. "You know where she is?"_

"_Yes," he replied grimly, and left the room with a promise to himself that it would be his hands around Shinobu's neck that would kill the man._

* * *

><p>I had no earthly clue where I was supposed to go. I had a vague idea of where things were, but I couldn't be certain. And unfortunately, I was now walking around willy-nilly in a place where it was certain that everyone in it would be hostile towards me. I wasn't counting on the people attacking to help me; knowing Ken, it was just some rival gang coming to take him out, and at best, they'd ignore me. At worst… well, there was no point in thinking about it.<p>

Everyone was rushing around, at least the few people I saw in the halls. It looked as though anyone who had any sort of skill with fighting was gone. The people going from room to room all looked like simple staff members, and none of them were particularly threatening. Most of them were babbling incoherently about intruders wearing green, but I didn't really register any of that. I did my best to go from hallway to hallway being sneaky and going unseen. This went well for a while until-

"Hey! You!"

I spun around and felt my heart stop beating. One of the huge men who had guarded me was standing there at the other end of the hallway, a furious expression on his face. He lifted his two gigantic fists and cracked his knuckles while looking at me. That was all I needed to see, and I spun around and ran as fast as I could. I could hear him coming after me, his feet pounding on the floor loudly. I couldn't pay much attention to anything except the survival instinct that had kicked in strongly, and I raced away as fast as I could, my heart pounding as though it was going to explode out of my chest. I glanced back once to see a truly cold look in the man's eyes and a cruel smirk on his lips. I knew he'd kill me once he got the chance. Whether or not he knew I had opened the box was uncertain, and I didn't care to ask either. Instead I put on an extra burst of speed and ran even faster than before. I could hear him swearing behind me as I rounded a corner and flew down the halls, managing to make another turn before he could see where I went. This was my chance!

Without really thinking about it, I rushed into one of the rooms that I had learned were reserved for things like dinning and relaxing. At least, I had been led to believe that's what they were. And it appeared that I was not mistaken, as I swung into an expansive kitchen that, praise all the heavens above, was mercifully empty. But it wouldn't last. I could practically feel the man coming up behind me. Giving my surroundings a quick once over, I rushed over to the corner where I could see a collection of kitchen knives sitting. Grabbing the largest one I could find, I ducked down behind the counters and crouched there, my knees pulled up to my chest and my breath coming out in tiny pants for fear of being detected.

The door opened. I clutched the handle of the knife so hard my fingers turned white and I almost forgot to breathe from fear. I could hear his footsteps moving around the kitchen and carefully, slowly inched my way over to once side of the counters and quickly peeked around before ducking back. He was looking at a large cabinet against the wall and was walking towards it. Looking towards the door, I wondered if I got closer and ran as fast as I could, if I could make it. My instincts told me no. The door was very heavy and large, and I doubted I could get it open quickly enough to not be grabbed by him.

"I know you're in here, you pathetic little bitch," he called out. "And I gotta tell you, you're wasting your time. There's no way for you to get out of here. Even if I didn't get you, someone else will. Your little friends aren't going to change that". I frowned. Friends? What was he talking about?

"You've been a pain in our ass since you got here," he continued, still slowly pacing the room. "It's too bad you didn't take the boss's offer. You aren't going to get out of here alive now. Especially with this last stunt you've pulled. But I can promise you now, if you come out like a good girl, I'll kill you real quick and without pain. I know how to do that. It's a lot more than I can say for the boss."

Step, step, step. He came closer. I rounded the corner that faced the door now. If I could just get to it, then if he came after me, maybe if I got him with the knife I could make it out. "You don't know what he's really like, honey," the man said softly, and I froze. "He's got a real nasty streak. He likes it when people scream." His voice went lower and I could feel my blood go cold. "He likes it when women scream. I've heard him, you know, with women who got on his bad side. The boss has a way of keeping them alive for hours and hours while he has his fun with them."

I had to fight back the urge to vomit, my hands starting to shake from genuine fear. He was getting closer with every step. I had to decide what I should do.

"Found you," came a voice behind me, and without a thought I leaped up towards the door, my hands stretching towards the handle. I felt a big hand wrap painfully around my ankle and draw me backwards, twisting my foot in such a way that I had to turn around or risk him fracturing a bone. He looked completely bloodthirsty, and I knew without a doubt that I was going to t get beaten to death this time. He raised up a fist and without thinking, I screamed and slashed the blade in my hand across the man's face. He gave a scream of agony and momentarily let me go. I started to pull myself away from him and go towards the door again, but then something heavy came down on my spine and I gave a gasp of pain, all the air knocked out of my lungs. The guy had punched me right on my spine, momentarily stunning me. The knife fell from my hand as my fingers twitched in pain. It was all he needed to flip me over again and wrap his hands around my neck, squeezing hard. Stars started floating around and I clawed at his hands in desperation. It had no effect other than to make him squeeze even harder and my body began to move with pure instinct. I shut my eyes tightly, my fingernails raking along his arms and hands while my legs began to kick at him. I was almost unconscious when suddenly he gave a huge groan of pain and his grip slackened on my throat. I had unintentionally kicked him in the groin. There wasn't much time. I bit his hand hard, and he let me go, swearing. I flipped over once more and grabbed the handle of the knife. I jumped up and just as the guy looked up at me, preparing to stand and kill me, I brought down the knife with all my strength.

The blade went through his neck and I fell back in sudden horror at the action I had taken. The man's voice gurgled for just a moment, blood seeping from the corners of his mouth. Terror seized my heart and I stopped breathing once more as he reached out towards me, murder written on his face. And then, suddenly, he fell forward with a sickening crack and the blade was pushed even deeper into his neck. He was dead, and blood was everywhere. I rushed to the sink and began to throw up, tears in my eyes and my entire body shaking.

* * *

><p><em>They ran into the room where he knew she would be, where she had to be. The doors flew open and he was the first in, eyes searching frantically for some sign of her. But she wasn't there. He saw the chair she usually sat at, and he walked towards it, fingertips lightly touching the cold metal of the back. He could almost feel the sorrow radiating from it, and it made his heart clench painfully. Then he looked up at the box. It was empty. A cold feeling made its way through his bones. Possibilities rushed through his mind, but the only ones he could accept- would accept- were that she had completed it and they had taken her somewhere else, or she had opened it and then escaped somehow. Any other conclusion would be unthinkable. He would find her again, and he would bring her home, and she'd be safe and… and…<em>

_A gentle hand curled around his shoulder and he turned to see the sympathetic eyes of his brother. "She'll be fine, bro," he said quietly. "We'll find her, I promise." He could make no reply but nodded his head shortly before turning and walking from the room._

* * *

><p>In spite of my fear of blood, I didn't faint from the sight of the rapidly pooling blood coming from the corpse of my would-be killer. Staring at it made me feel oddly calmer, as though my body was adjusting to the fact that my life was no longer in immediate danger. I froze then, and hurriedly rinsed the blood off my hands before I reached into my pocket and pulled out the peach, praying it was undamaged.<p>

The skin was broken on it, and my senses were instantly overwhelmed by the scent of what could only be described as heavenly. All my worries seemed to disappear as though just holding it would make everything better. The juices trickled down onto my hand, and the beautiful scent wafted up to me, as though it were a perfume. Without thinking, I reached up and rubbed it onto my neck, as you would a regular perfume.

And then I realized that the painful marks on my neck where the man's hand had been no longer hurt. I froze, and then quickly grabbed a nearby pan that was in the sink and stared into the reflective surface. It revealed something startling. With a gasp, I saw the finger marks were disappearing, as though being wiped away by a gentle hand. I lightly rubbed the juice in a little more and whatever wound it touched slowly faded away as though it never was.

I stared down at the peach again. Was that why this caused immortality? Because once it was eaten it made your innards heal instantaneously? I was no scientist, but I knew enough to remember that theoretically, if one could cause their cells to rejuvenate indefinitely rather than gradually die off, then one could perhaps life forever, or at least remain ageless. But then again, I hadn't seen even so much as a tooth mark on the peach either. That legend… Was it true? The peach was in front of me and so of course no one could have eaten from it… But then I paled. As I looked closely, the torn skin of the peach was knitting itself back together as though it had just been picked off a tree. "Oh," I said weakly. "So that's how it works." It grew itself back. It must have given the gift of rejuvenation to anyone who ate it. This was bad. Very bad. I certainly had nothing against getting a few years back, but in the hands of someone like Ken, it was not good at all. This thing was a weapon. But I wondered about something.

Chewing my lip in concentration, I looked around the kitchen for another clean knife. I found one and placing the peach on the counter, I carefully cut a small slice from it. The intoxicating scent wafted through the air again and I let my head lean back to enjoy the delicious smell. Shaking my head to clear my thoughts, I turned back to the peach and with a growing sense of horror saw it once more grow back into a perfect peach, leaving the small slice sitting on the counter patiently. What in the hell was I supposed to do with that?

And then I saw out of the corner of my eye a blender. Staring at it, a small grin spread across my face. "Light bulb," I said.

* * *

><p><em>The man stared at the open box in front of him with a truly frightening expression. He made no noise or sound as he stared, and then suddenly with a scream of rage flipped over the table and smashed the chair against the metal box. The EMPTY metal box. <em>

"_I'll kill her," he hissed. "I'll tear her skin off inch by inch." So saying, he pulled a gun out of his pocket and loaded it. "I'll make sure no one recognizes her as anything but a pile of raw, bloody meat."_

_With that, he strode away, dark thoughts in his heart and an evil smirk on his face._

* * *

><p>I sliced the peach into two sides once I moved to the blender, and the powerful aroma almost overpowered me as suddenly every wonderful memory I had rushed to my mind at once, in an almost divine experience. It was almost too much, and I had to close my eyes tightly and inhale through my mouth for a moment. When I once more opened up my eyes I saw, with almost shock, the peach seed. It was gold, or at least looked just looked like gold. I swallowed and considered that this had to be the source of the peach's magic. Sure enough, I saw the peach once more begin to regenerate around the edges of the seed, and without another moment's thought, I pulled out the seed. It glowed in my hand and it felt almost as though I was holding the hand of someone I loved dearly. It nearly brought tears to my eyes. I quickly dropped the peach slices into the blender and put the lid over the top, and then pressed the 'cycle' button on the blender. Within mere moments, the slices had been diced, sliced, pureed, chopped, and smashed together. Normally it wouldn't have looked that good, but apparently a divine peach looked delicious no matter what happened to it. I had discovered a small plastic water bottle in the pantry and had let it empty into the sink. The vomit still sitting there didn't make me feel nauseous at all. The peach-smell had filled the entire room. Once it was empty, I took the bottle back to the blender and poured the peach-mush into the bottle. I managed to fill it to the brim before closing it. I rushed back to the sink with the blender and the peach seed, praying that it wouldn't start growing again as I rinsed them both off.<p>

Luckily for me, all the seed did was glow gently as though patiently asking me what I'd like to do with it. I put both the seed and bottle into my pockets and walked out of the kitchen. I didn't know where I was going or what I was going to do. All I knew was that I wanted to get away from that body and that room. I wanted to leave this place. I wanted to get away.

I rushed down the hallways once more, this time not seeing anyone. Whenever I saw a computer screen in a security area or through an open door, the screens were flickering as though they had all been contaminated with a hell of a virus. But there was no time to think about those things. I had to get out of here. I must have been getting close because I could faintly hear the sounds of revving engines. It eventually got to the point where I was throwing open every door I happened across, in the hopes that one of them would lead to the garage. This process of elimination worked fairly well for a while. But then it went downhill very quickly. Mostly because I eventually opened a door and saw Ken waiting on the other side.

"Hello, Irma," he said pleasantly as always. And then he raised his gun and shot at me.

* * *

><p><em>They heard gunshots as they were running down the halls back to the area that they had first infiltrated. They had stopped only a moment earlier when one of them spotted blood seeping from under a door. They flung it open to discover a corpse on the floor and vomit in the sink, but also an overwhelming scent. It was wonderful, the best thing that any of them had ever smelled before. It was almost enough to wipe away the grisly sight of the body.<em>

_There were scratch marks all over the man's hands and the oldest knelt down and examined with a solemn face before looking up again. "I think he was trying to strangle someone. They must have gotten away, but looking all these marks, I think it was probably a close shave."_

_He looked away and closed his eyes briefly. She hadn't ever had to kill anyone before. He had, regrettably, but he was a trained warrior. She had had to take a life because he wasn't fast enough. He made a vow to himself that he would never make her go through something like that again._

"_Come on," he barked at them. "Let's go."_

* * *

><p>I ran from Ken screaming loudly, barely registering the death threats spewing from his mouth as he chased after me. He had the upper hand in this situation. He knew the layout, and I didn't. I had to rely on pure luck to survive here. Frankly, my luck hadn't been all that good. And then I remembered the peach-juice and peach seed in my pockets. Suddenly I felt better about my chances. That was good. At least I could die with a smile on my face that way.<p>

_Concentrate, you idiot! _Sensible Irma screamed at me in my mind. _You can get through this! Just think! Use your surroundings to your advantage!_

_What surroundings?!_ I argued back. _I have no idea where I am! I'm just lucky I haven't been shot yet!_

As if to emphasize my point, another round was squeezed off and I could hear the whistle of air as it shot past my ear and another explicative from Ken. _See?_ I demanded.

_Stop making excuses and keep going! Run into that room there!_ Without really considering it, I ducked into a room with an open door, only to find that it was full of barrels. I ducked behind several and found some long, large metal pipes that were doubtlessly used for repairs. I could hear him walking in after me, cautiously and slowly. He knew I was in here, he just didn't know where. Very slowly I picked up one of the pipes and held it to me for dear life. I cursed myself for not bringing another knife with me for self defense, but all I could think about was how it felt to sink the last one into my would-be killer's neck. I shuddered silently, being sure to keep my gaze on the shadow slowly moving in my direction. _Don't breathe, don't breathe, don't breathe…_

Finally, I saw an outstretched arm holding the gun walk into my vision. I jumped up with a scream and brought down the pipe as hard as I could, and I couldn't help but feel a thrill of victory as I heard a sickening cracking sound as Ken cried out in pain. I hit his head equally hard, and his gun fell to the floor with a clatter. Moving as quickly as I could, I picked it up and aimed it at him. His nose was bleeding, red flowing down over his lips and he stared up at me with pure hatred, the blood staining his teeth and lips red. I paled and tried to steady my hands.

"I'll kill you," he said to me, like it was a fact.

"I have the gun," I responded.

"Your hands are shaking too badly," he responded, a small smirk appearing on his mouth.

"Not bad enough to keep me from shooting your brains out!" I took a deep breath. "I don't want to kill you, Ken. I've already had to kill someone else, so I'll do it again, but I don't want to."

"Who did you kill?"

"One of those guys you made watch me. I stabbed him through the neck."

He let his head fall back and gave a laugh that made my hair stand on end. "Oh, that's rich. What a joke! To think you killed one of them!"

"Well, I did! And I can kill you too!"

"Probably," he agreed. "But you won't."

I said nothing but motioned for him to get up. He did so. "Take me to the hanger or garage or whatever you use to get out of here."

He was silent as he led me away, moving quickly. "Don't try anything," I said. "I will kill you if I have to."

"Yes, you've said that." He said nothing more as we walked. I said nothing for a while, wanting to make it to the garage or whatever it was, but the silence was oppressive and made me more jumpy. Finally I asked, "What's going on anyway?"

He finally stopped and stared at me. "Don't play stupid, bitch. You know perfectly well what it is!"

"No, actually, I really don't. What is it?"

He snorted and kept walking. "Your little friends showed up."

My heart stopped beating. "Friends?"

"Your freak friends. They found their way here."

I froze. "No way."

He took the moment that I stopped to spin around and punch me. I saw his punch coming though and squeezed off a round, and he crumpled to the floor clutching his shoulder. His cold, handsome face stared up at me. "Be careful, Irma. You have only so many cards to play. Smart people always have an ace in the hole."

I paid little attention to his words. I was trying to ignore the feel of blood trickling down my nose and licked it off my lips without a thought, grimacing at the metallic flavor. Was this really how it had to be? Did I really have to kill this man? He had hurt me, many times, yes, but killing someone was not to be done lightly. How could I just kill him like that?

And then I heard a voice I thought I never would again.

"IRMA!"

My head shot up from looking at Ken and I saw the face of the one person I wanted to see most of all in the world.

A huge smile of relief and joy spread across my face as I saw him race towards me with his brothers. "Donatello!" I called out to him.

And then I felt a very strange thing happen. It was a sharp pain, almost white hot. I looked down to see a knife sticking out of my stomach. I followed the hand and arm of the person gripping the hilt and then looked confusedly into Ken's eyes. "An ace in the hole like that," he said calmly, and then stepped aside so that they could see the blade sticking out of my stomach. Several cries rang out, all of them overridden by Donatello's shout of rage and horror. His eyes met mine for a moment and I saw in them a deep desperation as his he ran to me, arms outstretched. As I crumpled to floor, I briefly considered the irony of the situation. But I was soon distracted from my thoughts by the anguished cries of Donatello and his voice begging me to stay with him as he cradled my head in his hands. There were sounds of flesh being brutally attacked in the corner, but I couldn't muster up the energy to look. It must have been Ken, because soon I saw all four of the brothers gathered around me. My vision was tunneling and their voices were urgent, but I did my best to give them a smile.

"I thought… that you… would just for-forget a-about me," I gasped out as I tried to sit up.

"Irma, don't move, don't move!" Donatello held me still and I registered the feeling of hands on me, unzipping my jacket and then something rip as they tore through my shirt. Fingers touched my wound as gently as they could, but I still gave a gasp of pain.

"We have to take the knife out," said Michelangleo, his mouth in a straight line. "We can't do anything with that in there."

Don looked down at me again, looking as though he was feeling every bit of pain I was. "He's right, Irma," he whispered.

I nodded, not trusting myself to speak. He pressed his lips my forehead as Leo's hand wrapped around the knife. He rained down kisses on my eyelids and nose and cheeks murmuring apologies and all sorts of sweet things about how he'd make it up to me afterwards and saying how it'd be over in just a second and how I shouldn't be scared-

Leo pulled the knife out of my stomach with one swift movement while I was distracted by the feel of Don's hands and mouth running over my skin like I had imagined him doing for so long. I arched up screaming and he wrapped his arms around me tightly, kissing me hard until I fell back, slack from pain.

"It's okay, sweetheart, it's alright, don't worry, you're going to be fine, I'll take care of you." He whispered all sorts of things to me as I zoned out from the overwhelming pain and exhaustion I was feeling, hardly feeling Leo's fingers as they probed at my stab wound and Donatello's hands and mouth as he stroked my hair and kissed me.

I hardly had enough energy to make the sounds of discomfort that I did, and I nearly passed out from the pain as Leo examined me before he slowly pulled back, laying a hand gently over the tear in my skin. "It's too deep, Don," Leonardo's voice said softly. "We can't do anything here."

"No!" Raphael shouted. "She's not gonna to die in this hellhole! We're getting her outta here, damnit!"

Michelangelo held my hand tightly, running his thumb over my knuckles reassuringly. "It'll be okay, Irms," he whispered. "We'll take care of you." He did his best to keep his voice from wavering. I squeezed his hand back and then opened my eyes and tried to focus on Don's face.

"D… Don…" my words were cut off by a gasp of pain.

"Irma," he whispered to me, and then, holding my face in his hands, bent over to kiss me on my lips. It was the sweetest thing he had ever done for me, holding me so gently, looking at me like I was the most valuable treasure in the world. And then it hit me.

"Jacket!" I gasped out, trying to sit up again.

"Irma!" Hands tried to hold me down. "You'll make it worse! Please, stop!"

I shook my head furiously. "No! Jacket... p-pocket… a bottle… there…" Weakly, I reached for it with my free hand, groaning at the effort. Everything I did just made me wearier. I let my head fall back into Donatello's hands. "Get it," I whispered. "Hurry."

Something rustled against my jacket, and someone began to pat me down to see what I had. I was so tired…

"No! Irma! Stay awake! Okay? Stay awake!"

Raphael gave a groan of pain like I'd never heard from him before, and I heard his footsteps go away to attack something.

But it wasn't enough. My eyes started closing of their own accord and I turned my face to nuzzle against Don's hand. It was the last thing I felt as I felt myself drifting away.

* * *

><p>Well, this chapter ends on perhaps a sadder note than was expected, I'm sure. But you guys have lasted this long, and there's still once chapter left along with an epilogue. If you can manage to make yourselves stick around, I don't think you'll be disappointed. I know this chapter is somewhat short, but I hope you guys liked it just the same, despite the death and all that in it.<p>

Please review and let me know how you like it! If you have any questions, don't be afraid to ask me either.


	24. Chapter Twenty Four

Well, people. Here we are. The final chapter (because the epilogue doesn't really count I don't think) of the story. Here it ends, or at least wraps itself up. I know you guys have been waiting a long time for this, and I want to thank you all so much for sticking with me for this long. You're all fantastic and I adore you all so much!

I want to give an especially wonderful heartfelt Thank You to my wonderful and fantastic beta readers Colonel Pop and GoodSmilesGirl for all your amazing feedback and dedication to me making a great story. You're the best!

Also, quick apology for the late update today. All these things cropped up at once and I had to take care of them before I could get to this. But maybe the quality of the story is worth the wait. I hope you think so!

I don't own TMNT or any characters therein. So please don't sue.

Parts of this chapter are written in a somewhat different way, from Don's POV in third person. I found it to be more dramatic that way. Hopefully you guys agree as you read along. And now, without further ado, I give you…

* * *

><p><strong>Chapter Twenty Four<strong>

Donatello's arms were shaking, his fingers trembling. He held Irma tightly in his arms, brushing her hair back from her sweating forehead, noting how cold her skin was. She was struggling to keep her eyes open and he shook her a little, saying her name urgently. "Irma! Irma, please, don't go, don't… stay here!"

Raphael had walked over to where Shinobu was laying on the flood, prostrate from the beating he had already received from Raph and Mikey just moments before. Michelangelo was riffling through Irma's jacket like she had just asked. Once more Don's eyes went down to the wound in Irma's stomach. They had pulled out the blade that Shinbu had stabbed into her and he remembered with perfect clarity the look of shock and pain on her face that had replaced the one of joy and overwhelming relief that she had while she was looking at him, and how it changed to one of bewilderment as she looked down to see the inches of metal slide into her body. There was so much blood on her…

He stared down into her face and noticed with horror that her eyes were closed. He put a hand to her pulse. She was so cold… she was so pale…

"No, no, no, no, no, no, no," he whispered over and over pressing his forehead against her own. "Please, please, please Irma, don't leave me, don't go. I'm so sorry, I'm so sorry, I didn't mean to hurt you, please forgive me."

He could faintly hear Raphael weeping softly on the other side of the room, his hands covered in Shinobu's blood. The man was dead, he knew it, but it was no consolation for him. Leonardo sat on the other side of Irma, staring down at her, his hand still on her wound. "This is all my fault," he said quietly. "I suspected him from the start, but I didn't say anything. I should have protected her. I should have done something more. I didn't have any proof, I didn't have… I wasn't brave enough to say something to her. I should have tried to warn her off."

Donatello said nothing, just kept staring down into her face, keeping his fingers against her pulse, noting how her heart was still beating just a little. There was a ringing sound from one of the brothers and Leo pulled out one of Don's phone inventions and put it to his ear.

Leo was quiet for a moment and then said, "April, I'm so sorry. I… we… we didn't make it in time. I'm so, so sorry."

He could hear the sound of April weeping on the other side of the line. He wanted to shout, scream at Leo, tell him that she was going to be fine, that they could do something, that she still had a pulse-

"I FOUND IT!" Michelangelo raised his hand up triumphantly, and the three other brothers stared at the youngest brother's hand and saw a bottle filled with an almost golden liquid. "Irma!" he shouted, "Irma!" She didn't respond, her body still limp and nearly lifeless. Her shirt had been torn to shreds so her entire torso was bare, but it was so covered in blood that you almost couldn't tell. Michelangelo looked at Don's face, his expression deathly serious. "Don, I have to wake her up," he told him. "Please don't freak out on me, okay?"

And then without another word he lifted his hand and slapped Irma's cheek. The sound of skin on skin contact seemed to reverberate in the room, and if Irma hadn't opened her eyes wide with a gasp, Donatello would have tried to strangle him right there. But before he could say anything, Michelangelo had tilted her face in his direction and held up the bottle. "Irma, what is this? What do we do?"

"The bottle?" she whispered, so quietly they could barely hear it.

"Yes, the bottle, it's right here. What is it for?"

Slowly, very slowly, she lifted up one of her blood-stained hands and gestured at her stomach. "Pour," she murmured, and then her eyes closed again.

"Pour? Pour? What does she mean?" Leonardo looked distraught and he still held the phone in his hand and April's voice called out on the other end demanding explanations.

Michelangelo frowned. Donatello just stared at the bottle and then back at Irma and then he shouted, "Someone take her head for me!"

"What?" Leo looked taken aback.

"Hold her head, damn it!" The oldest hurried to comply and Donatello snatched the bottle from Michelangelo's hand and quickly opened the top. Without hesitation he poured the golden liquid onto her wound, rubbing it in as he did so.

"What the fuck are you doing?!" shouted Raphael as he rushed over. Donatello paid him no attention as he continued to rub it into her wound. The scent of the juice suddenly wafted into the air, and instantly everyone fell silent as the liquid mixed with the blood on her chest and the blood in her wound. The smell of the blood suddenly rushed to the surface again, and it mixed with the beautiful scent of the golden liquid. They watched the wound as the two smells seemed to compete for power in the air, and the atmosphere of the entire room changed. They could feel it in their bones, magic fighting for dominance over mortality, and they stared with rapt attention at the gaping hole in Irma's stomach. Nothing happened for a few minutes. The smells seemed to dissipate. Michelangelo sat back slowly, his face filled with crushing disappointment, and Leo closed his eyes, covering his mouth with his palm. Raphael said nothing but slowly turned away from the sight. But Donatello kept starting. Ever so gently, he cradled her upper body in his arms, still staring at the wound. Still, nothing. And then…

"Look!" he exclaimed.

The other three all turned to look and gasped in surprise as they saw the skin, the red, cut, bleeding skin suddenly start to pull itself back together, slowly, slowly. They kept watching and then Irma gave a small moan and the turtle holding her stared at her face. Her eyes sluggishly opened and looked into his, confused. She was covered in blood, her shirt was all ripped up, she looked like she was almost anemic; "You are the most wonderful, beautiful woman in the entire world, Irma Langinstein," Donatello said finally, his fingers slowly tracing where only moments before had been a huge gash in her body. Then without another word, Donatello tightened his arms around her and kissed her so hard it took her breath away. She managed to wrap her arms around his shoulders and kissed him back as much as she could. Her skin looked as though it was glowing with the magic of the peach, and before their eyes her face grew flush as she lost the pale appearance that she had just moments before.

The two pulled away after a moment and then Michelangelo threw his arms around her holding her tight and laughing, and soon he was joined by Leo. Raphael knelt by her side and slowly placed a hand against her skin. It was nearly healed but she winced just the same. "Sorry," he murmured. "I'm so sorry." Irma looked baffled for a moment and then she smiled and took his hand, squeezing it tightly. "You came for me." She looked back at Donatello. "You came for me. Apologies are not needed."

Donatello opened his mouth to say something, but Leonardo held up a hand to stop him. "I hate to interrupt, but we need to leave. Like, right now." He gestured with the phone he held in his hand and the other three looked at each other worriedly.

"What?" asked Irma. Donatello just looked at her. "Irma," he asked, "do you think you can walk? You lost a lot of blood."

"Um… let me try." Irma tried to sit up with an expression of pain before sitting back. "Nope. Don't think so." Donatello chuckled and then carefully picked her up bridal style. She gave a small 'eep' of surprise and then wrapped her arms around his shoulders as the four of them began to run. "Hey, Irma," Donatello said softly to her.

She looked up at him. "What?"

"Just so you know, I'm never going to let you go again. Ever."

"Hmm… I think I can live with that."

They continued running through the hallways, as though they knew exactly where they were going. Irma frowned. "How do you know where to go?"

"We got the blueprints to the place."

"What?! How?!"

"I'll explain later."

They took several turns before they got to a large door that had been blown off its hinges and Irma felt her jaw drop. "The heck is this?!"

"I told you I'd explain later."

They rushed through the door to find a vehicle that looked like a tank without a gun sitting in the midst of a large, empty garage. A man wearing a hockey mask was knocking out a few guys rushing at him, and though his expression was hidden behind his mask, it was apparent that he was going after his assailants with great gusto.

"Casey!" shouted Raphael, and the red brother rushed over to his friend and began smashing the faces of the attackers. Donatello started to rush over, but Irma's gasp of pain made him look down at her face. She was still pale, so pale. He hadn't really noticed before that although she looked much better than she had a few minutes ago, she was still far from healthy. Her skin was still somewhat cold. He mentally berated himself for not realizing sooner that her face was pinched form trying to hold back the pain she felt as they ran. She had lost so much blood, and no matter how quickly she had healed up, the wound and the damaged innards were bound to still be remarkably tender. He rethought his plan of joining his three brothers in the fight, and instead went behind them towards the vehicle. He carefully shifted Irma's weight onto one arm as he opened the door and crawled inside, gently placing her on one of the bench seats in the back. "Stay here," he said firmly.

"Where else would I go?"

He paid her no mind and instead went back outside with the other four. Irma wanted to stay awake, but he had laid her on the seat, and she was so tired still, and she felt so safe… her eyes drifted closed and all of the tension and worry and misery of the last couple of months seemed to fade away along with her consciousness…

* * *

><p>"… told you to stay with the truck!"<p>

"I did stay with the truck! They came after me!"

"Self defense, Leo."

"Oh, shut up, Raph!"

My eyes opened gradually, taking in the rocking of the vehicle, the sounds of the voices around me, and I became aware of the fact that my head was in someone's lap and one hand was holding me steady and the other was stroking my hair. I turned my eyes upwards and met the gaze of-

"Donatello," I breathed softly. He smiled down at me, like I was the most valuable, wonderful thing in all of creation, and I could feel a faint blush work its way onto my cheeks.

"IRMA!" I gasped in surprised and my body jerked of its own accord, sending a huge and sharp stab of pain through my abdomen and stomach.

"Mickey!" shouted Don in aggravation at his younger brother. "Now look what you did!"

Michelangelo's face was peeking over the seat in front of us, looking properly abashed at having caused me discomfort. "I was just excited she was okay," he said sullenly. "I thought you had died or something when we got back in and you were asleep," he told me.

I gave him what I hoped was a stunning smile, and then I shivered. "I'm cold," I said to Don.

"Well, that's because you're drenched in blood and we haven't washed you off."

I looked down at myself and saw that someone had kindly zipped up my jacket so that I wasn't displaying my bra to everyone now, but the blood had seeped through the material. I made a face and then reached down to unzip it, realizing with a small tinge of sadness that it was likely that I'd carry a scar for the rest of my life. I could feel it there, an unfamiliar sensation of rough skin against the fabric of my jacket, and I wanted to see how bad it was. Don put his hand over mine right as I wrapped my fingers around my zipper and squeezed gently, moving my hand away. "Please," he said quietly. "Not yet. I can't see… I don't want to break down in front of you while you're conscious."

Mikey reached over and lightly tugged on a strand of my hair. "You're still real pretty, even if you have a scar."

I grinned at him. "One on my shoulder, one on my stomach… I'm going to be able to pass for a mercenary or something now."

"You don't have the muscles for that," came a familiar accented voice from towards the front. "You're as soft as cookie dough."

"I'm sticking my tongue out at you, Raphael!" I called up towards him.

"Throwing insults already. Now I know you're fine," came a serious but slightly teasing voice.

"Don," I said, "please smack Leo for me when you have a chance."

There was the sound of a hand hitting someone's head from the front and Raph called back to me, "Already did it."

And then I heard Casey calling back to me from the very front, so I knew he must be shouting from the way his voice carried. The good thing was that although the vehicle was large, it was made in such a way that we could hear each other easily. There were no windows where I lay in Don's lap, and so I knew we must have been in the back of the van from how there was so little light and mostly darkness where we were, but I didn't mind so much.

"I'm real glad you're okay, Irms," Casey said. "Thought I was gonna have heart failure for a few seconds when I saw them runnin' in with you all bleedin' an' stuff."

"I'm going to have to apologize to April for scaring her like I did when we thought Irma was dead," I heard Leo mention to Casey.

"Yeah, you are."

Then there was the sound of something ringing. "Oh, ho… Guess who it is," said Leo loudly.

"Put her on speaker," Don said.

I assumed it was going to be April on the phone and I was preparing to hear her shouting out to me, but instead I was shocked to hear, not the voice of my best friend, but instead the voice of one of the turtle's worst enemies.

"_I am assuming from all of the corpses we discovered here that you succeeded in your mission_."

The smooth, cool voice of Oroku Karai was filtered into the air, slightly tinny from the speakers on the phone.

"Indeed we did," Leonardo replied calmly.

I stared up at Don, my mouth open. "Um… What is this?"

Don opened his mouth to respond but Karai did instead. "_We exchanged knowledge for a favor from the turtles. They were given information concerning your location and in return they cleared out the base for me. Excellent work on Shinobu, by the way. I almost didn't recognize his body_."

"Couldn't help myself," grumbled Raphael.

"_I'm sure he would have thanked you, actually, since he would have known what I would have done to him had you not killed him for me_." There was a moment of silence when we could hear the faint sound of someone calling for Karai on her end of the phone and she gave a sharp command that I didn't catch. "_Unfortunately, it is time to end this conversation. Our brief alliance has ended and it is time for us to return to our former activities. I doubt that we will speak again on terms as good as this. I bid you a good day_."

Leo's voice rang out clearly before she could hang up. "Karai!"

"… _Yes_?"

"Thank you, Karai."

"_I… You… You're welcome_." Her voice was uncertain; perhaps shocked? No doubt she hadn't expected any thanks, least of all from the turtles. Either way, her earlier confidence seemed to have disappeared, and her response was in a tone I had never heard from her before. There was quiet again, and I almost expected her to say something, heard a small breath, and then she disconnected.

There was quiet on my end of the line, and then I said "That was rather unexpected." And then Mikey and Casey laughed, with Leo and Raph starting to talk to each other about everything they had done in the base. I tuned out their voices and instead found myself turning back to Donatello. As if sensing my gaze on him, he looked down at my face and traced my jaw with his fingers. I could see the faint outline of a smile on his face from the dim lighting, and for some reason it made the light spots in his eyes even brighter. "Like stars," I murmured to myself.

"Hmm?"

And then suddenly the words were rushing to my mouth as though I had no control over them, as though my entire being demanded that I speak those words, as though my very soul needed to scream out, even though they came in a whisper, and I felt an invisible hand reach in and squeeze my heart within my chest until I could say them.

"Don, I think I'm in love with you."

His gaze didn't leave mine and the outline of the smile faded away into an intense expression that bored through my eyes and into my soul. "You think?"

I swallowed. "I love you, Donatello," I whispered. "I mean I really, really, really love you."

He was completely silent as he bent towards me until he was only a hair's breadth away from me and said "And I love you."

After he said that, it was as though the entire universe expanded again and the weight on my chest disappeared. I felt tears prick at the corner of my eyes and as if he knew they were forming, he kissed them away before his lips met mine, his fingers tangling in my short hair. My arms went around his shoulders of his own accord, and I couldn't help but dig my nails into his skin ever so slightly as the kiss deepened. He pulled back a little so that we could see each other's faces and I briefly thought to myself that my heart had never felt so full in my entire life.

_The most beautiful smile had spread across her face, her eyes softening in a way that he had never thought they would again. "I love you, Don," she said again, her voice deathly quiet and rough, as though she could barely handle the depth of what she felt, but she never turned from him, refusing to hide anything. It was, he knew, an unconscious offering to him of everything that she had and was, and he held her to him tightly like he wanted her to become a part of him in every sense. He didn't draw away until she gave a small sound of discomfort from his plastron pressing against her injury, and even then he kept his arms around her tightly. _

_They held each other like that all the way home, and the others in the front seats tried to politely pretend like they didn't know they were having a passionate make out session in the back seat. Even so, they couldn't help but give each other smirks and eye rolls, as though to say "It took them enough damn time." They continued on their way, and as they went, the youngest brother started to hum to himself an old, familiar tune that echoed softly throughout the large vehicle, almost like an ending song. It felt oddly fitting for the moment, and no one tried to stop him as they drove home, a sense of peace falling over all of them. They were all together again, and the two in the very back wondered how such an unlikely pair as themselves should find in each other a person that they couldn't live without- an entirely different, but equally wonderful and amazing kind of family._

_**The End**_

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><p>Well, my friends… This is it. It's taken me a long, long time and lots of patience on your parts, but this story is now complete.<p>

Except for the epilogue. But who's interested in THAT?

I hope that this ending was everything you expected and more. I'm so thankful that you've all stayed with me this long, right until the end, and I can only pray that I managed to please you all and do justice to this story which I truly love. Thank you all, so, so very much for your continued support, and hopefully, should such a time come, I hope to see you all for any future stories concerning the Hamato Family, including the newest member.


	25. Epilogue

Let's get this out of the way first: I don't own TMNT. If you sue, I can shove this in your face and make you look like idiots.

A very, very, very big shout-out to my beloved beta readers, Colonel Pop and GoodSmilesGirl. I dedicate this chapter to you two and to your ceaseless work and support for me and my story. I love you both. I hope all my readers appreciate the fact that without your encouragement and help, this story might not exist.

Alright, dear readers. Due to popular demand and a personal desire, I have here an official epilogue told once more from the perspective of our very own Irma Rose Langinstein-Hamato. Enjoy and delight. And so, without any more delay, I present to you…

* * *

><p><strong>The Epilogue<strong>

They drove me back to their Lair where an anxious April and Splinter were waiting for us. When Donatello carried me out of the tank, April burst into tears and as soon as her arms were around me we were both sobbing our hearts out, clinging to each other. Casey and the other brothers each got a chance to hug me tightly as they clambered out, and once that was done, Splinter wrapped his arms around me himself and then cupped my face in his hands, saying "Welcome home, child."

April had some clothes for me and set them out while I was bathing, delighting in the fact that I could go where I wanted when I wanted and there would be no beatings or guns or knives or death threats. I showed April and Master Splinter my wound once I was appropriately dressed and I took a look at it myself. It was several inches long from Ken slicing deeply across my belly before digging the blade into me. It was jagged, red, and very tender. Despite the magical properties of the peach, I would always carry a mark of my almost-death upon my body. I briefly mourned the fact that I would never be able to wear a bikini again without getting some questions, but at least I could make up stories about how I once held off an entire group of muggers on my lonesome. Or say that I saved a school bus filled with kids from falling off a bridge, which wouldn't exactly give me such a big wound on my stomach but would make me look kick-ass.

My family and the police were demanding answers as to where I was, but with the help of the turtles and my friends I came up with a good excuse. To be honest, I don't actually remember quite what it was on account of it was a very confusing time, but whatever I said, it worked.

Of course I had no place to stay and no belongings with me because everything that I hadn't sold before had been burnt to ashes in my apartment. Luckily I had insurance and I had a nice, fat check waiting for me when I returned to the Land of the Living.

My job problem, which before had driven me nuts, was actually solved almost as soon as I got back when I was talking to April and Casey in their apartment one afternoon shortly after my return. I was staying with them officially, although I was spending most of my time down in the Lair with my boyfriend. "Hey, Irms," Casey said to me as he flipped some burgers, "I got an idea for ya."

"Oh, yeah?" I said. "What is it?"

"Why don't you live in the apartment above the store?" he suggested, and April's head shot up with surprise and then she smiled.

"That's a great idea! Why don't you?"

"I couldn't do that!" I protested. "I don't have a job right now! I can't pay you guys rent or anything for the time being."

"Go work at the store," Casey suggested again. "God knows April could use the help. We're always flying around so much that we have to keep the place closed usually. If you were working there, you could keep the place open and run it for us while we're gone. Besides," he said, bringing the burgers over to the table, "April's gonna to be even more busy for the next few months."

I adjusted my glasses as I watched him go to the bookshelf for a moment, pulling something out of a small box there. "Why am I going to be even more busy?" April asked absently as she leafed through a magazine before her.

Casey set a tiny black velvet box in front of her and my hands flew up to my face in shock. "Because you'll be planning a wedding," he said calmly as he went to the fridge to bring out drinks. April froze as she stared at that tiny box and her eyes flew up to mine, my hands still covering my mouth. She lifted her hands trembling and opened the box to reveal a perfect diamond on a golden band. She burst into tears, a beautiful smile on her face as Casey came back with ketchup and kneeled before her. "Wanna get married?" he asked her, and she nodded and cried even harder as he slid the ring on her finger. She and I were both teary-eyed as he pulled her up against him and kissed her deeply. I almost felt like an intrusion, but at the same time I was so honored that he would be willing to ask her while I was present. He pulled me towards them as well and the three of us shared a hug as we laughed and cried.

April asked me to be her Maid of Honor, and I accepted. I also accepted the new job offer and the apartment above their shop.

* * *

><p>It had been four months since my rescue. The peach seed that I had taken was still golden and shone in my hand as I held it, and I felt a sense of peace as I carefully placed it into a small ceramic pot that held a place of honor on my dresser right next to the window in my room, and covered it with dirt. The sunlight poured onto it almost constantly, and I made sure to water it every day. I didn't know exactly what it would grow into, but planting it felt right.<p>

My new apartment was somewhat larger than my last, although there was only one bedroom. The kitchen and living room were somewhat outdated, but all of the appliances worked and I painted the rooms myself and put up pictures and other plants. By the time I was done, I had made it mine and it was home. The largest piece of furniture I had was my king sized bed that took up most of the space in my bedroom. Luckily I had a spacious closet, so that wasn't much of an issue. The bed was also the most expensive thing I had, but it was much more comfortable for Donatello, so it was worth it. His things were lying around as well, his books on my shelves, his tools put in small baskets and his favorite foods in my fridge. His bo staff even had a place of honor in the corner, and sometimes when I came into my apartment to see it sitting there, I could feel my heart flutter in my chest as though it couldn't get over the fact that he was mine and I was his. I really couldn't blame my heart for feeling that way; I couldn't believe my good luck sometimes either.

I was officially an employee of April O'Neil now. It was true that they had needed help before. April and Casey were almost always flying around looking for artifacts and when they weren't they were swamped with paperwork. Now that they had me, they didn't have to worry about it. And honestly, I loved my job. Research had always been one of my favorite pastimes, and with my boss gone most of the time I could blast music and keep things in order my own way. Donatello had taken my pink glasses, which had sustained some damage during my escape and the ensuing chaos, and made them anti-fog, unbreakable, and the frames were made of some sort of titanium alloy. I had no idea how he got all the materials for it. For all I knew, he had made it all. Not only that, but if I wanted, I could ask him to pull up information for me and it would appear on the lenses before my eyes as a sort of personal computer that only I could use. Don't tell me how he did it; I didn't want to know myself.

Master Splinter had started calling me his daughter, and the first time he did I got teary-eyed. He was more of a father to me than my own had been and it touched me deeply how he was willing to call me his own. Donatello and I picked up our relationship right where we had left it off, and in fact, things were even better than before. Now both of us had no doubts as to how we felt and where we wanted to go from this point on. I had never believed stories that people told of 'knowing when you know' when it came to love, but I did now. He did as well. We could talk without even using words now, like we had some sort of secret sign language, and even when we were angry at each other we could discuss it like adults and come out feeling like we had said what we needed to and had no more complaints. I had never had that happen to me before.

Christmas came around once more and this time, although we did have another Christmas party with everyone, there were no heartbreaking scenes with someone walking away. In fact, Donatello came home with me, just to snuggle and spend Christmas Evening together.

I had a Christmas Tree set up in my apartment and I had loaded it down with beautiful lights. I turned off all the other lights so that the only source of light in the room was from the tree, and the two of us sat on my couch, his arm around me and me leaning my head on his shoulder. We just sat there, enjoying the soft music playing in the background and the quiet peace. Everything was perfect. And then I turned my head ever so slightly so that I could look at him, and at the same time, he looked at me. We both froze.

We hadn't done anything really physical before that moment; sure we had make out sessions and cuddles, but he didn't want to rush anything and I was so happy to be 'courted' that I didn't really care too much. But right at that moment, when was looking at me with his skin and eyes highlighted with all the colors from the tree and the pure joy I felt at being there with him… I was suddenly filled with so much love, and as we both leaned in to kiss each other and explosion of desire rushed through our bodies and I found myself with his arms wrapped around me tightly and his kisses suddenly turning hungry. It felt like flames were starting to lick at my bones and I knew he was starting to feel the same thing.

I'm not sure how, but somehow I ended up in his arms as he carried me bridal style into my bedroom and laid me down on my bed, slowly crawling over me. As he began to kiss gently along my neck and my arms went around his shoulders to run my hands along his neck (which I had learned before that he loved), I thought to myself that, although I may have rather sucky taste in men… I had absolutely _fantastic _taste in turtle.

* * *

><p>Well, my darlings. This is the final, ending, absolutely last chapter of the story Peaches, Puzzles and Problems. I dearly hope that you've all loved the trip, and I've sent you off with a satisfying ending.<p>

It's been a long trip and a sometimes exhausting one, but I can say that I feel very happy with where it's gone and how it's ended. Maybe, maybe, sometime in the future, I might do a sequel story, but right now I'm quite content with this ending and if I never wrote another story for this I'd be satisfied. But chances are that at some point I'll be writing a sequel. Just don't put it on a deadline, because you might be disappointed if I don't meet it.

Also, for those of you who are interested, I have written a Donny-centered POV about his first night with Irma, both as a challenge to myself and simply because I wanted to. Yes, it's rated M. I'll be posting it up at some point in the future, so if you want to take a look at it when it goes up, you can.

Thanks once more for sticking with me this long! You're all fantastic!


	26. Special Announcement, Everyone!

_Cleopatra Antoinette Proudly Presents_

_._

_._

_._

_A sequel to her hit story "Peaches, Puzzles, and Problems"_

_._

_._

_._

**Marriage, Murder, and Mayhem**

A story of espionage, mutagen, killer robots, explosives, wedding cake,

angry exes, extraterrestrials, loyalty, family, and love. And also pizza.


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